Potions and Snitches
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Facing Your Fears

Harry was woken up by a beam of sunlight on his face.  He needed a few moments to realize were he was, then he quickly sat upright and blinked. He hadn't bothered to draw the curtains of his four-poster bed the night before, but where did the sun come from in the dungeons? Bewildered, he grabbed his glasses and his mouth dropped open from surprise.

Someone had opened the huge curtain he had been wondering about the day before. The sight that was displayed in front of Harry's eyes was spectacular. The dormitory was obviously built into the lake, and while the upper part of the giant window was above the water surface and let bright sunlight inside the room, the lower part permitted a tremendous view of underwater life. This was even better than the aquarium that Harry had seen when he had been to the Zoo with the Dursleys. Fascinated, he got out of bed and approached the window. A purple snail was slowly making her way on the other side of the glass.

Harry was startled out of his contemplation when a massive body stood next to him. It was Goyle. ‘It's good, isn't it', the boy said proudly.

‘Yeah', Harry said. Although he didn't like to agree with Goyle, there was nothing else to say to that. Reluctantly he abandoned his place at the window and got ready for breakfast.

It felt weird to enter the Great Hall wearing a Slytherin tie and even weirder sitting down at the Slytherin table. He looked over to the Gryffindors. As expected, many people were staring in his direction. There were the twins, grinning at him and giving him the thumbs up. And there were Ron and Hermione, looking at him anxiously, the question obvious on their faces. Harry shrugged and tried a faint smile. He was glad he would be able to fill them in during their first lesson directly after breakfast. Suddenly he realized he was hungry. No surprise really, as his nerves had prevented him from eating properly at dinner the day before. As his new housemates ignored him, he busied himself eating as much as he could and hurried from the table as soon as he was full.

‘Hi', he said a short while later when he met Ron and Hermione in the misty divination classroom. His two friends were sitting together with Neville on cushions around a flat, round table.

Ron's face lit up and he shifted his cushion to make room for Harry between himself and Hermione. ‘Cool, mate, I hadn't expected we'd still have this lesson together! How come? What about the other Slytherins, do none of them take Divination?'

‘No, they don't', said Hermione. ‘I've seen them all in... ‘ She blushed and broke off.

‘In what?' asked Harry.

‘In the direction of another part of the castle', Hermione said quickly. ‘So how was your first night, Harry?'

Harry had the feeling that this hadn't been what Hermione originally had wanted to say, but now Ron was also asking how Harry had survived until now, and so he gave them a brief summary of what had happened to him so far. The other Gryffindors surrounded them as well and listened sympathetically when he told them about the fire ants.

‘I bet it was Malfoy, that git!' exclaimed Ron. Just then the mystical voice of their Divination Professor could be heard.

‘My dear students, you'll need to calm down or you'll never be able to feel the vibrations of the beyond!'

Reluctantly everybody sat down again.

‘Let's all look into your partner's teacup and see if you can unveil the future!'

‘Oh no, not those blasted cups again', whispered Ron and made a face.

Harry silently agreed. Sighing, he drank his tea, swirled his cup with the remaining dregs around a few times and passed the cup on to Ron. ‘So, mate, what do you see?' he asked.

Ron watched the tea leaves in mock concentration. ‘Let me see,' he said, ‘lots of smallish dark spots, looks exactly like another fire ant attack!'

He and Harry exchanged a look and both snorted.

‘Careful,' Hermione whispered. ‘Professor Trelawney is already looking your way! And fire ants in a bed are not funny, Ron!'

Harry looked over at their teacher and saw that indeed she was frowning in their direction.

‘Sorry that I was laughing mate', muttered Ron. ‘I suppose you had nothing to laugh about last night.'

‘In fact I had', said Harry slowly and a grin spread over his face.

‘Psst', warned Hermione, thumbing through her book Unfogging the Future and looking into Neville's cup.

‘Everything alright, dears?' Professor Trelawney looked into Harry's cup that Ron was still holding, then, with a little shriek she took a few steps backwards again. ‘My dear boy, I know it is not always easy to face your fate, but there is no escaping your destiny, and idle chattering in class will not delay it...' With these melodramatic words she went back to Lavender Brown, who had been following her with wide, admiring eyes.

‘So, laugh about what?' muttered Ron as if nothing had happened.

‘Snape. He came in to say good night!' At that, Neville made wide fearful eyes, which made Harry and Ron giggle, and even Hermione had to smile. ‘It doesn't sound that funny now', Harry said pensively, ‘but yesterday, I was laughing so hard after Snape had left, I couldn't stop!'

‘Probably a hysterical reaction', said Hermione wisely, carefully keeping an eye on Professor Trelawney.  ‘You were under stress and that was an outlet...'

Harry shrugged and turned to Ron again.

‘I just imagined what he would do with the first years, probably tucking them in!'

Both snorted again and when Hermione kicked them under the table they became aware of the glare their teacher was sending their way. Hastily Ron drank his tea, swirled his cup around and passed it to Harry. Heads bent low over the table, they pretended to concentrate on the message of Ron's tea leaves.

Ron couldn't resist, though. ‘And just imagine, what does Snape do with the girls, give them a goodnight kiss on the cheek? Urgh!'

Both started sniggering so hard that not even another kick from Hermione stopped them. Professor Trelawney apparently had had enough, though. She advanced on them quickly, her shawls flutering.

‘Oh my dears, next week we are going to have a little test on what you have learned so far and I foresee that some among us will have great diffficulty in achieving good results, I can even see that two of this class are going to fail altogether!' said Professor Trelawney in her misty voice.

With that, she briskly turned to the table where Seamus and Dean were sitting.

‘You see? I told you,' whispered Hermione furiously. ‘She is angry at you! She foresees two will fail, what utter rubbish! She will just fail you and that's it!'

Harry and Ron looked at one another. Hermione probably was right. It certainly hadn't been a good idea to do so much talking in class, but when were they supposed to do it, now that they had so little time together? They spent the rest of the lesson in silence.

‘What do you have next?' asked Ron when they had climbed down the ladder. 

‘Defence with Lupin, but we'll meet again with Hagrid after lunch!' said Harry.

Harry took care not to enter the Defence classroom too early. He wanted to make sure that the others had already taken their seats. That way, nobody would get the chance to push him away under the pretext that Hary had taken his or her seat. And he would also be able to take care that he didn't end up at the side of Draco Malfoy. However, when he entered the room with just a few minutes to spare, he noticed to his dismay that Malfoy was still missing. He took a seat in the rear of the room next to Millicent Bulstrode.

‘So, did you also cover boggarts last lesson?' Harry asked nobody in particular.

It was Zabini who answered him. ‘No. We got the moral sermon, why it's bad to use Dark Magic, what makes magic Dark blablabla. Well, we know where we stand with Lupin then, don't we?'

‘Huh?' made Harry, who didn't understand what the boy meant.

‘You don't get it, do you? Well how could you,' said Millicent rather aggressively. ‘With you Gryffindors he does a practical lesson right away, making fun of Snape at that, but with us, oh, we might turn dark if we aren't already, so it's necessary to teach us right from wrong.  But always with a friendly smile of course, what a bloody hypocrite!'

Harry stared at her open mouthed. It had seemed impossible to him that the soft-spoken Lupin had managed to antagonize the Slytherins in the first week, but it was obviously the case. Malfoy has had it in for him from the very beginning just because he wears shabby robes, he thought angrily.

‘You're not fair!' he protested. ‘Lupin probably just didn't have a boggart at hand! And you don't know, if he hadn't found the boggart he might have given us that introduction about Dark arts as well!'

‘Keep dreaming, Potter,' said Zabini.

Before Haary could think of something to say, quick footsteps could be heard and Lupin entered the room. With his wand he was controlling a trunk that was hovering in front of him. Lupin placed the trunk in the front of the classroom and nodded at his pupils.

‘Good morning, everybody. You may put your books away, this is going to be a practical lesson.'

Everybody complied quickly, Harry looking at Millicent thriumphantly, which she ignored.

‘In this trunk there is a boggart; anybody know what that is?'

Harry looked around. No hand had got up, but surely they all knew, the whole school had talked about Neville's boggart. He raised his hand.

‘Sorry, Harry,' Lupin said, giving him a friendly smile. ‘I won't call on you this lesson to answer any questions, I know you know the answers, so it would hardly be fair. Nobody else? What about you, Gregory, can you tell us what you know about boggarts?'

Goyle grunted and started to explain clumsily what a boggart was and how it could be fought. Harry let his mind wander back to what Millicent had said before the lesson and was startled out of his thoughts when the door opened and Malfoy strutted in.

‘Professor, sorry I'm late', he said in a tone that didn't sound sorry at all and Harry was sure that, had he used that tone with Snape, he would have found himself in detention straight away. Lupin however was unfazed.

‘Please try not to let it happen again', he said calmly and adressed Goyle again. ‘That was explained correctly and completely, Gregory, ten points to Slytherin, well done.'

Goyle looked completely bewildered at the praise, and Malfoy who had sat down next to him, let his wand drop on his desk with a loud clatter and looked at Goyle as if he had sprouted another head. His show of looking a mixture of gobsmacked and impressed with Goyle provoked a giggle from the rest of the class and was excellently done; even Harry, who couldn't supress a giggle, had to admit this to himself.

Lupin frowned and waited until everybody was silent again. Then he demonstrated the wand movement. ‘Everybody practice the movement now, please.'

Lupin walked around and watched every student's wand movement.

‘Very good. Now please, everybody concentrate and think what form the boggart would take with you and what you would do about it.'

Harry closed his eyes. He knew only too well what form his boggart would take, and although this was already his second lesson on the subject he still had no idea what could be done to make a Dementor something that you could laugh about.

‘Blaise, would you please start?'

Zabini nodded a bit nervously and slowly walked to the front. He raised his wand and waited.

‘Alohomora!' Lupin said and the trunk opened. A huge mountain troll advanced on them, viciously swinging his club.

‘Riddiculus!' The dirty loincloth the otherwise naked troll was wearing transformed into a diaper and the club into a huge pink dummy. Everybody was soon laughing hysterically at the giant baby standing in front of them.

‘Very good. Millicent, you next!'

The girl waked resolutely to the front while Zabini sat down. Crack! Where transformed troll had been a huge wolf was howling at Millicent, preparing for the jump....

‘Riddiculus!' The wolf was lying in a bed, a lacey hat on his head just as Harry had seen it on pictures in Dudley's old fairy tail book about Little Red Riding Hood.

He was the only one who chuckled, though; the others were looking rather perplexed. The boggart cosequently wasn't very impressed and leapt out of bed.

Millicents eyes had gone wide and she retreated a few steps.

‘Here!' Lupin shouted and rushed forward. Crack! The glowing orb that Harry had already seen was abruptly hanging in the air, and with an almost lazy flick of his wand Lupin transformed it into a balloon losing its air and sent it zooming into the trunk.

He turned to Millicent, his face paler than usual. ‘Are you alright?' he asked kindly.

She nodded, still a bit shakily. ‘It seemed to work, but only at first.'

Lupin nodded, took a bar of chocolate out of his pocket and broke off a piece for her. ‘Here, eat, this, it will help.' When she had put it into her mouth he continued. ‘You had a good idea with the wolf...'

‘It was a werewolf', Millicent interrupted him.

‘Yes, still it was a good idea.' Lupin paused for a short moment, briefly massaging his temples.  ‘I think your problem was just that your classmates couldn't really appreciate the joke as they didn't know the tale of Litte Red Riding Hood, am I correct? Which of you knows the story?'

Harry's hand was the only one that went up. ‘You see? So that was your bad luck, Millicent, and that can be a problem with boggarts in general, not everybody's sense of humour is the same. - So, Draco, will you be the next to try, please.'

‘No, sir.'

Lupin's face showed bewilderment. ‘I beg your pardon?

Malfoy folded his arms in front of his chest. ‘I am not going to display my greatest fear in front of a class. It's something personal.'

Lupin frowned. ‘You have a point there, but you still need to learn to face a boggart. And if you hadn't been late you would have heard Gregory explain that it is not wise to face a boggart alone. So how are you going to practice?'

Malfoy shrugged. ‘I don't know, but it's still personal and you can't force me to do it.'

‘I certainly won't force you', Lupin said slowly. He looked around at the class. ‘So, who's next then? Vincent perhaps?'

Crabbe looked at Lupin, then at Malfoy. He mutely shook his head.

Harry felt fury rise in him. Malfoy had already ruined Hagrid's first lesson, and now he was trying to ruin Lupin's lesson, too! It was clear to him that the others would do what Malfoy wanted.

‘I'll do it', he volunteered quickly.

Lupin hesitated and Harry felt a pang in his chest. So he had had the right impression in the previous lesson. Lupin had prevented him from facing the boggart deliberately. The professor looked around in the class and made his decision.

‘All right Harry, if you are sure.'

Harry nodded, determined, but feeling extremely nervous. He had volunteered on an impulse, mainly to help out Professor Lupin, though a tiny part of him was also slightly grateful that Malfoy had provided him with the chance to fight the boggart without Lupin really being able to deny him. But as he walked to the front he was all too aware that he didn't have a clue what to do with the Dementor. Maybe I can exchange its cloak and hood for a fluffy bathrobe, he thought. Not brilliant but it will have to do.

‘Ready, Harry? Alohomora!'

The trunk opened, and a greyish slimey-looking hand appeared, followed by the hooded head and the cloaked figure. When Harry heard the rattling breath he swallowed hard and tried to concentrate on a colourful, fluffy bathrobe, but ice-cold shivers were already running down his spine and the hand that was holding his wand shook... Again he heard a woman scream, burt this time it wasn't just a high pitched scream but a desperately pleading voice.

‘Not Harry, not Harry, please not Harry!'

‘Stand aside, you silly girl ... stand aside, now...'

Harry felt as if he couldn't get air as he heard the high pitched cruel voice. Why did he hear those voices? Who were those people?  Why was that poor woman shouting his name?

‘Not Harry, Please no, take me, kill me instead... Not Harry! Please... have mercy...Have mercy!'

Cruel laughter followed. Harry gasped for air, and then everything went black.

‘Harry.' Somebody slapped his face. ‘Harry!'

With difficulty he opened his eyes. Lupin's worried face came into view. Harry realized he was lying on the floor in the classroom.  Lupin helped him up into a sitting position and gave him an even larger piece of chocolate than he had given Millicent Bullstrode. As soon as Harry had put it into his mouth he felt better, but at the same time he became aware of the awkwardness of his situation.  He had fainted in front of Malfoy and all the other Slytherins! They would never let him forget this! Quickly he leapt to his feet.

‘I'm fine, really,' he lied.

Lupin looked at him a bit dubiously, but let it pass. ‘Well, go back to your seat, then,' he said.

Harry walked back to his desk, staring straight ahead in order not to look into the faces of his classmates who he knew were sneering at him. When he sat down he thought how good it would be now were he still in Gryffindor - Hermione would whisper worriedly if he really was alright and Ron would probably hiss back at her to leave him alone. Here, Millicent next to him didn't say a word.

‘What about the rest of you,' Lupin asked, ‘anybody else in need of a piece of chocolate?'

Dismissive muttering was the answer, and then Malfoy said. ‘No, thank you, professor. But you see, none of us fainted even with the real Dementor.'

Harry looked down at his desk. He knew he had blushed scarlet.

‘I see,' Lupin said.  He raised his voice a little. ‘Let me set one thing straight. Fainting in front of a Dementor has got nothing to do with weakness. Dementors are among the foulest ceratures on earth. They glory in decay and despair, they drain peace, hope and happiness out of the air around them. Even Muggles can feel their presence, although they can't see them. Get too near a Dementor and every good feeling, every happy memory will be sucked out of you. You'll be left with nothing but the worst experiences of your life. And that is why some of you, who may have enjoyed a happy and protected childhood,' his gaze rested on Malfoy who bit his lip, ‘are less  affected than others who have experienced true horrors in their past, even if those are lying in the subconscious, such as early childhood memoies.'

There was absolute silence in the classroom.

‘I hope that now that you know all this, you will never again belittle anybody due to the effect a Dementor has on him. Instead you should fall to your knees and thank the fates that have been so kind to you to spare you the horrible experiences that would cause you the same.'

Harry finally dared to properly look around in the classroom. Nobody commented Lupin's speech but from the slightly sheepish expressions on most faces Harry guessed that Lupin's point had been taken. A wave of gratitude towards his professor flooded through him. Not only had the man done what he could to save him from more teasing concerning Dementors, but his explanation had also helped Harry to understand what had been happening. So it had been his Mum's voice....

A huge lump formed in Harry's throat. Get a grip, Harry, he scolded himself, knowing that if he burst into tears now no speech of Lupin's, however impressive it might be, could possibly save him from the Slytherins.

Luckily Lupin continued talking. ‘For homework please read the chapter about boggarts. Oh, and before I forget: five points to Slytherin for everybody to tackle the Dementor, so that makes twenty more.'

Harry stared at him. ‘But Bulstrode and I didn't succeed!' he blurted out, receiving deathly glares from the others.

‘You and Millicent nevertheless tackled him', Lupin said quietly. ‘As such, you were facing your fears which is in itself always reason for praise.'

 Lupin checked the huge hour glass on his desk. ‘There is only a little time left. You may leave under the condition you don't stampede like a herd of centaurs in the corridor. - Harry, would you please remain behind for a moment.'

The classrrom was quickly deserted, except for Harry, who packed his satchel and walked slowly to his teacher's desk.

‘Are you really alright, Harry?' Lupin asked.

‘Yes!' Harry insisted.

‘I am sorry,' said Lupin. ‘I shouldn't have let you face the boggart.'

‘You knew I'd faint, didn't you', said Harry. ‘That's why you didn't let me do it last lesson, wasn't it?'

‘Not exactly. I assumed your boggart would take the shape of Lord Voldemort. And I thought it wouldn't be a good idea to let Lord Voldemort materialize in the middle of the classroom.'

Harry stared at him. Lupin had said the name, nobody except Dumbledore did that!

‘But if you were worried about that, then why did you let me try today?' he asked, puzzled. Now that he understood what Lupin had feared, he had to admit the man had a point. He could just imagine all the other students screaming and running for the door.

Lupin looked uncomfortable and ran his fingers through his hair. ‘Well, I thought... I thought it might be a good idea for your new housemates to see Voldemort for what he really is, rather than what their parents might have told them. I wanted them to have a chance to see for themselves what they might be pledging themselves to.'

Harry blinked in shock. It almost sounded as if Blaise and Millicent had been right - Lupid did think of Slytherins differently.

‘I'm sorry, Harry. If I had known your boggart would be a Dementor, I would have handled things differently.'

‘I did think of Voldemort at first,' Harry admitted. ‘But those Dementors....' He shivered.

‘I'm really impressed, Harry. It shows that what you fear above everything else is - fear. Very wise, Harry.'

‘Can you tell me how to fend a Dementor off?' Harry asked suddenly. ‘You know, with that silvery thing, like you did on the train...'

‘Harry, this is very advanced magic. And I think you should trust Professor Dumbledore not to allow any Dementor on the school premises.'

‘But if I don't learn, I won't even be able to face a simple boggart!' Harry insisted. ‘And I need to face my fears!' he quoted his Professor's words from the lesson.

Lupin smiled briefly. ‘Well quoted, Harry. Okay, we can give it a try. But you shouldn't be disappointed if you aren't able to master it yet, promise?'

‘Promise', said Harry.

Lupin nodded. ‘I'll inform you when I've got time. However, I suggest we wait a little bit, until you have settled in a bit more in Slytherin.'

Harry made a face.

‘And speaking of Slytherin', Lupin continued, ‘I'd like to offer you some advice. I don't know if you have noticed that your housemates weren't too impressed when you protested against being awarded house points?'

Harry shrugged. ‘Yeah.'

‘Well, I cannot be sure of course, but I think your remark was done impulsively because you thought it wasn't entirely fair?'

Harry shrugged again. ‘Yeah, why?'

‘I may be wrong, but I think it was likely interpreted by the others as an effort to deliberately prevent Slytherin from getting points. Be careful, because this could not only lead to angry housemates, but also to an immensely displeased Head of House.'

‘No need to tell me' Harry muttered.

‘So maybe you should clear up this misunderstanding, hmmm? - Off you go then, Harry, you must be hungry and lunch is about to start.'

When Harry made his way to the Great Hall, he was deep in thought. Clear up the misunderstanding, how was he supposed to do that? Apologize for what he had said and explain what he had meant? Never, he decided, and they wouldn't believe him anyway. All he would do was continue with his lessons as normaly as he could and earn points as much as he would in Gryffindor. Shouldn't be too difficult, he thought. With nobody to talk to in the evenings, I've got nothing to do but study anyway.

 

 

 

Chapter End Notes:
I had a lot of fun writing this chapter, especially the divination part - probably because it brought back memories from my own time at school ;)
As always, reviews are more than welcome!

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