"You're very quiet today," Helena commented to Harry as they sat once again beneath the Mulberry tree.

The previous day, Molly had taken the three teens on the customaryshopping excursion to Diagon Alley for books and supplies. The Ministry sent along two Aurors to assure Harry's safety and the trip was completed without incident.

Harry had originally thought the outing would be a welcome diversion, but as they went from shop to shop the whispers and curious stares evoked trepidation and anxiety.

"I'm sorry Helena, it's just that . . . "His sentence trailed off as he nervously fiddled with a hole in his jeans.

She leaned forward. "It's just what, Harry?"

He bit his lip and stared at the hole, "It's just that, last term . . . after …" He struggled to get the words out of his suddenly dry mouth. "Well,I didn't see anyone before we all left for the summer break. "

His enigmatic statement left the counselor at a loss. "I'm sorry Harry, I'm afraid I don't follow. "

He fidgeted some, then tried again. "I pretty much stayed with Hermione, Ron and Ginny in the infirmary that final week of school. I guess I was kind of avoiding everyone, so I really didn't talk to any of my friends after . . . after what happened at the Ministry,"his sentence trailed off in a whisper.

"I see; you're nervous about seeing the other students?"

He lowered his gaze and answered with a silent nod.

"Harry, what they might think … ?"

"But that's just it," he suddenly blurted out, "it's not what they think, it's what they know! Everyone knows. It was in the papers … and people talk. " He buried his face in his hands,"How can I face them after what I did . . . after what he did to me?"

Helena was a bit startled by his sudden outburst. When she'd first began working with Harry, he had been withdrawn from his environment and from those around him, with his emotions buried behind his wall of sadness. As she worked with him, they had accomplished a solid start by tackling many of the childhood scars. But as of yet, they had barely touched upon the more recent traumatic incidents.

"What is it you think they'll say to you?"

He lowered his hands but kept his gaze down, "We went to Diagon Alley yesterday. Everywhere we went, people were whispering and pointing at me. That's not new; people always do that, because I'm the 'Boy Who Lived'. But now they're probably all saying that I'm a big dolt who ran off and got a bunch of people hurt and killed. "

"That's not what the media says," Helena countered. "Everything I've read casts you as a hero. "

He drew in a sharp breath, as if her words had actually caused him pain.

"Please Harry, share with me what you are thinking. " He looked out across the garden and released his breath which shook as it left his body. "I haven't told this to anyone . . . " He started to tremble slightly as tears welled in his eyes.

Helena waited patiently. Whatever this hidden secret was, she knew that Harry would have to face it by verbally acknowledging it. After a long painful silence, he finally continued.

"When Voldemort possessed me, all I wanted to do. . . was die. " He released a small nervous titter. "That doesn't sound like much of a hero. "

Helena sat quite still as the tact of the conversation had taken on mega proportions. "It would help if you could relay your experience to me. " When Harry remained silent, she pressed, "Can you do that?"

He forced a swallow and then began to tell her about the possession: the pain from Voldemort's suffocating presence within him, how he thought that if he could only die then Voldemort and the pain would be gone and he, Harry, would once again see Sirius.

"But you didn't die, you lived. How do you feel about that now?"

"His expression echoed his confusion and sadness. "I don't know," he whispered.

They spoke for most of the afternoon; Helena guided Harry in examining all of his impressions and feelings regarding the loss of Sirius, the possession andhis right to life and happiness.

"It's going to take time to put all of that behind you. Even so, it will always be a part of you. As for the public's opinion, it doesn't matter. "

"That's easy for you to say. "

"Would you rather stay here?"

Harry furrowed his brow. "Where?"

"Here, at the Burrow. "

"You mean, not go to school?"

Helena had learned much about Harry's character during their work together; already knowing what his answer would be, she guided him through a bit of self-discovery. "Yes, you could just stay here. "

Harry was shocked. Not go to school, to Hogwarts, his home? He couldn't do that. He loved Hogwarts, living in the dormitory, being able to do magic, seeing his friends, and now that he was allowed to play Quidditch again — there was only one answer.

"No. I don't want to stay here, but I also don't know how I'm going to face everyone. "

Helena set her quill and parchment down upon the grass, and then leveled a determined look at him. "Harry, I wish to offer you a bit of advice, something I believe in my heart to be true. Is that all right?"

This was a first, he thought. Generally, Helena only asked questions; granted, they were leading questions but she always made him do the talking. So perhaps she was finally going to give him that panacea he had been waiting and hoping for. "Okay. "

"Harry,I know that you are overwhelmed and frightened. Seeing all of your peers will be a daunting task, but I also know that Hogwarts is very important to you, so much so, that you are willing to face your own vulnerabilities in order to be there. I support you in that decision and I commend you for it. I believe you to be a brave young man, but you are also human and certainly not invincible. "

As she spoke these words of sincerity, his tears began to spill over his lashes — again. During their work together, Helena had witnessed Harry break into tears so often that by now, he had given up any effort to hide his emotions. So he held his gaze and looked at her through swimming emerald eyes.

"I would like to continue our sessions once you have returned to Hogwarts. We can be very discreet about this, no one need know. It is one thing to be a figurehead, but you are also your own person and you deserve the respect to have your private matters — private. "

She noticed him release the smallest of sighs.

"Returning to school will be a challenge," she continued, "and I will be there to help you, as will your friends and your teachers. And so, here is my advice. "

Here it comes.

"Approach it one day at a time. Don't overwhelm yourself thinking about how you're going to make it through the entire school year or deal with the entire student body. Just think of getting through one day at a time and one person at a time. If that is too much, then try to get through one class or one hour, or even five minutes. If things get to be too much, call for me and I will come. "

It wasn't the fix-all he'd been hoping for, but he still felt overwhelmed and couldn't seem to find his voice, so he just nodded.

"You'll be all right, Harry. "She smiled with that look of serenity which only Helena could offer. Her assurance gave Harry a bit of peace with his decision to return to Hogwarts, andhe hoped that with help from her and from of all those who cared about him, perhaps things might be all right.

~~~~~

The day of departure turned out to be the usual chaotic affair, with everyone collecting their belongings and trying to get to Kings Cross station on time.

Hermione and Ginny squealed with glee when they saw each other, hugs were shared and all the initial greetings exchanged. As they waited to board the train, Harry noticed that Ron was unusually quiet around Hermione anddecided to inquire after his friend's odd behavior later on, when an opportunity presented itself.

Not long after the train departed, Hermione headed off to herprefects meeting and Ginny left to sit with Dean. Ron and Harry wound up sharing a compartment with Luna and Neville,who were chattingnonstop about the oddest array of subjects, and occupied their time during the long the journey by playing Exploding Snap and Wizards Chess.

Harry felt at ease with his compartment mates, for they had all been with him that fateful day at the Ministry and knew to keep that topic of discussion unspoken. As for those that stopped by to say 'Hi', they were congenial towards him and kept their conversations light. No one brought up the subject of the Ministry or Sirius, much to Harry's relief.

Late that afternoon, Luna and Neville went to go visit some of her Ravenclaw friends. After they left, Harry decided to try and discover the reason for Ron's odd behavior earlier that day.

"Sure was nice to see Hermione again. "

"Queen's Knight to G4. What?Oh yeah, she looks great. "

Harry speciously perked his eyebrows. "You can say that again. "

Ron's head snapped up,"What do you mean by that?"

"I just mean,"Harry shrugged a bit, "that she looks . . . different. "

"Yeah, I noticed. It's like she grew up, filled out . . . you know?"

"Yeah . . . I noticed. King's Bishop to F3. "

"But more than that Harry, it's not just that she … well, you know . . . . filledout. She's different somehow. It's like she's, um, I don't know how to describe it — mature, maybe?"

Harry looked out the window, trying to think of the word that might best describe the new Hermione. "How about . . . cosmopolitan?"

"Cosmo-what?What does that mean?"

Harry shrugged his shoulders, knowing that Ron would clam right up if he felt at all pressed. "It's someone who's been around people from other countries and stuff; it kind of affects how they are. See … you know the Burrow and Hogwarts, and I know Little Whinging and Hogwarts. But Hermione's been to all kinds of places. "

"I went to Egypt once. " Ron offereddefensively.

"Yeah. "

Ron thought about Harry's words for a minute while silently nodding his head. "Yeah, that's what she is now, cosmopolitan. " He smiled and then whispered quietly to himself, "I like that. "

Encouraged, Harry decided to investigate further but before he could pose his next question, the compartment door slid open and in came none other than Hermione. She collapsed onto the bench with a tremendous sigh, sitting down right next to Ron. "I thought that meeting would never end. "

"Anything interesting?" asked Harry.

"Actually. . . yes. But you'll have to wait until the Welcoming Feast to find out. The Headmaster is going to address all the returning students. "

"He is?Do you know what he's going to say?" asked Ron.

She nodded her head. "Yes, I do. Anthony was given a copy of the speech to read to theprefects. "

"Why, where are you lot going to be?"he asked.

"We're supposed to escort all the first years to their dormitories before he begins his speech. "

"Oh. So, what's he going to say?"

"I'm not supposed to talk about it, Harry"

"Oh, come on Hermione; you can tell us. "

"No I can't," she huffed. "Anyway, you two need to get into your robes; we're almost there!"

Surprised, both Ron and Harry looked out the window and realized that Hermione was indeed correct, they were indeed nearing Hogsmeade.

"How did we get here so fast?" asked Ron.

"I don't know, but I've gotta loo. I'll be right back. "

"No worries mate. I'll put the Chess game away. "

Harry jumped up and left the compartment. As he headed down the hallway, he watched all the students ducking into compartments to change into their robes and prepare for the train's arrival at the station.

Finishing up in the loo, Harry decided to splash some water on his face before heading back. His scar had been prickling for the last half hour and had started to give him another headache. Aside from these headaches and the occasional burning of his scar, Voldemort had been fairly quiet all summer. If he and everyone else cooperated,Harry might just enjoy a nice normal school year for once in his life. He smiled at the prospect.

But this was Harry Potter, the prime target of Voldemort, the focus of several vengeful Death Eaters and someone who always seemed to attracttrouble. Harry's short lived bliss came to an abrupt end when he opened the door.

A strong blow threw him backward against the wall of thewashroom. Immediately, his neck was pinned by the enormous forearm of Gregory Goyle. Before he could make any sense of what had just happened, Goyle began delivering some well placed punches. Even though Harry was on the verge of blacking out, his magic had a mind of its own. The air around them started to crackle and the walls began to shake.

Crabbe opened the door just a crack. "What the hell's going on in there?" He looked around in a panic. "Hurry up and finish Greg; we've got to get going. "

"Okay Vince," responded Goyle, "just close the door already. "

Once the door was again closed, Goyle leaned in close and spit on Harry's face. "You don't scare me you freaky half-blood. " The walls shook even more. "My father is sitting in Azkaban because of you, and my mum cries all the time. " He delivered another punch. "You really screwed things up for my family Potter, and you're going to pay. " He pushed a little harder on Harry's neck. "You keep quiet about this, or we'll pay a visit to that Mudblood friend of yours. "

When Goyle pulled his arm away, Harry collapsed to the floor. Goyle stepped over the struggling teen and quickly closed the door behind him. He joined Crabbe and the two sauntered back to their compartment, two cars ahead.

They were proud of themselves for successfully pulling off what, according to them, would be the first of many taunts designed as a means to deliver vindication for their perceived injustice. Little did they realize however, that this initial brazen, bungling act would set into motion a series of consequences that would forever shape the wizarding world.

~~~~~

The train began to slow down as it approached Hogsmead Station. It had taken a while for Harry to collect himself, but he finally did manage to stand. Leaning heavily upon the wall for support, he made it back to the compartment, staggered through the door and collapsed onto the floor.

"Harry!" Ron moved immediately to help his friend. "What's wrong?"

Hermione took one look at Harry's rumpled state and made straightway for the corridor. She looked in both directions, but it was empty. Everyone was apparently in their own compartments, preparing to exit the train. She returned to Harry who was still on the floor and knelt down beside him. "Harry, who did this to you?"

Harry raised his hand, holding off their questions as he tried to get his breath.

"Why do you even ask, Hermione?It had to be Malfoy, of course. "

"Ron, Malfoy was in the prefect's meeting. He and Pansy were still in there talking when I left. "

"Not . . . Malfoy. "Harry responded with a ragged voice.

Hermione took hold of Harry by the elbow. "Come on Ron, help me get him up onto the seat. "

As the train pulled slowly up to the platform, Harry sat of the bench, taking little sips from the cup of water Ron had fetched for him.

Hermione was sitting right next to him and her eyes were glaring with ire. "Now you listen to me, Harry James Potter; you absolutely must report this!"

"No, Hermione," he gingerly rubbed his sore ribs. "I don't. And I want you and Ron to keep quiet. "

Hermione swelled with exasperation. "Harry, you're obviously not thinking clearly. We have to report this. Look at you!"

"Listen, this is my business, all right?I just want to forget it happened. I'm not going to report it, and neither are you two. Got it?"

"Sure mate, whatever you want. "

Hermione glared at Ron, then turned back to Harry. "I can't make that promise right now. But I will agree not to say anything just yet. We are going to talk about this later. But please, go see Madame Pomfrey; you're obviously hurt. "

"No, I'll be okay. And besides, that's one of my goals this year — to stay out of the hospital wing. "

Hermione pursed her lips. "Are you sure you didn't hit your head? Because you're not thinking very clearly," she snapped.

"Hermione!" Ron retorted.

"Oh, forget I said that. Look, I have to go help with the younger students. Are you sure you'll be able to manage?"

"I'll look after him, Mione. Just send Ginny in here to help with Pig and Hedwig. "

"Okay. "With that, she gave Harry one more exasperated look then stood and left the compartment, mumbling to herself something about 'testosterone interfering with cognitive ability,'as she headed out the door.

~~~~~

Ron, Harry and Ginny eventually made it out to one of the awaiting carriages and on up to the castle. The Welcoming Feast got underway with Dumbledore's usual greeting and the sorting of first years. But the most intriguing highlight of the evening was the new Defense instructor, Professor Channon Jackson.

Seated next to Snape, the stark contrast between the two men was undeniable. Althougheach man's demeanor and carriage portrayed strength and elegance, the new professor was obviously taller and his larger frame was surrounded by a well defined musculature. Where Snape's skin was ivory and translucent; Jackson's was shaded a pale mocha. Both men had jet black hair; but as Snape's curtained his face, the new instructor's hair was straight, thick and hung like a sheet down the length of his back. Where Snape's chiseled facial features gave evidence to his European heritage; Jackson's face hinted at the exotic.

Throughout the entire feast, nearly every student in the room had theireyes glued on the newprofessor. But there were other observations which occurred throughout the meal.

Severus, who routinely scanned his Slytherins, couldn't help notice Crabbe and Goyle. They were snickering and whispering between themselves, and continually shot glances over to the Gryffindor table. Redirecting his attention in that direction, it was obvious that there was quite a bit of tension among the golden trio.

Granger and Weasleyrepeatedly cast worried looks in Harry'sdirection, while Harry occupied himself with pushing the food around on his plate and staring blankly at the table.

Glancing now back again toward the Slytherin table, Severus watched as Draco determinately tried listening to the conversation between Pansy and Theodore on his left, while ignoring Crabbe and Goyle's whispers to his right. But even Draco stole occasional glances in Potter's direction.

A clamor arose as all the first years vacated the Great Hall, led by their house Prefects. After they exited the Hall, Dumbledore stood to once again address the student body.

Ron nudged Harry to get his attention then nodded toward the front of the room, "Here it comes. "

Dumbledore and the professors moved to stand side-by-side in front of the Head table, displaying unity and strength.

"My dear students,as Headmaster, I wish to extend to you our wholehearted apology for the events of last year. It was a stressful period for all, and to many of you it was a time of unjustifiable hardship. On behalf of your instructors and Heads of House, I want to assure you that this year will mark a return to the familiar. All decrees implemented by Madame Umbridge have been revoked. Everything is as it was prior to her unfortunate appearance at this institution. It is our desire that this school year and all those to come be a time offruitful learning and happy experiences. Now, as you well know, classes will start bright and early tomorrow morning. " Then, Dumbledore stretched his arms out wide. "Live well, laugh often and learn much. Goodnight."

Many giggles sounded in response to the Headmaster's play on words. As benches were pushed and bodies clambered, thesilent attentiveness gave way to a cacophony of chatter and movement, but Harry remained in his seat.

"Come on, lets head on up. "

"Hold on, Ron. " He swallowed and took a little breath. "I want to wait till it clears out a bit. "

"Okay. "Ron looked a little more closely. "You know mate, you're a little pale there. "

"I'm fine, Ron. I just want to wait until it clears out some. All right?"

"Sure, Harry. "Ron feigned casualness as he continued to look on with concern.

Once they made it up to the Gryffindor common room, Harry headed straight on up the steps to the boy's dormitory, ignoring Hermione's attempts to resume their earlier conversation. He added very little to the first night's chatter amongst his dorm mates, but instead quickly got ready for bed. As he discreetly changed into his pajamas, he eyed the angry purple bruise that had formed on his lower chest, where Goyle had hit him repeatedly.

Ron caught a quick glimpse of the bruise and was about to suggest going to see Madame Pomfrey when Harry called out, "Good-night" to everyone, crawled into bed and drew the hangings closed.