With the moonlight filtering in through the bedroom window, Harry could tell it was still fairly early in the morning. Too early to be wide awake. Instead of trying to get back to sleep, he grabbed the comforter from the bed and brought it over to one of the window seats. He wrapped himself up in the comforter and curled up on the seat. As he watched the shadows of the gently blowing trees dancing in the moonlight, he couldn't help but think about the dream that awoke him just fifteen minutes earlier.

Like quite a few of his dreams these past six months, this one was about Sirius. But it wasn't one of his usual ones. He had gone to bed last night thinking about what this Christmas would be like having to spend it with the potions master. With those thoughts in the back of his mind, Harry started dreaming about what his Christmas was like last year with Sirius and what it would have been like this year if that night at the Ministry never happened, and what it would possibly be in the future if Sirius was ever found innocent. The dreams were too painful and he awoke completely depressed. He would in no way go back to sleep now.

When Severus awoke that morning, an hour after dawn, his eyes landed on the box on his night table. Because this would be the first Christmas he and Harry would be spending together, he wanted to do it right. For the next two days he would have his real memories, though he had no idea what it would be like to live with them while in the presence of Harry since he had avoided it in the past. Before getting ready for the day, Severus retrieved his wand and switched out his memories. In the event Harry wanted to see the them during the next two days, he would tell the boy to wait until the day after Christmas. He did not want to go through any part of this Christmas with his altered memories. And as much as he wanted to live with his real memories for the entire week, he wanted them readily available in the event Harry wanted to see them.

A half hour later, Severus was seated at the kitchen table sipping a cup of tea and reading through the Daily Prophet. He decided to wait another ten minutes before making breakfast. While he sat there waiting, he was amazed at how much his feelings about Harry changed the minute he switched out the memories. He knew his feelings were already changing, but now it was almost like he had been Harry's father since day one. He didn't have any negative emotions or thoughts of the boy at all. That was a first. He figured that part of it was because now he was willing and wanting to be Harry's father.

Harry slowly walked into the kitchen a half hour later. He spotted Severus at the stove dividing up scrambled eggs onto two plates. "Did you need any help professor?" He didn't really want to help, but figured the job, or any job, would keep his mind off his dreams and depressing thoughts. And since he was a visitor in the man's house, he felt it necessary to ask.

"No thank you, Mr. Potter." Even though he felt differently about Harry, he still found it a bit difficult to say the boy's first name. He turned around and placed the two plates on the table. "I'm…" He stopped abruptly when he spotted Harry standing there without his glasses on, a look of shock quickly making its presence on his face before it quickly returned to its neutral expression. There was no denying it now. Harry was definitely his son. "I'm done," Severus finally finished. "Go ahead and sit down and eat." He watched Harry sit down and took his place opposite the boy. "What happened to your glasses?"

"I didn't even notice that I didn't have them on," he replied, feeling his face and not finding his glasses. He didn't recall putting them on, but figured he did so when he woke up because everything was more in focus; he was still a bit groggy when he woke up. "Everything looks a little clearer without them, actually," he finally said. He had a feeling he knew why he didn't need them, but he didn't want to think about it.

Severus didn't respond for he knew the reason and he knew that Harry did too, somewhere deep down.

"Sir," Harry began after a few seconds, "Why don't you have a house elf? And why do you do everything the Muggle way?" The thought had been running through his mind since arriving at the house yesterday.

"In the past, there was no need for me to have a house elf. I rarely visited this house, preferring to spend my time at Hogwarts." Severus took a few sips of tea. "I felt that since we would only be here for a week, there was no need for a house elf now. However, we will have one beginning the summer holiday. And things are done the Muggle way because I feel that one must not rely solely on magic for everything every second of the day."

"But I thought…" Harry began, and then quickly shut his mouth. He didn't want to finish his sentence and get in an argument with the professor first thing in the morning. "Never mind."

Severus only looked at Harry in confusion, knowing he probably didn't want to know what the boy was going to say.

In the silence that followed while they finished eating, Harry's thoughts drifted to his dreams from last night.

After a few minutes, Severus looked over and noticed that Harry wasn't really eating. He was mostly pushing the food around his plate. "Is there something wrong with the food Mr. Potter?"

The question startled Harry out of his depressing thoughts. "I…no…I'm…I'm just not hungry is all."

"You didn't eat a whole lot at lunch or dinner yesterday either." Severus began to worry. "Are you ill?"

"I'm fine." Harry took a bite of eggs to prove his point. He did not want to discuss what was really wrong.

Severus nodded then studied Harry for a few minutes. "Mr. Potter, would you be amenable to accompanying me in acquiring a Christmas tree this afternoon?"

Harry shakily put down his glass of orange juice, which didn't go unnoticed by Severus. After his dream last night, the simple question from Severus was tearing him up inside. "Erm…I'm not…I don't know." Harry knew he should be somewhat excited. He never in his life got to participate in the tradition that families all over the world did of picking out a Christmas tree. But it was something he only wanted to do with his family. With Sirius, when he was finally found innocent.

"As you well know, Mr. Potter, a tree is required for Christmas." At Harry's hesitation, Severus looked to the boy in concern. If he correctly remembered all the memories he'd seen of Harry's Christmases during their Occlumency lessons, he thought Harry would have been thrilled with the idea of getting a Christmas tree. Something was obviously bothering the boy.

"I know, but…" Harry stopped and looked down to the table. "Do I have to?"

Severus would have said no that it didn't matter if he was accompanied, but this was something he really wanted. "Yes you do."

"Yes sir," Harry said dejectedly, and then left to his bedroom. He was supposed to begin working on his studies according to Severus' rules from last night.

Severus watched the boy leave then tried to continue reading the paper he placed off to the side while he was eating breakfast. However his thoughts were on Harry.

~SH~

An hour and a half before lunch, while taking a break from searching through the basement, Severus was in the kitchen and heard an owl tapping on the window. He opened the window and the owl flew in and landed on the kitchen table. He recognized the owl immediately and was wondering why the headmaster was contacting him. Thinking it was possibly about the wards being placed on the school, he quickly walked over to the owl to relieve its burden.

After removing the parchment and package from the owl, it quickly left through the open window. Severus closed it then returned to the table. As he grabbed the letter to open it, he realized it had Harry's name on it. He stood there for about thirty seconds debating whether or not to let Harry know about letter. He then set the letter down and walked up the stairs to the second floor hallway, stopping at the landing. "Mr. Potter, why don't you come down and take a break. There is also a package that was just delivered for you."

Severus returned to the kitchen to wait for Harry. Normally he could care less what the boy's friends sent him, but because this package came from the headmaster, and only a day after leaving the castle, he was a little curious. He poured Harry a glass of juice and set it on the table, then fixed himself with a cup of tea.

Harry wandered into the kitchen a few minutes later, surprised at being given a break and wondering who sent him a package. He sat down at the table and took a few sips of the juice that Severus put out. "Thanks for the juice sir." His eyes then he spotted the envelope and package. Like most teenagers, Harry went directly for the package and ignored the letter. He opened the package and just stared at its contents. A wand. Why did someone send him a wand? He already had one.

"What did you get?" Severus questioned from across the table. He couldn't understand why the headmaster would be sending something to Harry.

"A wand," he said, still looking at the wand. The more he looked at it, the more familiar it seemed.

"A wand?" Severus knitted his brow. That was an odd thing to be sent. "Why did the Headmaster send you a wand?"

"I don't know." Harry reached for the envelope and began reading the letter, his hands beginning to shake and his face turning pale the farther along in the letter he got.

He read through one paragraph before he dropped the letter on the table and bolted out of the kitchen and up to his bedroom. He closed the door behind him and walked over to the window. He stood there breathing erratically while looking outside, but not seeing anything.

As Harry ran out of the room Severus stood up and walked over to the wand and letter. He couldn't figure out what would make Harry react like that. He looked at the wand, and then picked up the letter.

Dear Harry,

I know it's a day early, but I thought you wouldn't want to wait for this gift. Earlier this morning, the Ministry of Magic released Sirius Black's wand to me along with the news of him being found innocent in the murder of all thirteen Muggles and of leading the Dark Lord to your parents. All charges that were brought against him fifteen years ago have been dropped. I wanted to give you the wand and the news as soon as possible. What a great Christmas present, my boy.

I know you are wondering how this has happened. Here is the reason. That day at the Ministry of Magic after all questions about Lord Voldemort's return were answered and after the Order finished the cleanup in the room with the veil, Remus Lupin found Sirius' wand at the bottom of the dais. Recognizing it as the same wand Sirius had while a student at Hogwarts, he immediately handed it over to me to present it to the Ministry's Department of Magical Law Enforcement for tests to prove of Sirius' innocence. I wanted to tell you earlier Harry, but I thought it best to wait until I was given the results.

Come tomorrow, all of the wizarding world will know of Sirius' innocence and how he so valiantly fought for the Light until his death at the hands of the Death Eaters.

I'm just sorry this news took so long to come.

Happy Christmas Harry.

Albus Dumbledore

Severus slammed the letter down on the kitchen table, irate. No wonder the boy ran off. "That bloody, no good, inconsiderate, insensitive old man," Severus snarled and began pacing the kitchen. "Doesn't that man have eyes? He should have clearly seen that Harry wasn't ready for this. Harry's constant mood changes should have been a definite sign that he wasn't ready. I can't wait to speak with Albus and give him a piece of my mind."

Getting his emotions under control, Severus hesitantly walked up to Harry's bedroom. He knew that's where he needed to be, though the boy would probably put up a fight. At the closed bedroom door, Severus knocked. "Mr. Potter, may I come in?" There was no answer. "Please," after a pause, "Harry?" his voice gentler than he ever used it towards Harry.

At first Harry did not want to acknowledge the man. He wanted to be left alone. But the gentleness of the voice and the use of his first name changed his mind. "Okay," he replied quietly.

Severus entered the room and stood a few feet behind Harry, watching him carefully. "I read the letter from the Headmaster, Mr. Po…Harry. Are you all right?"

Harry continued to face the window, still breathing erratically. He nodded his head yes, afraid to speak. The pain he felt from him dreams last night was nothing compared to what he felt now. This new feeling was almost unbearable. He couldn't believe how hollow and empty he was inside. It was taking all his strength and control not to break down.

Severus knew full well that Harry was not all right. The boy's body language told him all he needed to know. "Do you want to talk about it?" he asked quietly.

Harry shook his head no. "I don't feel like talking," he said shakily.

Severus remembered back to how he was when his mother died all those years ago. He acted exactly like Harry was acting right now. That everything was fine and nothing was wrong. But everything he said and did was completely opposite of what he actually felt and wanted. He wanted someone to care, someone to comfort him, someone to help him through his grief. That someone never came to him. But he could be that someone for Harry. He would be that someone. He didn't know how and knew it would be completely uncomfortable for him, but he knew he had to try. Harry needed it. He decided to go with what he remembered wanting all those years ago.

Severus took a few steps closer to Harry. "I think you do."

Harry shook his head again. "Go away."

"You don't have to go through this alone."

Harry slowly closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "Leave me alone."

"No Harry." Severus took a few steps closer.

"Please," Harry begged.

"No. I can't do that."

Harry opened his eyes, wrapped his arms around himself and lowered his head. He wasn't sure what he felt about Severus' statement. He stood that way for about a minute, and then spoke, his attitude completely changing. "I need to do my homework, and clean my room and bathroom." Harry moved from the window intent on going over to his desk, still not looking at Severus. "Yesterday you said…"

"Hiding and running away will not make the pain disappear," Severus interrupted. He reached out and gently turned Harry around, placing both hands on the boy's shoulders, and lowering himself so he was eye level with him. "It is not the answer Harry. All the grief you're feeling will continue to consume you until it is released."

"I'm fine," Harry reiterated sharply, looking the professor in his eyes. Seeing the concern in the eyes starting back at him, he began to feel a little uncomfortable. He shrugged out of Severus' grasp and sat down on the loveseat, his back to the man. He immediately wrapped his arms around himself and lowered his head to stare at the floor.

Severus looked at Harry and sighed. The boy's posture was a complete opposite of what he said. If Harry was fine, he wouldn't be sitting there with his arms wrapped around himself like he was trying to comfort himself.

As he sat there, Harry realized his control was beginning to slip, part of it because of the professor. He felt the tears building behind his eyes. He closed his eyes tight and bit his bottom lip to try to gain control. However, a few tears slipped out and he swiped them away.

Seeing the movement, Severus walked over and sat down next to Harry on the loveseat. "Harry…"

With his eyes still shut, Harry immediate stood up, arms still around him and walked back toward the desk.

Severus stood up as well and walked in front of Harry.

Feeling the man's presence in front of him, Harry opened his eyes and looked at him.

"You can ignore me all you want, but I am not leaving Harry."

Something about those words and the look in the man's eyes broke the last of Harry's control. He quickly dropped his head as tears started falling down his face.

Seeing Harry's tears was too much for Severus. He immediately took a few steps forward and wrapped his arms around Harry. It was extremely uncomfortable and awkward for him at first, but Harry needed it. And then he realized he needed it too.

Harry dropped his hands down to his sides and stood there stiff when the professor's arms wrapped around him, completely uncomfortable with the contact. A few seconds later, he began speaking very softly. "The wand...his wand. He's really gone now. He's never coming back." The minute he said the words, his breath started hitching and he started crying. It wasn't until he had seen the wand that he believed Sirius to really be dead. He knew that he was of course, but for some reason he also kept thinking it was a joke and his godfather was just away on Order business. It wasn't until he saw the wand, the one possession the man never went anywhere without, that it fully hit him.

When Harry started to cry, Severus tightened his hold and started rubbing Harry's back, trying to comfort him. He, however, didn't say a word.

As soon as Harry felt the comforting gesture, he buried his head in Severus' chest, wrapped his arms around the man, and continued to cry. He didn't care that it was the professor's arms he was wrapped in. All he cared about was the feeling he got from being held. "It hurts too much," Harry whispered sadly into Severus' chest.

Severus rested his chin on the top of Harry's head and continued rubbing his back. "I know it hurts Harry, but the pain will go away. I promise."

He knew the pain would never go away. Nothing that hurt this bad could ever disappear. "No…it…won't," he said between his sobs and hitching breaths.

"I thought so too Harry, but it will. You have to believe me." He hugged Harry a little tighter. "One day you'll be able to think of your godfather with a smile."

"No I won't. It will never go away. It hurts too much."

The emotions Severus felt at Harry's words completely overwhelmed him and tore at his heart. He did not like seeing Harry in this much pain. Severus closed his eyes, wishing he could take it all away from him. "It will, my son. One day, it will." Too caught up with what he was feeling, Severus was totally oblivious to how he just addressed Harry.

The two stood there for another five more minutes before Harry's crying slowly died down. When there were just hitching breaths, Severus unwrapped one of his arms from around Harry and took the boy's chin in his hand. He gently lifted Harry's face up and waited for the watery green eyes to meet his own. "Do you feel better?"

"A little," he said quietly as a few more tears sought escape down his cheeks.

Severus removed his hand from Harry's chin and wiped away the falling tears with his thumb. Then he wrapped his arms back around the boy.

Harry buried his head back into Severus' chest. Even though he still felt miserable, it did feel like a weight had been lifted off of him. He then got a warm feeling when he thought about the worry and pain etched all over Severus' face and in his eyes, though the man thought he was hiding what he was feeling, and the fact that he was here trying to make him, Harry, feel better. Someone did care about him, even it was the greasy git of the dungeons. "Thank you, sir," Harry whispered, slightly embarrassed at his emotional display.

"You're welcome." Severus placed his chin back on Harry's head and hugged him tighter. He released Harry a few seconds later.

As he reluctantly stepped back when Severus released him, Harry sniffled while running a hand under his nose.

Severus reached into his pocket, pulled out a handkerchief, and held it out in front of Harry. "Here."

"Thanks," Harry said quietly. He took the handkerchief, wiped his eyes and blew his nose.

"Why don't you go wash your face and lie down for a bit." Severus walked over to the door. "Don't worry about helping make lunch. I'll take care of it. When it's ready, I'll come get you. I know you're probably not hungry, but I'd like you to eat something."

"Okay." Harry headed to the bathroom. As he passed the professor, Severus placed a hand on his shoulder and gave it a squeeze. Harry stopped walking and faced the professor.

"It will get better Harry."

Harry nodded and a few tears fell from his eyes. "You're the first one to say those words to me. All of it actually. Thank you." He turned around and walked towards the bathroom.

After splashing water on his face, Harry went to his bed, glad he didn't make it up when he got up this morning. Completely exhausted, he immediately wormed his way under the covers. He then curled into a ball and promptly fell asleep.

Severus found himself down in the basement right after leaving Harry's room. He still needed to find the item he was looking for earlier and he needed to get a handle on his emotions. He actually wasn't all that surprised at Harry's breakdown, he was expecting it. What he wasn't expecting was his response to it. He never thought that seeing Harry in pain would make him hurt too. And he couldn't believe Harry's statement when he left the room; that not a single person had offered any of those words of comfort and support to him before. That was utterly unbelievable.

~SH~

Lunch, an hour and a half later, was a quiet affair for the two. Harry hardly said a word and never looked up from his plate. Severus just watched him in concern.

When Harry went to leave the kitchen after eating his lunch, Severus spoke up. "I think we should leave in a little while to go get the Christmas tree. Being Christmas Eve, there may not be much of a selection left and I'd like to get one before they're all gone."

"Okay," Harry replied quietly.

"I'll get you when it's time."

Harry nodded and went to go back up to his room. As he was leaving, he spotted the wand and letter on the kitchen counter. He grabbed them both and went up to his room.

When Harry got up to his room, he placed the wand and letter on the far night table and lay down on the bed with his eyes closed. He wasn't sure if he was ready to read the entire letter yet or not.

Ten minutes later, deciding it would be best to get it over with, Harry was sitting on the floor with his back against the bed facing the far wall with the wand and letter at his side. He picked up the wand and just held it in his hands for a few seconds. He then gently set it down and picked up the letter.

While reading, Harry felt the tears building behinds his eyes and tried to will them away. The feeling he got while reading all of the words in the letter was worse than what he felt that morning. When he was done reading, he didn't know whether to feel angry at the headmaster or sad at what could have been. But it really didn't matter. Sirius wasn't coming back one way or the other. He picked up the wand and threw that and the letter across the room. Then, not caring, he let the tears fall for the second time that day.

A few minutes later, Severus stood outside Harry's door. "Come along, Mr. Potter. It's time to go." After receiving no response, he walked into the room. He knew Harry was in there. He wasn't in any of the other rooms in the house. But when he walked into the bedroom, he didn't see Harry anywhere. Hearing a small sniff, Severus immediately went around to the far side of the bed, making sure he didn't step on the wand and letter he saw on the floor in front of the dresser.

The sight that met his eyes upon rounding the bed almost broke his heart. Harry was sitting against the bed curled into a ball, crying. His knees were pulled up to his chest, his arms were wrapped around his legs with his forehead laying on top his knees and tears were streaming down his face. His whole body was shaking. Severus slowly sat down next to him on the floor.
"Harry?"

The second Harry felt the professor sit down next to him and utter his name he did the only thing that came to his mind, the only thing he wanted at that moment. And he didn't care what the professor thought. He quickly uncurled himself and threw himself into the man's arms, wanting that warm feeling from earlier to come back; he didn't feel as empty with that warm feeling.

Severus was completely bewildered and didn't move at first. He honestly didn't expect that. But then he quickly put his arms around the shaking boy and began rubbing his back. "What's wrong?"

Harry continued to cry, but spoke between his sobs. "I hate him."

"Who?" Severus asked, knowing that Harry probably read the entire letter. It would explain why the letter and wand were on the floor like they had been thrown.

"The headmaster."

"Why do you hate the headmaster?" Severus asked the question even though he already knew the answer. He felt that having Harry talk about it would help him feel better.

Harry continued crying, his tears now seeping through Severus' shirt. "If he would have thought to do the tests on Sirius' wand all those years ago, I could have been living with my family now."

"You are living with your family."

Harry shook his head in Severus' chest. "They are not my family. Family cares about you and wants you around…loves you. People that hate you, want you invisible, and wish you died with your parents are not family." Harry's crying became harder and he burrowed his head farther into Severus' chest, not even realizing all he had just said.

Severus didn't know what to say to what Harry admitted. He knew the boy didn't know what he was saying. Instead of saying anything, he tightened his hold on Harry and began rocking the boy in his arms.

"If Sirius was found innocent all those years ago, I would have been living with him and maybe he'd still be alive. Maybe I would know what it's like to have a family. But I'm not living with him and I won't. Ever. I'm all alone again and now I'll never know what it's like to have a family."

Severus closed his eyes and took a few breaths. He had no idea this was how Harry felt. He doubted anyone else knew either. "Harry," he began slowly. "You are not alone. You have a lot people who care about you."

"It's not the same. They care about me only when something bad happens or if they have time to think about caring." Harry's mind immediately turned to Remus at that statement. "A family cares all the time, through good and bad. A family is there when you need them, not when it's convenient for them."

Severus thought about that for a few seconds. Based on the actions of all the people in the boy's life, no wonder he thought the way he did. "Harry, you do have a family. You have someone who will care about you unconditionally."

Harry shook his head no. He knew Severus was talking about himself, that Severus was his father. But as much as he wanted a father, he would not accept that. If he accepted it and it ended up as a joke, like he thought it was, he didn't want to end up hurt.

Severus decided to drop the subject. He knew Harry hadn't admitted that he was his father yet, and he wouldn't push it. He would let Harry work through it on his own. Right now he just needed to help Harry feel better about Sirius, as much as he hated the man.

"Harry, there would have been no guarantee that fifteen years ago you would have been able to live with Black. After your…parents…were killed," Severus had a hard time with the word parents now that he knew he was Harry's father, "the Order went looking for Black's wand to perform the test, but couldn't find it. And when he was taken to Azkaban, it wasn't found anywhere on him."

"But he could have told them where his wand was. He could have been free." Harry's crying intensified and he gripped the back of Severus' cloak. "I wouldn't have had to go through all I did at the hands of the Dursleys. I could have been living with Sirius."

Severus removed his arms from around Harry and held the boy's tear-stained face in his hands, making Harry look at him. "Harry, as much as you want to, you can't dwell on the 'what could have beens.' By doing so, you'll miss what's right in front of you."

Harry looked at Severus for a few seconds thinking about what he just said. Those words were reminiscent of the ones the headmaster had said to him back in his first year when he found the Mirror of Erised. He then put his head back down against Severus' chest.

Severus wrapped one arm around back around Harry, and put one hand on the back of the Harry's head and continued rocking while Harry cried.

Fifteen minutes later Harry was still on the floor in Severus' arms with his own arms still wrapped around Severus like the man was his lifeline. He had stopped crying and had fallen asleep about five minutes earlier. Severus would have loved to spend hours in that position, but being on the floor for that long of a time was starting to get to him. He really needed to stand up and stretch out his legs. He then started rubbing Harry's back to get him to wake up. "Harry, wake up. Why don't you lie on the bed?"

Harry slowly woke up and looked up at the professor through bleary eyes.

"Why don't you go lie down on your bed," Severus repeated. He then removed his arms from around Harry.

Harry kept his arms around Severus.

"You can stay here while I go get the Christmas tree. I shouldn't be gone long." After what Harry had just been through, there was no way he would make the boy go with him for the tree now.

"No!" Harry stated immediately, tightening his hold on the professor. He knew he was being childish, but for some reason, he really didn't want to be left alone; even it would only be for about an hour or so.

Severus looked down at Harry in confusion. He put an arm back around Harry and Harry immediately put his head back on his chest. "Okay, you can join me if you still want to."

Harry nodded then removed his arms from around Severus, returning to the position he was in when the potions master first came in the room.

Severus slowly stood up, joints cracking from being in one position so long, and looked down to Harry. The boy had yet to move. He raised an eyebrow then headed to the bathroom. He came back out a minute later with a wet washcloth and handed it to Harry. "Wipe your face, you'll feel better."

Without a word, Harry took the washcloth and wiped his face. He then stood up, placed the wet cloth on the bed and looked up to the professor, completely mortified about his behavior now and earlier. "I'm sorry," he said very quietly, his face turning red, "for being such a baby now and earlier today."

"There is nothing to be sorry for. It's okay to feel upset. Anyone would if they were in your situation." Severus took the washcloth from the bed and put it in the bathroom. When he reentered the bedroom, he went directly to Harry, put a hand on the boy's shoulder and led him out of the house to get the Christmas tree.

~SH~

Hours later Harry was sitting on the floor getting ready to put an ornament on the bottom of the tree when he looked over towards Severus. The man was sitting on the sofa trying to untangle a strand of garland, his brows furrowed. Harry sat there for a few minutes looking at the professor while playing with the ornament in his hand, a small smile forming on his face. Everything the man did today was totally out of character.

Getting the Christmas tree with potions master wasn't what he was expecting either. He was expecting to get to the lot, have the professor tell the attendant what size tree he wanted, pay for the tree while the attendant brought it up, and then head back to the house. He didn't expect that the minute they entered the lot Severus would lead him over to a stand selling hot chocolate and hot spiced apple cider, buy a drink for both of them, and wander the lot looking for the perfect tree while sipping their warm drink. He was actually surprised when the only tree Severus would get was the one that he, Harry, wanted, even though it took half an hour to find it. All of it was completely unexpected and surprisingly he really enjoyed it, even it he was in the company of the professor.

Harry was still staring at Severus when the man lifted his eyes and looked over to him. Harry quickly turned his attention to the ornament and hung it on the tree.

When Severus felt eyes on him, he looked up and before Harry turned away, he saw the small smile on the boy's face. After everything Harry had gone through that day, he was happy to see the smile. Glad he could make the boy a little happy, Severus stood up with the untangled garland and walked over to the tree. "Would you mind helping me string this on the tree, Mr. Potter?"

"Sure." Harry got up from the floor and helped string the garland on the tree.

"There's only one thing left," Severus stated while walking backwards from the tree. "Would you like a star on top or an angel? We have both." He bent over the last of the boxes he brought down from the attic earlier and pulled both out and set them on the table.

Harry walked over and took a look at both. The star was a glittery gold and was really pretty. But the second his eyes landed on the angel, he knew it's what he wanted. The angel was dressed in white, its wings were made of white netting with silver stitching at the ends. It had green eyes and red curly hair, and held a gold candle in its hands. "I'd like the angel professor," Harry said while picking it up and handing it to Severus.

Severus wouldn't take it. Instead he turned around, grabbed a step stool from the entry closet, and brought it over to the tree. "Go ahead and put it up."

Harry looked from Severus to the angel to the tree, then back to Severus. He couldn't be serious. Why would the professor want him to put up the topper? Wasn't it the most important part of decorating the tree? "Are you sure?" he asked him. At Severus' nod, Harry walked up the step stool and carefully placed the angel on the top. "Thank you for letting me come with you to get the tree and for letting me help you decorate it, sir," he said a little sadly as he got off the stool and put it away. He finally got to pick out and decorate a Christmas tree, but it reminded him too much of his dream from that morning, his dream of doing the same exact thing for the first time ever…with Sirius.

"You're welcome." Severus watched Harry sit down on the sofa and stare at the tree looking miserable. Knowing what Harry was feeling, he walked over and sat down on the table in front of him and waited for Harry to look at him. "I know you feel sad, Harry. I know you wanted to do this with your godfather instead of me. It's okay."

Harry looked from the tree to the potions master, feeling a little uncomfortable with having these types of conversations with the professor. This was the third one today. It wasn't normal. But after a few seconds, he finally responded to Severus' statement. "No, it's not okay." Harry wasn't sure why, but he wanted to give the professor an explanation. "I know you're mad at me. I'm being disrespectful to you."

"You are not being disrespectful and you are not hurting my feelings by being sad. I don't like seeing you like this, but I am not mad at you. I understand what you're going through."

Harry shook his head and looked back at the tree. This was the second time the professor said those words to him since that morning. "No you don't."

"I do." Severus was an extremely private man and didn't plan on divulging anything of his past to the boy yet, but at this juncture, he felt it was absolutely necessary as awkward as it would be. He moved from the table and sat down next to Harry on the sofa. "When I was a year younger than you, I lost my mother a few months before Christmas."

Harry quickly looked over to the professor. He couldn't believe the man was telling him something about his past. It was completely unheard of. "I'm sorry. I, I didn't know."

"Of course you wouldn't know," Severus stated in a slightly condescending tone. He paused before speaking again. "That first Christmas without my mother was one of the worst holidays I ever had. What I'm trying to say is I know exactly what you are feeling and what you're going through. I don't want you to feel that you're being disrespectful, but I also don't want you to feel guilty."

"Guilty?" Harry wasn't sure what he meant by that.

Severus nodded. "Did you have a good time picking out the tree this afternoon?"

"I don't think I…erm…I guess I…" Harry started. Then he finally admitted the truth. "Yes. I did have a good time."

"Now, do you feel bad because you had a good time?"

Harry nodded yes and looked down to his lap.

"That's guilt. You think you shouldn't feel happy in a situation that you wanted to experience with your godfather. Harry will you please look at me?" Severus waited until Harry raised his head and met his eyes. "You have no reason to feel guilty. Do you honestly think that your godfather would want you to miss out on this and many other things just because he's not around?"

"No, but…"

"No. He wouldn't. You have every right to feel sad, mad or anything else. But just don't feel guilty when you're enjoying yourself. You deserve to feel happy."

He guessed that what the professor was saying was true. It did make sense. He just knew it would be hard to remember. "Okay."

Severus gave Harry a small smile, though luckily the boy was looking the other direction. "Good." He then stood up. "Now, how about some dinner?"

~SH~

Late that night after dinner and after Harry went up to bed, luckily with no more tears, Severus returned to the basement. After searching for another half hour, he finally found the item he had been looking for. The perfect Christmas present for Harry.

~SH~

When Harry walked in to the living room after breakfast Christmas morning, he spotted about a dozen or so presents under the Christmas tree. He figured that the professor intercepted Hedwig with his usual three or four gifts from the Weasleys and Hermione and placed them under the tree. The rest, he presumed, were for Severus. He sat down on the sofa and took a few sips of his hot chocolate before placing the mug on the coffee table in front of him.

Severus followed Harry in with a cup of coffee in his hands. "You don't want to open your presents?" he asked as he sat down next to Harry on the sofa. "I thought kids all over the world jumped at the chance to open presents."

Harry just shrugged. Christmas was really no big deal to him. It mostly just made him realize what was missing in his life by not having parents.

Seeing Harry still sitting on the sofa, Severus figured he'd have to take the lead. He got up from the sofa and knelt down on the floor in front of the tree and grabbed a few presents for Harry. With presents in hand, he walked back to the coffee table and set them down. He made the trip until almost all the presents were out from under the tree and deposited on the coffee table in two piles. One, in front of Harry, had nine presents and the other, in front of Severus' coffee mug, had two.

"Go ahead and open them," Severus stated as he sat down next to Harry.

A half hour later, Harry had opened presents from Ron, Hermione, Ginny, Mrs. and Mr. Weasley, Fred and George, Remus, Luna, and Neville. Severus had opened presents from the Headmaster and Professor Trelawney, a present he would throw away later that night. It seemed every year she gave all the professors on staff a gift. The same gift every year.

Seeing Harry was done with his presents, Severus got up and went back to the tree. He knelt in front of it and pulled one last gift from the back, placed there when he thought Harry would be digging under the tree for presents. He walked with it and sat down next to Harry on the sofa. "I wanted you to open this last. It is my Christmas gift to you," he stated as he handed the wrapped gift to Harry. "It meant a lot to me when I received it, but I know it will mean more to you."

"Thanks," Harry said warily as he took the present, not sure why the professor would be giving him a gift. He slowly unwrapped it, opened the box and pulled out what looked like a large journal. He opened the cover and read the inscription written on the first page.

Happy Birthday Sev,

I know it's getting harder for us to see each other on summer breaks and at school and I know how hard it has been on you. I thought this gift would help. Included in this album are photos my parents, friends, and even I took of the two of us since the year we met. I know I'm alone in quite a few of them, but I thought you'd like them all. I made one for myself as well.

With All My Love,

Lily

Harry flipped through a few of the pages. Some pictures, he noticed were taken by a Muggle, while others were obviously taken by a wizard. The one he was currently looking at had a very young Lily swinging on a swing laughing, her red hair blowing in the breeze. A young black-haired boy, probably Severus Harry noted, was standing behind Lily pushing her on the swing. Harry stared at his mother in the photo for a few seconds before he closed the book and looked up to the professor with eyes filled with unshed tears. "Thank you," he said quietly. He never expected to ever get a gift like this. It meant so much to him that he knew he couldn't even begin to express to the professor just how much it meant. "Thank you so much."

"You're welcome." A small smile formed on Severus' face. "Merry Christmas, Harry."

Surprised at the smile on the professor's face, a sight he couldn't ever remember seeing, Harry just stared for a few seconds before finding his voice. "Mer…merry Christmas, professor."

~SH~

After dinner that night, Harry brought all his gifts up to his room and placed them on the love seat. He brought the photo album over to the bed with him. He spent the next hour and a half sitting against the headboard slowly looking at all the photos of his mother growing up, trying to memorize every look she gave the camera. He tried to ignore the photos of Severus, but had a hard time with it.

Deciding it was time to get ready for bed a while later, Harry went into the bathroom to brush his teeth. After he put toothpaste on his toothbrush, he looked into the mirror. The minute he saw his reflection in the mirror, his eyes went wide and the toothbrush clattered to the sink below. He knew that his face was changing, his whole body actually, but he didn't realize what his face was changing in to. He had avoided looking at himself in the mirror as much as he could. In fact, he hadn't looked in a mirror for the past four days.

Now, as he stared at his face, he saw what he had been trying to deny for days. He was Severus' son. There was no denying what he saw in the mirror. He looked like the boy he was seeing in the photo album. But he wasn't so sure he wanted to accept it. Besides there was still a chance that it was a joke being played by the potions master and this change was due to some type of charm or potion that was placed on him by the man.

Harry quickly brushed his teeth and went to bed thinking all that over.

Way past midnight, Severus decided to check on Harry on his way to bed. The boy had been unusually quiet all day and this would be the last night he'd be living with his real memories for a while. He quietly opened Harry's door, not wanting to wake him up, but the door creaked on its hinges when it was opened.

At the sound of the door opening, Harry woke up. He had just gotten to sleep about fifteen minutes earlier, after tossing and turning for hours, so he wasn't sound asleep.

Severus stepped into the room. Harry was curled up on his side facing the door, his hands under his cheeks. Seeing the blankets tangled around his ankles, Severus walked up to Harry's bed.

Harry's body stiffened slightly at the sound of the professor walking towards him. He tried to relax and quickly closed his eyes and feigned sleep.

Severus untangled the blankets and gently recovered Harry, almost to the point of tucking him in. Then, with a shaky hand, he brushed Harry's fringe away from his forehead. Harry, surprisingly, didn't flinch at the touch. Severus stood there staring at the scar for a few seconds; the first time he really ever got a look at it. Then he started running his hand through Harry's messy hair. "I wish you believed the letter…and me, and wanted to see my memories. I know you're not ready to believe it, and as much as I want this relationship, I'll wait no matter how long it takes." He ran his hand through Harry's hair a few more times. "Good night Harry." He then left for his own bedroom to change out his memories and to go to sleep. He just hoped that everything that happened these past two days would have a positive effect on what would happen in the future with his altered memories.

After Harry heard the door close, he opened his eyes and rolled over on to his back and stared at the ceiling. That was the first time that he could remember anyone doing what Severus just did…tucking him in, or at least adjusting the blankets over him, and running a hand through his hair. It was something he witnessed Ron's parents doing to Ron on the few occasions he stayed at the Weasley's house. And then what the professor said?

That act and acknowledgment, plus when the man comforted him both times he ended up crying, the whole Christmas tree thing, and giving him the photo album, which he, Severus, had received as a gift were signs that the man was not playing a joke on him. But that meant…that meant "Severus Snape is really my father," he admitted quietly to his empty room. Though he wasn't sure if he wanted to believe it or not. If he did believe it and began to feel everything associated with it, he knew he would be devastated if it all turned out to be the joke he thought it was. However, the memory of the feeling he got when the professor was trying to comfort him made a lot of his doubt leave. In the end, he decided, time would tell.