“I assume this Order meeting is over Professor Dumbledore?” Molly Weasley asked, as Dumbledore returned to his seat at the long table in the kitchen of 12 Grimmauld Place.
With the absence of Voldemort’s attack on Hogwarts that was to have occurred near the beginning of the year, standing Order meetings had been called for the first Saturday of every month. The meetings were usually held in the evenings, but as they continued to run later and later into the night, it was decided that late morning would be a better time. As such, this crisp Saturday in March was the first meeting they had during daylight hours.
“It is Molly,” Albus answered.
Molly nodded as she stood up and went over to the stove to make sure the lunch she had prepared was ready for those members sticking around for the meal.
Albus looked around the table of Order members, some still sitting and others stretching their legs getting ready to leave. His gaze landed on Severus who was still sitting and organizing some papers in front of him. He narrowed his eyes and concentrated on the man seated at the other side of the table. He had noticed something different about his potions master the last few weeks, but nothing as dramatic as what he witnessed in today’s meeting.
Over the past few weeks, the man seemed preoccupied at times, more so than usual. He didn’t seem as harsh in staff meetings and didn’t voluntarily bring up Harry Potter as his usual. And it didn’t pass his notice that his potions master’s attention was more focused on Harry at meal times. Severus had even asked for time off last week. Albus, for the life of him, couldn’t remember a single time his potions master requested time off in his entire teaching career. It was odd to say the least, especially for Severus to request the same day off when Harry was not in classes. It had to be more than a mere coincidence.
Added to all that, Severus had not said one derogatory thing about Harry during the meeting. In fact, he actually seemed concerned about Harry’s role in everything that was brought up, and voiced his opinion quite loudly more than once, to the confusion of the other Order members.
Intent upon getting to the bottom of Severus’ transformation, Albus walked around the table and stood off to the side of Severus. “Severus, would you please join me in the drawing room for a private discussion?”
Severus stopped organizing his papers and looked up to Albus. The determined look in the man’s eyes did not bode well. He set the papers back down on the table and took his time following the headmaster to the drawing room.
Pulling his wand out after they entered, Albus secured the door and placed a silencing charm on the room. Severus raised an eyebrow, but didn’t say anything. After Albus took a seat in the arm chair, Severus went to the writing desk and pulled out that chair, as it was the only remaining chair in the room, and sat down to face the headmaster.
“Severus, I know you’re going to fight with me on this, but I need to know what’s going on.”
“I do not know what you mean Albus,” Severus answered shortly, arms crossed over his chest. The headmaster’s vagueness sometimes infuriated him. He was getting fed up with the mind games the man always seemed to play.
“Do not play dumb with me, my boy. You know perfectly well what I’m asking.”
Severus didn’t respond either way to the headmaster’s comment. He just let the man continue as he knew he would.
“If I didn’t know better, after your comments earlier today, I’d say you are concerned for Mr. Potter.”
“I am not…” Severus began, only to be interrupted by Albus.
“Your normal vitriol when speaking about Mr. Potter did not make an appearance today. I have also noticed the same at staff meetings as well at various other items. What is with the change?”
After a few moments, Severus stood up and began pacing behind the writing desk, hands clasped behind his back. “Did you or did you not, Albus, request repeatedly that I try to put a stop to my behavior and mocking with regards to Harry?” He raised an eyebrow and turned to Albus. “I am only doing as you requested.” He then continued his pacing.
Albus picked up right away how Severus addressed the boy. The man had never spoken his first name. “Harry, Severus?”
Abruptly turning around, Severus met Albus’ twinkling eyes. “I…”
“Severus,” Albus began quietly, “Please tell me what is going on.”
As much as he didn’t want the headmaster to know about his relationship with Harry, he knew he would no longer be able to hide it. He pinched the bridge of his nose and placed his hands on the back of the chair he had been sitting in moments ago. His gaze was on the chair. “Harry is my son.”
“Severus, quit joking,” Albus stated seriously.
“Am I one to joke, Albus?” Severus replied, astounded.
Albus leveled his gaze at Severus. He knew joking was not a thing the man did. But he couldn’t just believe that Harry was the man’s son. “What happened? How long have you known?”
Severus took a deep breath and sunk down into the chair. “It was revealed to me on Halloween last year,” he began. He then spent the next twenty minutes recalling the letter and everything that happened since that fateful day.
Not saying a word the entire time, but his face darkening a little, Albus listened to the entire story.
“Do you have any problems with mine and Harry’s new relationship?” Severus asked, when Albus continued to stay quiet long after he was done explaining. It definitely wasn’t a good sign. He wouldn’t admit it, but he was terrified of his mentor’s answer.
Giving a sigh, Albus stood up. “I am not happy about it, no. It is honestly the worst thing that could have ever been revealed, especially considering Voldemort is back.” He paced the length of the room twice and stopped in front of Severus. “Severus, I do not want you to continue pursuing that type of relationship with Harry.”
Severus was outraged. He wanted to jump up and start yelling at the man, but instead he took a few breaths, and began speaking in a quiet but deadly voice. “You cannot tell me to ignore my son, Albus. I will honor my duty as his father. If you think…”
“Do you know what would happen if word got to the Death Eater’s Severus? All my work in preparing Harry would be for nothing,” Albus interrupted, sitting on the edge of the desk. “You cannot pursue it. Harry is the only one who can defeat Tom Riddle, and I will not risk it.”
Severus saw red. “Preparing Harry? Only one who can defeat…? He is nothing more than a pawn to you,” Severus realized, his voice turning cold. He narrowed his eyes at Albus. “Albus, it is not on the shoulders of a sixteen year old child to defeat the Dark Lord. That is what the Order is for.” He shook his head while standing up and turned around, his back facing Albus. “I’ve been so blinded by my hatred of Harry these past years that I did not pick up on your true intentions for the boy. How could I have been so blind?” he whispered mostly to himself.
Albus ignored Severus’ outburst. “You cannot pursue this. If word got out to Tom’s followers…”
“I know what would happen, old man,” he spat, turning back around. Did the headmaster honestly believe he was that naïve? “I am not one of your dunderheaded students. Harry and I have already discussed everything at length.”
“Severus, I still don’t think…”
“No, Albus, you don’t think. That is the problem. You never think of the effects your decisions have on the people involved. You only think of the end result. I have been faithfully following your orders for over fifteen years, Albus, but as of this moment, I am done. Harry is my son and I will continue to pursue that relationship with him. You cannot stop me.” Severus strode to the door and released the charms Albus put on the room, needing to get away from the headmaster.
Dashing into the kitchen, Severus grabbed the papers he had been organizing and left headquarters. He was seething. He couldn’t believe the gall the headmaster had; wanting him to deny being Harry’s father. It was outrageous.
Once outside, he took a few deep breaths to calm himself while walking to the park to apparate.
After apparating to Hogwarts, Severus was finally calm. He took in his surroundings as he walked through the grounds up to the castle, all the while thinking about Harry. Not that he was the type of person to even notice or care; but it seemed to be a very nice day. Which would mean it would probably be a nice week as well. He began to smile somewhat mischievously. It would be a perfect week to instate Harry’s punishment.
~SH~
Harry was in the Great Hall with Ron and Hermione working on their Potions homework late Sunday morning. Hermione had been insistent that they finish their homework early so they would have the rest of the day to do as they pleased. Ron and Harry agreed as it was perfect flying weather and there was talk in Gryffindor tower earlier about an impromptu Quidditch game against Ravenclaw later that day.
The three looked up as they heard an owl swoop into the room. They watched it as it flew towards them and landed in front of Harry. Surprise etched their faces as mail delivery was still a few hours away, and they had never seen an owl like the one in front of them. It was definitely not a school owl or a normal post owl. The owl looked at Harry, hooted, and dropped a piece of parchment on his homework. Before Harry could take a good look at the owl, it took flight and left the Great Hall.
“I wonder whose owl that was,” Hermione commented as she watched the owl fly out of the room. Not waiting for an answer, she returned to her homework, ignoring Harry and Ron.
“Don’t know,” Harry responded, picking up the folded piece of parchment that had his name written in a familiar scrawl. He unfolded the parchment, covering his name in the event Ron or Hermione recognized the writing, and read the short note inside.
Please come down to our quarters at 3pm this afternoon. Bring your broom.
Swallowing and giving a huff in annoyance, Harry crumpled the note up and put it in is book bag. He didn’t even need to think about why his father wanted to see him. The last three words said everything.
“What is it mate?” Ron asked, after seeing Harry’s reaction to the note.
“Er…nothing. Just…” He paused, needing to come up with an excuse. He looked to the staff table for inspiration. “Just that Professor Lupin wants to see me this afternoon.”
“But why would you be angry with having to meet Lupin. He’s a good professor, almost a friend. What did…”
“Ron,” Harry said shortly, interrupting the redhead. “Leave it all right?”
Ron fiddled with his quill for a moment. “But what about the Quidditch game this afternoon?” he suddenly asked.
Harry shrugged his shoulders. “I guess I won’t be going.”
“Can’t you just tell Professor Lupin that you need to reschedule? It’s perfect flying weather.”
“That’s not a good idea.” Harry glanced to Hermione, surprised she hadn’t given her opinion. Though she would probably, for once, agree with him.
Ron thought it over for a few seconds and nodded, agreeing. Even though the professor seemed more like a friend at times, he was still a teacher and students just didn’t ask to reschedule meetings with them. He looked at Harry a few moments later, his ears beginning to turn red. “Could I borrow your broom then since you can’t use it?”
Harry shook his head. “No,” he answered quietly. He wasn’t sure how to get out of this predicament.
“But Harry,” Ron cried, “when you got it, you mentioned I could ride it. This would be the perfect time.”
“No Ron.”
Ron huffed. “Well, at least come by after your meeting. I’m sure it won’t take all day. Then I can ride your broom.”
“Ron!” Harry yelled.
“But you said…” Ron began angrily.
“Stop all right? I’m not going to let you ride it.” He quickly grabbed his homework and shoved everything in his book bag. “I’ve got to go.”
Ron watched Harry walk out the Great Hall in confusion. He really wished he knew what was going on with his friend.
~SH~
“You’re here early,” Severus stated upon opening the door to his quarters and seeing Harry standing on the other side.
“Yeah, I know,” he responded sheepishly. “Um…is it okay for me to be here?”
“Harry, how many times do I need to tell you? You’re always welcome. It’s your home as well as mine while we’re at Hogwarts.” He moved aside to let Harry enter, noticing a small smile on the boy’s face.
Once inside with the door closed behind him, Harry turned around to face Severus and held out his broom.
Severus raised an eyebrow. “You still have a few hours. Are you sure you don’t want to go flying until then?”
Harry shook his head. “No, you can take it,” he responded quietly.
Severus took the broom and set it against the wall by the door, intent on putting it away a bit later. Turning back around, he narrowed his eyes and studied Harry, who was surprisingly still standing in the living room staring at his broom, but not really seeing it. “What is going on?”
At the question, Harry focused his gaze on Severus and shrugged his shoulders in response.
“Does it have anything to do with Weasley and Granger?” At Harry’s second shrug, Severus placed a hand on Harry’s neck and steered him to the sofa.
Harry sat down, placed his elbows on his thighs, hands clasped at his knees, and stared at the fireplace. Severus sat down next to him and put an arm on the back of the sofa.
“They keep bugging me,” Harry said after a minute and looked to Severus. “If they ask me questions and I don’t want to answer, I tell them I don’t want to answer. But they still push me. Like today. Because I had to come here and give you my broom, I couldn’t play in the Quidditch game with Ravenclaw.” He stopped, horrified at what he just said. “I don’t mean to make it sound like it’s your fault,” he quickly added. “It’s not. It’s because of my punishment. I know that. It’s just an example, I…”
“I know what you are trying to say, Harry.” Severus smirked. It was obvious Harry still was trying to get used to this new type of relationship. “Relax.”
Harry nodded and began with his explanation again, though he wasn’t able to look Severus in the eyes anymore. “Well, Ron asked me why I couldn’t play and I had to make up an excuse since I couldn’t tell him the truth. Then he kept getting on me about it and asking more questions. I told him stop asking, but he got mad.”
“I told Ron and Hermione a few weeks ago that there are things that I’m not able to tell them right now and if I ask for them to stop asking me questions, then they should drop it. I’ve gotten mad at them a few times and yelled a lot. I keep apologizing, but they just won’t stop.”
Severus sighed. “Harry, you should not be the one apologizing. You’re friends are in the wrong, not you. As you have said, you told them there are things you just can’t discuss right now. They should respect your wishes and leave the subject alone.”
“But I should apologize. I’m the one who...”
“I can see this is the result of the Dursley’s ‘care’,” Severus interrupted. “Harry, you are not responsible for your friends’ actions. If you’ve told them to stop asking questions, they should stop. If their constant badgering requires you to get mad at them, then that is their problem. They brought it on themselves. You are not the one who should be apologizing.”
Harry gave a hesitant nod. He believed his father whole-heartedly but still couldn’t rid himself of the Dursley’s teachings that he was always at fault. “Okay.”
“Good. I’m glad you understand.” Severus stood up and walked to the kitchen. “I’m working on some research at the kitchen table if you want to join me.” He noticed Harry had his book bag with him besides his broom. “You can complete some of your homework since you supposedly can’t join in the Quidditch game for whatever reason you gave your friends.”
~SH~
“Professor Lupin, what are you doing here?” Ron asked upon seeing the Defense teacher walk onto the Quidditch pitch early Sunday afternoon.
“As you know, Mr. Weasley, students are required to have a professor present for any Quidditch game whether it is formal or informal.”
Ron’s ears began to turn red. “I know that professor. I just meant…I thought you wanted to meet with Harry this afternoon. That’s why Harry’s couldn’t play.”
Remus looked at Ron in confusion. “I didn’t ask to meet with him.”
“But, you sent him a note earlier this morning. Harry said…”
“You must have misunderstood Harry,” Remus interrupted.
“Yeah,” Ron replied, and turned around to join the rest of his team. He didn’t feel like arguing with the Defense teacher, but he knew that he in no way misunderstood Harry. What was going on with his friend? He was now determined to get to the bottom of it before the day ended.
~SH~
Harry had just returned the serving spoon back to the large bowl of buttered green beans when Ron sat down heavily next to him at dinner Sunday night.
“I’m sick of your lying Harry,” Ron stated angrily, turning towards Harry on the bench.
“I don’t know what you…”
“You’re lying again,” Ron interrupted.
Harry gulped. “I…”
“I know you weren’t with Professor Lupin this afternoon. He was supervising our Quidditch game.”
Harry looked at Ron’s angry face and was going to apologize for lying when he remembered his conversation with his father earlier in the day. “So what if I was lying? You don’t have to know what I’m doing every hour of every day.” Harry knew the tone of voice he used wasn’t called for, but he just couldn’t help it. Ron made him so mad lately.
“What is going on with you?”
“Don’t like it when you don’t know everything huh? When things are kept from you and you are left in the dark?” Harry said shortly, almost at the point of yelling. “Now you know how I felt the summer before fifth year.” Harry turned his attention back to his dinner plate, not sure why he brought that up. He began cutting up his chicken.
“Harry…”
Annoyed with Ron, Harry dropped his fork on his plate, the loud sound echoing in the hall, and turned towards him. “Why do you have to know everything that goes on with me? You and Hermione are not my keepers. Drop it Ron, all right?”
“Fine!” Ron replied, still angry with Harry.
Ignoring Ron’s silent fuming, Harry went back to eating his dinner. He spoke up a few minutes later, his voice a lot quieter. “If you and Hermione are truly my friends, Ron, you both wouldn’t question everything I say or do. You two would believe what I say and realize there has to be a good reason behind it.”
Ron didn’t respond and the two finished their meal in silence, only acknowledging Hermione when she appeared for the meal a bit later.
The bushy-haired Gryffindor could tell something was up so she decided to keep quiet. She knew Ron was going to confront Harry at dinner so that was why she came to the evening meal late. The conversation obviously didn’t go well.
~SH~
“Ron and I had a long talk, Harry.” Hermione sat down next to Harry on the sofa in front of the fire in the Gryffindor common room a few hours after dinner Sunday night. Harry, who had been reading a book he took from Severus’ library, closed the book as Ron sat down on the other side of him.
“I told Hermione about our conversation at dinner,” Ron added, to clarify what Hermione was referring to.
“We’re sorry,” Hermione stated, her voice shaking slightly. “We should have been more considerate. I know you would have a good reason for doing and saying the things you were. You’re not the type of person who goes around lying all the time. And you’re right; Ron and I are not your keepers. We will stop trying to push you for answers.”
Ron spoke up. “I hope you’ll forgive us.”
Harry stared into the fire a few moments before responding. “I want to believe you, but…”
“Our actions these past few weeks haven’t led you to believe that you can.” Hermione completed Harry’s statement quietly. “I’m sorry.”
“I’m sorry as well.” Ron’s ears began to turn slightly pink. “I don’t like us being angry at each other all the time. I want to go back to the friendship we had before all this happened, Harry.”
“Me too,” Harry responded quietly. Not really wanting to talk anymore, he opened the book he had in his lap to continue reading.
Hermione left Harry to his thoughts, pulling out some homework from her book bag on the floor, but Ron spoke up again after remembering that afternoon. “Harry, after our game this afternoon, some of us went to McGonagall. She gave us permission to have a short Quidditch game a few times during the week. At least you can now get in a game or two since you couldn’t participate today.”
“Thanks Ron, but I’m going to pass.”
“Why? Are you…” Ron stopped speaking the moment he realized what he was doing. “Sorry mate. It’s going to take some getting used to.” He looked at the fire and then back to Harry. “How about a game of wizards chess?” he asked, trying to get back to their normal friendship. “It’s been a while.”
“Sure.” Harry gave Ron a small smile and the boy got up to get his chess set. While Ron was gone, he looked over to Hermione. She was thoroughly engrossed in one of her textbooks.
Ron came back down a few minutes later and the two moved over to one of the vacant tables to play. They played until they were shooed off to bed by Hermione about two hours later.
~SH~
“We will be practicing shield charms during our next class,” Remus stated standing at the front of his sixth year Gryffindor and Hufflepuff Defense class Thursday morning. “Please read Chapter 24 in your texts before then. Class dismissed. Harry,” he called out over the chatter of the leaving students. “Would you mind staying behind please?”
Harry finished putting his items away in his book bag and looked to Ron and Hermione who were waiting for him in the aisle. “Go ahead guys. I’ll catch up with you later.”
The three of them had been getting along better since their talk Sunday evening and were spending more time together. And true to their word, Ron and Hermione hadn’t pushed him on any subject he didn’t want to answer. They didn’t even bring up the fact that he hadn’t played one game of Quidditch so far that week.
“Have a seat,” Remus stated, pulling out one of the chairs at the front of the classroom.
Feeling slightly nervous, as he had no idea why Remus would need to speak with him, Harry quickly walked to the front of the classroom and took the offered chair.
Remus sat on the desk and studied Harry, arms crossed over his chest. “I have a proposition for you,” he finally said a minute later. “You see, some of my younger years, as well as the older years, are struggling a bit in Defense. A few mentioned the DA you coordinated and led last year.”
Harry didn’t respond but gave a slight nod. He couldn’t tell what the man was up to.
“A few who were in it last year mentioned how well you taught even with the different ages and levels.” Remus smiled. “Harry, would you like to continue? It won’t be the DA, of course, but I thought it would be an excellent idea to have a defense club, or study group as it were. I am capable of teaching it, but I really think it would be an excellent opportunity for you. I know there are only a few more months left until the summer holiday, but would you would be interested?”
“Of course I would, professor,” Harry responded, a huge smile on his face. He actually enjoyed teaching the DA last year.
“I would, of course, supervise all your meetings and give you help when and where you needed it, but you would run the entire thing. I really do think you would excel at teaching. I can see the difference in my classes with the students who were in the DA and those who were not.”
Harry’s face turned slightly pink at Remus’ compliments. “Thank you.”
Remus looked at the clock on the side wall. “I’d love to talk more about this with you, but I don’t want to keep you from lunch.” He stood up and Harry followed suit. “Why don’t you stop by my office this afternoon around 4:00 and we’ll talk more about it.”
“Thanks professor.” He placed his book bag over his shoulder. With one last smile at Remus, Harry left the classroom and headed to Gryffindor tower to drop off his book bag.
A few hours later after classes were over, Harry was sitting at one of the tables in the common room working on homework with Hermione while Ron was playing Exploding Snap with Neville. About a quarter to four, he began putting all his work back in his bag.
Putting a finger on the sentence she was reading in her Herbology text, Hermione looked up to Harry. “Are you done already?” she asked surprised. She didn’t think there was any way Harry could be done with his homework before she was.
“No,” he answered, standing up. “I’ve got to meet Professor Lupin in his office at 4 o’clock. I’ll finish when I come back.”
Hermione wanted to ask why he was meeting with the Defense professor, but knew she’d better not. She bit her lip. “Well, if you want, you can go ahead and just leave your bag here. If you don’t come back before dinner, I’ll have Ron bring it up to your bed.”
Harry set his book bag back on the table. “Thanks Hermione. I appreciate it.” He then left out the portrait hole and walked down to Remus’ office. As he got closer, he began to feel slightly guilty about not asking Professor Lupin if his friends could join as well. But the more he thought about it, the more he realized he wanted this for himself. He needed to prove to himself that he was able to do it. He wasn’t too sure how much of the DA’s success was him and how much was his friends.
Before he even knew it, he was standing in front of the Defense professor’s office. He raised a hand and knocked on the wooden door.
“Come on in, Harry,” Remus greeted upon opening the door. “I’ve got some tea, or if you’d prefer hot chocolate, I can get you some.”
“No thanks Professor,” Harry stated as he sat down at one of the chairs in front of Remus’ desk. “Tea is fine. Thanks.”
Remus held out a cup for Harry. “As I mentioned after class today, Harry, I would like to set up a Defense study group. It is late in the school year for it, but I do think it will have a positive effect on everyone who wants to join. After the school year is over, I will determine if it would be beneficial to continue with the group next year as well.”
“I think having the group, even for a few months, is good,” Harry commented. “It’s just too bad no one thought of it sooner.”
“I agree.” Remus took a sip of his tea and set the cup down in front of him on the desk. “I had wanted to offer this to all seven years, but I’m not too sure. I’m thinking maybe just the first four years.”
Harry thought about that for a minute. “If you don’t mind my saying, professor, I think that would be a little unfair. It’s true that the older years should already know all the spells for their year, but I think it would be a great environment for them to practice. Besides, if you hadn’t asked me about the possibility of teaching it, I’d be a little upset that I wasn’t included in joining.”
“You do have a point. However I just don’t think it plausible for you to teach the sixth and seventh years.” Remus ran a hand through his hair. “I guess it could be split into two groups. You can take the younger, say the first four years, and I’ll take the older.”
“That would work.” Harry agreed. He honestly didn’t see how he could handle teaching all seven years, even if he knew all the material.
“I was thinking I’d give you free reign over the group. You would be the one to come up with each week’s topic and lesson. I will of course assist you if you need me.”
“Really?” He couldn’t believe he’d even get control over what was taught. “I guess I’ll have to put some time aside to plan everything. But it will be fun.”
Remus gave Harry a smile. “It’s so good to see that you really want to do this. As I said earlier, it is an excellent opportunity for you.”
Harry took a sip of his tea and held the cup in his lap. “I think so too. But I do have one concern.”
“What is that?” Remus asked.
“Well, with all my homework and Occlumency lessons with my dad, I don’t want to stretch myself too thin.”
“Boy have you grown, Harry.”
Harry knitted his brow in confusion as he looked at Remus.
Remus explained. “The Harry of a year or so ago wouldn’t have cared if something like this had an effect on anything else. He would have just gone ahead with it. You are definitely turning into a responsible adult.”
Slightly embarrassed, Harry ducked his head.
“Would once a week for a maximum of two hours work for you?” Remus asked. “I think that would give the students enough time to learn and practice without getting too tired.”
“That sounds fine,” Harry replied. “Do you have a particular day in mind?”
“You have your lessons with Professor Snape on Tuesdays and Thursdays correct?”
“Yes.”
“Well, we can hold them Wednesday afternoons, or if you want a break between your Occlumency lessons, we can hold them Saturday mornings after breakfast.”
Harry clamped his lips together in thought. “I think Wednesdays would be better.”
“Excellent. I’ll start making the announcements in all my classes beginning tomorrow. I think we should be able to start next Wednesday.”
After taking another sip of tea, Harry thought about one important thing. “Were will we be holding these study groups?”
“I was thinking the Room of Requirement. It should be big enough.”
“It worked well for us last year,” Harry mentioned.
Remus took a sip of his tea and began studying Harry. “I am a little surprised Harry,” he began quietly a few minutes later, “that you haven’t asked about Ron or Hermione teaching with you.”
“Yeah, well…I was going to ask, but well I…I really wanted to have this for myself. I know it sounds selfish, but every year they’ve always been by my side with everything. For once I want to do something by myself. I guess I want to be able to prove to myself that I can do something without their help.”
Remus stood up and took the seat next to Harry. “You are not being selfish. It’s only natural that you would want something for yourself every once in a while. And I must admit that I am glad to hear you say that you didn’t want their help. I would have denied that option.”
“You would have?” Harry asked surprised.
“Yes. I’ve watched you grow up for the past three years, Harry. Unfortunately a lot of it had been at a distance, but I have watched you. I always thought you were not living up to your full potential.”
Harry bristled at that statement. Over the past few months he came to realize that Remus didn’t care all that much for him. The man’s past actions toward him proved it. Harry had already felt slightly upset that the man didn’t care for him, but that one last statement made him feel worse. It was like a knife pierced his heart. Wanting to leave and not caring about the study group, Harry made to leave the office.
Remus, seeing Harry was going to leave, put a hand on Harry’s arm to stop him. “Harry, don’t take what I’m saying the wrong way. Let me finish explaining.”
Harry slowly sat back down and looked at the man warily.
"I always thought you weren’t living up to your full potential when you had your friends around. I don’t think Ron and Hermione were holding you back, per se. It’s just that their personalities are a little stronger than yours which means they have a stronger influence on you. If you are given the chance Harry, you can live up to your full potential and do extraordinary things. This study group is your chance to shine.”
“I…what….I…” muttered Harry, not thinking the Defense professor would even say anything like that. It was actually slightly embarrassing. “Thank you.”
Remus squeezed Harry’s shoulder and walked back around to the other side of the desk and sat down. “Now, back to our original topic. Since we won’t know how many students are interested in attending this new group, there is no need to start on a schedule yet. I think our first meeting next week should just be an informational meeting only. Talk about what we want to get out of these sessions and how they will proceed. We’ll wait to see how the first one goes then we’ll go from there.”
Harry nodded. He still couldn’t believe he was going to teach.
“Very well.” Remus laughed and smiled at the look on Harry’s face. “I can see we won’t be able to do anything productive right now. Go ahead and finish your tea. You can stay here until dinner if you’d like. Though I do think you might have some homework to attend to.”
“Yeah, I do have some homework,” Harry replied a little distractedly. He took another sip of his tea and set the cup on the desk. “Thank you so much for this opportunity Professor Lupin.”
“Don’t thank me until we’ve had a few sessions. You may change your mind.” He laughed again then stood up to walk Harry out of his office. “I’ll let you know more of the details for Wednesday after I’ve spoken with my classes. I’ll also make an announcement in the older years about a study group for them. Have a good evening Harry.”
“Good night professor,” Harry replied and left the man’s office back for the Gryffindor common room.
~SH~
“What is wrong with you?” Severus asked Harry, slightly amused, before their Occlumency lesson was to begin. The boy was practically vibrating off the chair he was sitting in.
With a smile on his face, Harry answered. “Professor Lupin asked me to teach a defense study group for the first through fourth years. Can you believe it? He actually wants me to teach! He’ll be there of course, but it will be just me teaching. Can you believe it?”
Severus gave a small smile at the boy’s excitement. “I don’t see why you should be so excited. It sounds just like that group you led last year.”
Harry’s excitement lessened at his father’s lack of excitement. “It’s not like the DA,” he explained. “I’m doing this all by myself.”
“But I thought you taught the DA. That’s what the headmaster relayed to the staff.”
“I didn’t teach the DA by myself. It was a group effort between Ron, Hermione, and me. This group will be taught just by me.” Harry’s excitement returned. “I get to come up with everything. Can you believe it? I’m going to be teaching!”
“I do hope that you won’t forget about your studies. Being a student comes first.” Severus looked at Harry pointedly.
“I know that. I already told that to Professor Lupin.”
“Good.” Severus was surprised. He wouldn’t have thought Harry would put his studies first. “But if I see you lacking in any of your subjects, I will put a stop to your teaching.”
“You won’t have to worry,” Harry responded honestly.
Severus nodded. “Very well.” He looked at Harry for a minute. “This is a wonderful opportunity for you Harry. It’s not every day a student is afforded this type of opportunity. I’m very proud of you.”
“You are?” Harry asked flabbergasted.
“Of course I am.”
Harry clamped his lips together tightly as he felt an intense burning behind his eyes. He’d never had anyone say that they were proud of him using those exact words. He couldn’t even describe what he was currently feeling.
Severus gazed at Harry and could see every emotion he was feeling. He got up and walked around his desk towards Harry and opened his arms. “Come here.”
Eight months ago, the thought of hugging anyone would have made Severus want to perform the killing curse on himself. But now, he wanted to hug Harry whenever he could. And the best part was, he knew that Harry would always welcome one.
Harry stood up and rushed into Severus’ arms. He started sniffling as his father wrapped his arms around him. “Thanks Dad.”
“I know you will do well, Harry.” After a few seconds, and with Harry’s sniffling intensifying, Severus ran a hand up and down Harry’s back once. “Come now. Stop those tears. We can’t have a lesson if you start crying.”
“Then I think I will cry, thank you very much,” Harry responded with a watery laugh, though he was trying to stop.
Severus ended the hug, reached into his pocket and handed Harry a handkerchief. “Dry those tears.” He walked back around to the desk and sat down, watching Harry while he composed himself. “Are you ready?” he asked once it looked like Harry was done.
Harry blushed a little in embarrassment. He always seemed to cry or be in tears around his father lately. Before this year he couldn’t really remember the last time he shed a tear. “Yeah, I’m ready,” he finally responded.
“Good. Now let’s review what you learned during Tuesday’s lesson.”
Chapter 34
To be continued...