Severus stood outside of the Gryffindor common room, uncomfortably aware of the stares he was receiving from the Gryffindors who passed by. Finally, one of the girls in Lily's year seemed to take pity on him. She actually listened to him as he made his plea and promised to take his message to Lily.

A moment later, Lily stood in front of him.

"Lily, I'm sorry." he said plaintively, "I didn't mean it."

Her eyes were blazing, "You drew a wand on my son!" she growled, "How dare you?"

Was that what happened? He didn't remember what he'd done; all he knew was that he'd buggered something up.

"I'm sorry." Memory started to fill in. The boy staring at him, unable to move, tears trickling down his frightened face, "He startled me. I didn't mean to. It just...happened."

He took a step towards her. They were in the kitchen of his home on Spinner's End, not at Hogwarts at all.

Lily had her arms folded across her chest, "Don't do it again." she hissed.

"No, of course not." Severus agreed quickly, "I'm sorry."

"It's not me you need to apologize to." she said harshly, "And you're not the only one."

"Only one what?"

"Who needs to apologize to Harry." another voice said, quietly.

Severus turned to see James Potter standing in the doorway of the kitchen. Severus stiffened, crossing his arms over his chest, "What are you doing here?" he hissed.

James slouched in, while Lily glared at both the men. Her fierce attitude warning them both to behave.

"Come in and sit down." snapped Lily, to James.

Severus opened his mouth to protest, but the look Lily turned on him made him shut it again.

James sat at the kitchen table, "I expect all the adults in Harry's life owe him an apology." Lily's husband sat with his elbows on the table in front of him, his hands resting palms down with the fingers curved. Severus stared at the man's hands, realizing that the younger Potter's hands were very different. James' hands were broad and short fingered, capable and strong. Harry's fingers were long and fine boned, almost delicate. The hands of an artist or a musician.

Or a potion's master, Severus realized with a start, looking at his own hands . How could he have missed that?

James looked up to catch Severus' eye, "I'm sorry."

Taken aback, Severus asked, in the iciest voice he could muster, "I beg your pardon?"

"I'm sorry that we never had a chance to talk this over. Sorry that I never had the chance to thank you." James ran a hand through his hair, "I wanted to."

"Thank me?" Severus shook his head, confused.

Severus woke with a gasp and a start. This was getting unnerving. He'd been dreaming of Lily since this whole thing started, but now to be dreaming of James Potter...

Severus sat up, feeling stiff. The room's darkness was so complete that it looked the same whether his eyes were open or shut. He reached over and turned on the lamp, wincing a bit when the light dazzled his eyes.

The clock read half-past three, so he'd slept about fourteen hours (assuming he hadn't slept through to the next day). He was thirsty, needed to use the toilet and felt like he could do with another shower.

He glanced at the pocket watch that lay on the bedside table. The watch only had one hand, marked "HJP". Rather than numbers, it had words. Right now, it pointed to the word where the number nine would normally be: "Sleeping".

That was reassuring. Of course, the alarm would go off if the hand pointed to "Mischief" or "Mortal peril", keyed as it was to Potter's magical signature and Severus' own household wards.

Molly Weasley had spelled the watch for him. Grudgingly, Severus had to admit that Mrs. Weasley was actually a rather formidable witch. He had never thought of it before, but she was, in her own way, as powerful as any of the Hogwart's heads of house. Her speciality was protective spells-with seven children, Severus supposed it would have to be.

Her own family clock was quite efficacious apparently. The Weasley family clock's alarm had started ringing as soon as the hand of the clock that represented the girl had reached "Mortal Peril". According to Dumbledore, Molly (she had insisted that Severus call her by her given name) had been frantically trying to contact both Minerva and Dumbledore, at the same moment she received the headmaster's message about her daughter.

When Severus had asked her to put an alarm on the watch for "Mischief", Molly had laughed at him. Severus couldn't find it in him to be offended-her laughter was more nerves and exhaustion than amusement, "If my clock went off every time one of my children were up to mischief," she'd said, "I'd never get any sleep."

She'd added the alarm for him, though.

Every time Severus had woken, he'd checked the watch. In the afternoon it had pointed to "Shops", then "Home". Surprisingly, at no point did it even get close to "Mischief".

Slowly, with many pauses, Severus made it to the bathroom and back. This time, the bed wasn't made, so Severus assumed that the elf Albus had sent them must also be sleeping.

That was all to the good. Severus was going to have words with Dumbledore about that; he knew how Severus felt about the creatures. It was fine for them to be the Hogwarts' staff; any school would need staff, but Severus drew the line at them following him home. When he'd first started teaching, an elf had followed Severus home. The elf assigned to look after Severus' rooms at Hogwarts. Apparently, each teacher had an elf assigned to them and most of the teachers would "borrow" the elf for the summer holidays.

It had taken a few days that time, but Severus had eventually caught the elf in the kitchen and given it a direct order to go back to Hogwarts and stay there. The poor thing had been quite put out until Severus had given it a job-he'd told it that he'd rather have it keeping the castle with the other elves.

It wasn't the elves themselves that bothered him; Severus was deeply uncomfortable with the idea of keeping slaves. He supposed it was his Muggle heritage showing through, but all the arguments for keeping house elves were the exact same ones that had been espoused for keeping human slaves at one time. He kept his thoughts on that to himself, of course. Such attitudes did not endear one to Pure Blood society, but as Severus had grown older, Pure Blood society mattered less and less.

When Severus had tottered back from the bathroom, he saw that the elf had done some minor rearranging, at some point during the day. The breadbox from the kitchen sat on the table by the window. Severus opened it slowly, wondering what on earth it was doing there.

Inside the breadbox, kept at the proper temperature by the stasis charm, was a plate of shepherd's pie, a few slices of bread, the small tea pot, and a little jug of milk. A tea cup and the sugar bowl sat beside the breadbox.

Severus shook his head, deciding that he was going to have some serious words with Dumbledore. This was a little more initiative than house elves generally took, but it was a clever way to avoid direct contact with Severus. That way there was no chance that he could order the elf away-and if he didn't know it's name, he couldn't very well call it to himself in order to do that.

Biting back his irritation, Severus sat down to eat. The shepherd's pie was a different recipe than what the elves generally made at the castle. Still quite palatable, but heavier on some of the spices and lighter on the salt. Likely, this was a recipe the headmaster favored.

As he had in the afternoon, Severus took his dishes down to the kitchen himself. It would take more than doing his own dishes to convince the house elf to leave, Severus knew, but it was the principle of the thing.

He wasn't tired enough to go back to bed, yet. He put the kettle on and went into the front room to look for something to read. He still wanted to look up the side effects of the Tribuo spell. He had at least two books that made reference to it.

To his surprise, Potter was asleep on the settee, a low fire in the fireplace. One of the electric lamps had been left on. A book that Severus recognized from his own shelves was laying across the boy's chest. Apparently Potter had fallen asleep reading.

Severus sat down on the chair near the fire, his dream coming back to him as he stared at Potter's hands. He had been correct, the boy's hands were very like his own.

He remembered a conversation he'd had with Lily, the last time he'd seen her. The only time Severus had seen the child before Lily's death.

At the time, he'd been much more concerned with Lily's plans for keeping herself safe, than with the baby. It was just before they went into hiding, so that would have made the boy, perhaps, eleven months old. Lily and her son were staying at Hogwarts until their safe house could be arranged. The elder Potter and Dumbledore had been visiting a proposed site that day and Severus had come to make a report to Dumbledore.

He'd seen her in the corridor, taking the child out for a bit of sun. Severus insisted on walking with her. Hogwarts was secure, but Severus still felt apprehensive letting Lily walk alone.

They'd sat by the lake, talking seriously about the War while the baby pulled up bits of grass and threw them into the air. He'd not taken much notice of the black haired bundle that Lily held so precious, to be honest. Until the bits of grass the baby threw up into the air stayed in the air. The child laughed with astonishment and reached for the grass, while Lily laughed with joy. It had been the child's first magic. A moment that was celebrated in wizarding families like a child's first steps or first words.

"James will be sorry he missed this." she'd said.

In a rare moment of playfulness, Severus had summoned a few daisies and sent them to dance with the blades of grass, much to Lily and her son's delight.

Only one other time had Severus laid eyes on the boy, before he'd come to Hogwarts, but that didn't bear thinking about.

When the boy had arrived at Hogwarts, Severus had been quite happy to hate him on sight. The child's existence was a knife to his gut. A living reminder of Severus' guilt. He wished every day that he'd refused Lily.

Severus couldn't help but think that he was damned thrice over. If he'd never agreed to Lily's scheme, she might not have been with child, and the Dark Lord would never have targeted her. It would have been better if she had gone to a Muggle sperm bank. Odds were, it would have taken a year or more for her to conceive. Perhaps they would have given up entirely, chosen some war orphan to adopt. Then again, If she had mothered a squib, their little family might be safe and whole now.

Of course, if things had gone differently, the Dark Lord would possibly still be in power. The Dark Lord's supporter's had been many. With the full weight of the Pure Blood wizards behind him, the Dark Lord seemed poised to gain complete control over Wizarding Britain.

If the Dark Lord's ambitions had been realized, as a Muggle-born, Lily's life wouldn't have been worth half a knut. One of the reasons Severus had taken what he'd overheard that night in the Hogshead to the Dark Lord. He just thought it was a piece of information that no one else had. His former master had valued such things as proof of loyalty.

Severus had been trying desperately to curry favor with the Dark Lord; he had hoped, among other things, to use the influence to protect Lily. Severus had never thought the Dark Lord would put so much stock in the ravings of an alleged seer. And he certainly never imagined he'd put it together with the Potters.

When he realized his mistake, Severus had told the Dark Lord that he desired Lily - a motivation the Dark Lord could understand. Love, whether friendship, familial or romantic, was beyond the Dark Lord. Severus sincerely doubted the man (was he a man any more?) had ever had a lover, male or female. However, the Dark Lord understood lust, avarice and the need for power over another. He viewed Severus' request in that light, and it had been easy to convince the Dark Lord that Severus wanted Lily not only to warm his bed, but as a kind of revenge against an old foe.

The Dark Lord had given Severus a promise: he would spare the woman's life. She need only to give up the child and she could live.

That was when Severus went to Dumbledore. He knew in his soul that his friend, his Lily, a true healer in her heart of hearts, would never step aside to let anyone be harmed, let alone her precious child

James Potter had sent a message to Severus, through Dumbledore, days before he died. A note that had asked Severus to do whatever he had to do to protect Lily and Harry, if something were to happen to him. He'd laid it on Severus' shoulder's keep his family safe.

Severus had failed miserably on every count, it seemed.

Drops of water fell onto Severus' hands, startling him. For a few second, he stared in confusion at the moisture, before he realized he was weeping.

He wiped his eyes with the heel of his hand, getting himself under control. It wasn't like him to have his emotions so close to the surface.

The sleeping boy turned his head. Severus could see his profile in the light of the electric lamp. It wasn't James Potter's profile that he saw then. The child's face, in the dim light, was all Evans. The boy's nose was like Mr. Evans' and the mouth coming from Lily's mother's side. It did have those pieces that stuck up making it impossible for the hair to lie down flat, just like James, but the color could have come from anywhere.

Perhaps Lily hadn't used James' whole hairbrush, after all.

The child turned over again, then sat up suddenly. He stared at Severus with wide eyes.

Severus wasn't even sure the boy was actually awake, "Potter?" he rasped, "What are you doing in here?"

The boy shook his head. "Professor?" he asked, anxiously, squinting at Severus.

"Yes, Potter." Severus replied, evenly.

The boy seemed to breathe a sigh of relief, fumbled around for his glasses, "Couldn't sleep." he muttered, locating them and putting them on. The Evans resemblance was subdued now. The boy looked more like Lily's husband, with the scruffy hair and glasses being his most prominent features.

"It appears you have managed to fall asleep in here, however." Severus returned.

The boy shrugged, "I started a fire. Thought it might help me sleep." he gathered up the blanket from the settee and wrapped it around himself, "I'll get out of your way, sir." he said, moving to stand.

"Never mind, Potter." sighed Severus, "I was only coming to get a book. But now you're awake, I suppose you'd like some tea?" Severus didn't know what possessed him to offer the boy tea. He just had a vague might have some more success drawing the boy out of himself. He'd found with the students in his house that there were things that could only be spoken of in the dead of night.

It was almost comical, the look of puzzlement that came over the boy's face.

"Stay there." Severus said, rising to get the tea.

When he returned, Potter had poked up the fire and was staring at it. Severus put the tea tray down on the coffee table, poured two cups, handing the first to the child.

Severus wasn't sure how to start this conversation. Most of the time, when he had this sort of encounter with one of the students in his house, they were falling over themselves to unburden their souls. He seldom had to do more than provide a willing pair of ears.

Unfortunately, there was so much bad blood between himself and the child, that he knew it was not going to be so easy. This was more than a case of homesickness, that would mend itself in a day or two. And it was not as if Severus could pawn Potter off on Poppy, as he usually did with those students who seemed in need of more than a cup of tea. No, at the moment Potter was entirely his problem.

"Did you call Granger?" Severus asked. It seemed as good an opening as any.

Potter started, as though he'd forgotten Severus was there, "No. I suppose I forgot." he replied softly.

"Call her in the morning, or she'll be be thinking I chopped you into potion ingredients." grated Severus, and then, plowing ahead because he had to start somewhere, "You seem rather angry at Miss Granger. Any reason why?"

Potter just stared at him for a minute. The boy's eyes narrowed, "I'm not angry at her." he said, gruffly.

"So, you always call her names?." Severus settled back in his chair with his tea cup, "That seems...uncharacteristic."

"What do you mean 'call her names'?" the boy asked indignantly.

"During your...episode." Snape sipped his tea, "Although you did seem quite beside yourself. Perhaps you don't recall?"

"I..." Potter began, then he trailed off and shrugged.

"In fact, I've noticed that there has been quite some distance between you and the rest of your housemates. You have become quite withdrawn." Severus was too tired to be anything but blunt.

The boy shrugged again.

"Perhaps, she's done something to upset you?" Severus pressed.

Potter shook his head, remaining silent. Severus was trying to think of something else to say when Potter muttered, "She should just mind her own business." into his tea.

"She is rather overly-inquisitive." Severus watched the boy carefully. Potter had started to swing his feet back and forth, his mouth pulled down sharply, "What did you not want her inquiring about?" he asked, carefully.

"Nothing." The the boy's mouth twisted, as though overcome with some emotion. Severus didn't catch what it was. And then, he snarled, "She just shouldn't talk behind my back. That's not what friends do."

"Ah." Severus sipped his tea some more, "So, you're unpleased that she and the Weasleys went to Lupin with their suspicions?"

"What? Percy went with them?" Potter asked, surprised.

"No. The twins. Apparently those two reprobates have enough sense to talk to an adult when they feel something is badly wrong." So, the Weasley twins hadn't revealed their part in this to Potter. Severus thought that was very interesting, "In fact, they were the most adamant that your guardians were less than adequate. Miss Granger seemed to lose her nerve a bit, when she found out I was going to be part of the conversation."

"George and Fred talked to you?" Potter asked, blankly.

"That surprises you?" Belatedly, Severus remembered he had promised them anonymity. He went on softly, "They were concerned for you."

"What did they tell you?" Potter's voice was low, angry. He held his teacup tightly in two hands.

"They said that they rescued you from your relatives with their father's car. That at the time your Aunt and Uncle had been starving you and keeping you under lock and key." Severus looked into Potter's angry eyes, "I don't understand why it concerns you so. This would have come out when you were examined regardless. Your relatives mistreatment of you is written all over your body."

Abruptly, Potter's shoulder's dropped, "I'm being stupid. I just wish..." he trailed off, looking down, "You and Lupin. You both went to the Dursley's?"

Severus wasn't sure where the boy had gotten that bit of information, but he saw no reason to deny it, "Yes."

"Did Aunt Petunia show you my cupboard?" the child asked harshly.

"Actually, no." replied Severus, calmly, "You keep mentioning it, though. Why is that?"

Potter scowled and shot Severus a venomous look. He shut his mouth firmly and turned his gaze back to the fire.

"Do you often sleep on a settee rather than your bed?" Severus asked, after a few moments.

Potter nodded, a little sheepishly, "I've always had trouble sleeping. Sometimes I just read in bed, but sometimes I feel too...I don't know...claustrophobic? So I go down to the common room and read until I fall asleep."

Severus nodded, glancing again at the book Potter had chosen. He felt himself go still. It was one of the few works of fiction on his shelves. One of the books that Lily had given him.

Severus forced himself to relax. It was not as though that was any surprise. Very few of the books in his library would be of interest to a thirteen year old boy, save the ones that Lily had given to Severus when they were teenagers. This whole damned house was haunted by memories.

"Professor?" Potter asked, tentatively, "Why are there so many Muggle things in your house?"

"My father was a Muggle." replied Severus, shortly.

"So, you did grow up here, then?" the boy asked, interested, "But, you don't talk like anyone around here."

"My mother was a witch. From quite an old family." Severus said, quietly, "I prefer to be known for that in the Wizarding World."

"Did you get on with your parents?" Potter was getting dangerously close to subjects Severus would rather not speak of.

"I was quite close to my mother." Severus told the boy stiffly, "My father was...a difficult man."
Potter looked hard at Severus. If the child had been older, Severus would have suspected him of attempting Legilimency, "Why do you ask, Potter?"

The boy blushed a little and looked away, "You've been...really decent this whole term." he said, "I appreciate it."

"You aren't the first student I've had to temporarily take custody of." Severus assured him, leaving out the fact that Potter was the first student he'd taken permanent custody of.

Potter looked back sharply, "But..."

Severus sighed, "Unfortunately, there are abused children in every group of students. Teachers, especially heads of houses, look for the signs. Longbottom and yourself were, sadly, not spotted. I suspect because all of us," Severus inclined his head, waved his hand vaguely to include all of the adults in Potter's life, "Were not looking properly."

The boy's whole mien changed. He stiffened, shifted forward until he was sitting on the edge of his seat, poised for flight. He put his teacup down and pulled the blanket closer around him, "I'm not like Neville." he whispered. His face was very pale. Severus sincerely hoped he wasn't about to have another attack of his nervous stomach, "Uncle Vernon...he only hit me once in a while. Most of the time he just shouted. It was never...never that bad."

"And depriving a child of food is an acceptable punishment, is it?" Severus couldn't keep the sneer out of his voice, and didn't really try.

"I knew lots of people who got sent to bed without meals." Potter said petulantly.

"One meal." Severus grated. He wished they were back at Hogwarts, where he could send Potter off for a nice chat with Poppy or one of the other professors, "I will guarantee that none of those children ever missed more than one meal. And, more than likely, they were merely deprived of their pudding, rather than the whole meal."

Potter's eyes narrowed, and he seemed on the verge of fleeing, but he wasn't quite in flight, yet.

"While we're at it, referring to a child under your care as a 'freak' is unacceptable among Muggles and wizards, both. Petunia has always been a wretched, spiteful thing." Severus said, darkly. For a moment he wished he'd hexed the both of those horrors who called themselves Vernon and Petunia while he'd had the chance. He remembered Lily's face as she'd told Severus what Petunia had been calling her the summer after their first year.

Potter sighed, "Aunt Petunia just didn't like my magic. She couldn't help being..." the boy paused as though thinking of something, "You said you knew my grandparents? Didn't you?"

"I knew them. Yes. Not well, but they were kind people." replied Severus cautiously.

"You knew my mum, then?" Potter's eyes lifted, looking at Severus hopefully, "You met at Hogwarts?"

"We were in the same year." Severus admitted. A voice inside his head, that sounded remarkably like Lily, berated him for telling half truths to the boy.

"You were friends?" Potter asked.

Severus clenched the hand that wasn't holding his teacup.

The child dropped his eyes and cringed a little, as though he expected to be cuffed. Severus wondered what the child had read in his face. But then, the boy raised his chin, a little defiantly, his teeth set.

"It's very late." croaked Severus around an unaccountable lump in his throat, "Finish your tea, and get to bed." For good measure, he slid the plate of tea biscuits he'd included on the tea tray towards the child, "Eat something. I expect you don't eat enough at dinner and you wake up hungry."

The boy's look of astonishment was again quite comical and Severus found himself having to suppress a smile.