Eileen Snape Nee Prince had always been most adamant about living up to one's responsibilities. It was something she had impressed upon her son from an early age.

Even more, Tobias Snape had instilled in Severus a strong sense of Duty. Tobias was the perfect example of what happened when one did not meet one's responsibilities.

For years, Severus had thought it was his Duty to uphold his mother's honor. Originally, the Dark Lord had offered a way for a young Half Blood Wizard to gain honor and renown. A way to restore the nearly extinct Prince name.

When Severus found himself in too deep and discovered that the Dark Lord planned to exterminate rather than merely rule over the Muggle Borns, he had thought it his Duty to gain the Dark Lord's trust and stature within the Death Eater ranks, in order to protect his best friend.

Then, it was his Duty to help the other side, in order to protect her and her little family.

When he could not protect his friend, it fell to him to protect her son.

He'd buggered all of it up, completely. He resolved that he would not do so, in future.

He stayed the whole time Poppy was seeing to Harry's neck and then afterwards, while the potion was at its' most painful. Insisting that he take the first watch on the boy. If the sound of his voice telling childish stories calmed the boy, then Severus was not going to argue. He could not bring himself to leave his child like that; confused, distressed and in pain.

Although, the sadly befuddled conversation they had, when Severus gave Harry his most recent dose of pain potion, destroyed the last of his composure.

Dumbledore would hear of this, and Petunia would, most certainly, pay for her lies.

Severus had to remind himself, forcefully, that revenge would not help the child.

It might help Severus, however.

The thing was, before he was a Death Eater, Potions Master, or even someone's friend, the man had heard words of that kind before, directed at him. From the time, he was very small. Even all after all these years, he could hear his father's voice.

At the moment, his frayed Occlumency skills did not help him clear his mind of one particularly painful memory.

He remembered a door that was kicked open in the dead of night, waking him from a sound sleep. He was what, eleven? Twelve?

Eileen standing on the stair, white faced and shaking, "Tobias." she'd said, pleadingly.

Severus hadn't been sure what he'd done wrong. Or, perhaps at the time he'd known, but he couldn't remember what the real or imagined transgression was now.

"I dunno why the hell I stay with you two!" Tobias had yelled, "Get the fuck out here, you little bastard!"

Severus had stood at the end of the hall, careful to stay far away from his father's fist.

"Too bloody proud to go to school around here, eh?" the man had demanded, "And the money we gotta spend on books and fancy clothes."

"Tobias, you know..." began Eileen, softly.

"Sharrup, woman!" Tobias turned back to Severus, "If 'e 'adn'ta been born, I would'n'a got stuck wi' you, would I?"

Eileen took a step back, "Toby, don't say that. That's not true." she was pleading, rather than asserting.

Tobias turned back to Severus, "Y'know what? You're a bleeding parasite, you are. D'ya know what a parasite is, boy?" He had been certain to make sure Severus understood the meaning of what he was being called. He'd asked for the meaning and several examples, just to be sure the point was driven home.

So now, though he did try to clear his mind, Severus couldn't shake the memory, as he normally did. He put his hand over his face while his other hand firmly held Harry's, which the boy still pressed to his cheek.

Poppy came in with some tea. Severus tried, without success, to pull himself together. She patted his shoulder. If it had been anyone but Poppy, even Dumbledore, Severus would have been completely mortified. As it was, Poppy had seen Severus in worse shape than this. However, that had generally been after Death Eater meetings at the end of the War.

She was, of course, aware that half of his unwonted sentimentality was due to recovering from the Tribua spell.

Poppy shooed him out of Harry's room, just as dawn was coming up over the horizon. The boy's owl had to be let in. Harry had locked it out, no doubt

Under protest, Severus slept for a few hours, coming back into Harry's room, after he'd showered, to relieve Poppy, sometime after eleven o'clock in the morning.

She sat by the small dark haired figure, reading an issue of the The Modern Cauldron Severus had laying around, under the watchful eye of the the boy's snowy owl who was perched on the back of the chair, rather than her accustomed spot. The owl turned and chirruped worriedly at Severus.

"How is he?" Severus asked Poppy, quietly.

"He's been calm since the Skelegrow finished." she replied just as quietly, "So, I've let some of the other potions wear off. He'll be less disoriented the next time he wakes."

Severus nodded, then the true trouble would begin,

"Have you searched his things, yet?" asked Severus.

"No." Sighed Poppy, "I suppose its best that we do it now." She stood and opened the trunk with her wand, both surprised that it was unlocked. Often it took a few minutes to get through a student's wards.

The clothing was stacked more or less neatly. Not obsessively so, as Severus had feared, given the whole house cleaning thing, but neat enough for a boy who puts value in his possessions.

Harry's trunk held heart breakingly few personal possessions.

They slowly took out each item, shaking them out and checking the pockets. They found no illicit substances, Wizard or Muggle, so that was something.

Poppy took everything a rope could be fashioned from, shrank them and put them in a small bag. She took everything edged, the potion's knife, his pen knife for his quills and an ever-sharp quill she found. These also went into a small bag. His potion's kit, although that contained nothing toxic, went away.

Severus left him parchment, and the pen he'd transfigured to make it easier to write with his damaged hand, although he spelled the tip not to be able to cut human flesh.

They didn't find any books from the Restricted section, nor anything else that smacked of the Dark Arts. After Miss Weasley's misadeventure, they were leaving nothing to chance.

Harry's wand and his broom, Severus took charge of. He locked the broom into his own upstairs broom cupboard and put Harry's wand in an inside pocket of his own robes.

The last thing in his trunk was a battered shoe box made of cardboard. Severus opened it gingerly, only to discover it was packed with food. A quick check showed that the box had a very good stasis charm on it.

"Well, this is why he can go so long between meals." remarked Severus dryly, though his heart contracted at what the stash of food might mean.

"Oh, Harry." sighed Poppy, "And we all missed it." She looked up, "Do you know, even before the incident with blowing up the aunt, Harry had sent notes to his friends asking them to send food? Molly told me. She said something to Albus at the time, but," Poppy shrugged helplessly, "Albus thought it just Harry's natural preference for Molly's cooking."

"Should we take it?" asked Severus, a little unsure.

Poppy shook her head, "The stasis charm is well done. Hermione must have helped him. If it makes him more secure, there's no harm. It might even be a good sign." she spread her hands in front of her, "It may mean that this was merely an impulsive act, rather than something he's been planning for a while."

Severus nodded.

"I'll watch him, now." he said firmly, "If you want to have an hour."

Poppy gave him a searching look, "I'll go down stairs and wait for Remus, then. I'll have a sleep on the settee. If he," she indicated the sleeping Harry, "Can swallow the healing draught, he can eat. make sure it's soft food. After that, he can get up, if he wants to. Just to the bathroom and back, though. And leave the binding charm on his neck. If he still can't swallow, or he chokes on the potion, spell it into him and try again with another, in an hour." She stood and shook out her skirts, "Until we have a better sense of his mental state, he'll need to be on constant watch. Line of sight.'

Severus sighed. Harry was not going to be pleased, at all. He and Poppy had done this with one or another of his Slytherins every few years, since he'd started at Hogwarts, and he had helped other heads of house with suicide watches. If it was a wizard from a Pure Blood Family, they did their best not to let the family know that it was suicide they were watching for. Spattergroit and Dragonpox often required extended stays in the infirmary.

It was always exhausting, for everyone. And unfortunately, Spinners End was not furnished with anti suicide, anti self harm and accidental magic dampening charms, the way the infirmary was, so they'd have to keep Harry's wand away from him.

Severus finished packing Harry's things back into his trunk after Poppy left the room in a rustle of skirt. His hands lingered on one of the few personal things that had been in the trunk, a photograph album.

He sat down on his chair with it and opened it to a random page. Lily gazed up at him, holding a blackhaired baby in a soft blue knitted jumper. She smiled and picked up the baby's hand to wave at Severus, giggling soundlessly.

"Ah, Lily." he whispered, putting his hand on the photograph.

"Put it down." A cracked whisper, dry as a bone, "It's mine."

Severus started, looked up to see Harry's accusing green eyes looking at him, albeit slightly myopically.

"Of course," Severus agreed, "My apologies." he said civilly. He closed it and put the album on the bedside table, next to the child's glasses, "How do you feel?"

"Throat hurts." The boy blinked, "Why can't I move my head?" he asked, still in that painful whisper.

"You broke your neck. More precisely, you fractured one of your vertebrae." Severus said flatly, "And your larynx, that's why your throat hurts. Madam Pomfrey's mended the fractures, but the soft tissue still needs support. Do you think you can swallow some potions?"

The boy seemed to try to nod, but couldn't, so he said, "Yes." he went to try and struggle to sit up.

"Stay there, Harry." Severus told him, taking out his wand to lift the head of Harry's bed, so he was sitting up all the way.

Severus uncorked the vial and handed it to the boy who dutifully drank it. He sputtered a bit on it, but it all went down. The child swallowed again, as if surprised by the sensation

Severus picked up the boy's glasses and handed them to him. Harry put them on and peered at Severus in some confusion.

"How did I break my neck?" his voice sounded better. It also sounded wary and perhaps angry.

"It's not an uncommon injury, in an unsuccessful hanging." Severus sat back to watch the boy's face, "You do remember, do you not?"

Harry's face turned red, then white. Not being able to turn his head away, he closed his eyes. Severus noted his hands fisted in his sheets and the angry set of his jaw.

"You should have something to eat." Severus said briskly, to forestall an outburst. That healing potion could use some time to work, before Harry started throwing tantrums. "Anything you prefer?"

"Doesn't matter." Harry said listlessly. He likely would have shrugged, if he could have moved his neck and shoulders that way.

Severus had asked that the house elf Poppy had brought with her, if he knew what the boy liked. The house elf had claimed that the boy ate rather omnivorously, so Severus conjured a bowl of the soup from the pot that was downstairs on the stove.

He set the tray on Harry's lap. Harry looked at the soup, sighed and ate a few spoonfuls.

"Professor?" he asked suddenly, turning a little red, "I need to get up. I need the loo."

"Of course," said Severus. He picked up the tray, helped Harry to his feet. Harry was still unable to turn his head or bend his neck, so that was a trifle awkward. Severus summoned the boy's dressing gown and slippers and helped him put them on.

"Did you say that Madam Pomfrey came from Hogwarts?" asked Harry.

"Yes." replied Severus, "She's downstairs."

"What for? I'm fine." Harry said, confused.

"You are a long way from fine." rasped Severus, "Tell me, is this the first time you decided to try to rid the world of your presence?"

The boy was silent. Probably the wrong approach, but it seemed that Severus never found the right approach with the boy.

They walked to the bathroom. Harry went in and tried to push the door shut.

Severus put a hand on the door to prevent him.

"Uh, sir?" Harry said nonplussed, "Can I shut the door?"

Severus sighed, "No, you may not." he said, evenly, "You have just attempted to take your own life. Until we are sure that you will not attempt to do so again, one of us will have you in sight, at all times."

"But I need..." Harry began, turning beet red.

"Yes, I realize." returned Severus, he turned his gaze upward toward the spot where the ceiling met the wall.

"Oh, you are kidding me." snarled Harry.

Severus crossed his arms, leaned sideways against the frame of the door, staring fixedly at his spot on the wall. This way, Severus could keep an eye on the boy without embarrassing both of them. Students always reacted badly to this part of the precautions. Madam Pomfrey and Professor Sprout kept the young women under observation and Severus, or oddly enough, Hagrid were generally called in to keep watch on the young men.

"I really don't think I can, with you standing there, Professor." The boy said, mortified.

Severus didn't change his posture, but he flicked his wand so that the tap on the sink turned on. The boy turned his back to Severus. The posture and the running water apparently gave him enough privacy, because after a moment the toilet flushed. Harry used the running water to wash his hands, turned off the tap and wiped them on the towel.

"Before you ask," said Severus, returning his eyes to Harry's face, "Madam Pomfrey and I have searched your possession and confiscated anything with which you could injure yourself. Including your wand."

Harry's face was very white, now. Severus couldn't tell whether it was from anger, pain or fear. The child chewed his lips, as though holding back whatever he was going to say.

"Now," Severus continued, "Because your neck is held by a charm rather than a Muggle device, you have your choice of showering or a refreshing charm. The charm is not nearly so thorough as a shower, but it is probably more suited to your modesty."

"Charm sounds good." the boy said, in a very subdued voice.

Severus nodded, directing his wand at the boy, he cleaned the clothes and the child at the same time.

"Back to bed." Said Severus, "The healing draught isn't finished. When it is, we'll take off that binding charm."

Harry's eyes narrowed in suspicion at Severus' tone. He was suspecting some trick

"Why's it so...damp in here?" asked Harry as he climbed into bed. The bed's head was still raised, it was safer for the child's healing throat.

"The humid air is easier on your airway. Are you warm enough?"

"Yes." The sullen reply.

This was going to be a very long day.

"Would you like something to read?" Severus asked, attempting civility.

'Why did you bother?" growled the boy.

Not bothering to pretend to misunderstand, Severus replied, "Because, I had to."

"Because, you didn't want the Boy-Who-Bloody-Lived to die on your fucking watch." Harry's fists were clenched in the bedclothes again.

"Do you imagine that no one would be hurt by your death, Harry?" Severus asked, flatly.

"I..." the child stopped, "No...not really." he said, quietly. He paused, looking a bit shocked by his own admission. He went on more loudly, "Who'd miss ME? They all want Harry Fucking Potter. They don't want me. It's like you always say...I've just got a little fan club. They just want talk about me behind my back and..." he trailed off, breathing hard.

Severus said nothing, for a moment, then, "So, your friends, you're still angry with them?"

"I don't want to talk about it." Griped the boy.

Severus consciously relaxed his jaw, trying to avoid a headache.

"So, how long before you ship me off to St. Mungo's or wherever Wizards ship off people who've gone 'round the bend?" Harry's eyes were lowered, even though he couldn't bend his head.

"Is that what you think?" asked Severus, gently, "That you've gone mad?"

Harry looked up with that narrow gaze, again suspicious of his tone, "Well, it's not exactly normal, to go and...do what I did, is it?"

"I give you my word, Harry, I'm not sending you anywhere." Severus said solemnly.

Harry's eyebrows drew together in a puzzled frown.

"What?" asked Severus, wondering why the boy suddenly looked so confused.

"Did we...talk...sometime last night?" Harry asked, slowly.

"Yes. Just a short conversation." said Severus cautiously.

"Oh." Harry turned very red, "Were you...telling me stories?" he asked hesitantly, as if doubting the veracity of his memory.

Severus nodded once, "Yes. You were somewhat agitated when Madam Pomfrey was working on your neck. The stories seemed to help."

"We talked about Aunt Petunia, didn't we?" Severus didn't think Harry could blush any deeper.

"Yes, as a matter of fact." Severus said stiffly, having a hard time keeping the anger he felt at that woman out of his voice.

Harry must have mistaken his tone to be directed at him, his chin started to quiver, "I'm sorry." he said, shakily.

"For what?" Severus watched Harry's eyes dart around looking for an escape, knowing he couldn't easily find one. Even turning over in the bed and curling up couldn't be done because of the charm that was holding his neck still for healing.

"I'm so much trouble. I didn't mean to be so much trouble." Harry whispered, quickly, "I guess Aunt Petunia was right. It would have been better if I'd died when I was a baby."

The potions master very nearly apparated out of the room to go track down Petunia Dursley and see if he remembered some of the curses he learned in his Death Eater Days.

Instead he drew his chair closer to the bed, "Listen to me, Harry." he said, putting his hand on the boy's, "I know you were the best thing in your mother's life. She told me so."

Harry's breath was sucked in as a sharp gasp. He looked at Severus, his eyes moving over his face as though looking for signs of deception or mockery.

Somewhere in the back of Severus' mind, it seemed that Lily was supplying him with the right words to say to her son, "James Potter and she were married two years before you were born. Your mother went to extraordinary lengths to bring you into the world. She would have done anything to keep you safe."

"How do you know?" the boy asked, petulantly.

"She was my best friend, Harry." Severus' chest ached, "If you needed a delicate, sensitive potion, to whom would you go? You were not unwanted, nor unplanned. Quite the opposite. Your mother came to me for a potion to aid her in conceiving you." He said, telling the child as much of the truth as he was going to. Perhaps, someday...But, this was not news a boy in a fragile state of mind needed to hear. For now the child needed to know that he was wanted. That he belonged somewhere.

The boy went to pieces. Severus moved to sit on the bed, pulled him forward so that he was sitting up, with his forehead resting on Severus' chest. Severus didn't want to risk him choking, with all the damage to his larynx.

"Shh."

"But..but she's dead..." a whisper as carrying as a shout.

"Yes." Severus said, gently. There was nothing else to be said, after all.

There were other words, but they were lost in the torrent of the child's tears.

"Shhh. We'll talk later." Severus told him. He rubbed the boy's back, trying to calm him. This wouldn't help his throat at all.

The boy was only thirteen, he was recovering from some rather serious injuries and the healing potions he had taken tended to have sedative properties. It didn't take long before the child's breathing deepened and he went limp in Severus' arms.

Carefully, Severus lay the child back down, plucking his glasses off his face and putting them on the bedside table. After a moment's thought, he summoned his copy of Tales of Beadle the Bard, put it under Harry's glasses.

He sat back in the chair, contemplating whether he should call Poppy's house elf to bring him some tea.

There was a soft knocking at the open door. Severus turned with a jerk, raising his wand.

"Sorry." Said Lupin, standing in the doorway. He held his hands palms out, in front of his chest, "Poppy let me in." he said by way of explanation.

Severus' eyes narrowed. He wondered how long Lupin had been standing there, and how the man could move so quietly.

"You seemed to be doing well with him." Lupin said.

"Oh, yes," sneered Severus, wanting to hit the man. He finally dropped his wand tip, "So well, that he hangs himself, first chance he gets."

"No, I mean just now." Lupin said, "He seems to have formed an attachment to you."

Severus flicked his wand, incanting a silencing charm so he and Lupin could speak freely. Chances were, the child feigned sleep well, "A whipped puppy will come to the first hand that pets it." He snarled, making sure he was facing away.

"And are, generally, the most loyal of companions." Lupin returned, mildly, "Poppy says you should take a break, for a few hours. Both of you have been up most of the night, she said."

"Where is she?" asked Severus, suspiciously.

"She's transfigured your dining table into a bed and your dining room into a guest room. She assumed you'd want to stay close to Harry?" Lupin replied.

Severus nodded, seeing that it was inevitable, "Fine, I'm going to bed. Wake me, if anything happens. Or if he should need...anything."

Lupin smiled, "Of course. By the way, I did have a piece of good news. I found Harry's dog. I didn't like to bring him without speaking to you first."

Severus felt like a small knot had undone itself. That was one less burden for the boy to carry. The child was devoted to both his familiars, even going so far as to make sure Hedwig would be cared for after his planned demise. Severus was sure that the assumed death of the dog had a huge part in Harry's seemingly sudden impulse to end his life.

"Yes." Severus said, "By all means, bring the dog. I'm sure it would be very helpful" he said curtly, before going downstairs to make himself that cup of tea.