“There is nothing left of you,

I can see it in your eyes,

Sing the anthem of the angels,

And say the last goodbye.

I keep holding on to you,

But I can‘t bring you back to life,

Sing the anthem of the angels,

And say the last goodbye.” ~Anthem of the Angels by Breaking Benjamin

Halloween, the day that his life changed forever, the whispers of the past continued to haunt the minds of Severus Snape as he walked down the hallways of Hogwarts school of witch and wizardry, heading toward the Headmaster’s office to speak to him about taking a personal day today.

Severus hasn’t had a chance to visit the grave of his beloved Lily Potter ever since that fateful night over fourteen years ago when his beloved Lily had passed through the Veil. He found himself reliving that memory, seeing Lily’s prone, motionless body with his own eyes, seeing only lifelessness in her eyes, holding on to her although he knew that he couldn’t bring her back, however much he wanted to.

It was that day that Severus ran to Dumbledore and begged the Headmaster’s forgiveness, promising to serve as a spy for the Order of the Phoenix in order to bring down the dark lord and, hopefully, ratify the mistake that cost his beloved Lily her life. And it was that day that would forever be burned inside Severus’s mind, coming back full force into his consciousness on each Halloween night ever since that day.

It was because of his duties as a teacher to the students at Hogwarts that had prevented Severus from visiting Lily’s grave but since everyone was too busy celebrating Halloween, and getting to know the visitors to the school for the Triwizard Tournament, he thought it was his perfect chance to finally visit Lily’s grave.

Finally making it to Dumbledore’s office, Severus spoke the password and the gargoyle jumped aside to allow Severus into the office. As he had requested, Albus was there, sitting behind his desk, eating candy and talking quietly with his familiar, the phoenix Fawkes.

“Ah Severus, my boy, welcome, lemon drop?” he asked.

“No thanks,” Severus said with as much politeness as he could muster. “I wanted to ask a favor of you, Albus.”

“Oh?” Albus stood up before walking around the desk. “And what would that favor be?”

Severus didn’t bother hesitating, he just got to the point quickly. “I want to go visit Lily’s grave,” he said quietly.

“Ah. I see. You do have classes after dinner though, Severus,” Albus reminded him.

“I know,” Severus replied he sneered before adding, “I am sure that nothing too bad will happen if I leave one of my classes with a different teacher although considering I have Gryffindors next, there is no telling but I have this odd feeling that I have to do this, I have to visit her, especially today.”

Albus nodded the twinkle in his blue eyes told Severus that he understood what the Potions Professor was trying to say and he scowled, wishing not for the first time that Albus wasn’t so intuitive. “Very well,” he said. “I will watch over your classes and make sure they do not badly damage your classroom. I suggest you get going so that you can return in time for the Halloween feast and for the first task, which will be soon.”

“I don’t plan on being gone long, Albus,” Severus said shortly. “I’ll be back by dinner.”

Albus nodded and gestured toward his floo. “You are free to use the floo if you want, my boy,” he said.

Severus nodded in agreement before he walked over to the floo and picked up the floo powder. “Godric’s Hollow,” he called before tossing the powder in it and stepped into the green flames.

Godric’s Hollow was a small town and the cemetery where Lily and James Potter were buried was easy to locate. Severus noticed that very few people, Muggles or wizards, traveled into the cemetery on Halloween. Just as wizards did, Muggles believed that Halloween night, or All Hallow’s Eve as some people called it, was the night that line between the living and the dead was basically nonexistent.

It was easy to find the area where Lily was buried and even easier to find her grave. It was situated right next to James’s, highlighted by shadows although it was still nearly broad daylight. Kneeling down beside the grave, Severus stretched out a hand and gently touched the cold stone beneath his fingers, small silent tears slipping down his face as he mourned the loss of the only one he has ever loved.

Time seemed to fly by after that and before Severus knew it, it was starting to grow dark. Startled by the sudden darkness and surprised that he had spent so long kneeling before Lily’s grave, Severus slowly stood up, rubbing his knees to get feeling back into them after sitting on them for so long.

“Severus.” A whispering voice, filled with love and regret and endless sorrow, a voice that Severus instantly recognized even though it’s been well over fourteen years since he last hear it. The darkness grew until only the crescent moon and the small pinpricks of stars shone down upon him.

“Severus.” The whispering voice said again and Severus, gazing around, wondered if he was going crazy.

“Oh my dear Severus, you are not going crazy,” the voice murmured again and Severus glanced once again toward the source of it, eyes going wide with shock when he saw the spirit of Lily Potter floating in front of him, her beautiful green eyes filled with sorrow and slight happiness as she gazed at the man that had once been her best friend.

“Lily,” Severus whispered. He had been trained during his years as a Death Eater to not show his emotions on his face but his eyes betrayed the shock he was feeling.

Lily smiled gently as she floated forward until she was directly in front of him and Severus watched, amazed, as Lily stretched out a ghostly hand and gently touched his face. “Oh, Sev, I have missed you so much,” she whispered.

“I am so sorry, Lily,” Severus whispered his eyes filling again with unshed tears.

“There is no need to be, Severus, I forgave you your mistakes years ago and I never stopped caring about you.”

Severus’s eyes continued into gaze into the face of the woman he loved more than life itself. He could still vividly remember the last time he had seen her; so cold, so still, it would forever be etched into his memory and even her spirit floating here today wouldn’t remedy the image that he caused because of what he had done.

Lily smiled faintly. “I cannot stay long, Sev,” she said softly. “I only came to visit you when I saw that you had finally gotten the courage to come and visit my grave on this night. This is the only night that I may speak to you as the divide between the living and the death is very thin today and I was able to crossover. I came to ask a huge favor from you.”

“Anything, Lily, anything,” Severus said automatically unable to say no to those exquisite eyes and the desperation that was within his beloved’s voice.

“I need you to watch over Harry, Severus,” Lily whispered. “Something horrible is going to happen soon and he will need someone to look out for him. I trust you enough to do this for him, Severus, you are the only one that he should be able to go to for help.”

“Why me?” Severus protested. “Why not Black or Lupin or even Dumbledore? Why me of all people?”

“Because you were, and always will be, my first love,” Lily said quietly. “You are the only one that I trust enough to look after Harry and understand him, especially after what is to come comes to pass. Please, Severus, protect my son, honor the promise you gave to me when I named you his godfather, please?”

Severus hesitated. He didn’t like the Potter brat all that much but he knew it was useless to say no to his beloved Lily. Lily had chosen him to be Harry’s godfather, even after he joined the Death Eaters and revealed the prophecy to Voldemort. Lily chose him, out of everyone, to be her son’s godfather even though she knew he had taken the Dark Mark and was a Death Eater. It was only her death that reverted Severus back to the light. Yet she still wished for Severus Snape, the snarky Potions Professor, the bat of the dungeons, to watch over and protect him.

“Please, Sev,” Lily whispered drifting closer to where Severus could almost have sworn he could feel her presence at his side. “I only ask that you look after him, protect him, and help him to the best of your ability. I know that you are risking your life spying on the supporters of the dark lord but you are the only one I can trust for this job.”

Severus was silent for a long moment before he stretched out a hand and gently touched Lily’s ghostly cheek, unable to feel anything but cold death. “I will, Lily, I promise you I will,” he whispered unable to deny Lily’s request. If it’ll help him overcome his guilt and start forgiving himself for what he had done, as was surely part of Lily’s reason for choosing him, then Severus would do it.

Lily smiled and her spirit started to fade. “Thank you, Severus,” she whispered. “I do love you and I have always loved you. Remember that, Severus, for love is a powerful emotion, one that cannot be destroyed, no matter how hard someone may try.” And with that, the spirit of Lily Evans Potter was gone, leaving the lone Potions Professor in utter darkness.

That had occurred seven months earlier and Severus had been trying his hardest to keep his promise to Lily Potter. But soon after the third task was completed and the rebirth of the dark lord, Severus found himself scowling angrily at himself when he realized he hadn’t expected this and, therefore, hadn’t been prepared to protect H…Potter as he had promised his late beloved.

It wasn’t until the feast that Severus noticed something was off. He had been late arriving to the Great Hall for the farewell feast and when he arrived, he was a bit startled to find that the one he had promised Lily, last October, to protect was nowhere in sight.

Scowling angrily, Severus stalked over to the table. “Where is Potter?” he interceded smoothly into the conversation that was currently going on between Granger and the second youngest Weasley.

Weasley glanced up, his eyes hardening but it was Granger who responded. “He never showed up for the feast,” Granger said. “We didn’t find him in the common room and we figured he was still resting after what happened at the end of the Triwizard Tournament.”

Severus scowled but nodded curtly and swept out of the room, ignoring the glares he was receiving from the other Gryffindors. When he exited the school building, he found Potter sitting on the steps leading into the courtyard, gazing at nothing.

“Potter,” he growled angrily and Potter leapt up before whirling around, startled by the sudden appearance of his Potions Professor.

“P…Professor Snape,” he greeted him, his voice stammering out.

“Why aren’t you at the feast?” Severus asked curtly. “It wasn’t to your liking?”

“I’m sorry, Professor, I wasn’t feeling hungry enough not after what happened in the graveyard,” Harry murmured.

Severus narrowed his eyes but before he could say anything, Potter began speaking rapidly. “We had just neared the end of the maze and Cedric and I grabbed the trophy at the exact same time and we were suddenly transported to the graveyard. But we didn’t know what was happening and then…” Severus listened in as Potter recounted Voldemort being reborn using Harry’s blood, Wormtail killing Cedric Diggory with the Killing Curse, Voldemort challenging Potter to a duel, fighting the dark lord, and then the appearance of Lily and James Potter.

“They said they would buy me enough time to get to the portkey and get out,” Harry explained softly. “So when they attacked Voldemort, I grabbed the portkey and grabbed Cedric’s body and we arrived outside of the maze.”

Severus was stunned. He didn’t think that simply asking a simple question would cause such a sudden outburst. Potter must have been emotionally distraught or else he wouldn’t have revealed what he just did to his snarky Potions Professor of all peoples. Narrowing his eyes at the mention of Lily, Severus said curtly, “Come with me,” before he led the way back into the school, glancing over his shoulder once to make sure the boy was following him.

It didn’t take them long to reach the cold confines of the dungeons and Severus, after murmuring the password, led the way into his chambers with Harry, er Potter, just behind him. “Take a seat,” Severus said gesturing to a chair and Potter sat down almost self-consciously, his eyes wide.

“W…What’s this about, Professor?” Potter asked sounding unsure as if he expected Severus to give him detention on his last day of school.

“Rest assured, Potter, I have no intention of making this day any more emotional or traumatic than it already is. I only wished to speak in private for the moment. What exactly did you mean when you said Lily and James appeared at your side?”

“Well…It wasn’t really them,” Potter admitted. “It was their spirits.”

You’ve been busy since we last spoke, Lily, Severus thought thinking back to Halloween night earlier that year. “Why did you tell me all of that?” he asked slowly.

Potter hesitated as if unsure whether he should tell Severus, or was too embarrassed to say anything. Severus wasn’t so sure. “It’s kind of hard to explain,” Potter said finally.

“Oh?” Severus raised his eyebrows.

“Well…I sort of had a dream the night after the end of the Triwizard Tournament and my mother was in it. She told me that if I ever needed to talk to anyone then I should talk to you. When I asked her why, she told me that you were her best friend.”

Severus was stunned even more so than before. Lily had asked Potter to speak to him of all people if he wanted to talk to someone. Lily had asked Severus to watch over and protect the boy but he never expected her to take steps to ensure that Potter knew he had someone to look to if he needed help.

You sure have been busy, Lily, Severus thought sadly.

“Were you really my mum’s best friend?” Potter asked in a soft voice as if he was afraid that what Lily had said wasn’t true, or possibly the other way around.

Severus let out a long sigh. “We were more than just best friends, Potter,” he said finally after a moment gathering his thoughts together. “She was…everything to me. She was my first friend and I loved her. If I hadn’t made the biggest mistake of my life then she would have known what I felt about her but I never got a chance to tell her.”

Potter blinked. “You really cared for my mum, Professor, didn’t you?” he asked.

Severus looked away. You’re getting too sentimental, Severus, he told himself firmly when he felt tears appear in his eyes and he quickly blinked them away. “Yes, I did, Potter,” he said curtly. He turned to glare at Potter. “You need to get to the Great Hall, Potter, before your friends become worried.”

Potter stood up. “Thank you, Professor,” he said softly and left before Severus could ask him what he was thanking him for.

Scowling at himself, Severus also walked out of his chambers, not missing the whispering words that came into his mind as if brought on by an invisible force.

Thank you, Severus.