His father had always played down his relationship to Harry as something unimportant. Kenai had always been the favored one to the point that their father never spoke to or of Harry at all unless it was to give Harry detention or tell Kenai to stay away from him lest he keep getting detention himself for picking on him. Kenai wasn't sure if his father hated Harry or not, but knew that he didn't like him, and didn't want to be associated with him. But what of all that now that his father had gone off and rescued him and sat with him in the Hospital Wing through the night? Where did he as the acknowledged son stand in all of this?

Fidgeting as he tried to make himself a sandwich in his father's quarters before going to class, Kenai wondered if there would ever come a day when Harry would be the favored one (he was the eldest after all) and Kenai would be the shunned child. He shuddered. His mother was dead, his grandparents were dead, and he didn't have any aunts or uncles... no godparents or cousins or anything. Where would he go if his father shunned him? Would their father give his room in the quarters to Harry? Would he give his room at Prince Manor to Harry? Kenai pulled out the necklace with the Prince family initial that his father had given him that gave him access to Prince Manor. Would he take this away from him as well, and place it around Harry's neck, as he had done when Kenai came of age?

He wasn't hungry and set his half made sandwich on the counter, unwilling to eat any. He heard the front door to the quarters open and close then, and feared briefly that he would turn and see Harry with his father, but his fears were allayed, at least temporarily when his father came in alone. He eyed the half made sandwich and Kenai waved at it to let him know he wasn't going to eat it. Severus picked it up as is and took a bite.

"There is no meat on this."

"I wasn't hungry."

Eyeing his son as he chewed, he said, "He isn't awake yet, but Poppy says he'll be fine. He didn't eat enough of the berries to need much antidote."

"Oh, good, not much antidote," Kenai snarked, and turned his back on his father.

"Is there something you wish to discuss with me?" Severus put the sandwich down.

"No, no, nothing at all father." He said the last word with spite and hurried towards the door, grabbing his bag on the way. He feared to turn and see the look on his father's face after he'd had such an outburst, and so left without turning back. Surely this has sealed my fate, he told himself, feeling depressed. I hate depression, he thought, it's worse than being anxious. And so started Kenai's day.

* * *

Harry woke with a clear head, and wondered how it was that he felt so good, and warm when he was supposed to be cold and hurting right now. Eyes daring to creak open and find himself back at school, he let out a sigh of relief, and wondered why there was a strange song stuck in his head. Something about lions and Quidditch?

"So you're awake Mr. Potter, very good indeed. You gave us a scare when you came back full of poison asp berries and a severe infection."

Reaching to the bedside table where his glasses were usually to be found when he ended up in the Hospital Wing, Harry brought his world into a clear focus once again, and scanned the room. That figured. His father wasn't there. He was never there.

"How did I get back?" Harry croaked, surprised to find his throat and voice scratchy. "How long was I gone?"

"Almost two days Mr. Potter, and Severus found you in the mountains in a snow cave from what I heard him telling Albus. Very clever Harry. I'm proud of you for figuring out a way to stay warm, especially in the state you were in."

Harry cleared his throat. He wasn't used to having people tell him they were proud of him, and he suspected Madam Pomfrey knew that. What was disconcerting however was that he thought he had just heard her tell him that his father had found him and brought him back.

"Sorry," he said, "who brought me back?"

"Professor Snape dear. He carried you right in and lay you on the bed. He was here all night. He only left an hour ago."

Harry frowned and took his glasses back off, setting them on the bedside table again.

"What are you doing?" Madam Pomfrey asked.

"Going back to sleep. I think I'm still dreaming so I might as well just go back to sleep."

She patted his knee and put his glasses back on, forcing his eyes open again. "It's not a dream. Would I lie to you about something like that?"

"I don't think you'd lie at all." That's what I'm afraid of, he thought.

After giving him a blue potion, "A health restorative," she informed him, and running some diagnostic scans, she allowed him to get dressed and told him he was free to go, provided that he come back after lunch for more potion, and once again after dinner for a final checkup.

"Do I have to go to classes today?"

"Professor McGonagall has given you the day off, but you may go if you wish. Otherwise you have permission to stay in Gryffindor tower to recover."

"Yes maam." Harry thanked her and left, making a B-line for his dormitory where he would be able to sit and write all of his confusing thoughts out in his journal.

Finally sitting at his desk again with his journal open before him, Harry was confused as he didn't know what to write. He didn't know what to think of this new turn of events if he were to be honest with himself, so that's what he wrote.

‘Dear Dad... are you my dad now? Why did you save me if I'm not your beloved son? What do I do now? Am I allowed to come and thank you, or are we back to detention?'

* * *

"Harry... Harry mate, wake up."

Harry rubbed his eye and looked up into Ron's blue eyes.

"Madam Pomfrey said to take this potion. And maybe you'd better come downstairs and tell Hermione you're all right. I had to remind her three times that Madam Pomfrey gave instructions not to bother you while you rested."

Harry nodded, and took the blue potion offered to him, swallowing it in one gulp and swinging his legs out over the edge of the bed. Ron sat down next to him, and waited quietly as Harry yawned and thought.

"Death eaters?" Ron finally asked in a low voice.

"Two of them," Harry confirmed, and Ron shook his head.

"I heard aurors talking about it when they came back from the forest. The reckon you apparated on accident."

Harry nodded and reached down to put on his shoes, but found that they were already on, because he hadn't taken them off when he'd gone to sleep that morning.

"What have I missed?"

"Only Hermione and Ginny freaking out about you being gone. Ginny's been quiet and she stayed in her room all weekend."

Running a hand through his hair, Harry said, "You're gonna have to hold Hermione off for a little longer. I have to go see Ginny."

"Yeah, I thought as much. She's in the Great Hall. I had to threaten her to eat something or else call mum to come and tell her off."

The boys rose together, and Ron told Harry that he would make sure Hermione let him pass, and then they left the room.

People tried to slap Harry on the back and stop him to ask him questions on the way out, but he made hurried apologies, and escaped quickly.

The corridors felt dark and cold for some reason, and Harry shivered as he walked down through the castle. He passed a few Slytherins, who whispered at his back and gave him a strange look, but otherwise said nothing to him, and he was grateful.

Almost to the grand stairs that would lead down from the first floor, Harry turned a corner and was stopped cold by the sight of his father. His heart rose into his throat and thumped uncomfortably. What do I do? He wanted to do what he'd always wanted... act like Severus Snape's son, but that was a dream too long gone for Harry to believe it could ever happen.

They locked eyes for a moment, and then Harry dropped his head and tried to pass him by. He would have managed too were it not for a hand that shot out and gently gripped his arm to keep him from going.

"Can we talk?"

Harry swallowed, trying to get rid of the lump that had settled uncomfortably in his throat, and looked up, trying to will his eyes to remain dry.

"I uh, I, I..." he looked away again. What is wrong with me? I want to talk to him, I want to ask questions... but is this a trap? The most deadly trap of all would be for Harry to be allowed to grow close to his father, and then be denied the much wanted and needed affection. He wouldn't survive.

"I can't, I'm sorry." Harry swallowed and hurried away, wiping furiously at his eyes.

Just get to Ginny, he told himself, just get to Ginny. I need Ginny. Ginny.

* * *

His friends attributed the change to the ordeal he'd been through in the mountains. "He's still recovering," Harry heard Hermione telling Ron one afternoon when they thought he wasn't within earshot. Ginny was the only one he'd told about his uncertainty about Severus, and Draco had been the only one to guess once he'd seen two separate encounters between Harry and Severus in the hallway. Twice more Severus had approached Harry on friendly terms, and twice more Harry had turned him away. Harry couldn't fully explain it himself, so how could he truly explain it to his friends?

The DA went on in secrecy, and Harry had let Hermione take the lead for a while ‘until I feel better' he'd told her. He wasn't sure he ever would at this rate though. He was too used to feeling one way to suddenly change and then feel all right about it. For his entire life he'd wanted to be acknowledged... to be swept away by his secret father... his secret hero. And now there he had come and swept him up from the grips of death and wanted to make peace it seemed, but Harry was no longer sure that this was what he wanted. How could he ever feel secure in a relationship with his family if there was the lingering possibility that they would deny him again, exclude him again, hate him again.

As Severus approached Harry again one Sunday afternoon, Ginny by Harry's side and Kenai looking uncomfortable and uncertain in the distance where he tried to hide behind a statue, Harry took his turn in denying his father even basic eye contact, or any recognition at all. Was this how his father and brother had felt for all these years? Was this what it was like to act aloof and walk high and mighty, holding the power of denial as your most powerful weapon?

As he turned briefly and spied the hurt look on his father's face, and turned again to walk away with Ginny, Harry decided this was what it felt like, and he didn't like it. Had his family liked it?

* * *

Firelight danced in the Snape quarters fire grate, warm and welcoming. Severus sat on a brown couch, pretending to read, but in reality deep in thought, one son across from him on another couch.

"Why do you hate him?"

He raised his brows from his book, and eyed his son, who had been too anxious in the past weeks.

"I do not hate Harry."

Kenai jumped up then, and shouted, "You used to! I hate you!"

He stormed off down the hall and into his room, and Severus sighed, resigning himself to the fact that both sons were angry... or something with him at the moment, and while he could not hope to understand Harry's feelings, he could walk down the hall and try to understand Kenai.

"You do not hate me," he said, leaning on Kenai's doorframe. "You are angry and upset about something, and you will share this with me now."

Kenai looked up, a frown on his face. "You can't tell me how I feel."

"You are not occluding your mind efficiently at the moment and your emotions are splayed across your entire body."

There was silence as Kenai thought over his options. After many silent minutes in which Severus waited patiently, used to his son's moodiness, Kenai finally spoke, in a low, uncertain voice.

"Did you think I wouldn't figure it out? Harry's only three months older than me you know. How is it that he was born and then you left him and I was born? You're going to give me up just like you did Harry... I'm not even yours."

Face falling then, Severus uncrossed his arms and moved to sit beside his son on his bed.

"How can you not be mine?" He took in Kenai's hair and lifted a long black lock from his son's eyes. He dare not ask how his son could believe he would give him up, when he had indeed given one son up already.

"Well I read in a book how long it takes for baby's to grow, so you couldn't be my dad."

"Or I can be your father and you were conceived three months after Harry was."

Not having thought of this possibility, Kenai took the time to do so now as he looked up with another frown.

"But you were still with his mum until after he was born... I don't understand."

"Neither did she." Severus sighed and rubbed his temple. This was not something he wished to discuss.

"You are well aware of some of the things the Dark Lord has asked me to do in the past, are you not?" Kenai nodded, and Severus continued. "It would have been unacceptable to him to find out that I was married to a Muggle with a child on the way. When it became clear to him that I was the only one of his death eaters without child on the way, he told me to find a wife or he would find one for me. I dared not refuse."

"So... so you cheated on Harry's mum? With my mum?"

"She knew I was a spy for Dumbledore, but did not wish to hear the details of the things I had to do in the Dark Lord's service. I was already well acquainted with a pureblood woman a year ahead of me who had come from Slytherin. She was not a supporter of the Dark Lord, but we began to court in secret. When you were conceived, and she asked me to marry her, I was forced to tell her that this was not a possibility, because I was already married to Lily."

Kenai jumped up off the bed then and hit a wall. "You didn't even love my mother? You didn't want me?"

With a heavy sigh again, Severus said, "That is not what I said. I did want you, and I did love your mother, but not in the same way that I did Lily. Shortly after Harry was born, she found a letter your mother had written to me, and I told her everything. She did not understand, nor should she have been expected to. She took Harry and ran straight to James Potter, the boy who suited her relentlessly in school. They were married shortly after, and Harry's name was changed. I was informed that I would not be allowed to see him again."

"And then you ran to my mom like she was seconds," Kenai spat.

"That is not what happened. Lily and Harry were being taken care of, and as I had planned previously, I went to your mother to support her. We were married, and you were born." He didn't need to tell Kenai the rest, because while he was young, Severus was sure the boy remembered how his mother had taken ill and then died when he was only four years old.

"She knew you didn't love her," Kenai said after long, intense moments of silence.

"That is not true."

"She didn't know I'd remember... but she used to talk to me when I was young. Tell me how she knew you were still in love with another woman. That's why she died dad. She wasn't sick, she was heartbroken."

Kenai left him then, in empty, too warm quarters that felt like they were closing in on Severus, death finally come to finish him off. He held his head in his hands and closed his eyes. "Now I have lost both sons," he voiced his fears allowed. "What have you done you fool? What have I done?"