A long, dark corridor taunted him. There was something at the end, and he knew he needed to know what it was, but no matter how hard he ran, he could not see what was beyond the darkness; beyond his reach.

Harry turned in a circle in the narrow, low stone hallway and felt more lost than ever, despite somehow knowing exactly where he was, and not knowing at all. Was he here, or there?

Eyes narrowed as a low growl came from the shadowed depths of the unknown, Harry became suddenly alert and stared hard into the darkness, only to shrink back when a hulking figure with a pale face emerged and began to advance on him with fists clenched.

"I told you boy, you're not allowed to eat at the table with us." It was uncle Vernon and he smiled with a manic gleam in his eye.

Heart clenched with sudden fear and flutter, Harry glanced to his left and was horrified to find himself back at Privet Drive standing in the kitchen near a desperately wanted plate of food.

"I, I didn't mean to uncle, I'm sorry," Harry stuttered, unsure of any other way to dig himself out of trouble except to run. Just to be sure there was no where else to go, Harry looked back and instead of the stove he found the dark hallway, waiting, beckoning him closer to a dark unknown.

"Better go boy." Harry turned back to find his uncle with his belt in his hands now, ready to deliver harsh and unrelenting punishment, of this Harry was sure.

He shook his head and braced for impact, which came in torrents of pain that he felt certain would never stop. He cried out for help, and woke with a start in his darkened room in Snape's house.

Gasping for breath Harry ripped the too hot covers off of himself and fell in a heap on the floor. As the fog of the dream began to dissipate, he could swear that he could still feel the places where he had been lashed, and reached to touch his arms only to find that they did indeed hurt.

Suddenly Harry felt sick to his stomach and scrambled to his feet and out into the hallway with an unceremonious amount of noise as he made it to the bathroom just in time to retch into the toilet. This too he thought would never stop, and he wished that tonight he had not had dinner.

It seemed ages before a strong arm gripped him around the chest and a warm, gentle hand held his forehead up, but was actually only a minute or so after he'd made his hurried dash to the loo.

Feeling panicked as confusion took him over, wondering who was holding him up so gently so that he didn't have to worry about holding himself up over the toilet, Harry cast his mind around frantically and could think of no one who would do this for him. His breathing became rapid, and his chest tightened again, and he was only relaxed when a firm voice finally announced who was there.

"Calm yourself Mr. Potter, or you'll throw yourself into a panic attack." Strong, firm, and certain. Good, Harry thought, it was only Snape. I'm in Snape's house, he told himself a few times just to reassure himself, it's only Snape.

The sickness and terror of the night finally overwhelming him so fully along with Snape's presence, Harry gripped the arm holding his chest for dear life and gave a sob. Sure he was done being sick, Harry fell back onto his hind end on the bathroom tile and tried to let the still firm hold on him reassure him as he tried to calm his breathing.

It was long moments with Harry's heavy, shaky breaths the only sound before Severus asked, "Are you well enough to go back to your room?"

Unsure if he wanted to open his mouth and test the question, Harry looked at the toilet and gave a final heavy breath before he nodded and allowed himself to be helped to his feet. Severus kept a gentle grip on his elbow back across the hallway and into Harry's room just in case the boy's legs decided to give out. He was shaking and Severus didn't want to chance it.

Once Harry was seated on the edge of his bed, the man before him lifted his hand to Harry's forehead and then felt his pulse. "Do you feel unwell from the last potion taken before you went to bed?" It had happened twice since Harry had started taking potions to heal his lungs, but not in the last two weeks and Severus doubted this was the cause, although he still had to check.

Harry shook his head and confirmed Severus' suspicions. He gave the child a hard stare and Harry pretended not to notice until asked, "Do you want to talk about it?"

Looking down at how badly his hands were still shaking, Harry tried to still them and failed. He didn't want to talk about it, he wanted to throw himself back into his Professor's arms of all things, and felt both lonely and sad to know he couldn't. Would the man get angry if he asked for Luna instead? She would hug and comfort him, but he was too afraid to ask, the memory of Uncle Vernon's belt still fresh in his mind as he noticed that Professor Snape was in a dark blue bathrobe with a fabric belt instead of a leather one with a buckle.

Remembering the sting of pain on his arms, Harry reached up to his shoulder and winced as it still hurt. Seeing the confusion and pain in his eyes, Severus motioned for Harry to move his hand aside and rolled up the sleeve of the faded gray t-shirt he was wearing to reveal long, angry scratches.

"What have you done to yourself?" Severus asked quietly, searching the boy's eyes only to find confusion.

"The belt-" Harry paused, too aware of what he'd just revealed about his dream. "I didn't-" he shook his head as he trailed off. He hadn't meant to scratch himself. Why on earth would anyone?

Using his wand Severus conjured a small black container with something akin to tar inside and gently rubbed it into the scratches on both of Harry's arms. "Apparently you were so desperate to escape your dream that you did what was necessary to wake yourself," Severus concluded as he worked, allowing Harry to relax for the time being as he didn't have to come up with or provide any answers.

When he was done, Severus said, "These will be healed in the morning," before using his wand to conjure something Harry assumed would be another salve or potion, but was surprised to find was chocolate.

"Here, eat this. It will make you feel better."

Taking the piece of chocolate uncertainly and remembering when Remus had once done the same for him, Harry said uncertainly, "I didn't battle any dementors." He took a bite anyway, trusting that the man knew his remedies after taking care of Harry for the last three weeks and restoring him to near full health.

Severus cleared his throat as he stood from where he knelt on the floor. "Chocolate is also good for battling demons."

Harry swallowed as he looked up at Snape. Had he said anything about his dream? Only the belt... that could have meant anything, couldn't it have?

"I will be here if you need to talk," Severus said, and upon seeing Harry's determinedly closed mouth, left the room, leaving the door open and the hall light on as he went back to his own room and closed the door.

Harry stared down at the remaining bite of chocolate, and upon repeating the man's words in his mind, stuffed the rest of the candy into his mouth and lay back down on his bed. There had never been an adult to talk to before, Harry thought as he fell into a blissfully more peaceful sleep than before. And in a very Luna like way, his mind said to him sweetly as he dozed, ‘how nice.'

* * *

"Oh, aren't you just so excited Harry? I do love Diagonalley, and I heard that there is a new store that sells things like pixie dust!"

Harry scratched at his chin, and shrugged. He wasn't sure what pixie dust was for, but he was sort of excited to go to Diagonalley, especially after the events of the night before which he still felt shaken by.

Professor Snape had informed them that morning that they would be going into Diagonalley under a charm to make them unrecognizable so that Harry could purchase some new clothing and Luna could buy some more reading material as she'd already been through most of the novels in the library already in the two months since summer had started.

By the end of breakfast, Harry had allowed Luna's excitement to wash over him, and he thought about finally having clothes that fit, and possibly visiting the Quidditch store if Professor Snape would allow it. This wasn't their big Hogwarts shopping trip, as their letters hadn't arrived yet with a list of supplies, so they wouldn't need to go to a dozen shops, and Harry hoped this would help his case for wanting to get into the Quidditch store.

As Harry and Luna tucked their money pouches into their jeans pockets, Severus came out of the stairwell leading down to his basement lab with three small cups full of clear electric blue liquid.

"It will not taste pleasant, but it will keep any of the Dark Lord's spies from discerning our identity," he said dryly.

Luna took hers and drank it down gracefully with a smile, while Harry pulled a face and tried not to gag for fear he would be sick again right there on the living room floor. Snape too seemed to be thinking along the same lines, and gave Harry a look as if to ask if the potion settled, and Harry nodded.

Outside Severus gripped the Gryffindor and Ravenclaw's arms and apparated them to a side alley of Diagonalley between the apothecary and the Ink & Quill, the new competitor to Flourish and Blotts.

"I do so wish to look for pixie dust," Luna said, peering into the windows as if she would be able to spot her quarry from the street.

"You may do so," Severus said, and then added, "we will be in the bookstore in half an hour." As an afterthought he added, "Do not venture down any of the side alleys." While he still had the vague feeling that one day Luna would get herself into trouble with the way her mind wandered, he felt comfortable enough to let her shop alone for a while. The boy with a mess of black hair on the other hand was still a flight risk, and Severus felt no closer to knowing what troubled him and made him so apt to run.

Harry thought that half an hour was an awfully short time to go to his vault in Gringotts and then search for a new wardrobe, and his hopes of going to the Quidditch supply shop were dashed.

They left Luna to search for her pixie dust and as Harry's few sickles jangled in his pocket, he said, "Sir, I need to go to Gringotts."

"That will not be necessary."

Harry frowned. "But you said I'm to get new clothes." Harry wondered if credit was allowed at some wizarding stores where they would simply bill you later.

"I will be purchasing the clothing," Severus said in a careful tone.

Looking confused as his brows knit together Severus knew there was no avoiding the truth with this child, and cleared his throat. "The headmaster put a temporary hold on your vault to encourage you to return when you ran away at the beginning of the summer. He did not know you had opted to... explore, the Muggle world."

Well that was a nice way of putting it, Harry thought bitterly. Hey Harry, you ran off and now you can't get to your money.

"When will I be able to get to my vault again?"

"I do not know. The Headmaster is in another country and is hard to reach."

Harry sighed. Well there it was, he once again had no control over his life because someone else had taken control for him. Seeing the melancholy look on the child's face and remembering the state he had worked himself into the night before, Severus said, "While Luna is doing her shopping, you are free to visit whichever store you choose. We will be purchasing your clothes in Muggle London, so there is no need to visit Madam Malkin's." Harry perked up immediately and Severus wondered why this strategy had worked so well.

Harry lead off towards Gringotts and predictably straight into the Quidditch shop where he wasted no time in ogling over the newest broom, the Thunderstruck 7000, which promised to be twice as fast as the Firebolt. After asking the store clerk an obscene amount of questions about a broom, Harry moved on to looking at posters, and then paid his remaining three sickles on a set of silver Snitch earrings. Severus hoped Harry didn't plan on giving them to Luna, the unbidden image of the boy falling for his adopted daughter coming to mind just to bother him again.

"For Ginny," Harry said when he saw the look on Snape's face, and then laughed. "I bought this for Luna," Harry said, holding out a small magazine Severus had not seen him purchase. The title was of nothing he thought Luna would find of interest, as she had shown little interest in the sport, but then Harry pointed to a spot on the lower right corner of the magazine, and Severus understood.

"It only comes out four times a year... I reckon he wrote the article just before... you know."

"Indeed." He stared down at the name Zenophilius Lovegood and hoped seeing an article her father wrote before his death would not upset Luna terribly. She never cried over his death, but for a while Severus could tell she was not herself, and only after Harry had appeared had she become her daydreaming self again.

Wondering that the boy had only a few sickles to his name and had spent them on other people, Severus lead out of the shop and towards the bookstore where Luna waited outside smiling happily as she peered inside a pouch.

"I found it," she said happily as she saw them approaching. "But I think I'll wait until we get home to try it."

They spent another half an hour in the bookstore, waiting for Luna to pick out several books she thought would be interesting (which appeared to be anything and everything), and then she and Severus paid for their purchases and the three of them made their way out of the magical world and out into the Muggle one.

Severus pulled out a roll of Muggle bills and handed them to Harry with a warning not to lose them, and Harry reddened. He felt awkward having someone just give him money, but also strangely grateful. He'd never had more than a pound when he was younger, and that was only if he found it on the street.

It turned out that Professor Snape knew of a lot of places to shop for clothing in the Muggle world and they went from store to store, shrinking their purchases as they went.

Luna bought herself several new articles of clothing as well while Harry shopped, and by the time they were done it was lunchtime and they were starving.

At a suggestion from Luna Severus took them to a Muggle restaurant where they sat down at a table covered by an umbrella on the sidewalk and waited for a waitress. Harry watched as Luna and Severus both picked up a thin book from the table and began to read. He frowned, and looked down at his own copy to see that it said Menu. The Dursley's had never taken him to a restaurant before so he wasn't quite sure what to do. There were all kinds of delicious looking food with prices next to them, but he still felt nervous when the waitress came out to take their order.

Severus ordered a sandwich, and Luna said, "I'll have the fish and chips please." Not sure if he would be allowed to order something expensive, and being nervous about ordering for the first time, he said quickly to the waitress, "Fish and chips please," and handed her the menu swiftly when the waitress had turned to him. When she left he tried to ignore the look Snape gave him as his face turned even redder. To be honest, he didn't even like fish and chips, but he just wanted to survive the experience without embarrassing himself so it was easier to order what Luna had.

* * *

Harry was allowed into Luna's room that day as the spell was taken down that banned him from entering, and he stepped in carefully to see what exactly her pixie dust would do.

"Sit down," she told him, and he sat cross legged on the floor where she pointed in front of where she was already sitting.

"It cost three galleons," she told him, "but it only takes a pinch to work. Mother used to have some when I was younger and she would sprinkle it over me to make me laugh." Here she took a pinch and held it over her head as she rubbed her fingers together to disperse it. It sparkled like glitter on the way down, and before Harry knew what was happening, Luna was floating three feet off the ground with a wide smile.

Harry stared up with a grin in wonder until she took a rather large pinch and dropped it on him from above, and he floated up about five feet.

It was Harry's laughter that drew Severus down the hallway to listen just outside of Luna's bedroom door. One peek inside told him that they'd already broken out the pixie dust and he hoped they wouldn't be sprinkling it over the breakables in the house. He was just about to leave when Luna's voice drew him in again, curious as to what she had to say.

"Mother says that its pixie dust they use to make brooms fly, but it's so hard to get pixies to give it to you that it drives the price of brooms up."

Harry did a flip in the air and then they both laughed. "Well who needs a broom now? I can just fly around the pitch. Imagine the look on Draco's face. Lee will be announcing that I'm the Potter 2000, the newest model on the market."

Luna laughed then too and Severus was happy to hear his two charges sounding so carefree.

They were quiet for a minute after a few more giggles and laughs, and Severus was almost about to head away again when Harry asked in a more somber, yet curious tone, "You loved your mum and dad, yeah?"

"I do miss them so much. Mother died when I was very young, but I still remember her face and voice. And I didn't expect daddy to go so soon."

There was silence, and then, "Luna?"

"Yes Harry?"

"How do you know they loved you?"

Severus heart felt like it was stuck in his throat to hear the boy ask such a question, as if he didn't know his own parents had loved him enough to give their lives for him. Luna only laughed however, and said lightly, "It's easy to know Harry."

"But how?"

"I knew every time they did the things for me they didn't have to do. Mother never had to kiss me goodnight or sprinkle pixie dust on me so I could fly around the yard, and daddy never had to use my ideas for the magazine or buy me presents or take care of me when I was sick. There's so many things Harry. Those are the things I think about when I miss them." She sounded so sure, and Harry still seemed so uncertain, thoughtful.

"Do you believe that your parents didn't love you?" she asked when Harry was still quiet a minute later.

Harry looked up. "Huh? Oh, I- I know they loved me." There was that uncertainty again. "I mean, they died for me... they didn't have to do that. I just, I don't remember them and... I don't remember what it feels like to be loved."

Coming from this boy even a month ago Severus would have thought this statement a ploy to gain sympathy and attention, but he had the feeling now that it was true, and it pained him to know it. He was surprised that Harry was telling this to Luna, and it seemed that Harry was surprised as well.

"Sorry," he said quickly. "Didn't mean to tell you that."

She watched him with curiosity in her eyes for a moment more and then said, "It's ok Harry. Everyone needs someone to tell things to every now and again. I imagine Ron and Hermione would say the same thing."

Harry shrugged. "It's different..." Severus stepped away from the door and quickly down the hallway before the two teens realized he had been listening in on their private conversation.

In his room he sat down at his desk and pinched the bridge of his nose. Harry couldn't remember being loved? It was obvious to him now that the child had not been shown kindness... had not been part of a family. It seemed as though he had never even been taken out to a restaurant. But to not feel loved? God and everyone else knew how the Weasleys and the Granger girl doted on the star Gryffindor, but as the boy had said, it was different in some way than what he was missing. In a faraway place and time that Severus preferred to forget altogether, he could remember feeling alone and unloved by his father and grandparents, but even then he had his mother and he had Lily. What must this child have gone through to feel as if he were completely alone in the world? Something with a belt he was sure, and such a lack of food and clothes that he never complained about not being given what all children deserved.

It disheartened Severus to know he had been a part of the un-love the boy had received, if you could call it that. The broken boy he had found on the hill in the torrent of rain had changed his mind once already and changed his attitude, and now the lonely boy in the room across the hall would make him reevaluate once again. It was no wonder that he ran away. It wasn't really running away at all, but rather running towards. Running towards anything but the reality that nobody wanted him.

Determined that his temporary charge should not run again, Severus went downstairs to make dinner, much weighing on his mind, and his heart.

* * *

Harry couldn't go back to sleep. He lay in bed in the darkened room staring at the piles of clothing across the room folded on the desk. Five pairs of pants, three pairs of shorts, twelve shirts, new socks and underwear, and even a new pair of shoes. Not just any shoes but the same name brand sneakers that Dudley wore, which meant they were the most expensive ones in the store. Why had Snape bought all of that? Harry had money that he couldn't access, so Snape had given him money, but in reality it was Snape who had made him go and get the clothes in the first place. He didn't have to do that. Harry had always survived in the hand-me-downs he had from Dudley and the other boys in Gryffindor tower, and he would continue to survive without expensive new clothes. Snape had insisted anyway. He had also insisted on the more expensive shoes Harry had given a quick glance at before heading for the less expensive pairs. He did what he didn't have to do. That made Harry uncomfortable as he remembered the Love that Luna explained to him.

He sighed and rolled onto his back to stare at the dark ceiling. He'd only woken because of another nightmare. He'd shouted out in his sleep apparently and Professor Snape had come in and woken him. He'd offered to listen again and then left the hall light on once more and left Harry's door cracked open, just as the previous times Harry had woken. Luckily he hadn't sicked up tonight, but the fact remained, Snape didn't have to do those things. He didn't have to wake Harry, didn't have to be there to listen even though Harry never told, and didn't have to take care of Harry when he wasn't feeling well, or for those weeks when Harry was weak and injured.

He didn't have to pursue me relentlessly cross country either, Harry thought, wondering why the man had not just given up and gone home back to his life and back to Luna. The first time he'd found Harry was purely by mistake, but the second time was by determination.

Thoughts changing track again, Harry considered, that even if the man did have to take care of him when he was ill out of obligation, he certainly didn't have to be nice about it. He hadn't taunted or belittled Harry at all since he'd been brought back and had been calm and quiet while healing him, making sure he had nutritious food and healing potions.

Maybe it was all because he felt bad about how he'd treated him, Harry thought, for not healing his injuries right away. Whatever the reason, he was matching up to the description Luna had given him of a parent's love. Harry's hope peaked with this thought but he forced it back down again.

Nobody will love me, he told himself firmly. Maybe he cares... that's ok. Teachers care about the welfare of their students. I bet he loves Luna though, he countered himself in his head. He adopted her after all... and she talks to him like he's her own father.

As he closed his eyes and tried in earnest to get back to sleep, a voice in the back of his mind that sounded a lot like Luna said, ‘But he didn't have to do those things for you. He did them anyway. What does it mean?' Harry didn't know, and drifted off into an uneasy sleep, in which he was woken again by Professor Snape an hour later because he'd been begging for help out loud. And Severus didn't have to sit with Harry at four am until he quit shaking and went back to sleep either.