Harry, Ron, and Hermione were on their way to the dungeons. They had just finished Herbology, and their next class was Potions. Harry skipped ahead of his friends and clapped his hands. Several other students gave him odd looks, including Ron and Hermione, but Harry paid them no attention.

  "Come on, friends, let's go to the dungeons!" he shouted gleefully, skipping and dancing. "YAAAY!"

  Hermione and Ron exchanged hopeless glances.

  They entered the classroom with the other fourth year Gryffindors and Slytherins. Snape was already waiting for them.

  Harry surveyed the students with a look of satisfaction. "Potions class," he announced grandly. "Fun and exciting lessons we can ALL enjoy!"

  As it usually was when Harry was acting...strange, there were mixed reactions. Some of his classmates were giggling helplessly. Some looked as if they feared for his sanity. And Severus Snape was looking very annoyed.

  "Potter, I have no time for your foolishness today," he began angrily.

  "You never seem to have time for my foolishness any day," Harry pointed out sadly.

  "And today is no different. Potter, you will be quiet, actually make your potion, and not interrupt the class, or the consequences will be very severe." Snape said it in his most threatening tone, but somehow he doubted it would make the boy behave. Nothing ever seemed to.

  Harry looked shocked. "Why in the world would I want to interrupt the class? Or be noisy? Or any of those other dreadful things you said I musn't do? I'm a perfect little angel! Professor Sprout told me so."

  "Then Professor Sprout is clearly delusional," Snape said with a sneer.

  "Clearly," Harry agreed. "And do you know why? It's because-"

  Seeing that he was going to start one if his stories, Snape immediately cut him off. "Potter, shut up and sit down!" he commanded.

  Harry nodded. "You're right," he said solemnly. "I'm sure no one wants to hear why Sprout is delusional." He suddenly grinned. "Let's make fun of Hermione instead, that's much more fun!"

  The rest of the class, who had already sat down and were now watching Harry as if he were an interesting TV show, were speechless with shock.

  Harry leaned forward and whispered confidentially to Snape, "You know what really annoys me about Hermione? The fact that she can't even draw. She's horrible at drawing. Isn't that so stupid?"

  Snape was too surprised to say anything. Harry took advantage of this and broke into song. "Hermione can't draw, Hermione can't draw, Hermione cannot draw!" he chanted.

  Hermione looked shocked and slightly upset. The rest of the class looked surprised that Harry was making fun of one of his best friends.

  "Be silent, Potter!" Snape yelled.

  "Why?" Harry asked. "It's a wonderful song, don't you think?"

  "No, I don't," Snape said.

  Harry looked very offended. "Of yeah? Well let's see you sing something better, right here in front of everybody!"

  Snape was disgusted at the very thought. "I shall do no such thing, Potter."

  Harry began his annoying chant again, except this time he changed the words. "Snape can't sing, Snape can't sing, Snape cannot sing! Come on people, sing with me!"

  His classmates ignored his command; they were too busy staring at Harry like he was an idiot. This didn't faze Harry, and he continued his song.

  "He only reads books, and he cannot sing, not even if he's reading a how to sing book!"

  "SHUT UP, POTTER!" Snape roared, his face an interesting shade of red.

  Harry looked at him reproachfully. "Professor, it's not nice to tell people to be quiet. Especially when they want to be noisy."

  "Fifty points from Gryffindor!" Snape said.

  Harry, (unlike the rest of the Gryffindors) didn't seem the leat bit upset by this. He just commented thoughtfully, "You seem to really enjoy saying that. It's probably your most used sentence,  along with 'be silent'. Why don't you ever say nice things, like Happy Birthday, or 'here's a delicious cookie for you'? I think people might like you more if you did."

  "Detention!" Snape said. "For a month!"

  That didn't upset Harry either. He smiled and started twirling around. "Drumsticks, cake mix, watermelon, taco shell!"

  "Potter!" Snape said desperately. "Sit down!"

  Harry suddenly stopped spinning and turned to Snape with a worried expression on his face. "Professor," he stated.

  "What?" Snape snarled.

  "It's almost Christmas," Harry began. "Like, in about eight months. Are you going to get me a Christmas present?" he asked anxiously.

  Snape stared at him. "Me...get you a Christmas present? Are you insane?! I hate you! Why would I-"

  "Is that a no?" Harry interrupted, crestfallen.

  "Yes, of course it's a no!"

  "Oh." Harry trudged to his seat, looking disappointed. Ron patted his arm sympathetically.

  Snape took advantage of Harry's temporary silence to receive the students' homework. He wasn't surprised when he saw that Harry didn't have his.

  Snape considered. He knew from experience that it was never a good idea to ask Harry why he didn't have his homework. But he couldn't just ignore it either, so he settled for glaring and saying, "You don't have your homework, Potter. Twenty points from Gryffindor."

  The Gryffindors shot Harry annoyed looks, irritated at all the points he was losing their House.

  Harry shook his head, exasperated. "Professor, it's not my fauly I didn't do my homework. Believe me, if it was up to me I would have done all you assigned us and extra!"

  "I seriously doubt that," Snape growled.

  Harry looked absolutely appalled. He stood up, clutched his chest as if he might have a heart attack, and gasped in shocked tones, "You don't believe me?"

  Snape assumed a bored expression at Harry's dramatic behavior. "No, I don't."

  "SHUN THE NON-BELIEVER!" Harry yelled. "SHUUUN!"

  Everyone in the room stared at him. No one said anything.

  "Umm...yeah," he said. Then his face brightened. "But like I was saying, don't blame me for my lack of homework, blame Madam Pomfrey! She's the one who decided to keep me in the hospital wing all week. Really," Harry scoffed, "I fell out of an airplane, it's not that big a deal."

  Snape looked at him blankly. "You...fell out of an airplane," he said. "And you're not dead."

  "Nice observation, Professor," Harry commented cheerfully. Then he leaned back in his chair, folded his arms, and closed his eyes, apparently with no attention of saying anything else.

  But alas, by now Snape's interest had been sparked, much against his will. "Potter," he ground out, "What are you talking about?"

  Harry opened his eyes. "What? Oh, the airplane, you mean?"

  The students all leaned forward in their seats, eager for him to explain.

  "Well, I was flying in a muggle airplane," Harry began, happily aware that all eyes were on him, "when I suddenly wondered if there were spells on the doors that prevented wizards from unlocking them with magic."

  "Potter," Snape said exasperatedly, "if it was a muggle airplane then of course there wouldn't be spells on the doors. Surely even someone with as little intelligence as you are able to realize that."

  Harry rolled his eyes. "Yeah, well maybe if I could think," he said as if it were very obvious, "I would have realized that. But we all know that I'm simply not capable of that skill. But anyway, I did the spell alohomora, and guess what!" he said brightly. "It worked! The door unlocked. I opened it, but then a scary guy who was in charge started yelling at me!"

  Harry paused for a dramatic effect, his eyes wide. "And so," he continued, "as there was nowhere to run in the small plane, I did the only sensible thing I could think of. I jumped out the the door."

  Snape gaped at him, (along with everyone else) wondering how even he could be so stupid, and how in the world he had survived.

  "But as I fell through the sky, I realized that when I hit the ground I woud most likely die. And I didn't want to die, because I still have so much left to live for. So I did the only spell I could think of. You know," he said thoughtfully, "It really is lucky that I spent a whole month practicing it. I transfigured the car below me into a big ball of cotton candy. I landed gently onto the delicious dessert, no damage done.

  "But then," Harry sighed, "complications arose. All the muggles were panicking, and there was someone inside the car I transfigured, so he got stuck in the mess of cotton candy. And then wizards from the ministry ashowed up, and everyone started yelling and asking questions. So to distract them I shouted that there was a fire, and that got everyone panicked again. So amidst the chaos I had caused, I was able to get under my invisibility cloak and slip out of the crowd. But back at Hogwarts, Madam Pomfrey had somehow found out about the airplane thing, and she insisted I stay in the hospital wing.

  "So you see," Harry concluded, "it's completely her fault I couldn't do my homework."

  For once, after Harry finished one of his crazy stories, Snape didn't take points, give detention, or start yelling at Harry. Instead, he was completely silent, apparently too shocked for words.

  Harry watched him for a few minutes. Then, getting bored when Snape didn't say anything, he yelled loudly, "KNOCK KNOCK!"

  Snape, apparently having now found his voice, said, "Ten points from Gryffindor!"

  Harry looked annoyed. "That's the wrong answer. When someone says 'knock knock' you're supposed to say 'who's there.' "

  "Potter," Snape said through gritted teeth, "I am not going to tell jokes with you."

  Harry turned puppy dog eyes on him. "Please?" he begged in his most pitiful voice.

  "No."

  "If you just let me tell you one joke I promise I'll stop bothering you for the whole rest of the class!" Harry said.

  Seeing that Harry wasn't going to stop until he got what he wanted, Snape, though it enraged him to do it, said, "Fine. One joke."

  "Hurray!" Harry clapped his hands and jumped up and down like an excited kid. "Okay, let's start over agin. Knock knock!"

  "Who's there?" Snape said in his most menacing voice.

  "An apple!"

  "An apple who?" Snape replied grumpily.

  "An apple that's purple!" Harry said enthusiastically, then burst out laughing at his own joke.

  Snape looked at him blanky, not getting it.

  Hermione groaned. "Harry..." she started. "That's not even funny."

  Harry first looked offended, but then he stuck his nose in the air and said haughtily, "I think it's hilarious." Then turning to Snape again he said, "Hey, do you want to hear a funny story?"

  Before Snape could answer, Harry began, "Once upon a time, there was a-"

  "No, Potter I do NOT want to hear a story! I want you to shut UP!" Snape shouted.

  Harry stomped his foot like a petulent child. "But that's no fun, Professor. Hey, I heard a rumor yesterday that Professor McGonagall and Professor Binns are getting married," he said, changing the subject. "Did you hear about that?"

  Snape gave a groan of despair and put his head on his desk. There seemed to be no way to make Harry be quiet. He'd tried taking points, giving detention...

  When Snape looked up again Harry and Hermione were on a heated argument.

  "Crookshanks is not a Death Eater!" Hermione said. "The very idea is absurd!"

  "Yes he is!" Harry insisted.

  Snape groaned again and put his head back on the desk.