Albus sighed quietly to himself and covered Severus up with a blanket. He hoped that Minerva would be able to find her time turner within the next 24 hours. He placed a charm to alert him when Severus awoke, it wouldn’t do for him to wake up alone. He knew that this death would break the strong man, having already witnessed his breakdown. He didn’t know what he was going to do if he lost another one of his boys to suicide. He couldn’t honestly say that he wouldn’t follow them to the afterlife. What Harry must have been going through to do this? He looked at the bowl in front of him, and knowing already that Severus wouldn’t appreciate him going through his memories, but he needed to know what shattered the man.
When he came out the bowl, he understood what Severus must be feeling. But like he told him before he went to sleep he was not to blame. And nobody would blame him, but seeing as Severus was the type of man to think that everything was his fault Albus knew exactly what he felt. Severus and Harry were very much alike, if one thought about it. They always put everyone else before their own happiness, and everyone seemed to take it all for granted, himself included. He had failed both of his boys; he headed to Minerva’s office hoping that she had found the Time Turner.
He walked into her office and stared around in shock, it looked like a hurricane went through it. He was just about to call for her when she appeared red-faced and smiling, but he wouldn’t let himself hope just yet, not until she told him.“I found it Albus, when would you like to go?” She asked excited like a child on Christmas.
“Where is it Minnie?”
“Here it is Albus, when were you planning on going?” She asked handing it to him.
“As soon as Severus wakes up,” Albus replied thoughtfully.
“That’s good, how is he Albus?” She asked a bit worried, she knew how her coworker claimed he didn’t like the boy, but she knew different. Harry was a part of Lily and he loved Lily, so even if he didn’t know it yet he loved her child as well.
“Not good, he had cried himself to sleep when I left.”
“Severus cried?” Minerva asked shock in her voice and expression, Severus would never break down, he was always so strong. What did she miss?
“Yes, apparently he had seen Harry an hour before he decided to end his life. He only didn’t notice because he was still hurting from the curses Voldermort had thrown at him during the meeting.”
“And now you’re telling me he blames himself right?” Minerva asked dread in her stomach.
“Yes, that is correct.”
“Are you mad Albus, and you left him alone?” She couldn’t help but think if Severus would ever been tempted to kill himself. She could see it, because who was he fighting for now?
“I put a ward around him my dear, so I’ll know when he wakes.”
“Oh good then,” she replied in relief.Albus stayed at talked with Minnie for the next hour or so until an alarmed signaled him that Severus was awakening.
“I have to go Min, he’s waking up,” He replied already walking towards the door.
“Go Albus, and good luck,” she stated.
Severus awoke alone in his rooms, did he really just sob all over Albus? As much as he wanted to deny it his eyes were hurting and he had a massive headache that only tears could bring. Summoning a potion from the bathroom he was in the process of drinking it when Albus entered the room.
“Albus, what are you doing here?” He asked hoarsely.
“I’ve just returned from a lovely conversation with Minerva.”
“Oh, what was it about?” Severus asked not actually caring one way or other, just needing something to take his mind off the current situation at hand.
“Minnie has found her Time-Turner,” Albus answered not wanting to keep the man in the dark any longer than necessary.
“Impossible,” Severus whispered refusing to acknowledge the little tendril of hope that appeared in his chest at Albus’s words.
“It’s true I believe she let Miss Granger use it in her 3rd year if I recall correctly.”Severus was in shock, he was beyond shock, and they could save the boy if they still had time.
“How long has it been since Potter…how long have I been asleep?” Severus asked frantically, he couldn’t save Lily but he could do some good by going back and saving her child when he failed him in the first place.
“We have time Severus calm down, I was planning on going as soon as you had awoken. Yes Severus you are coming with me, I believe that the boy would be more inclined to listen to you than me. I have failed him multiple times, but you haven’t my dear boy.”
“Are you daft old man, if you failed him then what did I do to him? I made his past years at school; a hell for him like his father did for me. I repeatedly judged the son on the actions of the father he never knew; he has no reason to trust me.”
“But he will, you know he will tell you. I saw into your Pensive Severus, I only looked because I needed to know what hurt you so. You are not at fault my dear boy, only human. But I think that Harry was calling for you last night, and when we go back this time you will know and be ready.”
Severus nodded unable to speak; he was going to save her son. The boy was going to live again, and he was going to survive this war. He was going to grow up and have kids and live a long and happy life, he would make sure of it. Since when did he care for Potter?
“Are you ready Severus?” Albus asked pulling the necklace around them both
.“I am, let’s go save…Harry,” Severus finished quietly.
They landed right in the Hallway where Severus could just see himself turning the corner away from the boy. He didn’t know exactly what he was supposed to do, besides would the child even listen to him? The boy turned and walked towards the Owlery where Severus could see him saying his goodbye to his owl before pulling out some razor blades. Now was the time to prevent what he missed in the first place.
“What do you think you are doing Mr. Potter?”
“What are you doing here sir?” Harry asked dropping the blades in shock, eyes wide at his teacher’s sudden appearance.
“That is not what I asked Mr. Potter. What are you hoping to accomplish by killing yourself?”
“I don’t….I can’t…no one would understand if I tried to explain sir,”
“I think I would, won’t you tell me?”
“I don’t want to be…I just can’t sir.”
“Ok then answer me this, what are those scars on your arm from?”
Severus watched at the boy lovingly traced them before answering his question, he would have to break the child of that habit of hurting himself when they got back.
“My scars…there just…I did them,” Harry whispered finally.
“Why?”
“I hurt everywhere…I can’t live like this anymore. No one notices a thing is wrong, and I’m all alone, so very alone.”
“You’re not alone Potter,” The Headmaster loves you.
“Right, if that’s the case then why doesn’t he himself come and check on me during the summers. Why doesn’t he treat me like he should, instead of keeping me in the dark?” Here Harry laughed a bitter laugh that sent chills down Severus’s back.
“That doesn’t mean anything; Albus loves you like you were his own Potter.”
“It’s not enough, he doesn’t show it, I bet he only cares that his tool almost offed himself which is why he sent you.”
“No that’s not true at all Harry, Severus answered calmly.
“Then why are you here? I thought you didn’t notice anything out in the hall.”
“I am spy child, I notice everything. I noticed you, when no one else did. I know that you don’t really want to kill yourself, I know that I will be there for you whenever you need me.”
“Why should I believe you? You hate me, we both know it.”
“I don’t hate you child, I hated a ghost, and you are and never have been James Potter.”
Severus watched as the boy took in his words, before the child’s face crumbled. He could see the teen trying to prevent himself from crying but Severus wouldn’t allow this, the boy needed to let his emotions out in a healthy way. Walking over to the trembling child he awkwardly wrapped his arms around the child’s small frame, trying to provide a sense of comfort for the child for once.
“Cry, you need this Harry and you can cry as long as you need too. I am not going anywhere; I am here for you I promise.”
Albus Dumbledore took in the scene in front of him trying not to sniffle lest he disturb them. They both needed this, he watched as Harry finally cried himself to sleep, where Severus picked the boy up.
“Where are you going to put him?”
“In my quarters, I don’t trust him not to try this again.” He answered glancing down at the boy in his arms.
“That sounds like a good idea, but I don’t think he will. He has you and as long as you keep telling him that everything will be ok.”
Laying the boy in his bed, he spelled the room to alert him when he awoke. He turned around to Albus who was pulling out the Turner.
“Are you ready to go back Severus?”
“What if he wakes up and I’m not there and he decides that life isn’t worth it again?”
“He will be there my child, and he will be fine now that he has you.”
They grabbed a hold of the chain, and landed back in Severus’s rooms.
Albus watched as Severus ran towards the room to see if the child was there and was delighted to hear another voice join the conversation. Albus was content he had both his boys and he would make sure that neither of them would succumb to the darkness of the world like one already had. He would protect them, and make sure that they both survived the war, no matter what the cost to himself. His boys deserved a life full of love, and freedom.
Walking out of the quarters he headed to his office to put the Time-Turner in a safe place hoping that he wouldn’t have to use it again. But knowing that if he did it would be in a place that he knew that he could find it if he needed it.