Severus didn't know when he'd been more disappointed, ashamed, and angry with his son. Out of all the insane stunts the child had pulled, and there had been many, including the most recent one, where Harry had tried to earn money for a new broom by selling a certain sexy photo of Severus to half the student body, this was by far the worst. Not only had Harry snuck out of the school for a forbidden trip to Hogsmeade, he had also faked illness to skip class, and perhaps the worst part, forged a note to do so on Severus' own stationary! Severus wanted to throttle him, ground him for life, and blister his behind. But for the nonce he contented himself with getting a good grip on his wayward son's ear and marching him down the hall to Professor Markham's office.

"Ow! Ow, Dad, not so hard!" Harry whined.

Severus ignored his son's sniveling, before he was done, Harry would be complaining of a lot more than a sore ear.

Draco winced in sympathy, he was just glad Healer Snape wasn't grabbing his ear as well. Then he wondered just how much the adults knew about their misbehavior and if Markham was going to owl Narcissa. He shivered, imagining just how angry and disappointed she would be in him and he'd probably get a Howler from her at the very least. At worst, she too would come to school, and Draco had a feeling that she'd bring the Black family slipper with her, an object which had disciplined many a naughty child before this.

He groaned silently and wondered how in Merlin's name he'd managed to let Harry convince him this was a great idea.

As Severus marched down the hall, he thought back to how he had intended to surprise his children with a visit and congratulate them on their win. He had felt bad missing Harry and Lexy's game, even though it couldn't be helped. Though he wasn't a true fan of Quidditch he tried to be supportive of his children whenever possible, and he knew it meant a lot to them when he could come watch them play. When he had received the photo Lexy took of Harry and his teammates after winning the match, he had decided to pay his son and daughter a visit, maybe take them out to The Three Broomsticks for some dinner and perhaps to Honeydukes also. He also had to fetch his stationary from Scrivenshaft's and kill two birds with one stone.

He had Apparated to Hogsmeade and stopped in at The Three Broomsticks for a cold drink, his throat was dry from chanting healing spells all morning as he operated on little Michael Bones, nephew of Amelia Bones who was Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement. It had taken two and a half hours to perform the surgery, but the child was recovering nicely.

After ordering a cold glass of honeyed pear liquor, which was one of the few alcoholic drinks he enjoyed, Severus went to look for a table. As the Healer had started to make his way across the room, which was exceptionally crowded, he heard a voice call his name, and almost groaned aloud. The last thing he needed was to be mobbed by hormone-crazed adolescent girls again. He turned slightly and relaxed as he recognized Captain Marcus Flint, one of his patients, sitting around a table with the rest of the Slytherin Quidditch team.

"Hey, Healer Sev! Did you hear about our win?" Flint called, beckoning him over.

Severus approached, noting the half-empty glasses of butterbeer and plates of chips, burgers, and snacks that littered the table. "Congratulations, Marcus. Lexy tells me that you have only one last game to win the Quidditch Cup."

"Yeah, and we're going to kick Gryffindor's arse!" cheered Jasper Malone, who was third Chaser.

Flint kicked him under the table. "Watch the mouth, Malone. Show Healer Snape some respect."

Jasper flushed. "Sorry, sir."

"We couldn't have done it without Harry, Healer Sev," said another teammate. "If he hadn't snatched the Snitch right out from Thompson's nose . . ."

"We were tied, 30-30," Flint informed him. "Have a seat," he offered. "You lot move over and let Healer Sev sit down."

But before the students could get up, Severus shook his head. "No, I can't stay. I have an errand to run and then I'm going up to the castle to visit Harry and Lexy, I wanted to surprise them."

"Oh, then it's too bad Harry's sick," remarked a Beater.

"Sick?" Severus repeated, alarmed.

"Yup. Him and Malfoy were puking their guts up in the locker room before we left to come down here," Flint said. "I told them to go to Pomfrey. I sure hope it ain't catching."

"But at least they got to miss History of Magic." Malone said. "I'd take puking over Binns any day."

"Binns is enough to make me puke."

Severus quickly tossed down his drink and set the glass on the table. "Excuse me, gentlemen. But I need to be going, I will see you later, if Harry feels well enough to come and have lunch." He quickly departed the tavern, then debated upon whether to go directly to the castle or stop in at the stationary first.

He opted for the latter, figuring that Poppy probably was handling Harry and Draco just fine.

But when he reached the stationary store, Madam Tynsdale informed him that his package had already been retrieved . . . by Harry. Severus was confused. "Are you certain, Barbara? Because I just heard that my son is in the Hospital Wing with a stomach ailment. And second years aren't allowed to go to Hogsmeade unaccompanied by a professor or parent. Perhaps you were mistaken?"

"Oh, no, Healer Sev." Barbara shook her head. "It was Harry, all right. I'd recognize the imp anywhere, even if he did dye his hair red. He came in and said you told him to pick up your stationary. Is there a problem?"

Severus didn't answer for a moment. Something was definitely off here. First Harry was sick and then he was picking up stationary at Scrivenshaft's? And he'd missed History of Magic? It didn't take a genius to figure out what had happened. Harry had faked being sick to cut class. Why, that conniving deceitful little brat! Just wait till I get my hands on him. His hair won't be the only thing that's red after I get through with him! vowed the Healer. "No, it's no problem. Thank you for having it ready. Good afternoon," he told the shopkeeper, then he turned and walked out, Apparating to the gates of Hogwarts.

He stalked into the castle, keeping a tight rein on his temper. He couldn't believe Harry had actually cut class, his son knew better. Severus had done his best to instill in all his children his own love of learning, and he never would have thought Harry would do such a thing. Seething, he decided to give Harry the benefit of the doubt, and went up to the Hospital Wing on the off chance that Barbara Tynsdale had been wrong.

But when he arrived at the Hospital Wing, it was empty of patients, and there was sign on Madam Pomfrey's office door that read Out For Tea-be back at 5 PM. He was about to turn around and head back downstairs, when he heard footsteps coming down the corridor.

Lexy came bursting into the Hospital Wing, her hair flying all over, and stopped dead when she saw him. "Hi, Dad!" she ran and hugged him. "When did you get here? It's too bad you missed the game, it was awesome! I came to see how Harry and Draco are doing, they got sick and missed History of Magic, but then I guess you know that already since you sent the excused absence note."

Severus hugged his daughter back and his eyebrow went up. So that was why Harry had picked up his stationary, so he could forge his own excused note. Oh, they were going to have a long discussion about this! "Where is that note, Lexy?"

"Uh, Binns has it on his desk," she said, puzzled. "Why?"

"Look around you, Alexis. Do you see your brother or Draco anywhere?" he asked pointedly.

Lexy turned and stared at the rows of empty beds. "But . . . I don't understand. They were sick and throwing up, Jenny heard her brother Jasper say so before they all went to Hogsmeade. Did you take them to the hospital, Dad? What's wrong with them, is it like food poisoning or something?"

"No, it's a disease that strikes teenagers every so often," Severus replied grimly. "It's called Absentitus Malorum, and your brother and Mr. Malfoy have an acute case of it."

"Huh?" Lexy frowned. She had never heard of that disease. "Absentitus . . ." Then it hit her. "He didn't! Oh, that stupid irresponsible idiot! I'm going to kill him! No, I'm going to kill both of them! They skipped class, didn't they?"

"Not only that, but your brother forged that excuse note from me, and took an unauthorized trip to Hogsmeade as well." He frowned sternly at Lexy. "Alexis, did you know about this?"

"No, Dad. How would I? The last time I saw Harry, he was going to change out of his Quidditch robes. I went to class and was there when Hedwig came with the note. I figured Madam Pomfrey must have called you as soon as Harry got to the Hospital Wing so you could write the note, instead of waiting till Monday." Lexy said honestly, meeting his eyes. "Ooh, I can't believe they were so stupid! I want to wring their necks!" she said angrily.

"As do I," said her father. "Although I'm sure Narcissa will deal with Draco appropriately."

Lexy almost felt sorry for Draco. Almost. "This could cost us the Cup! Does Professor Markham know?"

"Not yet, but I will be speaking with her as soon as I retrieve that bogus note," replied Severus.

"You ought to ground his ass for the whole summer, Dad," Lexy stated. "And paddle it too. I would."

Severus's mouth twitched in a half-smile. Lexy looked angry enough to take a switch to her brother right then. "Perhaps I should let you carry out the punishment this time, hmm?" he mused.

"I'd be happy to help you."

He patted her on the back. "He's lucky you're not his mother. But I shall make sure he regrets this, Lexy. Wait for me in the Entrance Hall. As soon as I finish dealing with your brother, I shall meet you there and take you out to The Three Broomsticks and to Honeydukes like I planned originally."

"You mean, that's why you came down?" Lexy asked.

"Yes. If your brother had the sense God gave a gnat, he would have done what he was supposed to and gotten to visit Hogsmeade anyway." Severus shook his head. Then he kissed his daughter on the forehead. "I'm proud one of my children knows how to behave."

"Yeah, I got all the brains in the family," Lexy said. "Thanks, Dad. I'll be waiting." Then she turned and skipped down the hall to the staircase. Harry, you are so dead. Dad's gonna kill you, and I don't blame him one bit. Boys! Grandma was right, they really are God's joke on the universe!

After retrieving the forged note, which Severus admitted looked very authentic, he went to find Professor Markham, who happened to be finishing up some homework in her office. The two agreed that the boys probably were still down in the village, and the best place to wait for them would be in the Slytherin dormitories. Markham was very angry and disgusted at both youngsters and declared she was going to take 50 points and issue detention for a week, in addition to any punishment Severus and Narcissa chose to mete out.

Upon arriving in her office, Ivana cast privacy wards over the room and locked the door. She had Severus sit in front of her desk in a comfy chair, but the two miscreants stand before her. Then she cast both Slytherins a forbidding cold look that froze them all the way to the marrow of their bones. "So . . . it seems you two think that because you're my top Quidditch stars, you can break rules when it suits you. Unauthorized visits to Hogsmeade, lying to your teacher, forging an excuse note, and skipping class. Have I left anything out, Mr. Malfoy?"

Draco gulped, her glare could have torched him. "Well . . . ma'am, we weren't lying about being sick . . . not really . . ."

"We did throw up right after the game, ma'am, honest." Harry added, still hoping to mitigate the wrath of his Head and his father.

But Severus knew his son. He could see Harry wasn't sick. "What did you do, young man? You may have vomited, but not from a virus. Did you take a Vomit Inducer or just stick your finger down your throat?"

"Dad!" Harry protested. "I'd never do that!"

Severus' eyes narrowed. He knew the boy was not telling the whole truth. It made him even more furious. Harry knew better than to lie right to his face. He pulled the boy over his lap and landed two stinging smacks to Harry's backside.

"Oww! Dad, no!" Harry cried, horrified. Twelve was too old to spank! Wasn't it?

"Lie to me again, young man, and I'll paddle you in front of your entire House," Severus warned, doling out another two smacks. "Now, you tell me exactly what you took to make yourself sick, or else." He lifted his hand, ready to administer more swats if necessary, though he hoped he wouldn't have to.

"Okay! Just please don't . . . not like this . . ." Harry sniveled, utterly embarrassed. He couldn't believe his dad had spanked him in front of Draco. "It was a Nauseating Nougat. It . . . it had some ipecac in it. That's all, I swear!"

Severus could hear the sincerity in his son's voice and his hand fell to his side. "Where did you get it? Did you make it?"

Harry squirmed, not wanting to get Fred and George in trouble. But he also didn't want a spanking either! "No, sir. I bought it off another student and gave it to Draco."

"I figured as much," said his father disgustedly. He could also guess who it was that had sold Harry the candy. He picked Harry up and set him on his feet. "Don't you ever lie to me again, young man!"

"Yes, sir," Harry murmured, he wanted to crawl into a hole somewhere.

"What you two did is forbidden by all the rules of this school," Professor Markham lectured. "I cannot believe you two, of all my House, would pull a stunt like this. You have disgraced not only yourselves, but Slytherin as well. Sneaking out of the castle was bad enough, but then you add forgery and skipping class to your transgressions . . . I cannot recall when I have ever been so disappointed in any Slytherin. You shall be serving detention all week with me and lose 50 points each."

Both boys gasped. Fifty points! Their Housemates were going to kill them, losing 100 points! And Ivana's detentions were legendary.

"Yes, ma'am. We're sorry," they said contritely, looking down at their shoes.

"That is not all, however. I have spoken to your mother, Mr. Malfoy, and she shall be seeing you shortly to mete out her own discipline." Ivana said frostily.

Now Draco looked as if he wanted to crawl in a hole.

"As for you, Mr. Potter, I shall leave the rest of your punishment up to your father," Ivana continued. "Mr. Malfoy, you are also on suspension from Quidditch, as per your mother's instructions."

Draco looked horrified. "I . . . can't play Quidditch?" he cried, stricken. "But . . . what about the last game?"

"You shall be watching from the stands, I'm afraid," she said coolly. "I can put in our Reserve Chaser and hope it's enough."

Harry looked alarmed. "Am I . . . suspended too?"

"You are," Severus interjected sternly. "No son of mine is going to cut class and forge my signature on an excuse note and get away with it. Whatever possessed you to do such a thing? Forgery's a crime, dammit! They put people away in Azkaban for that. Is that where you want to end up? You are grounded for a month, and I'm taking your broom back home with me, because you obviously aren't responsible enough to keep it here at school. When I came down here, it was to congratulate you and tell you how proud I was, Harry James Severus. Your irresponsible and deceitful actions have now made me ashamed and disappointed in you, and now I don't know if I can trust you. When will you learn to stop and think?"

Harry had a lump in his throat so large he couldn't speak. Severus words were sharp as knives, and they hurt worse than any smacking. He didn't know what he could do that would make things right, and only then did he see how foolish and reckless he had been. He had thought he'd been clever, pulling a fast one on everyone, instead he'd only succeeded in getting everyone mad at him. He knew his mother wasn't going to be pleased at all, for Alaina was a teacher and cutting class was a cardinal sin in her book. She said it was like a slap in the face to a teacher, and while Harry didn't think Binns had feelings to hurt that way, he felt bad disappointing his mother.

"I'm sorry, Dad. I just . . . thought . . . it wouldn't be such a big deal to skip History of Magic. I mean, Binns is so boring . . ."

Severus sighed. "Harry, boring or not, History of Magic is an important course. You need to study the mistakes of the past so you learn not to repeat them and learn how we came to be as we are. If you never learn where you're from, how will you know where you're going in the future? Also, there will be times throughout your life when you will have to deal with people that are dreadful bores and situations that you may not like, but need to learn how to deal with. I hate my medical staff meetings with the Medical Board at St. Mungos, but I go to them regardless. Most of those old Healers still think the practices of fifty years before are the only way to practice and they refuse to listen to anything new, even when it's proven to work better. They irritate the hell out of me. I could choose not to attend, but if I did that, my ideas and theories would go unheard and unnoticed, and that would be a disaster, because then the medical practice would stagnate. Running away to play at Hogsmeade didn't help you at all, now did it? Was it worth this punishment you earned?"

Harry shook his head. "Are you . . . going to tell Mum?"

"Yes. I won't hide this from her, and she deserves to know. Lexy is also quite furious with you," Severus informed her. "Actually, she said she was going to kill you and Draco."

Draco winced. "We've ruined the team's chances at the cup, haven't we?"

"Pretty much," Harry said miserably. They had a Reserve Seeker, but Gloria Malverne wasn't as quick as he was, or had as much practice.

"Maybe next time you are tempted to skip class, you will think twice?" said Professor Markham.

"Yes, ma'am." Both boys said.

Harry decided quickly he was going to try and avoid his sister for the next few days, give her a chance to cool off. Otherwise he might end up dodging hexes or wearing an ass's ears and a tail.

"Harry, go to your room and get your Nimbus. Quickly. I left your sister waiting for me in the Entrance Hall. I am going to take her to lunch and to shop at Hogsmeade."

Harry did as he was told without arguing for once, though a part of him was sniveling that it was unfair. If only he had known Severus was coming, he never would have skipped class. But it was too late now.

Severus waited five minutes before scowling and rising. "What is taking that boy so long? If he thinks delaying is going to change my mind . . ." He stalked out of the office, ready to tear strips off his son.

He entered the second-year dormitory, looking profoundly irritated. "Harry, you're not going to change my mind, now give me the broom. Or else I'll give you another week's grounding for your cheek and defiance."

"Dad . . ." Harry's voice came from his bed. "I really don't feel good."

Severus arched an eyebrow. "What's this, a sympathy ploy?"

"No . . . I'm not faking . . . I feel like I'm gonna barf . . ."

"Harry, it won't work, now stop it!" Severus snapped. He stalked over to the bed and yanked aside the bed hangings to see his son, pale and shivering, clutching his stomach.

Before Severus could say anything more, Harry threw up all over.

Severus stepped away quickly, and so missed getting the brunt of it.

Harry gagged and half-sobbed, "I told you I was sick! My stomach started hurting all of a sudden when I got back here and I just wanted to lay down for a bit." He stared at his bed and tears stood in his eyes. This had to be the worst day ever, and it had started out so well.

"All right. Calm down, son." Severus soothed, cleaning up the mess with his wand. "This isn't the first time you've projectile vomited on me." He reached into his pocket, where he kept his emergency potions kit, and enlarged it and set it on the nightstand next to Harry's bed. "How many sweets did you eat, hmm?"

"I don't know. A lot. I can't remember," Harry admitted, groaning.

Severus shook his head. "Harry, what am I going to do with you?"

"Help me. Or do you think I deserve to suffer?"

Severus frowned at him. "I'll let that remark go, because you're sick, but you're out of line, mister. When have I ever refused treatment when someone is ill? Especially a member of my family? I would never use an illness or an accident to teach you a lesson. I'm a Healer, not a sadist!" Severus said, sounding hurt. He pulled the corks from two vials. "Drink these. A Stomach Soother and a Calming Draught." He handed Harry the potions, then Summoned a glass of water and a wet cloth as well.

After his son had taken the potions, Severus told him, "Lie down and rest." He gently wiped Harry's face with the cool cloth and flicked his wand to Transfigure Harry's clothes into cool pajamas. "You should be fine with some rest." He ran his wand over the boy in a diagnostic spell. "As I thought. A bad case of indigestion from eating too many sweets. Next time don't stuff yourself like a pig." He laid the cool cloth over Harry's forehead. He gave Harry the ice water to sip, then tucked the covers over him. "Go to sleep, son. Tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it."

Harry managed a smile at the familiar saying, it was one Lily had used, or so his father told him. "I'll try." He wished he had waited instead of taking matters into his own hands. Then he wouldn't be sick or about to be strung up by his teammates, and he could have gone to Hogsmeade with Lexy and Severus to celebrate their victory. But he knew he had no one to blame save himself. He reached out a hand and grasped his father's long one. "Tell Lexy I'm sorry I ruined our shot at the championship. My broom's over there in the corner. And your stationary's on my desk." He hated giving up the Nimbus, but he knew that was Severus' standard punishment during a grounding, the removing of any and all privileges and pleasures. "Will you ever forgive me?"

"Always, scamp," Severus murmured, then bent and ruffled his son's hair. "Behave, before you give me a coronary, Harry. I'll come back and check on you after lunch." He shrank Harry's Nimbus 2001 and his sheaf of stationary and tucked them into his pockets, then did the same with his potions kit.

He glanced back once before leaving, saying softly, "Pleasant dreams." Then he went back through the portrait hole where Lexy waited for him to escort her to Hogsmeade.

When he told her that Harry was sick, she looked skeptical. "For real this time?"

"Yes. He has a bad case of indigestion and nausea from eating too many sweets."

"Oh. That's just . . . ugh!" Lexy always felt sorry when people were sick. "He sort of deserves it but . . .I feel kind of bad for him."

"Oh? Then you don't want to kill him?"

"No, I still do. But it can wait till he's better." Lexy said with an impish smirk. "If I killed him now, it'd be merciful. On second thought, killing's too good for him, I'll just let him live a long life with his stupidity."

"A true Slytherin's revenge," Severus snorted.

Lexy nodded. "Come on, Dad. Let's get a move on, I'm starving."

Severus rolled his eyes, then followed his daughter out of the castle.