“You killed yourself? And yet you’re standing here in front of me?” Sirius said in confusion one arm outstretched as it reached for Harry.

“Magic is a wonderful thing Sirius,” Harry said softly.

“What did you do cub?” Remus asked quietly.

“I don’t know if I can tell you. I wasn’t supposed to tell you that I was alive,” Harry said with a frown.

“Then why did you?” Sirius asked gently.

“I didn’t want to hurt my last remaining family any longer,” Harry said with a shake of his head.

He was so weak; he couldn’t keep it from them. The sooner they started trusting him not to off his self he was taking himself out. And this time it would be without the dramatics, he would do it quietly and without fail.

“Does Albus know?” Remus asked.

“Yes, he and Snape are the ones who came up with this idea.” Harry said quickly, as he looked at his godfather.

“Snivellus is part of this? What were you thinking? No it was clear you weren’t thinking, why would you try to kill yourself? What the hell is so wrong with your life that you wanted to end it?” Sirius said angrily at the thought of Snape being there for Harry and not him.

Harry looked at ceiling trying to control his emotions, he was having trouble and once again he wished for Snape. The professor would know how to help him, he had never blamed Harry for what happened, and he had understood why Harry felt he had to do it. Why couldn’t Sirius see that?

“Sirius calm down,” Remus said grabbing the man’s shoulder.

“Remus stay out of this; this is between me and Harry. Harry why would do something so stupid? James gave up his life for you, and you’re just going to throw it away? Clearly you didn’t think, otherwise you would have never let Snivellus con you into this idea.” Sirius said vehemently as he stared down his godson.

“We should talk to the Headmaster,” Harry said softly, as he swallowed a lump in his throat. He couldn’t stand the way Sirius was looking at him like he was crazy. He wasn’t crazy; he just couldn’t handle it anymore.

“No Harry, talk to us.” Remus said kindly.

“Not without the Headmaster,” Harry said with a firm shake of the head before disabling the charms on the door.

He sighed before quickly walking out, hoping they wouldn’t follow him but knowing they would. Harry was walking down the hall with Remus talking animatedly to Padfoot and he could feel their disappointed and he felt so low. He hated letting them down and he unconsciously sniffled softly.

"Harry what’s wrong?"
"My name is Emerson, and nothing you can help me with." He said irritably.
"Sorry, I meant Emerson." Remus said softly.

Harry shook his head as they walked; they were going to the headmaster’s office he knew. As they were turning the corner he saw Snape, and felt a sense of dread in his stomach. He didn’t say anything and as he got closer Snape narrowed his eyes.

"Emerson? What have you done?" He asked in horror noticing who was behind him.
"They cornered me in the bathroom, they were gonna hex me. They said I smelled like you and him. They were gonna kill me," Harry blurted out not wanting the potion’s master angry with him too. His emotions were going crazy, and once again he felt like yelling at the top of his lungs and crying until he couldn’t anymore.

His godfather and Remus really had scared him and never wanted to be on the ends on their wands again. He found himself unconsciously moving towards his teacher who was looking at Remus with disgust.

"You’re going to stoop that low? I may have hated Potter but I never threatened to curse him, or any child for that matter." Severus said with a shake of his head before looking at the child.

He looked a bit like he might cry but at the same time his eyes were sad and they looked like Blaize’s had earlier; betrayed. Well at least he wasn’t at fault here.

"Sorry Emerson," Remus said sheepishly as Padfoot whined.
Harry sighed softly as he shifted making his way even closer to his teacher.
"What’s the matter Emerson?" Severus asked with an air of concern.
"They wouldn’t let me go to the bathroom." He said tiredly.
"Are you serious Lupin? You didn’t let him go because he looks like me? We're going to see Albus," Severus said agitatedly.

The walk up there was silent as Harry tried to control his emotions he needed a minute to himself, would his godfather and Remus really would’ve curse him? Did they even like him now? He sniffled again and ran his hand across his eyes, attracted a few stares from Severus and Remus.

"You can use Albus's bathroom, relax Emerson,” Severus said kindly, wondering what this was doing to the child’s mental state of mind.

 He knew how hot-headed the Gryffindors tended to be, and he didn’t know what the two idiots had said to the child already. He was glad he had the good sense to dismiss his class; none of them were in the right state of mind to be anywhere but in their bed. After giving the ridiculous password Severus led the way up the stairs, entering the office when he was permitted.

“What a surprise Severus, and what can I help you boy’s with?” Albus asked cheerfully, though the lines around his eyes were tired.

“We have a problem,” Severus said as he took a seat before gesturing towards Harry to tell him what that was.

“I accidently told Sirius and Remus about me,” Harry said softly, his gaze towards the floor. He didn’t want to see the disappointment in those blue orbs, now that the Headmaster was looking at him again. Because he was trying to become one with the floor, he didn’t see the hurt and concerned expression in the man’s eyes.

“Quite alright child, we’ll just get them under oath and it will be fine.” Albus said kindly.

“No it won’t be fine. Are you out of your mind Albus? I thought that I was the crazy one here. Well now that Harry has taken that role, you’re supposed to be the one who fixes everything.” Sirius said as he flopped down in his chair.

“Harry he didn’t mean that,” Remus started as he saw the Harry’s face start to crumble before he pulled it back in. But you could see his control wavering right before your eyes.

“Headmaster can I use the bathroom?” Harry asked as he stood up, his hands balled back into fists as he struggled to keep himself together.

“It’s Emerson, Remus. He didn’t mean that m’boy,” Albus said gently as he glanced at Severus who was staring at Harry with clouded emotions in his dark orbs.

“I don’t care; it doesn’t mean anything to me.” Harry said, though inside his heart was deciding otherwise. He felt like his heart was breaking, Sirius wouldn’t accept this would he?

“Sit down child,” Albus said quietly.

“No I need to go to the bathroom,” Harry said shaking his head from side to the side. The picture frames in the rooms suddenly started to shake, as did the toys around the man’s office.

“Harry calm down, you know how Sirius can be,” Remus said calmly he like everyone else could see his magic getting out of control.

“My name for the last time is Emerson!” Harry yelled, causing a few things to break. He was hurt, and he hated Sirius at that moment. Couldn’t they just let him have a few moments to himself?

“Albus just let him go; these two idiots over here prevented him from using it earlier. Through that door, and walk down the hall and it will be the 2nd door on the right.” Severus said to Harry quickly before turning to glare at the mutt.

Harry nodded curtly to Snape before turning and taking off through the door and towards the bathroom. Once inside the bathroom, he locked it and slid down the wall as he struggled to hold onto his emotions. He tried to sigh and it came out as more of a sob, this was stupid. He should have just let them continue to think he was dead. He couldn’t have Sirius ashamed of him, making him feel like he was a coward.

“I’m not weak, so I won’t cry. I did this, so I deserve to suffer yet again.” Harry told himself calmly. His barriers felt slightly and the memory of that terrible day in potions came forth as he remembered the woman he had killed. He had caused so much fear and pain that day. Sirius was right, he was crazy. He mashed the heels of his hands against his eyes trying to stop the tears, but they came anyway.