“Do what Professor? Why did I tell Sirius and Remus?” Harry asked, his heart pounding loudly in his chest he was afraid that the other man could hear it. He wasn’t that dense and he knew exactly just what the man was asking. The only problem was Harry didn’t want to answer it, but he knew already that Snape wouldn’t let this conversation go.

"No I wasn’t referring to that at all Emerson. Although according to Albus they wish to speak with you." He said carefully, watching the boy for a reaction.

 "No thank you, I really don’t wanna hear how crazy Sirius thinks I am. I heard enough yesterday," Harry said softly.

 "Emerson what Black said yesterday didn’t mean a thing." Severus said slowly.
"Right," Harry said sarcastically.

 "I’m being serious, now listen up. I knew Sirius Black in school and I can assure you that he often said things without thinking. For you to believe half the things that come out of his mouth would make you an imbecile and I know you aren’t that. As of right now is mind is in shambles due to his stay in Azkaban." Severus replied. He for one could not believe he was trying to justify the man’s actions. Harry was changing him so much; he could care less about the mutt.

Harry looked at his teacher in awed silence, never thought he’d see the day when his teacher tried to reassure him. One thing he couldn’t do was satiate his curiosity.

"You knew Sirius in school?" He asked brightly.

 "I did, I did tell you I knew your mother?" Severus asked trying to divert the conversation; he did not want to discuss just how well he knew Black.

 "Yes sir that means you also knew Moony and my dad, right?" Harry finished excitedly.

 "Indeed," Severus replied quietly, keeping his tongue and in temper in check. Any other time he would have already snapped at the boy but he knew he couldn’t do that now.

 "Can you tell me about my dad too?" Harry asked with a smile.

 "Why haven’t you asked Black or Lupin to tell you about him? They were his closest friends I assure you," Severus said carefully.

 "They told me a little bit, but they're a little biased especially Sirius."Harry said thoughtfully.

 "Minerva would be more suited for this," Severus said quickly.

 "But she doesn’t know about me so I can’t really ask her," Harry pointed out.

 "Yes I am very aware of that,” Severus replied tightly.

“So I don’t have anyone else to ask,” Harry said turning his pleading eyes to his Professor.

“Emerson what I have to say about your father, you really don’t need to hear right now. So for my sanity and yours do not ask me again.” Severus replied firmly.

“Oh, I’m sorry sir,” Harry said quietly. He felt like he had just stepped over a line he didn’t even know was there. He bit his bottom lip anxiously, wondering if Remus would maybe know why Snape didn’t wanna talk about his dad.

“Quite alright, now back to my original question. Why did you feel like you had to shoot yourself and possibly others Harry?”

Harry was uncomfortable, he didn’t want to tell Snape his reason it was much too personal. He squirmed in his seat from being put on the spot, he didn’t like this feeling.

“I’m not Harry anymore,” he whispered the words feeling like they had gotten stuck in his throat.

“I apologize Emerson, but will you tell me why you did it?” Severus asked again.

“I was alone,” Harry mumbled.

“Elaborate a bit more on that for me.” Severus replied kindly.

“Everyone was turning on me, I felt like I didn’t matter to anyone. That no one could see me, I felt like if I suddenly went missing no one would notice that I’d left. They would only see that I wasn’t there when the Dark Lord made himself known to the wizarding world.” Harry said his stomach churning. He didn’t want to be judged by Snape, he had enough of that in the past.

“I really don’t like hearing that name come out of your mouth,” Severus admitted, inside he was going over Harry’s words. He wasn’t sure he knew how to handle this situation; he didn’t think he was the right person for the job.

“You said if I was in Slytherin, I could call him that.” Harry pointed out softly.

“I know I did,” Severus replied with a frown.

Harry bounced his leg nervously; this talk was really starting to freak him out. What if Snape wanted to know the whole reason why Harry didn’t shoot him? Why he chose to listen to him and stay back and fight? He didn’t think he could tell the man that, he wasn’t even sure he could talk to him much more.

“Then why don’t you like it when I call him that and not the other Slytherins?” Harry asked quietly.

“Because they are from dark families, you aren’t. It puts me at unease when you say it,” Severus confessed.

“You think I’m going to dark right?” Harry asked softly, of course the man thought that. He had gone berserk and shot himself, clearly there wasn’t any trust there.

“No,” Severus answered softly.

“Then why?” Harry pressed.

“It’s just uncomfortable hearing it from your mouth. Harry Potter is the Gryffindor golden boy and the youngest seeker in a century. He is never supposed to call the Dark Lord the dark Lord.” Severus explained quickly.

Harry Potter is dead..." Harry said in a flat tone.
"I know he is," Severus replied just as quiet.
"Wish you had allowed me to die with him." Harry murmured softly.

Severus didn’t say anything to that last remark, knowing Harry hadn’t wanted him to hear it. He frowned again, after hearing that was a bit worried that Harry would try to kill himself again. Just because he cried once didn’t mean he was healed.

"Emerson, would feel more comfortable talking to someone about why you felt you had to kill yourself and shoot me, Draco and Delores?" Severus asked gently.

Harry stared at the man across from him silently. A part of him was happy that Snape had asked that but another irrational side couldn’t help but think that Snape didn’t want to deal with him. He wasn’t Harry Potter and he didn’t keep things to himself. He wanted to know so he would ask.

"You don’t want to be the one I confide in, why?" He asked quietly.
"It’s not that I don’t want that, I just don’t think that I'm the best person to talk to you." Severus said carefully.
"We're talking now," Harry pointed out.
"We are, but as you can see we're not talking about what happened that day." Severus clarified.
"I don’t wanna talk about that with you. No offence sir," Harry replied, proving Snape correct in his assessment.

“I know you don’t, which is why I was thinking maybe you can talk to a healer.” Severus answered.

“You think that’s something wrong with me?” Harry asked a bit shocked.

“No I don’t,” he replied softly.

“I don’t want to talk to a healer. Won’t they know who I am?” Harry asked quietly.

“Yes, but they will be under oath, so they won’t disclose our secret.” Severus responded.

“I don’t want to talk to a magical person,” Harry decided quietly.

“Why not?” Severus asked.

“Because they have their assumptions about me, I want to talk to someone who doesn’t know the name Harry Potter. I want to just be me, without fear is all.” Harry confessed.

“I understand Emerson; I’ll talk to Albus and see what we can do.” Severus said quickly.

He didn’t mind that Harry didn’t want to talk to a healer; he could understand the boy’s reasons no doubt. The reason he wasn’t pushing it was because Emerson had agreed to talk to someone, which was the first step. Even if he hadn’t said it, he had admitted in his own way that he had a problem.