The Return

Harry almost fell off his broom when a white ghost like cat came trotting up to him. He was even more shocked when it opened its mouth and spoke with Auntie Min’s voice, “Just letting you know that I have pictures and the video thing. We’ll be returning soon. I suggest that if you wish to do anything with it tonight that you should be waiting in the common room for me when I get back.”

Returning soon? Just what time was it anyway? The boys were shocked to find out that it was nearly eleven pm. “Come on we have to get the living room cleaned up before Dad get’s back,” Harry shouted.

Draco flew to the stands and woke the three sleeping beauties. They all took the air flying over the wall then dropping low to the ground so they could fly at speed back to the castle. Harry had Ron take the Gryffindor boys up one of the secret stairways to the Lion Den. They would get there faster than taking the main stair that had a bad habit of changing direction. The remaining boys hurried through the corridor to the Snake Pit where Harry and Draco bid them goodnight.

The teens couldn’t believe their luck when they entered the living room and found it spotless. They stashed their brooms and cold weather gear in their bedrooms. Harry penned a quick note to Minerva telling her that he Draco and the twins would be waiting. He copied the note and called for Dobby. He asked the little elf to take one to Professor McGonagall’s office and one to her private rooms. With one last look around to make sure everything was up to scratch Draco tossed some floo powder into the hearth and was whisked away to the Gryffindor common room followed by Harry.

As usual Harry’s landed in a heap on the floor. Even with his brother there to catch him. “Graceful as ever,” Draco said snidely as help his brother to his feet.

“He should take ballet lessons,” Fred said.

“A few misses with the throws,” added George.

“And he’ll desperate to get it right,” they finished together as they attempted to pirouette around the room.

“Very funny guys,” Harry snarled doing a good imitation of his father, “The cat sends good news.”

“Really?” Fred asked excitedly.

“When?” George questioned.

“Soon. Have to wait here,” Harry told them.

***

When they returned to the manor Snape excused himself to go get changed. He returned to find the ladies and Douglas enjoying a nightcap together. The Laird passed him a tumbler with an ample drop in the bottom. It was a nice way to end what had turned out to be a surprisingly good day.

Severus was rather shocked when Douglas handed him a suit bag just before he stepped into the floo. “Thank you for coming with Minnie laddie, even if she did trick ye. Hold on to that,” he said pointing to the bag, “ye might be needing it again. The lads have taken a right shine to ye.”

“Thank you Douglas. I’ll mail that letter first thing in the morning Maggie. It was a pleasure meeting you both,” the Potions Master said.

“The pleasure was ours laddie.”

Tossing down the floo powder Severus called out his destination and was away. Minerva was waiting for him on the other end. She spotted the bag and smiled it seemed Dougie had adopted another one. “Severus thank you so much for going with me,” she told him sincerely. “If you would both excuse me I’m very tired.”

“I had a really nice time Min, thank you for pushing me into going,” Snape said giving the witch a kiss on the cheek then making his way to the door, “Goodnight both of you.”

He knew he was leaving two stunned people behind but it served them right, plotting against him and corrupting his sons. At least he was pretty sure either one or both of them had gotten those two involved somehow. He’d find out eventually.

The Plot Thickens

Professor McGonagall hurried to the common room after finding Harry’s note. Opening the door she quickly barked out “Snapes and twins come with me.” Spinning on her heel she marched straight back out. The four teens scrambled behind her. “Here’s everything,” she said handing them the camera and the tapes, “The camera belongs to the Headmaster so be careful with it. What room are you set up in?”

“The Room of Requirement,” George told her.

“We won’t have to leave the floor,” Fred added.

“Harry’s little elf friend is going to help us,” George finished.

“Off you go then. Try to get some sleep.” Minerva sent them on their way then retired to her bed for the night.

***

With Dobby’s help they had everything done within a couple of hours. The twins were used to having to work quickly so as not to be caught red handed. The tape was cued, notices were distributed and photographs were enlarged, printed and placed where they would be seen by the castle’s populace at breakfast.

They were hoping that Snape would think the photos were it and therefore be caught unaware when he attended the ‘special meeting’ in the muggle studies room midmorning. Dobby had charmed the room to into an auditorium. With the desks gone there was more seating and the entire school would easily fit in there. What Harry and Draco hadn’t known was that the school had a video projector that would allow a larger image to be screened. The twins not only knew about it but they knew how to use it.

When all was done they returned to the Gryffindor rooms. Draco was going to spend the night rather than running the risk of getting caught trying to get back to the dungeons. The four teens crept up the stairs and into their respective dorms. Harry lent his brother a pair of pajamas and both boys slipped into the bathroom to change.

“How long do you think we’ll have to avoid Dad for?” Draco asked as they settled into Harry’s bed.

“A few hours at least,” Harry said taking off his glasses, “Night Dragon.”

“Night Griffin.”

Silence filled the room as sleep claimed them.

Please Tell Me I Didn’t

Professor Severus Snape awoke from a pleasant dream into a nightmare as the events of the night before came back to him. He could remember quite vividly having been coerced onto the dance floor by a gaggle of McGonagall men urged on by their women. They had tried to teach him the Highland fling or something. He groaned as he climbed out of bed and another memory hit him.

“Surely I didn’t do that,” he said out loud. Images of a brown eyed lady floated through his mind. Oh yes he had. He and Maggie had stopped on the way to the manor and had kissed. Tentively at first but it had soon deepened. Since it was Maggie who had initiated the kiss he knew she wanted it. Out of respect for her loss he wouldn’t have pushed her into that corner.

As he crossed the floor to the ensuite he remembered the letter. He hurried out to his desk and was pleased to see Harry’s owl when he looked at the stand. “Would you deliver a letter for me please Hedwig?” he asked. He watched as the snowy held out her leg for him. “Thank you my lady,” he said as he secured the envelope, “It’s for Potions Mistress Margaret McBride.” He gave Hedwig a treat and she was on her way.

He decided a hot shower was what he needed to clear the rest of the cobwebs from his head. He didn’t think he had drunk that much the night before. Perhaps it was stronger to what he was used to. The heat from the water soon revived him and half an hour later he was ready to face breakfast in the Great Hall.

As he was leaving he saw the notice posted on the back of the front door. It was standard practice when a meeting was called on a weekend.

‘All staff and students are to attend a health lecture in the muggle studies room at 10.30am today.’

He wondered what the old man was up to as he secured the door and made his way upstairs. He took the teachers’ entrance and in doing so walked right into a trap.

***

The Potions Master’s absence the day before hadn’t gone unnoticed. The students as a whole knew better than to ask where he was so it came as quite a shock when they entered the Great Hall and came face to face with a life size cut out of said man in a kilt with sporran and hose. The vast majority had never seen him without robes on the one exception being the bunny costume last Halloween.

As they sat down they discovered photographs on the table that had been charmed to show a new picture every thirty seconds until the last one then stop. All they had to do was to tell it to repeat and they would show again. There was speculation as to where and how the pictures were taken. Then there was the question to how they came to be in the Great Hall. No doubt the Snape boys were involved and possibly the Weasley twins. Time would tell.

***

As Snape entered the Hall a concealment charm was broken revealing a life size wizarding picture of himself seated in his chair. He knew it had been taken the night before. He remembered that particular moment now. The main course had been served and it had been slices of the different haggis varieties. The first one he had bitten into had been rather hot and he had scolded his tongue.

He had been expecting something like this and if he was going to suffer he knew one naughty kitty who was going to suffer right along with him. Leaving the picture where it was he stalked over to Minerva’s chair and picked her up bodily. He sat down in her chair placing the witch squarely in his lap. “You’re in on this somehow,” he growled softly in her ear, “consider this your penance.”

Professor McGonagall was bright red with embarrassment but she didn’t attempt to get up. If this was the only cost for her devilry then she was willing to pay it. She was relieved actually that she wouldn’t have to be on guard waiting for him to strike.

“Nice pictures, my boy,” Albus said from Snape’s left. He turned to look at the Headmaster and gasped when he saw what he held in his hands. “What is that? Minerva I swear…”

Minerva making the most of Severus’ lapse in concentration transformed into her cat form, jumped from his lap and bolted from the room. ‘So much for being able to relax,’ she thought as she ran for the front stairs of the castle.

***

So Minerva thought she could escape him. He’d wait her out; in the mean time he would work out just who her partner or probably partners in crime were. He looked from Harry to Draco and back again, looking for any sign that they were involved. Both boys returned his looks as if they had nothing to hide.

Severus finished his breakfast and made his escape casting Incendio on every picture he could. Of course once they realised what he was doing the students quickly removed them from the tables.

He descended into the dungeons to brew and plot.

***

Matron Poppy Pomfrey stared at the missive she held in her hand. She wasn’t quite sure what to make of it. At the bottom of a notice about health lecture someone had added a little note. She didn’t recognise the writing or the initials.

‘Dear Madam Pomfrey,

If anybody asks please tell them you’re giving a lecture on the recent outbreak of dragon pox and ways to lessen a person’s chance of getting it.

DFGH’

She decided she would play along since there was no-one in the infirmary at the moment.

The Final Act

Students and professors started gathering in the muggle studies room at twenty past ten. Madam Pomfrey, still curious as to what was happening, was hovering at the front of the room as if waiting to start.

The Weasley twins, Harry and Draco were all strategically placed for a quick getaway if need be. Dobby and two other elves were on standby to remove them from the room. Harry had noticed that Professor McGonagall still in her cat form had made her way back into the castle and was currently perched overhead watching.

At precisely ten thirty an amplified voice asked that everyone be seated, the lights in the room were slowly dimmed giving people time to find seats and settle. A countdown test pattern lit up the screen followed by the title ‘The REAL Severus Snape.’

Severus stared in horror as he watched himself being dragged and pushed onto the dance floor the night before. He didn’t remember a piper being there nor did he remember the McGonagall lads posing him like that. He looked like a poorly trained ballerina who had two left feet. Around him students were snickering and giggling. He could hear Hagrid quietly chuckling. When he looked, really looked he could see the funny side of it. He wouldn’t give into the laughter just yet though.

***

Harry and Draco knew they wouldn’t be able to keep their involvement a secret from their father; so to give themselves enough time to escape Snape’s wrath until he calmed down a lot they added closing credits to the footage. The twins had asked to be included that way they just might live a little longer when their mother found out. As the last few minutes began to play the boys made ready their escape. ‘This film was proudly bought to you by Griffin and Dragon Productions in conjunction with Gred and Forge.’

As the images faded and the room began to darken a very sinister voice rose above the noise that was building, “Harry James Tobias, Draco Lucius Severus just you wait ‘til I get my hand on you.”

~Finite~