Two weeks, two weeks of impossible haste had already crept by, leaving Saturn with a bitter and dark emotion gnawing away at his insides that he could not understand. Only the hesitating impression of absolute self torture and imploding emotions remained behind of his cracked resolve that was evaporating with every second just a little more and more to push him over the edge of insanity. And it had been several times now that he had caught glimpses of emotions and feelings that were not his own, racing across his gut at times in aching anger or insane joy. For the young elf it was disturbing how much his scar was hurting over the last few days and how the differing emotions were so desperately clear and painful at times.
He could have sworn he had been doing so well, finding it almost ridiculously easy in hiding the aching, bleeding wounds upon his left hand that were reopened every single night except for the two weekend days. But that was hardly enough time to heal the damage that had been carved so deep that he was sure the quill had already started cutting through his nerves and tendons, for sometimes he could not even feel his hand as the pain numbed his entire arm. However, with the force behind his emotions and pain, it was getting more and more difficult to conceal the expression of pain cross his features when it became like that during his classes. Especially during potions practicals when he was often dealing with ingredients that required the use of two hands and not one. And over the last three days, it was something he was sure his father seemed to have taken notice of. And, yet, he still had to call him out upon.
Despite the fact that Saturn could deal with the pain, he felt as if something more dangerous was brewing in his system and had been all day. He could hardly breathe with the press of pain against his chest that echoing dangerously through the walls of his heart. Even biting his lip as a distraction was not helping, the pain radiating up his arm was leaving a trail of destructive fire in its wake that made him wince. Causing his left hand to constantly tremble at his side where he easily concealed it.
Hoping that no one would notice the obvious weakness he was guarding so protectively.
Even now as he sat next to Draco at the Slytherin table, Luna bold enough to join him by sitting at his left side, kept him company and complaint underneath the scrutiny of the rest of the school's stares and whispers of hurtful things. Especially to his sensitive ears that picked up the jabs against his mother, wondering if she was as insane as Luna was and the reason why Saturn could tolerate Loony Lovegood. He hid the evidence of his internal anger with great difficulty beneath a mask of indifference, and suffered in his pain by hiding his emotions as best he could. Which was faltering that night as the weakness hidden beneath his long robe sleeve in a swathe of white bandages, started aching again. Dark eyes glazed over with emotions he himself could not understand as they briefly flicked upwards to the staff table. Looking towards his father for reassurance that he was still alright, however, it seemed that he only got close scrutiny in return from eyes the same colour as his and a concerned frown from no longer twinkling blue eyes.
Goose bumps broke across his skin, he had felt the weight of his father's intense stare for a long while now, weighing down his guilt and embarrassment even further and making it difficult not to flush under the close scrutiny that Severus' all knowing eyes visited upon his fragile mind. And in knowing that he could not lie to his father, it made turning away from him now even worse. For Saturn sometimes had an inkling at the back of his mind that Severus Snape could easily practice wandless Legilimency without even waving his hand. All he had to do was stare into his eyes with those deep black orbs, unravelling his secrets and pain...
It was a feeling of vulnerability that left the young Ravenclaw quite breathless and suddenly afraid.
During the rest of dinner, the Great Hall was never once quiet for long, nor was Draco who was excitedly telling him that there was another high level potion that Severus had given them permission to brew over the weekend with his help. Saturn, who was excited by the prospect knew that his hand would hold him back. So instead he tried not to show his disappointment, instead he attempted to convey as much interest as possible at the words that were flitting from his brother's lips in an exited rush. However, he found the task near impossible. Having been feeling off that entire day after having another fall out with the toad-like Professor at his earlier detention, Saturn knew that his world had fallen off its equilibrium and left him grasping for the straws of control that became thinner and more difficult to find than usual.
"Saturn, are you alright?" Draco tone of voice changed and despite the heartfelt concern, did not do much to cease the shivering that wracked Saturn's entire body now. He was cold and the pale pallor that sneaked across his cheeks displayed the fine smattering of freckles that was usually invisible across his nose. He felt really sick in that moment, disorientated and quite dizzy all of a sudden. The feeling of a small, feminine hand creeping into his to twine their fingers together underneath the table made him jump with desperate pain as she accidentally brushed against his openly bleeding wounds. The simple action brought him back to himself in a flash, she too had not realized that his hand was so severely injured and he could not blame her.
The rest of the Slytherin table, who had taken notice of his action though, fell into a haunting silence awaiting for his explanation. All stopping to stare interestedly at the youngest Malfoy as he blinked lazily once, twice and thrice to try and still the pain radiating up his arm and hammering against his skull. With a controlled sigh, his glazed eyes clarified a little and he offered a small smile in reassurance that he was alright. Apparently that was all they needed, for they turned back to their desserts, leaving him in pace with his racing panic that someone might know of his pain.
Saturn knew inexplicitly that there was something wrong with him now and it being more difficult to concealing his emotions, forced himself with a neutral expression crossing his brow. Brushing away the stray strands of his hair that had fallen into his eyes, nonchalantly, to turn and stare directly into the silvery eyes of his brother, who by now had guessed that something was very wrong. Shuddering suddenly at the reminder of the piercing gaze that his other father had often times directed at him at Malfoy Manor when he had been concerned, the young elf wanted nothing more that to disappear up to his common room and never come out.
It was a haunting gaze he could never shake, so instead he averted his eyes to stare absently and guiltily at the sweet covered table top.
"'M fine," He murmured softly, pushing his desert plate away from him in quiet disgust. It was still half-full and staring at him welcomingly with its beckoning fingers of sweet aroma. However, Saturn cautioned himself, knowing very well that his roiling stomach would not allow him more than what he had already finished. The young elf shivered with the brush of the cold wind against his skin, his mind churning with endless theories of how he could have gotten so sick but finding no answer to his question.
Saturn, who could feel Luna lean closer to his side, her hand retracting from his, rather painfully, to briefly rest her fingers on his forehead to check for a temperature startled him completely. Stilling instantly at the touch, frozen in place by the public display of affection before he promptly flushed under the scrutiny he soon found himself under. His heart, which had been stuttering and beating unnaturally fast the whole day, was now set alight with a different emotion that made him want to smile and find the courage to face another day of torture in silence. Her sweet attention however, was attracting too much awareness and he was forced to gently tug her hand away from his forehead. Mourning the loss of her touch deep inside of him, burying the emotions quickly lest someone see. Frowning at her strange, unusual action before understanding just what she had been trying to do, Saturn felt a warmth he had not felt before settle inside his stomach and rush delightfully through his veins.
"Thank you for your concern, but I ok fine Luna." He whispered conspiratorially and smiled softly when a bright smile lighted her pale features, directed only at him in sincerity. Saturn, in his swirl of differing emotions, did not even notice that the rest of the hall was all staring at the small exchange between the two of them in complete silence of awe. Even his father's eyebrow had risen a fraction of an inch in his surprise before Luna promptly shattered the stunned silence by turning towards Saturn once more with a frown dotting her features. Critically observing his actions as if she knew exactly what was wrong with him, and he truly hoped that she did not because Saturn just could not face a visit to the Hospital Wing just yet.
She turned unashamedly towards Draco and quite seriously, with considerable sadness, told him that Saturn suffered from a Wrackspurts Infestation that had taken up a permanent residence in his brain. Draco, who was frowning so hard that it looked as he was about to pass out from trying to understand what Luna had just said, turned incredulously towards his youngest brother in grave concern for his sanity and choice in friends. Saturn on the other hand, forced a laugh to bubble from his lips. Smiling secretly at his good friend before looking up briefly to find a pair of dark brown orbs staring at him from across the hall from the Gryffindor House table.
He demeanour changed as he smiled wistfully, even daring to wave at Neville, who it seemed had crept out of his shell and remembered that even as a Malfoy, Saturn had not hurt him or said hurtful things towards him on the train ride to Hogwarts. Even having scolded his own brother for the way in which he had treated his newly discovered friends. Saturn wondered when Neville would have the courage to talk to him again but was promptly distracted when Draco quite boldly tugged at his long braid to gather his attention that had wondered away from him quite spectacularly.
"W-what is she talking about?" Draco remarked incredulously, who was by now almost white with confusion and concern for his brother's already wavering sanity. Looking quite distraught when Saturn laughed again and pushed aside his concern as if it was nothing. Really, Saturn thought, Draco was worrying way too much about silly things. The young elf, in concern for his brother's display of emotions though, patted him on the back and smiled secretly towards Luna; who it seemed was by now completely distracted by the world around her again. Humming softly beneath her breath as she finished the last of her pudding with great interest to staring at the space on top of Saturn's head.
"They are invisible little creatures that fly into your head and make your thoughts fuzzy." He recited, momentarily forgetting that he was feeling sick and quite lost in his emotions as awareness of the weather outside crept across his thoughts. His vision suddenly lurched, his stomach turned as his mind screamed at him to run! He very nearly choked on his goblet of pumpkin juice even though he recovered it quickly. Hoping that the sweat that had broken across his brow remained unseen as he smiled quite serenely, knowing that it looked more like a grimace, at the rest of the table. They, in turn, stared at him as if he was quite insane and a lost cause that could never be save. Something which Saturn would never admit hurt his fragility quite a bit.
"You're insane, you know that right?" His brother's House mate Blaise dared and Saturn merely shrugged indifferently. He didn't care what was being said behind his back, he had learned to ignore it as best he could since his second and first year at Hogwarts. This sort of play-scrutiny was way better than being a Potter though, where around every corner he was ridiculed and shunned when it suited the student body and loved at other times. He had hated it and this directness of thought and actions was better than any other form of insults he had lived through before.
"Are you sure you alright?" Saturn chuckled and stood with a nod to his brother, Luna following his lead as he looked towards his father once last time. Gripping at Luna's shoulder to steady himself as a wave of dizziness assaulted his mind, he saw dark eyes the same as his narrow in suspicion but ignored them. Shuddering at the sudden reminder of how his father used to look at him with so much hate. "I'm fine. So stop worrying. Besides there is nothing wrong with Wrackspurts, it just gets quite distracting at times." He murmured, hardly able to control his laughter as the rest of the Slytherin table, his brother included, and now stared at him as he had truly lost his mind.
And Luna nodding enthusiastically next to him, did nothing but help his case in cementing the fact. After a few uncertain steps, Saturn recognized the path of their destination and groaned a bit. It was towards the Library, where he was sure with his pain he would not last very long. And having still had some time before curfew and the ability to study in silence, Saturn found Luna leading the way towards the towering bookshelves and tables. Knowing that he was once again going to be teaching Luna some of the more difficult theory of defence. She had been asking him for a while now to help with her homework, somehow knowing that Defence Against the Dark Arts was his best subject, despite the teacher that taught it he was still the top of his class.
"Your brother was nice," She said airily and Saturn nodded.
"When he wants to be," He cautioned though, knowing that deep down Draco hid a dangerous side that he had glimpsed through his first few years at Hogwarts. Thus, opening old wounds that were still difficult to trust. Especially after the incident on the train, for now though, Saturn had forgiven him for his trespass but as was his wont to do, he still waited for the other shoe to drop. Knowing that this peace inside of their little family would not last, especially with Umbridge scrutinizing him all the time.
As Saturn had awoken that Saturday morning, he and Michael Corner, one of his dorm mates he talked to often in discussing homework and Quidditch, headed down to the common room to find several of the students already there, gathering quite excitedly in a circle around something they did not see. Saturn, who had been glad at the prospect of finding someone to talk Quidditch with that was not his brother or the Weasley twins, found a sort of friend in Corner that he had not expected to find that year at all but appreciated all the same. And when he had been urged to join the team try-outs by Corner, Saturn had to sadly declined. Knowing that it would only add fuel to Umbridge's fire in her private campaign against him and he would attract too much attention to him; someone might even recognize his flying technique that he could not risk and knowing that his left hand was in constant pain would not help either.
Despite the desperate longing he felt to take to the skies again and merely soar whilst forgetting the troubles of the world, especially with the stabbing pains in his left hand that had not stopped at all since that morning, he was sadly forced to keep his desperate need bottled up untill one day when he knew he would be back at the Manor again and free to do what he pleased under the watchful eyes of his parents. A soft, beautifully tinkling laugh stilled Saturn's heading towards the Great Hall when he turned his eyes towards the edge of the large circle of students. Dark eyes flashing with curiosity and recognition when he spotted long, curly blonde hair through a gap in the gaggle of students' right in the centre of all the chaos. At the sight of her and in fearing for his friend's safety, Saturn forgot his manners and hastily began parting the students to get to Luna. Trusting Boot, who he had just noticed coming down the stairs, to disperse the rest of the crowd as he was that year's Prefect.
"What's all this?" Boot murmured in his tenor voice highly accented with nobility and several heads all turned towards him at the sound of his voice, several girls stretching across all seven years of students, quickly moved away in a huff of disappointment and anger. Revealing Luna sitting upon the floor. Her curling hair looking quite dishevelled and sleep mussed, in her plain blue pyjamas as her large silvery-grey eyes colliding happily with her only friend. Following the gaze of her eyes though, Saturn was quite surprised to see one of the magical rabbits he had met in the Forbidden Forest lounging quite happily in her lap.
He stilled instinctively, in fact that was not the only time he had seen the same brilliant red rabbit before. It seemed to enjoy itself where it was, seated in her lap as if it belonged there and he imagined that it did, looking puffed up and clearly content. He could clearly recall how it had followed him through the Forest every time he had ventured inside the canopied woodland. Brushing up against his ankles, hopping along behind and beside Saturn where it had even once shielded him from Hagrid, ushering him towards the shelter of a tree trunk to hide behind with surprisingly strong pushes to his feet.
It was as if it had known that he was not allowed in the Forest where he often times returned as needed, and the little magical rabbit had made itself a job by looking after Saturn when he visited the forbidden place to students. And he appreciated its boldness, only wondering why it had followed him to the common room and how Luna had come across it. Noticing the prefect's interested stare in the direction of his friend, Saturn shielded her by bending down to scratch behind one of its overly long, flopping ears in trespass.
The touch however brought a great rush of calm across his wary soul, stilling the wavering sensation that Umbridge left behind with every torture and the hidden reasons of why he was not informing anyone of his plight in fighting off a teacher. Luckily though, the rabbit had shown its loyalty to him by saving him from discovery by the Care of Magical Creatures Professor one Sunday evening late into the night, so Saturn was prepared to take responsibility for its appearance there. It would not do if his newly made friend was in trouble for sneaking into the castle after his scent of familiarity.
"A Whisper Hare, where did you find one Lovegood?" Corner asked suddenly surprised, reminding Saturn that he was also still in the common room even when Boot had disappeared through the blue door. The tall, handsome black haired boy leant down to observe the large rabbit, twice the size of a wild hare, quite closely. It seemed a large ball of fluff with thick, curly fur that shimmered white every time Luna brushed her fingers through it, two fluffy tails twitching in time with its quivering nose that was as pure and white as the freshly fallen winter snow. Saturn, who could barely contain his anxiety, helped Luna to her feat and smiled apologetically towards his friend. The Whisper Hare already leaning towards Saturn expectantly as she shuffled closer to her friend.
"She's come looking for her friend, I presume." Luna noted in an airy voice, leaning into Saturn's side as she passed the quietly subdued Whisper Hare towards the young elf quite unashamedly. Leaving Saturn flushing pink under the intense scrutiny, taking the rabbit in his arms and almost immediately felt his tension drain from his body in a rush of emotions. Now, as he stared down his nose at the quivering whiskers and lazy black eyes, he wondered just what he was supposed to do with his new furry friend when the rest of the common room suddenly burst into whispers around him and pointing quite excitedly. The other fifth year present though, looked at Saturn with a strange mixture of confusion and distrust before covering it with a soft smile and waved over his shoulder as he headed towards the common room door.
"Whisper Hares are not considered dangerous in the castle, Malfoy, but make sure you register it with Professor Flitwick as your familiar before the day is out. It would not do for an unclaimed familiar to wander around the corridors without a Wizard to look after it." With that, the door closed and Saturn frowned deeply. The rest of the common room plunged into a stunned silence as many eyes followed Luna and Saturn out of the Ravenclaw common room as they headed for the fifth floor office of their Head of House. With a sigh and knowing he would never get rid of his new furry friend, he went to claim her as his familiar in the rush of the morning. Which, surprisingly though, Professor Flitwick gladly granted with a smile and cooing joy. Quite happy that a Whisper Hare could be claimed by a student, a Malfoy no less. Who seemed to have amassed a theory that animals did not like much after third year.
The rest of Saturday morning, after breakfast, found Saturn and Luna sitting by the black lake. Wrapped in warm scarves and winter cloaks to ward off the cold that was creeping across the school grounds and digging into their flesh with unnatural intensity. It was but another testament that winter was fast approaching, if not already clinging to vestiges of their consciousnesses, by the approach of Christmas a little over two months away. And so was Halloween only a week away. A strange sensation for young Saturn as he was sure something would go awry on that fateful day, as it usually did every year of his life. It was the day that the Potter's were murdered, one of his friends nearly killed, another possessed by Voldemort but also the cursed day that he was marked by the Dark Lord.
With a deep sigh, Saturn observed Luna over the edge of an advanced potions book, that he was asked to read through by his father before they were to brew the potion that night, and secretly hoped that the information that he had read would stick in his mind for a while to come. Because with the way the overcast sky and wind tugged at her hair, Saturn found himself quite suddenly deeply distracted. He subtle movements in a dance like pattern was saving him from the thoughts and pain of endless reams of torture sessions with the Toad.
Luna continued to sing quite happily, splitting her time equally between feeding the Giant Squid fish treats and offering Lily, his new furry friend, carrots as she lounged by his side and nibbled at the grass. Saturn laughed as he noticed Luna once mixing up her treats and quite happily offering Lily fish and the Giant Squid a carrot. Neither animal it seemed were quite happy with her then, but when she fixed her mistake with a humming giggle Saturn quickly turned away should she see the flush staining his cheek and decipher the thoughts now racing through his mind. It was with a pang that he was dragged back to reality by Lilly hopping on top of his open book, realizing once again just what he had named her. After the woman who had given his life for him to life but also betrayed his parents in such a deep way, but in not honouring her memory, Saturn felt that he was undermining her sacrifice. He smiled secretly though, for the Whisper Hare's deep red colouring did not warrant another name.
In his haste to claim a sweet familiar, Saturn just hoped that his fathers never asked for his familiar's name should he hurt them by the honour he bestowed upon her death.
"Hmm, Saturn? Do you think perhaps that mars was too bright the night before? I saw it all the way from the dormitory last night. The stars did not seem very kind at all, in fact the New Moon was quite sad, quite, quite sad." The young elf, who had been drifting through his thoughts and ideas as he scanned a partially visible page on the Dreamless Sleep potion jerked awake from his thoughts by his friend's strange remark on astronomy. Trying desperately to remember what a bright mars meant in terms of the lay of planets, only to find that when he looked up he frowned deeply in confusion. His infinitely dark eyes, outlined in black from lack of sleep, widened in his drawn face at the sudden heady shift of the atmosphere around the two of them. Just in the distance he could begin to see it, the rapid approach of a thick, misty clouds stretching out across the Forbidden Forest and heading straight for them at an alarming rate.
He shuddered suddenly, feeling unnaturally cold and emotionally drawn as the pain in his left hand seared in blinding intensity, sending little stabbing pains up his arm to settle on his shoulder and a dizzying sensation racing across his mind. His hand became stiff, difficult to move but he finally managed, with great difficulty, to regain his footing on the cold ground. Hastily standing and clutching his injured arm to his chest. Eyes widening as he saw Luna picking up several stones to skip across the water, not knowing or seeing what he was. In the back of his mind, where warning bells were going off loudly and the castle was too far to run back to, Saturn was forced into something else. He knew that he had to protect her! Something dark and dangerous was heading towards him, something he recognized very well that was spreading cold depression in its wake to chill the two of them to the bone.
"Luna!" Saturn cried in alarm, suddenly very serious as he jumped toward the edge of the river bank where he could reach his friend before she could be left in the path of destruction. He gripped her arm and dragged her away from edge of the lake just as the edges began to freeze and all the light and happiness was stolen from the world. "Get away from there!" He yelled too late, his wand suddenly raised and held out in front of him like a protective barrier. He knew this sensation well, knew their purpose and goal in approaching them but what he did not understand was what they were doing so very far away from the reaches of Azkaban. He pushed Luna behind him more, feeling her trembling fingers as she tugged periodically and spasmodically at his cloak and strands of hair to keep herself steady against the onslaught of depression and dark emotions.
"Saturn! What?!" The fifth year jerked suddenly, biting his bottom lip to drag himself back from that dark place where he had just come from, coming face to face with several Dementors hovering mere feet away from their position. They were so close, offering so much sorrow and sadness that he just could not find that little place of happiness inside of him untill Luna's own yells and whimpers of fear reached his ears. His left hand, bleeding anew, clasped hers reassuringly even when the sticky substance of his blood dripping across their connected hands made him dizzy and more disconnected from the world and raced numbing pain across his quivering heart and soul. He jerked suddenly, one of the rocks Luna had picked up moments before had been thrown over his shoulder and had cut open his cheek. The sudden sting of pain snapping him out of his stupor as he summoned some of his greatest memories and raised his wand with a new determination.
"EXPECTO PATRONUM!" His powerful bellow echoed through the clearing as the brilliant flash of silvery-white erupted from his wand tip that nearly seared his eye sight into blindness as he held his breath with anticipation. The cold that had crept into his bones, only now warming slightly as his Patronus raced through the air in a protective circle around them. He was desperately afraid to see his famous stag Patronus galloping around them, where others could guess his identity, but stilled when the dementors fled abruptly and there was no stag protecting them, no. Where his stag should have been, had been replaced by a brilliant silvery-white hare that jumped and glided gracefully through the air instead. Resting upon his shoulder briefly to nuzzle his cheek and Luna's before dissipating into a silvery mist curling around the two of them in protection.
Saturn staggered with stunned surprise, the world around him was fading fast. Sinking to his knees on the frozen ground with the strange sound of clapping and cheers echoing in his head, Saturn soon found himself staring up at the blue sky and wondered briefly just how he had gotten there in the first place. Something unknown was flitting through his stomach, making him sick as pain racked through his mind and body. Luna, who was worriedly leaning over him with her eyes wide in surprise and fear, brushed his hair away from his eyes whilst she spoke but through the rush of ringing through his ears, Saturn could not hear a single word that she spoke.
His mind was spinning, his body feeling as if it was falling through the ground and he could briefly see her lips moving in desperate silent pleas. He reached his hand up to reach for her but the sudden pain assaulting him mind made it fall back to his mind, black spots dancing dangerously before his vision as his dark eyes glassed over and his eyelids fluttered dangerously.
"F-find h-him! P-please find m-my..." He trailed off abruptly, overwhelmed by the rush of pain lancing up his arm and splitting his head in two. Luna though, had understood. Nodded and yelled for one of the students to get Professor Snape only to find that it was futile, he was already there. Making his way through the large crowd that had gathered around the two. Finding young Luna gripping his son's hand and crying over his unconscious bleeding form.
Luna Elena Lovegood was definitely in shock, the tears that she had cried moments before over her friend's unconscious form may have dried up in the wind but it still left a bitter taste on her tongue and made her feel hollow and useless on the inside. Her body shuddered and wracked with shivers in accordance to the after effects of Dementors' presence as she followed after her unconscious best friend, Saturn. Carefully being carried by the Potions Master as if the Elvin Prince weighed nothing more than a child and posed no burden or threat to a man she knew could be exceptionally bad tempered. Downcast and dejected though, her silvery-grey orbs stared expectantly at the back of her Professor with a sense of dread and confusion, her emotions were already in an upheaval at the incessant cold that had seeped through the seams of her clothes and into the deepest depths of her bones.
A sensation that had immediately stilled her happy and joyful thoughts.
She shivered suddenly, flickering before her very eyes was the vague recollection of her mother's sudden death when her experimental spell backfired. She had been only seven years old at the time, but knew that from that moment onwards she would never see her beloved mother again or speak to her when the moon was high in the sky to whisper wishful prayers to. It was all happening again, over and over again as her mind screamed at her to help, but she was unable to. That time Luna had not known enough as a young child to even help her mother as she was chocking on her own blood. Forced to watch with a grim fascination and panic of a child as the life she loved so much of her mother was drained out of her blue eyes.
Her face and lips had been flecked with her mother's blood and life force as she had stayed where she was in shock for the rest of the day until her father came home, by then it had been all too late and there was nothing that could have been done to bring her back. Shaking her head to get of the haunting images playing behind her eyelids, Luna shyly glanced towards the fast moving figure of the Potions Professor. Saturn, her dearest friend, was visible enough for her to catch sight of his very long hair falling almost to the floor, concealing pale and bleeding features.
There was no doubt that Saturn had saved her from much worse, for she was sure that those Dementors were not there out of luck. No, they had come with only a single purpose. A purpose to destroy lives and Saturn had seen it before even she had, had known exactly what was happening as if he had lived through it before and knew what to expect. And the incredible warmth from that beautifully gentle Patronus had called out to her skin, snapping her from her memories as she watched her friend crumple at her feet. She loved Saturn, knew that he was in trouble but was also so helpless once again. What was she to do? The aching feeling in her stomach made her pause and take a deep breath. So sure that she would be throwing up if it was not for her determination to follow her friend to edges of insanity.
A chill raced up her spine and settled at the back of her head; she was vaguely aware of several people crowding the cold and unforgiving hallways to observe them, opening up before them was the rest of the empty and chilled castle. The world was calling to her once more, as the wind often did on the loneliest of her days, causing her to hum softly to herself. A sad little tune spilling from his lips that soothed her ears and mind as she tried to warm her heart again from the pangs of pain and fear. It was the same sensation of disconnectedness and despondency creeping through her veins that had haunted her throughout her second year of Hogwarts. when Sirius Black had been on the lose.
"Miss Lovegood? Here, perhaps this will help." Luna stilled, wondering exactly how she had reached the Hospital Wing without noticing it. Plopping herself into a soft chair beside and empty infirmary bed, she looked up from where she was tracing her fingers across her wand with soft tentative strokes and deeply lost in her own thought. Her eyes instantly collided with her Potions Professor's. Who's eyes were just as dark and mysterious as Saturn's forest green orbs, always telling her so much whilst still hiding the rest of the world. She smiled, Luna loved to stare into their depth for hours at time when Saturn allowed it but under her scrutiny the Professor turned away and she smiled secretly to herself. Knowing exactly what this man meant to Saturn without him even telling her as she stretched out her trembling hand to grip the large chunk of chocolate Professor Snape was holding out to her.
Still half concealed in its gold and brilliant red wrappings, she recognized it as a sweet treat from Honeydukes. The dark red colour of raspberry and milk chocolate swirling together to form a delicious taste of ambrosia that she often craved. She couldn't help but let an airy laugh of wonder past her lips, it was one of her favourites. Bringing her fingers to her lips where the chocolate was already melting in contact to her body heat.
"Thank you, Professor." She said absentmindedly. Watching, quite surprised as Lily the Whisper Hare came hopping into the Infirmary with a secret purpose, stilling at her feet as if contemplating the distance between the floor and her lap. Luna was surprised that the rabbit had took such a large leap into her lap, but soon made herself comfortable there. Luna had noticed then that in an instant, the Professor's sharp eyes were once again trained on her. He said nothing for a moment and allowed her to nibble on her large piece of chocolate, watching quite fascinated as the girl offered a piece of chocolate to her pet and then extended the courtesy to her Professor. Severus waved it aside, not for the first time wondering why his son was so attached to her.
Luna's large eyes turned in the direction of Madam Pomfrey's curses and cries as she busied herself behind the privacy curtain at the bed where Saturn was, concern washing through her as she knew what was to come next. Her eyes flicked guilty towards her own right hand, where it was rubbed red and raw rather painfully. It was nothing compared to what she had seen on Saturn's hand though when he had guiltily told her a week ago what Professor Umbridge had done to him, knowing of the hatred she held for his kind. And she had wept that night, crying for her friend and praying to her mother to tell her what to do. The answer however, stayed silent and she was left blundering in the dark.
She too had suffered underneath the scrutiny of the Toad's wrath for insisting that the Minister had an army of Heliopaths at his side, but Saturn she knew suffered so much more than her because he could not tell anyone.
Just as she contemplated the reason for her teacher's wrath at her claim, she found her mind drifting elsewhere. Luna's friend had passed out and Professor Snape had taken a seat next to her. His head was hung in his hands with his exasperation, she could see his shoulders trembling with the effort of keeping his emotions from showing. Just like her father would have bravely done for her should she have been in the hospital wing after collapsing suddenly. Luna had her suspicion as to why the Professor was reacting this way, but kept silent instead. Not wanting to make this worse for Saturn than when it was going to be. After several moments of silence, Luna became aware of that intense stare again and turned towards the Professor, who had fixed his gaze upon the Whisper Hare resting in her lap.
Those dark eyes not watching the rabbit, but rather observed the red patch of skin stretching across her right hand that she rubbed against the rabbit's fur for comfort. He frowned suddenly, looking towards the shielded bed where Saturn lay with great concern.
"Miss Lovegood, perhaps it is not such a good idea to bring your pet into the Infirmary. Madam Pomfrey will have your head." Luna, who had been soothing the pain in her right hand across the magical fur of Saturn's familiar, chuckled and unwound her long cloak from her shoulders to cover Lily with a wave of her hand. Pressing her fingers beneath the cloak to tickle those long, floppy ears. Giggling delightfully when whiskers tickled her fingers and hand in annoyance, sharp teeth nibbling at her skin in warning.
"She's not mine, Professor." She replied softly. "She probably only followed Saturn here to make sure he was alright. After all, she found him in the common room just this morning. Probably been looking for her Prince for days." Luna whispered conspiratorially, her smile growing at the frown of exasperation that tugged her Professor's thin mouth downwards and made him furrow his brows in anger. It was always so easy to read people when oneself was considered insane, knowing their facial expressions conveyed their true feelings and tolerance of you. Luna knew through her heart that Professor Snape hid a very gentle side that he only let through every once in a while, a gentler side that no one but she could see and a select few realize it even existed.
For an absentminded, sometimes considered crazy young girl, Luna was remarkably apt at reading hearts and the quality of souls. And she knew very well that Professor Snape's soul and heart alike were much lighter and tender than most ever perceived, that most even wanted to think. For deep down, beneath the hard wall around his heart and his amazing ability to hide his every emotions and adapt to every situation, was a purity that Luna saw reflected in her best friend twenty thousand times more.
"Miss Lovegood may I remind you, this is not the time for games."
"I'm not playing a game Professor. Lily here belongs solely to Saturn, he claimed her as his familiar this morning with Professor Flitwick. See, she is even trembling with concern at his condition." Lifting her winter cloak, Luna showed the trembling rabbit to the Professor, who was by now switching through four different earthly colours in her concern for her Wizard. Luna cooed softly at the frightened pet and hid her once more from sight, afraid that the Matron would find her and throw them both out. Knowing in that instant what the Professor had said only moments before was right, Madam Pomfrey would indeed not like it at all should a familiar be discovered in the Infirmary close to a sick patient.
"Miss Lovegood..." The Professor trailed off, his dark eyes flashing as Madam Pomfrey's voice cut through the air with a gasp and a silver instrument fell from her lax fingers to clatter loudly on the ground. There was the rustle of curtains and hurried feet as the nurse rushed towards her storage cupboard in haste, making Luna's ears peak with concern at the rattle of potion vials and pieces of parchment.
"Oh my! Severus! Severus! Come here quick!" Luna's calm mood vanished within a seconds as she felt tears well up in her eyes. Her friend was dying wasn't he? Just like her mother... "We're going to need some of your more potent healing potions, Severus. This is terrible. I've never seen anything like it before." The Professor, whose features had gone completely white with warring emotions suddenly turned towards the open curtain that was supposed to hide Saturn's sickly pallor from view. Yet, just as he was about to move he found he couldn't. His son's friend was hanging desperately onto his robe's sleeve. Her long fingers keeping him in place when his concern was clearly spiking through his entire body in a rush to get to his son's side.
He scowled over his shoulder but softened his expression when he saw her chewing at her bottom lip. For the first time since bending over Saturn's unconscious form, showing a vulnerability to him that he was sure she never dared to show others. For those tears that shimmered in her eyes were very real and very frantic, she was on the edge of panic and desperate emotions. He could see it...
"Professor! Please, please do not hate him!" Luna cried suddenly. "As his father, please forgive him his fears and pain. He's been suffering for so long. But I wasn't allowed to say anything, he wouldn't let me." Severus Snape, who was attempting to pry her fingers from the edge of his sleeve stilled in his movements to stare at her in quiet surprise. How long had he sat there for these four to five minutes wanting nothing more than to chase Pomfrey away and look after his own son? When she whispers urgent words like that they were making the hair at the back of his neck stand on end in confusion and fear. How much did she know? Her silvery-grey eyes blinked owlishly at him in a silent plea before she let him go.
Her eyes now hidden behind her left hand, clearly concealing the tears that were threatening to fall since her encounter with the Dementors.
"Miss Lovegood, I will not say this again. Do not move, do not go anywhere until I get back." Severus bit out. "Do you understand? When I get back, you will tell me everything. Everything Miss Lovegood." He watched her carefully as she gave a resigned nod, her hands trembling by her side once again as his sudden deadly anger washed over her in waves of desperation.
Luna shivered through the fall of her tears as the magnitude of the situation crawled upon her. Saturn was going to get into trouble because she insisted that they went to greet the lonely Giant Squid. She could only cling onto the fur of her friend's familiar as she berated herself for her mistake, if it was one thing she could not stand, it was to watch as the most important person in her life was getting hurt by not only a cruel and extremist Professor but by his own father as well.
For she knew very well, there was only one shade so dark in eye colour and it belonged to Severus Snape. The bearer of Augustus Saturnus Malfoy.
"Madam Pomfrey, please give this child some Calming Draught!"
The world was spinning on its axis; sights, sounds, emotions and pain were all muffled against the cotton haze that had descended upon his mind and shackled his body to the conscious world in a haze of confusion. At the muffled call and yells of his name over and over again, becoming clearer and clearer with every second that passed by, forced forest green eyes to snap open in rush of memories and remembrances of just how he had gotten into the sterile scented environment of the school Infirmary.
Saturn shuddered suddenly, clenching his eyes shut once again with the searing pain that raced across his mind and split his concentration at the brightness of the room.
He trembled at the memory of the Dementors rushing towards him and Luna with one purpose. His desperate attempt to chase them away with a good Patronus that would save them, the only thing that had saved him from crumpling into a useless heap the moment their presence had taken a hold of his consciousness. But something had shattered inside the young elf that moment his Patronus had rushed forth from the tip of his wand, the control he had gained over the pain erupting over his left hand had evaporated in an instant before chasing black dots across his vision and rendering him useless after such a small infringement. Saturn's thoughts stilled once more at the call of his name, bringing him back to himself as he forced his eyes open once again, this time finding his vision blurred, but the pain in his head fading bit by bit.
He sighed at the familiar and gentle hand that was resting across his forehead as a focal point for his focus. His mind was much clearer and more organized than when he had first become aware of the world around him again. Even though his body was still shuddering in cold from the effects of the Dementors and their depressing presence, Saturn felt fire and warmth shooting through his veins when familiar long fingers, sure and gentle, even when a little impatient, pushed a bright blue coloured potion into his hand with small words of encouragement to drink it. He shivered at the sweet taste of chocolate that it chased through his body and nodded thankfully, suddenly jerking his hand away from the man, who he recognized as his Bearer, when he went to undo the white bandage wrapped around his hand.
"N-no!" He croaked loudly, turning his eyes away in shame and fear at the sudden deep scowl of anger that decorated his father's features at his unpredictable action. His father was trembling in anger, those dark eyes lighting with a fire that only Saturn recognized as true anger directed towards him and his actions. Saturn made to standing from the hospital bed but found strong hands, much stronger than he remembered, pushing him down onto the cushions.
He jerked back at the touch, only now realizing that his father had successfully grabbed a hold of his injured hand and was unravelling the bandages with cold precision that made the young elf's entire body rigid with fear at what he was sure to discover hidden there. Written in bloodied wounds, reaching deep into his flesh, were the accusing words: I am a half-blood freak. The moment his father had unravelled the bandages and read the words, he looked up to gaze into his son's eyes. Saturn recognized that look immediately, knew what was coming and desperately let his head drop forward towards his chest to hide his features behind his long curtain of hair and shame.
Desperately trying to hide his flush of humiliation and pain.
"Please don't." Saturn pleaded desperately, his father, however, said nothing. Vanishing the white bandage with a lazy swipe of his wand before those long fingers expertly dipped into a thick, sweet smelling, blue cream that came from a black jar on the bedside stand. Where already an array of four full potion bottles were awaiting their turn in the chain of events in his path to healing. Those expert fingers rubbed the cream soothingly across the open words etched deeply into his flesh, setting it alight with blinding pain that made the young elf cry out before it cooled the pain so rapidly it made his mind spin with the numb sensation creeping slowly up his arm.
His pleading from before, that he had repeated through the process, were only words that increased the depths of his father's frown though, filling the atmosphere with waves and waves of anger that made the young elf quite dizzy once again. Making him want to cry in frustration, to yell in pain and desperation for this was the only thing he never wanted his father to see, or for him to face. If he faced it with Severus Snape at his side, it made the abuse against his character very real and very dangerous for now his own emotional desperation was racing up his spine in dangerously suicidal thoughts.
Wanting nothing more than to hide his shame and pain, disappear forever and ever with no burdens to drag him down to humiliation and desperate fear as they were now.
"Augustus, can you please kindly tell me why you thought you could not come to me with this? Why you thought you had to hide it?" Saturn flinched at the sound of hurt and disappointment in his father's voice, his heart now hammering painfully against his chest like a small bird just having being caught in the jaws of a large cat. He flinched internally at his father's demeanour, those words that were so softly spoken with the Potions Master's own emotions hurt him deeper than any knife could have cut, searing across his soul in excruciating sensation. The hidden anger and a touch of fear was so well pronounced in his father's tone that Saturn felt his world shifting and reforming around him.
He was suddenly back in his cupboard as a small, suffering child. Helpless, in his desperation and crying to a deity that he knew would never come to save him from the darkness and pain that was his lonely life. After all, the Dursley's had just told him he had had a father that never loved him, a mother that died in the wake of his drunken destruction and he himself was just a waste of life and space. He shuddered, pulling his arms around his waist when his father let go of his injured hand, freshly wrapped in new bandages and no longer hurting him as much as it had before.
He was slipping, his sanity falling away from his grasp and wanted nothing more than to disappear into nothing an-.
"Saturn! Answer me. Please!" The young elf jumped, dragged back to reality with a large intake of air the stretched his chest painfully. He could feel those dark eyes upon him in scrutiny, the same look of imagined hatred he had always felt as a lonely Gryffindor getting him into trouble with this man. Saturn bent his head forward to hide the film of tears that were filling up his eyes and clung to his long silver lashes in a moment of reprieve. Slipping down his cheeks and staining his lips with the bitter reality that he had just lost everything he held dear. There was no way his father could ever love him anymore if he was so angry that his voice was a deadly and venomous as the words that he was expecting to cut through the air.
"S-she would have hurt you. Had she known, I'd have been taken away from you. Taken to a place where I don't want to return to as a lie. Can't you understand?!" He suddenly cried in desperation. His breaths spiked in panic in wanting his father to see, to feel the desperation he had felt and know how it had hurt him not to say anything no matter how much he wanted to. Afraid of what she could do to rip apart the little happiness he had found. "SHE WOULD HAVE HATED YOU TOO! GOTTEN YOU FIRED!" The sudden anger in his own voice was surprising as Saturn clutched at his chest as if it truly pained him.
"Made your life worse than it was with sadistic pleasure. I cannot allow that to happen, not when you both became everything I have left to live for." Saturn added quietly, desperately wanting to run away from the confrontation that was laying ahead of him. Wanting to disappear into the shadows, never show his face again and live in the woodland's where he truly belonged. He tugged painfully at his hair to bring him back to himself but that was hardly needed for what was said next, shattered everything he thought he had worked towards to protect his father.
"Saturn? Did you really think for one moment that I could not handle a cruel woman intruding on my family by myself?!" The only noticeable sound besides Saturn's stuttering breaths was the hum of a powerful silencing charm around the curtained section of the infirmary bed. "If you had come to me earlier, my idiotic son, I could have her fired by the next day! What she did and still does is illegal, Saturn! Illegal!"
"Just how long have you been suffering in silence, enduring that woman's torture as if it was nothing and why did you never think to trust me with it? It hurts, Saturn, to know that your own son is too afraid to tell you he is being hurt by another adult for what is in his blood!" The young elf's shoulders dropped as a sudden wave of exhausted emotion raced across his mind and body, making him numb and unresponsive to the world around him. He felt slighted, humiliated, that he had not seen the pain he was causing not only himself but his father as well.
After the long stretch of a few moments spent in uncomfortable silence, Saturn watched, frightened, as his father's shoulders suddenly slumped just as his and all the anger and emotions drained out of him in his exhalation of a breath. Leaving behind the image of a haunted man that now pushed the last of the potions' into his hand without its cork already gone. Saturn knew what it was, knew why he was given it once again but did not take it immediately. Observing his father's form frightfully, waiting for the blow that he hoped would never come. Hoping desperately that he could be forgiven.
"Please do not defy me anymore! Drink it and do not even think of leaving a single drop behind. There is a lot to discuss, a lot left to do after this."
"I cannot believe you left your wound untreated for so long, Saturn, you nearly suffered from blood poisoning." Saturn drank the potion, his entire world hanging onto the last thread of his sanity before his eyes fluttered closed. Desperately afraid of what would happen should his Donor find out what he did. In fact, he was sure that if he had thought about it sooner, the head of the Malfoy family would have made sure the woman was fired from not only Hogwarts but the Ministry as well.
Why had he not thought for a single moment that he no longer had to face everything on his own?