(6) Run Away

He should have known better. They didn’t want him anymore. Maybe they wanted him when he was a child, but now he was 14. Who wants to take in a 14 year old? Not to mention he was the reason his mother, his real mother, was dead. He was a reminder daily of the kidnapping and a woman the two downstairs loved very much.

Heart slamming in his chest, Harry began to pack his bags quickly. A sob caught in his throat and he growled at himself for being so stupid. How could he have become so attached to the idea of a loving family? He had hardly been here a day, and he was already attached. 

Heart aching, tears falling unbidden down his face, Harry shrunk his belongings and quietly made his way to the Great Room. He hoped the fireplace was still active. 

He threw a hand full of floo powder into the flames and called out ‘Potter Sactuary’ ‘Fawkes’. It was a safe house set up by the Potters. Even though they didn’t like him much, they still gave him the password to get into the location, even if it was only to help Henry.

()

Harry didn’t pause in his running as he jumped from the fireplace. He headed straight to the Owlery where he knew owls were kept in case of emergencies. The animals were switched out occasionally. A few there even stayed to breed and twice a year James would take them to an owl trainer. The owl breeding accounted for 1/4 of the Potter fortune. He looked among eyes of amber and asked “Who here can deliver a letter to Remus Lupin, or Moony?”

A smallish black owl hopped from her perch and flew down to Harry’s shoulder. This was an owl he had never seen before. It was jet black like a crow, but looked like an owl. Intelligent blue eyes stared at the boy intently. He put out his hand over the animals head and smiled a bit as the owl bumped him with it’s head. 

“Hello friend,” he said softly. “This letter needs to go to Remus Lupin,” he said, holding out the missive. 

The owl obediently held a foot out and waited for Harry to tie it to his leg. He ran a finger over the bird’s head again and bowed his head in thanks before releasing it into the dark night. 

Harry wanted to cut so bad. His arms were shaking and his heart was in his throat. Just a little cut will help, he thought to himself. But then he remembered who he sent the letter to. Remus was a werewolf and would smell the blood right away.

The young wizard clenched his fists and he ran back to the floo where he waited in the shadows.

()

Remus Lupin awoke to the sound of tapping on his glass window. Casting a tempus with his wand, he found it was only 330 in the morning. He fell back into his bed with a groan, “Who the hell is contacting me at this time?” he moaned.

Then he sat up quickly and jumped out of bed, that last thought replaying. Who would be contacting him at this time?

Remus ran into his kitchen and followed the sound of the noise. Though he could still hear the tapping, he could not see anything outside of the window. He opened it slowly and ducked as something black sped past his head. 

Remus slowly stood again, looking around for what tried to decapitate him. He chuckled to himself as a little black owl stared at him with it’s head cocked to the side as if to say, ‘What is wrong with you?’

“Do you have a missive for me?”

The small owl hooted and stuck it’s foot out. 

Though it had been a year, Remus recognized the writing. “Harry,” he gasped as he removed the letter quickly. 

‘Remus,

I understand why you left. I heard your conversation with James that night. The Ancestry Potion has yielded results only you, James, Lily, and Dumbledore would have expected. Please meet me at the sanctuary. I don’t know where else to go.

Harry’

He read through the letter a couple of times before dropping it on the table and running to the floo. 

The owl stared at the spot where the wizard had been standing, ruffled it’s feathers, the stuck it’s beak under a wing. His master would be there soon anyway.

()

Harry jumped in fright as the fireplace flared green and someone stepped out. It took a moment for his eyes to adjust, but he heard the voice of his godfather and ran into the man’s arms.

Remus pulled him back through the fireplace and they landed in a small sitting room.

“Harry, talk to me,” the man said softly, but with a tone of demand still in his voice.

Harry told Remus all about what had happened since the announcement was made about the potion. How Dumbledore and the Potters wanted him not to make he potion, but he went against the order. He explained how he remembered hearing the conversation between him and James before Padfoot and Henry had come bouncing loudly down the hall.

Lastly he explained about the overheard conversation at the home of the Snapes. 

“They don’t want me Remus,” he said, eyes on his lap.

The werewolf put an arm around his godson. “Harry, you said you only heard bits and pieces of that conversation. Maybe you misunder-”

He was cut off as the boy shook his head and wiped angrily at the tears he had been fighting against. “No. He said he couldn’t stand to see my face everyday. That it was my fault. And it is. If I was never taken then my mother, my real mother would still be alive. Then he couldn’t answer when Snape asked if he even wanted me there. How is this fair, Moony?” He asked with a sob, slipping into the nickname with his emotions. “I would have been loved... but...”

Remus didn’t know what to say or think. He didn’t know the full story from the Snapes and didn’t want to make accusations. Unlike his ‘friends’, he didn’t hate Severus simply because the man was a Slytherin. They had actually even done a few research papers together while in school- they told the marauders that they were assigned with one another, but the truth was, they requested the pairing.

He hugged his godson tightly to his side. “Shhh Harry, Shhh. I’ve got you. I love you. I’m so sorry I left you.”

“Not your fault,” the boy muttered through his hiccups. 

“If I hadn’t confronted... I should have said something sooner.”

“Why didn’t you?” Harry asked, not angry, only curious. 

“I thought you were well treated, Harry. I swear I did. I’m so-”

“No, Remus. It’s not your fault.”

“It’s not yours either,” he returned. Harry simply looked away. “Come on cub, let’s get you to bed.” 

Harry nodded and let Remus drag him into the only bedroom in the house. It was now 5:40 in the morning, so Remus would stay awake- though Harry didn’t know that.

Once his godson was sleeping, Remus closed the door and placed a one way silencing charm on the sitting room- he could hear Harry, but Harry couldn’t hear him. He moved to his fireplace and called Snape Manor.

()

Severus Snape was beyond upset. He had finally gotten his brother back, only to have to deal with his father not being able to handle seeing James Potter’s face on the boy. Then Harry had run. He wondered why. Did he hear part of the conversation? Thinking back, there were a few times where things could be taken out of context.

He walked through the home, peeking in on his father who slept in his room. He was surprised to hear the floo chime and ran to the room, hoping that his brother had come to his senses. 

But it wasn’t his brother, “Wolf” he said, without venom. The other marauders weren’t around, so he could actually be nice to his old friend. They hadn’t spoken since graduation, but for a few letters through the years.

“Hello Sev,” Remus replied. “I think I have something you lost.”

“Al-Harry?” Remus nodded and Severus fell to his knees before the fireplace. “I don’t know what happened... father is having a hard time having to see Potter’s face on his son. Its a daily reminder of the kidnapping, and therefore a reminder of my mother’s death.”

Remus nodded, “I gathered as much. He left and went to Potter Sanctuary where he sent me an owl. He is sleeping at the moment. He told me that no one wants him, Sev. That the Potters have ruined any chance he had at a family. Tell me he is wrong.”

Severus stared, “Of course he is wrong! I had such a hard time seeing him in the hospital wing at Hogwarts, he kept saying no, but I came back everyday!”

“Hospital Wing?” the wolf asked, eyes turning slightly amber. 

Severus sighed. “May I step through?” Remus nodded and took his head out of the flames. It was a few minutes later that Severus landed on the other side. “I left a message with our house elf for my father so he doesn’t think I ran off too.”

Remus nodded his understanding. “I just checked on Harry and he is sleeping, hopefully out for a few hours, but probably not.” Severus glanced at the hallway where the other man had indicated with his chin. His attention was brought back when Remus asked again, “Hospital Wing?”

Long fingers ran down a drawn face, “I don’t know much. Apparently a pact was made where only those who knew why he was there would know. He even had his bed warded because Poppy was tricked into the agreement.”

“What happened though?”

Severus explained how Harry had made the potion anyway and that once it was completed Potter had run in. “Once the potion was spilled on the paper, and he read what it said, the boy ran off. I sent Ms. Weasley off to follow him while I took care of the class and Potter. When I sent Potter off I called Amelia Bones and showed her the evidence and recounted the story of how Alexander was taken.”

Remus took a deep breath and settled back into his chair. “If I knew he was ill treated I would have taken him away.”

“Ill treated?”

“I should have seen it. Looking back, I was just oblivious....” The wold sighed, “He played less than second fiddle to Henry. Hell they even named him after their other son. Harry is top in the school and gets a pat on the head. His birthday isn’t celebrated unless the family doesn’t have any other function to go to. He was neglected horribly. I don’t think there was any physical abu-” Severus stood up, fury in his black eyes. “Severus! Sit down!” 

The Potions Master did, albeit grudgingly. He put his head down and ran his hands through his hair, grabbing bunches of it at the sides of his head. “What do I do Rem?” he asked in a voice barely above a whisper. 

“You talk to him. Explain to him.”

“I can’t-”

“You can, and you will.” Remus cut him off with a hiss. He looked over his shoulder and watched a shadow stumbled down the hallway. 

Harry took one glance into the room and looked at Remus with betrayal in his eyes. Before he could turn and run away, he was in his godfather’s embrace, a rumbling voice in his ear, “Severus and I have been friends since school. I had to be sure you heard right. You told me the conversation you overheard wasn’t complete, so you can’t blame me for wanting to hear both sides. Talk to him.” Harry stepped back and looked into the eyes of his godfather, immediately realizing the battle was lost. He nodded his understanding and went into the sitting room. Before he sat, he heard “And we will be talking about your visit to the hospital wing soon too.”

With that last note, he pulled his feet up onto the couch with his knees to his chest. He pulled at his sleeves to make sure they were down, a movement not missed by either man. 

()

Severus watched as his brother almost turned and ran before his friend got a hold on him. He watched the boy curl up protectively on the couch and tug on his shirt sleeves. 

The last action was what caught his attention, especially because of Remus’ last comment to the boy.

“Ale-” Severus took a breath and cut himself off. “Harry.” The boy looked up through his eye lashes. “Remus told me the last thing you heard was me asking father if he wanted you there?” The boy nodded once. “Then you missed me getting a tongue lashing for even suggesting such a thing.”

Harry looked up, disbelief clear on his face. “Right...”

“I want to try something. I can share the memory with you-”

“I don’t think Remus has a penseive,” the boy cut in.

Severus took a deep breath to cut off the scathing remark. “No, its with a mind magic called legilimency. Normally I can look into the thoughts of people, unless they are experienced with-”

“Occlumency,” Harry said, suddenly sitting up straighter.

Severus nodded and continued, “I won’t look into your mind, but I can show you the memory.”

Harry looked at Remus who nodded his head, “I have heard of this before.”

“Fine, but you cannot look,” he replied, nervously.

“I won’t I swear.” Remus put out his hand which the boy took tightly. He looked straight at Snape and nodded his head. “Legilimens” he whispered and forced the needed memory to the forefront of his mind.

Harry watched the two Snape males stare at each other before his Professor dropped his eyes. “How dare you...” The older Snape hissed dangerously. Severus’ head snapped up. “After all this time, searching, waiting for some word, you find him. You have the audacity to ask if I want him here. He is my son. MY son. He could look like The Elephant Man for all I care and I would want him here! I may not like the way he looks, but I will do my damnedest to handle it!” In a low, pained voice he added, “I just wish there was something we could do about it.”

Harry stared at the older Snape, before looking back at Severus when he began talking. “I’m sorry father. Just the way you were talking. You said you can’t look into that face everyday. Can’t. What am I supposed to think? Plus what you have been asking over and over again.”

“He is a Snape. I’m just angry, Severus. He DOESN’T act like a Snape and he sure as hell doesn’t look like one! Do you see the way he looks down at the floor when he talks to us- and not in defiance? Do you see the way he moves away from us? That’s not right.”

Harry pushed Snape away mentally, not wanting to see anything else. He couldn’t meet the man’s eyes.

“Harry-” Severus began, but was cut off once again by the boy.

“Alexander,” he said firmly, glancing up momentarily. 

“Alexander, you may have also missed some of the earlier conversation. I think... I think the Blood Adoption could be fading. When there is no real... familial love in a Blood Adoption, the magic will fade and the one adopted will return to what they should have looked like.”

Harry turned red at the reminder that he was unloved by the Potters. He looked off to the side, not wanting either man to see the tears forming in his eyes. He missed Severus standing and walking towards him.

The Potions Master kneeled before his brother, “I now believe even more that it is fading. Once you saw that memory, when you looked at me, your eyes changed. They darkened to a deep green before changing back to the emerald you have. Your hair also seems to be a bit straighter.” The boy nodded his agreement with the last statement. 

“I wanted to let you know that the trial will be held the 18th of December. Due to the parties involved they want to rush through it during the holidays so that there is less press involvement.” 

Harry snorted at this. “Like the Potters have any chance of staying out of the limelight.” Then he ran the statement over in his head. “That’s in 3 days!” 

“It is,” Severus said, standing up with creaking knees.

Remus stood from the couch and moved to where Severus had been sitting. Now the Potions Master sat beside his brother and Remus was across from him. “Ha-Alex?” Harry nodded at Remus’ question. “Could you talk to us about why you were in the hospital wing?”

Green eyes widened and looked to the side again. He shook his head. 

“Alex, please. Let us help you.” Severus said softly. 

So softly in fact, the younger wizard was shocked and spun his head to look at the man beside him. All he could see in the dark eyes was concern and worry, and a little bit of curiosity. “Make a vow,” he whispered, staring at his professor.

Severus didn’t even hesitate, “I, Severus Tobias Snape swear that I will not tell what Alexander Hadrian Snape, also known as Harry James Potter, tells me this night unless required to attend to his health.”

Remus repeated the same oath. Harry knew they put limitations on it, but he figured it couldn’t hurt. 

The young wizard wrapped his arms tightly around his legs as he began speaking. “After I realized I had petrified James Potter, I was scared and I ran. The more I ran, the more I realized I should have seen it earlier. I remembered over hearing Remus’ conversation many years ago... Anyway, once I realized that the Potters really didn’t want me, I thought the Snapes didn’t either.” He rolled up his sleeves and began tracing the white lines of scars that ran up and down his arm. “Nobody wanted me... no one ever did. No one loves me. I’ll never be good enough for anyone or anything. Transfiguration- obviously I’m not a Potter. Potions... I thought I was good... but...” He trailed off, not wanting to visit that subject yet. “Ginny found me. She always understands... found me once before... I had been good.”

The two men looked on as the boy talked. Once he rolled his sleeves up, Severus knew he had been right. The boy’s arms were covered in white scars. They watched as he began to trace the lines with his fingers, going into a slight trance before his fingernails began to leave pink lines. Severus grabbed his hand before the boy could hurt himself again. 

Dull green eyes met black. “Why did they stop me?” he asked, honestly.

“Because you were wrong. You are loved and you are wanted. You are a Potions Prodigy, the likes of which I have never seen aside from myself.” Remus let out a snort which turned into a cough. “Alex, you can’t do this anymore.” Severus continued, gripping the boy’s wrist. 

Harry looked back at his arms, still sort of fascinated. He broke the trance and looked back up at his brother. 

He had a brother. 

A big brother.

Who actually cared.

“How?” he asked with a sob, falling forward a little bit. 

Severus caught him in his arms and held Harry- no Alex’s head to his chest. “We will work together. Let us help you. When you feel the urge to do it, come to me or fire call Remus.” He pushed his brother away gently and held the younger wizard’s face between his hands. He waited for the darker green eyes to meet his, “You are loved. You are wanted. You are my brother, my family.” 

Harry collapsed forward again, this time his arms wrapped around his brother’s neck.

Remus looked on with a small smile. He nodded at his friend and left to return to bed, leaving the siblings alone.