The moment Severus woke up, he remembered the conversation, if one could call it that, from the middle of the night. He groaned inwardly. He didn't even know where to start. What could he say to Harry? Simple words were nothing compared to what he now knew Harry had been through. Harry would have lasting effects that he wouldn't be able to counter. He just didn't know how to deal with this. He was out of his depth, and he didn't have any back up. Sure, Minerva would help in any way she could, but she would have even less of an idea of how to handle it than he would. And Dumbledore was going to be absolutely no help at all. Severus seethed whenever he even thought the man's name. He cracked one eye open, and saw Harry was still sleeping. Apparently neither of them had had nightmares all night. Which, Severus realized, was quite a feat for both of them.

Carefully, Severus got up and began to see to more rice cereal for Harry and himself. He and Nitty began to work together. So this was a perfect time to address her about yesterday's drama.

"Nitty," he said when he saw her pop back with the cereal. "I need to talk to you about Harry."

"Yes, Master Severus," she said and hung her head. "I'm very sorry, very sorry."

"Nitty," Severus said, ignoring her apologies, "Harry has been hurt very badly by his relatives. He was treated worse than a slave house elf to a Death Eater family." He had to try to put this in terms Nitty could understand. And it was true. Sure, Death Eaters treated their house elves like rubbish, ignoring them and abusing them with words and punishments, but still, they were treated better than Harry had been.

"Worse?" she whispered, shocked. "How could his blood be bad to him like the Death Eaters?" Nitty looked up at him with wide eyes.

"Yes, worse. I honestly don't know. Wizards and muggles alike should learn from you house elves. We would do well to learn our gentleness from you. And I need you to try to be careful with him. He's very delicate. I can't tell you all the instructions you would need to know. I don't even know everything about how to handle him. You pinned him in a chair yesterday. He's probably been tied to a chair before. Did you think of that?"

"No," Nitty admitted, sounding dejected. Blast, he was trying to be gentle! And it looked like Nitty was going to burst into tears at any minute. He didn't need a crying house elf on his hands. A crying child was bad enough. The delicate composure of Nitty's emotions had been swinging freely since she felt she had disappointed him the day before. He knew she had tried her best.

"Pull yourself together," he lightly snapped. Nitty did. "I don't know what Harry's relatives may have done to him when they tied him in a chair, but it was unquestionably horrible. And pinning him in the chair brought back all those memories. That was why he was scared. He was scared that whatever had happened to him then was going to happen again." Nitty just nodded at the ground. "I don't want you to feel guilty about it. We pulled through it, and you'll know better next time. Try to let me deal with him if you can."

"Yes, Master Severus," she said contritely. Severus nodded and looked up at the doorway. He jumped slightly when he saw Harry standing there. Oh, wonderful, he thought sarcastically. Harry had just heard at least some of his lecture to Nitty.

"Good morning, Harry," he said. "How much did you hear?"

"Everything," he whispered, and Severus mentally huffed at the thought that he had just traded a whimpering house elf for a whimpering child.

"Do you have any questions, Harry?" He sat down and gestured that Harry should sit across from him. Harry complied. If he had heard his whole discourse with Nitty, there may well be something he needed to clear up.

"No, sir," Harry said automatically, and Severus looked skeptically at the boy. The answer was too fast for comfort.

"Eat," he said, pointing at the bowl of rice cereal. "It's more of what you had yesterday. I want you to eat everything you can hold."

"Yes, sir," Harry said, picking up his spoon, and he began eating.

"When did you wake up?" Severus asked.

"When you left," Harry answered. He nodded. Severus silently ate as well, keeping a close eye on Harry, studying his every move, and wondering how he should bring up the topics he needed to talk about. After a few mouthfuls, Harry began scarfing down the cereal. Severus would have rolled his eyes and snapped at Harry under different circumstances. He hated bad table manners, and wolfing his food down was one of them. But he was satisfied that Harry was eating, and he let the manners be. In a matter of minutes, Harry laid his spoon down, and looked up at him. He looked a bit sick, and Severus realized that he had tried to do as he was told.

"Is that alright?" he asked. "Did I eat enough?"

"Yes, for now," he said. The bowl was half full yet, like yesterday, but that was likely all Harry could stomach. Severus handed Harry three vials. "I want you to take all of these," he said. "That one," he said, when Harry picked one out to drink, "is more nutrient potion." Harry threw his head back and drank it. "That one is a stomach calming potion. It will keep you from feeling sick after your meal." Harry repeated the procedure. "And that one is a calming drought." Harry looked at him warily, but drank it without protest. Severus wasn't about to have this conversation without something standing between Harry and a full blown panic attack.

"You want to talk about something, don't you?" Harry muttered, accusingly. A side effect of the calming drought was that is lowered inhibitions, and Harry would be more likely to tell him things. Or ask accusing questions.

"Yes, I do, Harry," he said, settling back in his chair. He crossed his legs and laced his fingers over one knee. He observed Harry for a minute and then ran one hand over his face. "I honestly don't know where to start," he finally admitted. "Why did you want to stay with me last night?" He hoped he was doing this right. He really hoped he was. He didn't know what he was doing! But no one else would be able to handle it better, he reminded himself.

"Because I didn't have nightmares," Harry said guardedly. "I'm sorry I've bothered you." Harry sounded very bitter, and Severus heard his breath hitch.

"You haven't bothered me," he said reassuringly. "You thought about leaving when the thunder woke you up, and you were very uncomfortable for a little while. Why?"

"Because..." and Harry trailed off, looking at the floor, and he blushed a deep crimson.

"It's alright, Harry, you can tell me. I will understand, and I won't hurt you for anything you say."

"Because Uncle Vernon..." he tried again, but he sobbed once. "I don't understand it!" Suddenly Harry was crying. Harry hated how much he cried in front of Snape. "I can't say it," he said after he had regained himself. The calming potion was doing an excellent job.

Of course Harry couldn't explain it, and of course he didn't understand! He was eleven years old, barely! Severus still had to try.

"Harry, would you rather show me? Like you did with your nightmare?" Oh, blast everything, he was going to watch this child's memories of being raped! He hated everything about this situation, except Harry. Seeing this was going to make him, Severus, uncomfortable like nothing else would, and he knew he would be changed by it. Yet he extended this metaphorical hand, because he was willing to suffer it for Harry's sake. If it was as awful to watch it as a grown man who had seen as much as he had as a Death Eater - had done as much as he had as a Death Eater - how much worse was it for Harry, a child, to have experienced that and carry the weight of it by himself?

"Rather than try to say it? Yes," Harry said. But he added, "I'd rather not do anything."

"I know, Harry," Severus said, and he sounded sympathetic. "But you need to. You need to do something. You can't carry this burden around with you forever. I'm here to help you carry it, and I will. Let me help you."

"If you insist," Harry muttered.

"Come here, and sit on my lap," Severus said, uncrossing his legs. Harry scrambled from his chair and crawled into Severus lap like he had instructed. Severus wrapped his arms around Harry and he leaned into Severus' chest, listening to his heartbeat.

"I'm going to touch your mind now, like I did last time. I will only look at what you show me. I will look at anything you want to show me." He didn't want Harry to feel that he was limited in what he, Severus, would look at. Silently, Severus entered Harry's mind.

Like last time, he was assaulted with strong emotions. The same ones as before, but they were less wild this time. Severus chalked it up to the calming drought. Quickly, the emotions cleared and Severus was left looking at the memory. He could feel all of Harry's feelings along with the memory.

Severus had stuffed everything that even resembled an emotion behind his strongest occlemency shields. It was the only way he was going to survive this memory. He wasn't an empathetic person, but viewing a memory was guaranteed to make anyone but the Dark Lord himself empathetic.

Ensuring that he had no visible reaction, Severus watched as Harry showed him the scene of his first rape at the hands of his uncle.  Dursley had given the boy some cough medicine, and this was his method of "payment."  It disturbed Severus more than he had expected, if such a thing were possible.  Harry's cries of pain, his begging for it to stop, tore at Severus' heart, and left wounds.

When the memory ran out, Severus pulled back from Harry's mind. He felt his own emotions break through his shields and wash over him. It was a combination of sorrow, grief and anger, with desperation and love mixed in.

"Oh, Harry," he said, hugging him close and rocking. "I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry."

"You're crying," Harry stated. "Why?" Well, Severus stopped rocking suddenly, and touched his face. He certainly was crying. He hadn't even noticed it start. Harry had blushed again, and looked sick. Severus wasn't sure why, but it was more important to answer Harry's question than ask his own.

"Because I wish I had been there for you sooner," Severus tried to explain, beginning to rock again, letting his tears flow. It may have been ten years since he grieved this openly, but Harry's trauma deserved his grief. "Harry, your uncle raped you. And no one ever should be raped. Is that what you thought I would do to you after I healed you?"

"Yes," Harry admitted, snuggling to Severus. He may have thought that he would do that initially, but Snape hadn't hurt him yet, so he would enjoy it while it lasted. "Uncle Vernon always made me pay for things. Before then it was just beatings, but after he actually gave me medicine, it changed to...to that."

"So that wasn't the only time?" Harry shook his head.

"Oh, Harry," Severus repeated, pressing him close, closing out the world from the boy, keeping him safe. The things which had been done to Harry! The moment Harry was able to stand on his own, Severus knew he was going back to the Dursleys, and to Dumbledore. None of them were going to survive his wrath, he thought wryly. But then on second thought he realized he wasn't really going to kill anyone. He didn't want to end up in Azkaban, but that was the only reason stopping him. Harry needed him, and he would not sacrifice Harry's best interests for anything, even justice.

"I will never - ever - touch you like that. I won't let anyone else do it to you ever again. It's wrong on so many levels. Please believe me. Do you?" Harry nodded cautiously. "Do you really believe me? It's fine if you don't. I won't be angry, I promise."

"I do, sir," he said, more sure this time.

"Will you tell me about the scars on your arms?" Severus asked. Harry perked up a bit at the change of topic. He pushed his sleeve up. Ah! Severus would really need to get this child new clothes! He would take care of that while he brought Harry out to get his things for school.

"These, sir?" he said, pointing to the deep, parallel scars which had made Severus wonder for so long.

"Yes, can you tell me about them?"

"That..." Harry began, but then his face went dark, and he seemed scared. "I did those."

"You cut yourself?" Severus asked, looking for confirmation.

"Yes," Harry sighed. "My uncle made me. I didn't want to!" He was reacting to Severus' facial reaction at his assertion that he had been responsible. "It hurt, and it bled so much! I felt weak after, and I wouldn't be able to fight him at all. He started making me do it before he...raped...me so that he wouldn't have to tie me up. I'm sorry!"

Well that was a news flash. Severus had been prepared for an explanation about how it made him feel better. Severus ran his fingers over the scars that Harry was still showing him. He felt deeply sad about it. Deeply sad didn't even being to describe how he felt. He wanted to erase these ten years that had happened, and he wanted to replace with something more normal, more pleasant. Even living with him would have been better. And he could be very, very cruel, both to himself and to everyone around him.

"Why did he start making you do it?"

"So that it would get rid of my bad blood," he stated. "He made me do it after I did anything freakish and he said it would make me stop doing those things. And then I would be normal. It never worked though." Harry sounded wistful at the end. "I thought it would, and so I tried very hard in the beginning." He pulled his sleeve up more. "This was the first one," he explained. It was particularly deep. "I wanted to get all the bad blood out of me, so I cut as hard as I could." He swallowed. "I think I hit the bone on that one. But I just passed out after a few minutes." There were tears in his eyes as he looked up at Severus.

"You know that's a lie, don't you? That you don't have bad blood?"

"I knew it wasn't going to help after awhile," Harry said, and Severus noticed he had avoided the question. "After I woke up, my uncle made me clean up the blood on the floor."

"Did he stop your arm from bleeding?"

"He tied a rag on it, but after he beat me for needing the rag." Severus scowled. "I needed to pay him for it!" Harry tried to justify. Severus huffed a bit.

"That's stupid," Severus stated flatly. "It's stupid to have you 'paying' for everything. Do you believe what you told your uncle? That your uncle cared about you?"

"I used to," Harry said, dropping his eyes, but Severus knew it was more out of a shame he felt rather than a lie.

"But you don't anymore?"

"No, sir," he said.

"Why not?"

"Because you haven't beaten me or anything since you got me," he said. "You've listened to me, and you've fed me, and you've let me sleep, and you're holding me, and...and you sang to me." Harry felt a small tingling in his spine. "You let me sleep with you and you didn't...I mean, you..."

"I understand," Severus said when he noticed Harry was starting to hyperventilate in his panic to try to spit the words out. "Did you believe the part about no one caring about you?"

"Yes," and Harry hung his head. "But I think you care."

"Yes, I do, very much."

"You cried, and that's when I knew you cared," Harry volunteered. "No one cries unless they care."

"You're right, that's true," Severus conceded, now glad he hadn't tried to contain his emotions any more than he had. "But don't forget that people can care - they can really and truly care - and not cry." Harry nodded.

"One last thing I want to know about," Severus said. Harry looked tired and strained, and he wouldn't extend this any longer than he felt he had to. "When Nitty pinned you in the chair. You had a memory that was sparked by that. Can you tell me about it?"

"Yes, sir," he said. "It was when...it was when I stole food once. I know it's wrong to steal, and I'm sorry!" He began to cry into Severus' robes. "I'm sorry! I was just so hungry! It was just the scraps from the garbage, but Uncle Vernon had told me I wasn't supposed to take them - that it was stealing, and stealing was wrong - but I just couldn't help myself! I hadn't gotten any food in so long, I'd forgotten how long it was."

"Why weren't they feeding you?"

"Because I wasn't getting all my chores done on time."

"And so what did the chair have to do with this?"

"Uncle Vernon tied me to the chair and taunted me with food," he shuttered, "but he wouldn't give me any. He wouldn't even give me any water. And he hit me while I was tied. Sometimes he told me he would give me the food, so I opened my mouth to take it, but he would put something else in instead." Harry's breathing became ragged.

"Like what?"

"Once he put a spoon that he had boiled. He clamped my mouth shut on it. It burned my mouth, and he wouldn't let me take it out. Another time he dumped salt in my mouth, and wouldn't let me spit it out."

"Did he give you any water after that?"

"No. He just laughed and said I was really thick to actually believe that he would give me food."

"How long did he do that?"

"I don't know. It was until he changed tactics. He started feeding me and giving me water eventually."

"Why do I not think this is a good thing? Continue."

"He gave me food and water until I couldn't hold anything, and then he made me eat some more. He kept forcing it down, until I started throwing up. I threw up all over myself, but he wouldn't clean it up or let me go to I could. He just started the whole thing over again. I don't know how long he did it." Harry went limp in Severus' arms and his head fell back. He slipped Harry off his lap and stood up. Harry seemed to have recovered some. Severus went down on one knee, making eye contact with Harry.

"I want you to know that I do care about you, and you are not a freak. You aren't weak, and you deserve everything I can give you. You won't have to pay me back. I will not beat you. I will not without food from you. I will not lock you away. And I will not rape you or touch you inappropriately. You are a wonderful human being - a powerful wizard. You are good. You don't have bad blood, and you may ask questions. You may ask for food whenever you want. I won't hurt you for it. If you ask for food, that is what you will get. And you will get as much or as little as you want. I won't hold it back or force you to eat till you throw up. If you refuse to eat for long enough, I will ask you to eat, but only a minimum. You do not need to change. You are good the way you are. There is nothing wrong with you.

"Now, I need to go see someone," he said. He meant Dumbledore. He was going to tears shreds off him until Dumbledore wished he wasn't born. And he wasn't going to let Dumbledore get away with any of his usual manipulations if he could help it. "I want you to stay here and eat lunch with Nitty. Now, I also want you to understand a few things. Nitty is a house elf, and a lot of house elves are kept in very bad conditions - usually a cupboard - and they have to do work for the wizards who own them. I do not do that to Nitty. Nitty is a free house elf, which means that she does what she does because she wants to. I feed her, and I give her a place to sleep, and she helps me with the chores because she wants to. So she can be very snippy if you try to do what she feels is her job. You heard my talk with her. She will try to be understanding. But I want you to understand her too. Will you eat when she tells you to?"

"Yes, sir," Harry assented.

"Listen to her like you would listen to me. She can be your friend. Do you understand?"

"Yes, sir!" Harry smiled at him. Severus couldn't help bringing him into a close embrace, and Harry returned it. Severus wanted to see that smile on Harry's face every day. And, what he only realized then, he wanted to be the cause of it.

Suddenly, Severus saw the gray smoke of a patronus enter the room. It formed into a large python, and Severus knew it to Lucius Malfoy's patronus. Harry had also seen it and pressed himself close in fear.

"Don't worry, Harry, it won't hurt you," he reassured. Then the snake opened its mouth.

"Severus! We're having a meeting in a few minutes at my house. It's the summer, so we expect you attend. Do please come over." Then the snake disappeared.

Well, so much for visiting Dumbledore. He'd have to attend this Death Eater meeting as the good spy he was. And he had to make a choice and he had to make it soon. He could omit telling the Death Eaters about Harry, and the minute they found out they would be furious, and he might not be able to explain it away sufficiently for them. Or he could simply tell them about it, and hope for the best. Sometimes honesty, even with Death Eaters, really was the best policy.

"Alright, Harry, change of plan," he said. "I need to go attend this meeting. I don't know how long it will take. I may not be able to see you after I come back." He wasn't sure what sort of state he would be flooing back in, or if he had important information to deliver immediately. "I live a complicated life, Harry. I can't explain everything to you. But if I can't see you right away, please don't be hurt. Nitty will take care of you. It is all the more important that you listen to her while I am away. Do not hesitate to ask her for anything or bring your problems to her. She will listen, and she will get you anything you like. Alright, Harry?"

"Yes, sir," Harry replied and he could feel Snape's seriousness radiating off of him. He knew whatever this meeting was about was serious, and probably dangerous. Snape hadn't said that he might be coming back hurt, but he knew that was what he meant. He would be very good while he was gone, he promised.