On medical leave from his classes for the next few days, Harry paced in his dorm. The farthest he ventured out was the Gryffindor common room, and that only to see Hermione. It disturbed him more than he liked to admit that Snape was furious with him. He knew the man still cared - or he wouldn't have discussed the fading scars left on his hand by Umbridge - but Harry was about as happy with himself as Snape was. Harry had always thought that he would be happier after killing Voldemort, but no, he was still restless. Perhaps even more so, because up until this point, he'd always had a clear goal, a mission, in mind. Now that it was complete, what purpose was his existence? Snape had talked about hunting horcruxes, but really, he doubted that he would get much part in that. Snape didn't like him even if he tolerated him, and undoubtedly it would be deemed too dangerous a mission for the Boy-Who-Lived. In an almost sulky manner, Harry slumped down on his bed against the headboard. There was a soft knock at the door.

"Hey," Ron said as he cracked the door. "How are you doing?" Harry's expression softened at his friend's voice.

"Hey," he returned. "I'm okay." Ron just nodded.

"It's almost funny to see Malfoy now," Ron said conversationally. "He's jumpy and he runs whenever someone wants to talk to him. It's almost like he's afraid some Death Eater is going to kill him now that You-Know-Who's gone."

"Maybe they will," Harry said. "Did you have something specific to tell me?"

"No," Ron said. "Just came up here to check on you."

"I don't need checking on," Harry muttered sullenly. He wasn't angry with Ron. He didn't have the energy to be angry with Ron.

"Yeah you do," Ron contradicted. "Hermione and I worried about you."

"No need to worry," Harry said, rising from his bed.

"Harry!" Ron barked at him. For a moment Harry just blinked at his friend stupidly. "Stop it! Right now!"

"What?" Harry asked, genuinely confused.

"This!" Ron said waving his hand indistinctly. "This whole 'I'm better than the lot of you' attitude you have going on!"

"What?" Harry repeated. "I don't think I'm better than - "

"Then what's all this morbid secret keeping? You won't talk about yourself, you won't spend time with us, and when you do, you're ready to jump at everything. You and Snape are all friendly now - "

"I wouldn't call it friendly," Harry interjected. Ron didn't even seem to notice.

" - and you're doing extra credit potions? Really? And you got a cryptic note from Snuffles that makes no sense. I didn't even need Hermione to figure it out that something's going on, and you're not telling us. We're tired of you leaving us out." Ron finished his speech in a truly wounded tone.

"I'm sorry," Harry said, genuine and shocked. "I don't want to drag you and Hermione into my problems. They don't involve you. And if it helps, you have as good an idea what that note meant as I do."

"Harry, we're your friends. If you can't trust your friends, who can you trust?"

"That's just the point - I can't trust anyone, not with this."

"Whatever your problem is, it sounds like someone should know."

"Snape does," Harry shrugged.

"What'd he have to do, beat it out of you?" Harry winced.

"Close," he said with a shudder. Harry pressed his lips together tightly and he had a far away look in his eyes. Slowly, without any sudden movements, Ron reached out and laid his hand on Harry's shoulder. He shied away at the touch, but calmed himself quickly.

"Hermione and I just want to help," Ron said. "We can't help you if you won't let us."

"You can't help," Harry said shaking his head sadly. "No one can, not even Snape."

"How can you know for sure?"

"I just can," Harry evaded. "Leave me alone. Please."

"No!" Ron said, stamping his foot for emphasis. "We've been doing that all year and nothing's improved. We tried things your way, and it didn't help. Now you try things our way. It can't be any worse, can it?"

"Yes, it can!" Harry shouted, now angry beyond anything he could remember. "I can lose you and Hermione forever! As long as we don't speak of it, it's like it never happened, okay? If you knew...if you knew what happened this summer, you would leave. And I wouldn't blame you." Harry's voice calmed some, and he dragged his sleeve across his eyes.

"Look, I'm sure whatever it is, it's fine," Ron said. "Is it something you did?" Harry paused.

"No," he said eventually, "not exactly."

"There you go," Ron remarked. "If it's not something you did, then it can't be your fault, can it?"

"Well...no," Harry grudgingly agreed.

"They why would you think Hermione and I would dump you over it?" Ron questioned further.

"It's not that simple," Harry muttered, turning away from his friend.

"Yeah, it is," Ron said. "Look are you going to tell us or not?"

"No," Harry murmured. "It's better if you don't know." Ron's eyes narrowed and he spun on his heel.

"Fine," Ron said. "Fine be that way. But don't expect me to confide anything to you either." Ron left, slamming the door behind him. Harry threw himself on his bed, curled into a ball, and buried his face in the pillow, trying to muffle any sounds that came.

.oO-Oo.

"I'm concluding he didn't say anything," Hermione observed as she watched Ron's glower soften into worry.

"No, not other than something happened last summer, but he didn't do it. He's afraid we're going to abandon him if he tells us."

"Either something's really messed with his mind or we've been pretty terrible friends for the past 4 and a half years."

"Maybe some of both," Ron shrugged. They were silent for a few moments, each lost in their own thoughts. "It's an Imperius Curse!" Ron finally exclaimed, leaping to his feet. "It has to be. Harry wouldn't have done it then, but he still would have, enough that he feels guilty about it. But he didn't choose to do it!"

"Ron, don't be stupid," Hermione said, clearly giving his idea consideration. "It can't be an Imperius curse!"

"And why not?"

"Because - because Harry threw off the Imperius curse that Crouch Jr. put on him, didn't he? And if a Death Eater had succeeded at that, why wouldn't they have just killed him? Or at least made a fuss about having gotten through Dumbledore's protections?"

"Fine, fine," Ron muttered, taking his seat again, defeated.

"It was a good idea though," Hermione amended.

"He said Snape knows," Ron volunteered quietly.

"Why didn't you say that before?" Hermione snapped. "Let's go talk to him, then." She rose, grabbed her bag, and made for the exit to the common room.

"What? No! I mean - " Ron stammered. Hermione stepped through the threshold. "Fine." He followed her.

.oO-Oo.

There was a knock at the door.

"Come in!" Severus barked in his usual brisk tone as he continued to pour over a pile of dusty books from the restricted section of the library. Not bothering to look up, he said, "What do you want?"

"It's about Harry, sir," Hermione said, putting forth her bravest tone of voice. Severus glanced up.

"And what do you think I can do for Potter, Granger? Weasley?"

"He said you knew," she pressed.

"Knew what?" Severus slammed his book shut and gave them his full attention in what he thought looked like a long-suffering way.

"What happened over the summer."

"So what if I do?"

"We need to talk to you about it. We need to know what the best thing for us to do is."

"So he's told you, has he?" Ron and Hermione looked at each other, then back at Snape. At the same time, Hermione said, "Yes," and Ron said, "No." Hermione glared at Ron for a moment and Ron looked horrified.

"So he hasn't told you. Then it is not my place to say. Go about your business or I'll assign you another essay." Without acknowledgement, they turned to leave.

"Good one, Ron," Hermione hissed at him. "Our one shot at finding out."

"It's not my fault!" Ron hissed back. "How should I have known you would try to lie? It's not like that's going to make Harry trust us!"

"Weasley is right," Snape called suddenly. "You would do well to gain his trust rather than undermine it." The two stopped and looked at Snape, who had returned to his books. They didn't responding in anyway other than to glance at each other. They silently closed the door behind them.

.oO-Oo.

Just as silently as she had closed Snape's office door, she opened the door to the boy's fifth year dormitory. Normally she didn't trespass but this wasn't a normal situation. She would just have to try where Ron had failed. She found Harry with his face still in his pillow, though by now his breathing had evened off. He was sleeping, though not very peacefully, judging by the state of his robes and bedsheets. She began to reach out to wake him.

"No, don't touch me!" he whimpered suddenly. Taken aback, she retreated suddenly. Harry rolled over, and she realized that he wasn't awake yet. He shuddered. She steeled her resolution to wake him then and placed a firm hand on his shoulder.

"Harry!" she called. "Harry, wake up!"

"Huh?" Harry grunted as he jolted awake. "Hermione?" He looked at her. "Oh, thank God," he breathed.

"You were having a nightmare," she said, then glanced at the brilliantly shining sun, and amended, "a daymare."

"Yeah, thanks," Harry said as he slipped off the bed. "So you've come to see if I'll tell you anything, I suppose? Because it failed for Ron?"

"Well..." Hermione paused. "Yeah."

"Hermione," Harry said, very patiently, "I already told you it's something I need to deal with on my own. You and Ron can't help. There's nothing you can do."

"Harry, we just want you to talk to us!" Hermione was almost ready to break down in tears herself it seemed. "What did we do to make you not trust us?"

"Nothing," Harry said hastily. "You never did anything. It's just - "

"What, Harry? We even went and talked to Snape."

"Did he - ?" Harry suddenly looked alarmed.

"No, he didn't. You're drifting away from us, and we don't want to let that happen. But if you don't tell us, there's nothing we can do. Sure, we'll be friends for awhile, because Ron and I won't give up. But it won't last. Ron said you were afraid of losing us, but if you don't tell us, our friendship is going to crumble anyway. The more secrets you have, the more secrets we'll all have, and the more superficial our friendship will become." Harry sighed and pinched his nose.

"Fine," he said after a moment of silence. "You have a point. I'll lose you one way or another, so we might as well clear the air." He stalked past Hermione and down the flight of stairs to where Ron was sitting in the common room.

"The Room of Requirement. Now," Harry said, his face as stern as they'd ever seen it. He was simply hiding his storming hurricane of emotions though. Ron and Hermione followed him a safe distance back. All three were silent as they paraded their way to a place where no one could over hear them.

Harry's mind, on the other hand, was anything but silent. He was panicking with ideas of how his friends would react. Why had he even agreed to tell them? He began to regret his decision, but it was too late to turn back now. He'd promised them the long awaited information, and now he had to deliver on it. He was sure they'd be disgusted with him. What he feared more than that was a false friendship, one that they felt they had to maintain because they had said they would.

Harry paced in front of the door to the Room of Requirement and it appeared. Just as silently as they came, they entered, and the door sealed off behind them. Harry had seen this room once before. There was a fire raging in an otherwise darkened room while three mugs of steaming hot chocolate waited for them on the nearby table. Harry picked up two of them and handed them to his friends.

"Here," he said. "It's good for more than just dementors." Why he decided to quote Snape of all people now, he didn't know. He gestured that Ron and Hermione should take a seat on the couch in front of the fireplace, and they did. Nervously, Harry began to pace in front of the fire. He wrong his hands, and sucked in his breath. Releasing it, he began to bite on his lip. He glanced at his audience, but only Ron was looking at him. Hermione was watching her drink, but clearly waiting for him to start. Neither seemed impatient. Harry locked gases with Ron, and suddenly didn't know what to do.

"I don't know where to start," he finally said, lamely. "So much has happened."

"Just start when you left the train, Harry," Hermione said softly. "You can come sit with us if you want." He nodded mutely and Ron and Hermione made a place for him in between them. Harry snatched up his own drink and cradled it in his hands, trying to let the heat of it warm his soul. Each of his friends moved closer to him and put an arm around him. Hermione laid her head on his shoulder, and he in turn laid his on hers.

"Just start wherever you want, no need to rush," Ron said. Harry nodded.

"Yeah," Harry said, more as an introduction than an acknowledgement, "yeah, so I got off the train, and I got picked up - "

"Your family?" Hermione asked.

"Yeah, or rather my uncle, just him this time. Scared me, him being alone like that. He'd never pick me up alone, since I'm Petunia's nephew. But I didn't ask any questions. Just put my stuff in the trunk and he took me back to Private Drive." Harry began to quiver, and Ron and Hermione held him closer, trying to convey their sympathies. "Thanks, guys," Harry muttered. "So summer was pretty normal except that my aunt and uncle kept fighting about everything. I didn't know what was wrong, but every weekend my aunt would take Dudley and leave."

"So it was only you and your uncle in the house on weekends?" Ron asked. Harry nodded, as he got a far away look in his eyes.

"And it was all going quite well actually. I was getting fed and they weren't even hitting me this summer - "

"They hit you?" Hermione gasped.

"Yeah...didn't you know?"

"No," Ron and Hermione said together.

"Well, it's neither here nor there," Harry shrugged. "I was pleasantly surprised when it didn't happen this summer. Then one weekend, well, I was stupid, and my uncle tricked me into going into his bedroom." Ron and Hermione both stiffened. Neither was stupid. Hermione began to run her hand over Harry's back sympathetically. "I mean, it was my fault for falling for it, I guess," Harry stammered on.

"No, it wasn't," Ron said firmly. "Continue."

"So...I really don't know what to say. Like I said, my aunt and uncle were fighting, which meant that my uncle got to spend the nights she was there on the couch, and so...yeah. When she wasn't there..." His voice broke, and he set his cup down quickly before he should drop it. Harry hung his head in his hands and his breathing became suspiciously uneven.

"That's okay, Harry," Hermione cooed to him. "We understand." Harry just shook his head, because, no, they didn't.

"So that's why he wanted you back over Christmas?" Ron asked. Without picking his head up, Harry nodded.

"I'm so sorry," Ron murmured. "We had no idea. Why did Dumbledore send you back?"

"He didn't know," Harry said, finally taking his hands an inch or so from his face. He sniffed.

"Why didn't you tell him?" Hermione asked sharply. Harry flinched at her tone.

"I couldn't, I still have trouble saying it, I still haven't said it." Hermione nodded.

"And you thought we'd dump you over that?" Ron asked, incredulous. "You really think we'd just walk out because your uncle was a bastard?" Harry shrugged.

"I don't know, it's just so humiliating," Harry said, pulling his feet up to the seat of the couch, and leaning his forehead against his knees. "Please don't go."

"We won't, Harry, we'll always be there for you," Hermione said. "The only way we won't is if we're dead."

"How did Snape find out?" Ron asked.

"He kept after me until I finally told," Harry said, still curled into his ball.

"And he's been - you know - good about it?" he pressed.

"Yeah," Harry said, and they could hear a wry smile, "he's been fine." Snape's tale wasn't his to tell.

"Thanks for telling us, Harry," Hermione murmured.

"No," Harry muttered back, letting the two of them continue both their emotional and physical support, "thank you for staying."