Potions and Snitches
Snape and Harry Gen Fanfiction Archive

What Makes People Unhappy - Confusion

After classes that day, Harry side-tracked to McGonagall's office. He had every intention of following up as Snape had suggested. He trusted McGonagall, whereas he was much more leery of Snape.

Yes, he had trusted the man with his memories, but that was an entirely different matter. He'd simply played Snape's hatreds to benefit himself. He wasn't actually trusting Snape for its own sake - it was only because Snape could be expected to act predictably, even if distastefully.

Deep down, Harry realized that he really didn't think Snape had cheated with his mum, or had assaulted her, but he needed to be sure. His mind still reeled from the thought of his unknown parentage.

Harry knocked softly on McGonagall's door, and she told him to come in. Nervously, he stepped through the door and closed it behind him. His eyes quickly fell to the floor and he could feel his cheeks flush.

"What is it, Harry?" McGonagall asked gently.

"Professor," Harry stalled, "if I could talk to you for a moment? Probably quite a few moments?"

"Of course," McGonagall replied, suddenly seeming a bit concerned. Well, Harry supposed, that was reasonable since he hardly ever visited her. "Have a seat." Harry did as instructed.

"It - It's about my dad," Harry stammered. McGonagall sighed.

"What did James do now? I assure you, it's likely not nearly as bad as Professor Snape has made it out to be."

"So James is my dad?" Harry verified.

"Well - " McGonagall cut herself off, and her face clouded a bit. "How much do you know?"

"Snape showed me I had glamours," Harry began. "I'm his kid, aren't I?"

"Yes," McGonagall answered.

"How - how did that work?"

"I highly doubt a fifth year in a boy's dormitory needs me to explain the facts of life," McGonagall drawled. Harry blushed and ducked his head.

"Of course not," he muttered. "But I mean - were Snape and my mum, you know, married?"

"Yes, they were," McGonagall said. "Lily and Severus had a very quiet wedding. I was one of the witnesses. There weren't even a dozen people there. I think Lily wanted a bigger wedding, but Severus felt uncomfortable whenever anyone made a fuss over him and he wanted to keep it small. But they were definitely married."

"Then how did I come by glamours and the name Potter?"

"Are you simply quizzing me on something you already know?"

"Snape told me things that Dumbledore just told him," Harry rushed, "but I want to know if it's true."

"And you don't trust Professor Snape?"

"Why didn't I know earlier?" Harry asked quietly.

"Harry," McGonagall intoned, "Professor Dumbledore sometimes does things I don't approve of. That doesn't mean that I'm going to cross him, even when I don't agree with what he chooses to do. When I found out that Albus erased Severus' memory, it was too late to interfere. If I could have stopped it, even at the cost of crossing Albus, I would have. By the time I knew what was going on, it was done. I knew Lily was going to have a child, and I helped arrange her 'marriage' to James. It simply wasn't the time nor the place for me to undermine whatever twisted plan Albus had put into effect."

"So you've known all this time?"

"That you're Severus' son? Yes," she nodded.

"I wish you had told me," Harry whispered.

"Harry," she replied softly. "I told you, I don't approve of what Albus did. It was cruel to take Severus' memories like that. I know he never would have agreed to give you and Lily up. Not even for the whole of the wizarding world. The Severus you know isn't the Severus I knew years ago, and he isn't the man Lily fell in love with."

"Oh?" Harry prompted.

"Harry, imagine you had an absolutely miserable home life, no friends, and no one loved you," McGonagall said.

"Not that hard," Harry whispered through clenched teeth, but McGonagall missed it.

"Now imagine that you made a friend, who cared about you despite all that, and that friendship was the only thing that made you get up in the morning. Finally, you and your friend fall in love and get married, and are about to have a child. Now imagine that all of those happy memories are taken away from you, and replaced with unhappy ones. Is there anything to remain happy about? Severus has become bitter and angry, but he wasn't always that way. He was always quiet and reclusive, and he always had a bit of a temper, but not to this extent. He has nothing, Harry, you have to understand that. He tried to build a life and it was taken from him."

"So my mum loved Snape?" Harry asked.

"Yes, she did," McGonagall said, a sad smile on her face. "How do you think your mother became the genius at potions that she was? There were definite academic benefits to being Severus' best friend." Harry couldn't help but smile at that, but it quickly faded.

"So if Severus is telling you this," McGonagall said, "that means that Albus must have broken the news to him, am I correct?"

"Yes," Harry clarified. "The same day he told me."

"How did that go?" McGonagall asked, but it wasn't in a prying way. It was more like a friend being curious.

"Well, he seemed nervous," Harry said gravely, clearly playing the memory in his mind. "He didn't yell or shout or anything. He was actually really decent. I - kind of flew off the handle at him, though. I suppose I insulted him pretty good, and he took it. He didn't even get snarky or give me detention."

"Mm," McGonagall observed. "It sounds like Severus is in as much shock as you are."

"He even apologized," Harry shrugged.

"And?"

"I - didn't really accept it," Harry admitted, feeling a little guilty.

"I can't imagine that that does much to ease Severus' mind," McGonagall said gently. "It's not his fault that he is the way he is, or at least not entirely. If you were in his shoes, maybe you could do a little better with your reactions to things, but I highly doubt you would do much better. Please don't judge Severus too harshly. He's had a very hard life."

"So what do you recommend?" Harry asked.

"I think you should see him tonight and accept his apology," McGonagall advised. "If he offered it, he's serious about trying to set your records straight."

"Yes, ma'am," Harry said, standing up. "Thank you. Then I will."

"You're welcome, Harry," she replied.


That evening, Harry knocked on Snape's door, and stepped back slightly as the door opened.

"Sir," Harry greeted him nervously. Snape wordlessly stepped aside and allowed Harry passage, then closed the door behind him. Snape gestured to the chair and Harry gratefully sat. It would help hide what he thought were his visibly shaking knees. Snape sat in his usual chair behind his desk.

"Thank you for cooperating," Snape said, and produced a vial of potion. Harry drank it without complaint, and his gaze shifted to the floor.

"Sir," Harry tried to start again. "I - I talked to McGonagall."

"And what did Professor McGonagall say?"

"She knew," Harry choked out. "She knew all along. She's sorry that Dumbledore did that, and she was at the wedding."

"Mm, I see," Snape said non-committally.

"I'm sorry for how I acted the other day," Harry blurted out.

"Apology accepted," Snape said, nodding deferentially.

"And - and I - I mean - I accept yours too. Sorry." Snape sighed, but he looked a bit relieved, Harry thought, when he risked glancing up.

"Thank you," Snape said quietly. "Lily would have wanted me to respect your wishes in a few matters we must talk about, so I will, but I need to know your preferences." Harry nodded nervously.

"First of all," Snape began, "the glamours. I can remove them, if you so wish. Naturally, this would cause some probably uncomfortable questions into the reason for the sudden change, but you had also indicated an interest in not needing your glasses, if I recall correctly. Which do you prefer?"

"Can you just remove the glamour on my eyes? Maybe I could pass it off as a sight correction spell or something?"

"Unfortunately, the glamours are all linked," Snape explained. "I can remove all or none. There is no in between."

"Well," Harry stalled. "Can I think about it then? They can always come off later, right?"

"Of course," Snape said. "Then simply let me know if you wish for me to remove them."

"Alright," Harry agreed.

"Second of all," Snape said, visibly swallowing and twirling a quill in his hand, "I already know you'll say no, which is perfectly understandable, but as a parental figure, I gather I'm supposed to make the offer anyway."

"Which is?" Harry prompted when Snape stopped speaking.

"If you so wish, you could stay with me over holidays," Snape said, rushing a bit more with his words than he usually did. Harry blinked stupidly.

"I wouldn't be able to provide you with a lavish life," Snape quickly continued. "Spying pays enough, but it's hardly a lucrative business, especially when the spy has no choice in the matter. Of course, I would be able to provide all your necessities, or it would be extremely foolish for me to even bring this up, but it would be nothing like the life you have with your aunt and uncle, I'm sure." Harry still was just blinking at him, not making any sound of horror.

"So," Snape tried to conclude, "since there's really no reason to accept my offer, I don't expect you to, and there's no reason to feel that you're obligated to either."

"Alright," Harry said nervously, tonelessly.

"And?" Snape prompted, and the quill twirling reached an almost super-sonic speed.

"Yes," Harry said confidently.

"Yes?" Snape questioned, and dropped the quill.

"I'll stay the holidays with you, if you'll have me."


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