I Don't Want to be a Hero - Ch. 23

Sunday 20 Oct. 1991

Ron had fallen quickly asleep. Hermione had watched Draco for a bit before sleep drew her down. Harry, on his side in his infirmary bed, could not sleep.

A Cerberus. He knew what one of those was. He had seen a drawing of one in the Greek myths storybook Dudley had thrown aside on Christmas. It figures here they were real. And, they were murderous, scary beasts!

This was the dark side to magic that he hated. It had begun with a feeling of others expectations for him to be something he was not that had so weighed upon him that it made him run from Hogwarts. His running would have been fine but he ran into that stupid forest, and right into the arms of that crazy witch who tortured him.

His stomach cramped with the echo of that pain. Professor Snape's potion had removed the tremors but it could not remove the memory of the pain, and the fear, and the helplessness he had felt. The attack by the Cerberus had been more of the same.

Harry curled up tight on his bed, and squeezed his eyes shut tight. He tried to imagine his dusty, cobwebby cupboard beneath the stairs at #4 Privet Drive. It was not the ideal place but when he had wanted to tune out his family, their meals, their loud television, and evil Aunt Marge, he had been able to do so there. He brought up memories of all those days he had spent in Aunt Petunia's garden and making it perfect. There were also memories of when he cooked for his fat cousin, and his aunt and uncle, and when he was the one to cook he always got to eat... later... some of what he cooked.

And, he was a good cook! That had been a source of pride for him. He was also a very good gardener. Both tasks, though hard, made him feel good inside because he had conquered them, and made those tasks his.

The small boy sniffled. He was hurt, not just physically, but mentally. He was also angry at himself. How stupid of him was it to be to want something that was just as bad as Hogwarts was to him?

Was he ever going to grow up and have a normal life where he was loved, and cared for? Someplace where he did not have to think about Aunt Petunia's voice screeching at him, or trying to hit him, or his Uncle Vernon telling him over and over what a freak, and a waste of space he was.

Harry closed his eyes so he could imagine the place he always ran to in his dreams; the ocean. There was wind but it was not sharp, cool, crisp, and it smelled like the sea. The beach was perfectly white sand where he could pick up all sorts of treasures the ocean would wash up. Large boulders hid wonderful tide pools that held crabs, sea anemone, shells, and more wonders. His place of sanctuary had a little hut on the beach and right from the patio he could fish. Harry had never fished but he was patient so he knew he would be good at it.

Harry's hut would be neat as a pin. He might not have a garden in the sand but maybe he would have lots of planters and pots with all sorts of flowers, and maybe he would also grow vegetables. He would cook for himself, and eat every last bite, and not share it with anyone. Well he would share it with Hedwig and his friends, and even Professor Snape.

As he flew over the ocean and his little hut with his friends Harry finally drifted off into a restful sleep.

A Reckoning With the Deputy Headmistress

Minerva McGonagall sat at the Headmaster's desk as she regarded the two wizards before her. Both had explained to her everything that had occurred since Bellatrix had captured Harry to kill him (thank Merlin she failed) to the sabotage of Harry's Quidditch tryout to an unfortunate encounter with the Cerberus, Fluffy.

"And, then you both stunned the Headmaster," concluded Minerva.

Severus corrected, "I stunned the Headmaster, Lucius bound his magic."

Minerva glared at Lucius who just barely managed not to cringe under her sharp gaze. "You... bound the Headmaster's magic, Lucius?!"

"Albus Dumbledore is an undisputed powerful wizard, madame. It appeared prudent to bind his magic so that he could not retaliate..." he frowned as his hands shifted imperceptibly over his lap, "...and remove something valued."

Minerva rolled her eyes. With a sigh she then asked, "And, so neither of you know where Fawkes took the Headmaster?"

Both wizards shook their heads in the negative.

"We need to find him," she concluded. "Remus Lupin is good at finding things and is a mite more honest than that sticky-fingered Mundungus Fletcher is," the witch said with a slight grimace. "I'll take care of that but, Severus, what you mentioned about Professor Quirrell adds to my own concerns. There have now been four accidents in his classes, and add to that what Harry heard in his class..." her lips thinned. "I heard Riddle speak once after he styled himself the Dark Lord." Minerva shivered. "I cannot say what Albus is playing at with Harry, and those traps he had us devise, or..." she shook her head. "The Philosopher's Stone? The Headmaster actually brought that into the school?" Her shoulders slumped as the weight of everything seemed to draw her down to the earth. "What a bloody mess this is."

“Minerva,” Severus began as he watched the older woman start to pace behind the desk. “I am concerned that Albus is not of… the sound mind that he was when we were all younger.” Minerva turned to look at her colleague. He adjusted his collar as she peered over the rims of her glasses as if she were judging him. “He has as much as said that a prophecy showed him that Harry is the Saviour. But then…”

“Then what, Severus,” she spoke softly. “Continue, please.”

“Albus had given me temporary guardianship over the boy since I had to travel to the Muggle world. However, at the end of September he rescinded his guardianship of Harry Potter to… well, to me.” Severus looked away from Minerva’s hard expression and right into Lucius’ own which reflected the aristocrat’s astonishment.

“Why did Dumbledore do that, Severus?” asked Lucius.

“I believe that a part of Albus realises that something is wrong with him, and he knows that I will do everything in my power to keep Harry safe.” He shook his head and his hands clasped tightly over his abdomen. “But then… this. Minerva, you were with Albus when he took the babe to his aunt and uncle in the Muggle world. Did he ever…?”

Minerva shook her head. “No, Severus. As Albus later told all of us in the Order, and you were there, he had taken the boy to his relatives so he could set up Blood Wards to keep Harry safe from those followers of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named that had escaped justice following his death. Nothing was said of Harry being a Saviour. In fact, Albus told me that night that UnSpeakables were at Godric’s Hollow in order to discover exactly what happened.”

Lucius spoke up, “Madame, do you believe the legend of the Boy-Who-Lived?”

Minerva chuckled darkly. “Of course not, Lucius. Daily Prophet poppycock! I read the UnSpeakables report on the Potters deaths. I also know that there has never been a child with fully developed magic that could defeat a full grown wizard.”

“Harry is a good student,” remarked Severus, “but he is like any first year that is getting used to controlling his magic.”

“He has not had many classes since you found him, has he, Severus?” asked Lucius.

“Not many. He is three weeks behind the other first years, and he also did not have a wand until about a week ago,” replied Severus. “Today was the end of four weeks of classes for him.”

Minerva tapped the surface of Albus desk and it was at that moment she noticed something she had not seen before. “Albus journal.”

Severus jumped up beside the Deputy Headmistress. He picked up the journal. “This is a health journal. Albus does not write in it. It is charmed to make notations of his health so that Madame Pomfrey can keep watch upon his health - mental and physical.” He glanced up at Minerva. “This is, essentially, a private document and no one would be able to see it unless they were a Healer.”

“We can see it,” noted Minerva.

The Floo took all of their attention as the orange flames whooshed into the familiar green and Poppy Pomfrey stepped forth. “You can see the journal, Minerva, because the Headmaster’s dementia has reached a crisis level.” She walked over and took the journal from the Potions Master’s hand. “Albus does not know of this journal. I set it up for him when I began noticing during the summer that Albus was suffering from bouts of extreme moods, and forgetfulness. The journal is supposed to make itself known when the Headmaster has come to a crisis that affects his position here at Hogwarts.”

“Wait,” said Lucius. “You have known that Dumbledore is sick and you said nothing?”

Poppy faced Lucius and did not back away from his taller, more intimidating stature, “It was not my place to do so, Mr. Malfoy. Only Albus Dumbledore can speak to others about his health. I must keep such knowledge confidential.”

“But I am on the Board of Governors, Madame Pomfrey! We should know if the Headmaster’s health is compromised,” said Lucius indignantly.

“So now you do, Mr. Malfoy,” replied Poppy stiffly. “Albus Dumbledore is hereby formally diagnosed as non compis mentis due to Dementia brought on by advanced age.. Minerva, until the Board of Governors decides otherwise, you are now the Headmistress of Hogwarts.” Poppy returned to the fireplace and threw in the Floo powder. “Mr. Malfoy, I shall send a medical report to the Board of Governors.” She vanished into the green flames.

“Well,” said Minerva gingerly sitting in the chair that was now, by default, hers. She steepled her fingers on the surface of the desk. “Severus, I will contact Remus and have him begin looking for wherever the Headmaster ended up. As for Hogwarts, something must be done about Quirinus Quirrell beyond simply firing him.” She glanced pointedly at both wizards.

Neither one said anything but both looked to her for an indication of what must be done next.

The older woman sighed. Part of her did not want the responsibility the Headmaster had inadvertently left her with, but she would not pass it on to anyone else. "Severus, correct me if I am wrong but IF Quirinus has a connection to the spirit of Riddle we need to destroy it. Have you any idea how we might do so?"

"I have been researching ways to destroy spirits since the death of… his body. The Muggles exorcise an evil spirit but it will not destroy it," grimaced Professor Snape.

“Then you will continue your research, and keep Harry safe. Since you are his guardian, and as you were publicly outed during your trial as a spy, that shall be ended.” Severus nodded in agreement. Minerva looked over the rim of her spectacles at him, and he knew he was about to hear something he did not wish to. “That means, Severus, take care of your House as you will but enough with the favouritism in your class. I am not asking for a reduction in points or detentions but I expect to hear that your Slytherins are equally held accountable for their infractions.”

“And what of the favouritism of other teachers towards my Snakes… Headmistress?” drawled Severus darkly.

“I shall meet with the other teachers to let them know that Albus is gone, that I am temporary Headmistress, and that favouritism shall no longer be tolerated.”

“Very well,” nodded Severus.

"In the meantime, Lucius, as you are a member of the Board of Governors you are in a position to monitor Professor Quirrell's classes." Lucius frowned in puzzlement. The Headmistress clarified, "I do not want anymore students hurt until we can deal properly with Professor Quirrell without alerting him as to what is planned."

"And, what is planned, Minerva?" asked Severus carefully.

The witch captured his gaze, "We will end this, Severus. Here and now." Severus smiled thinly in agreement.