Harry was quite nervous about the trip they were having. What did you wear at this? Did it matter? Should he wear black? Would Severus care either way? Well, orange or yellow might not be appropriate, but blue jeans should be alright... or was it? He felt stupid asking Severus about something banal like that and just got over himself. Dark jeans, black T-Shirt, his school shoes. That should be good enough. Now hair. What should he do with that mess? He actually liked it and people always commented on how he looked so alike James. He would like that... But maybe his mum wouldn't. Maybe she would have tried, like Petunia, to flatten his unruly locks all his life. He frowned at his reflection. Did it matter?

"Shall I help?"

Harry jumped when he heard Severus in his door frame and looked at him through the mirror. He shrugged, feeling a blush creep up on him. Severus came forward, combing Harry's hair with his long fingers.

"What a mess.", he murmured, wetting his hands before running them through Harry's hair again.

"It won't help.", Harry murmured miserably, Snape looked like he was up for a challenge and summoned "Accio hair gel"

"You have hair gel?", Harry asked surprised

"Even the Muggle kind.", Snape answered, catching the round little plastic box "I may have enhanced it a little though."

Harry grinned at that and then watched with horror as Snape scooped up an amount of the goo that should be forbidden. Harry clasped his hands over his hair quickly "No way! I'll look like... I dunked my head in glue or something."

"You won't, hands away.", when Harry didn't obey directly he said "Trust me... Harry!"

Slowly he took away his hands but the sceptical frown stayed in place. Snape just dumped the goo on his hair and started combing it in with his hands from front to back. Harry slowly felt drowsy with the skull massage he was getting. He lazily recognized that Snape wasn't making a parting, which he quite liked. Not middle nor a side parting would look good on him. Severus just sleeked his hair back completely. One or two of Harry's stubborn locks sprang back onto his face. Snape tried to push them back but Harry said "No, I like that."

Snape grinned at him over the mirror, but Harry explained "I'm not vain! I just like them to hide my scar."

Snape raised an eyebrow at that, but didn't comment further. Harry rather thought he had distributed the product enough by now, but the massage felt so good, he didn't complain. While Severus washed his hands, Harry examined his hair in the mirror "That does look kinda good."

Because his hair was messy, it had a lot of volume and forcing it back the way Severus had, made Harry's face look more prominent, especially his eyes. He thought, it'd look better without the glasses, but as there was no way he could see clear for a meter without them, there was no chance for leaving them away.

"Why don't you do that?", Harry asked Snape, who was drying his hands by now.

"I do, seldomly."

"Never seen you with it."

"And you probably won't in the near future."

"Why though?", Harry asked, following him out of the bathroom.

"Too much trouble, I'm no pretty boy, I don't give much... I mean I do not care about appearances."

Harry grinned as he imagined what colourful words his father had left out, when he stopped mid-sentence and corrected himself.

"When do you care enough then?", Harry said, pulling on his coat, mittens, hat and Gryffindor shawl.

"When I go to a gala, ball or such."

"When do you ever go to something like that?", Harry asked, stopping in the middle of pulling on his hat. Snape took it from him and put it on carefully, as not to destroy his handiwork.

"They are part of certain gatherings related to potions. They like to make a fuss about it and you have to somehow fit in."

Harry grinned, imagining his father in tie and suit with sleeked back hair, making small talk "Can I come too?"

"As my apprentice you are excepted to, Mr. Potter.", Snape said and raised an eyebrow at him, before he threw him his invisibility cloak "Now vanish from my sight, please."

Harry rolled his eyes before hiding under the cloak.

Snape led him out of the wards, then casually held his arms away from his body until he felt Harry hugging him tightly. He glanced up and down the street before he apparated away. When they arrived at the graveyard Harry had last seen during the funeral, he felt his stomach clench. Severus led the way to the graves and they looked down on the freshly dug.

The headstone read "They that love beyond the world cannot be separated by it. Death cannot kill what never dies."

Harry felt dully surprised.

"You didn't use one of the bible quotes?", he asked quietly and his father answered, staring at the carving he had chosen.

"He was never very devout. It was only in his last time that he turned to his religion, it was not genuine as far as I can tell. And I believe he would have liked the fact that I chose these words for him."

Harry agreed to the last part of this statement but not the first "You never know. About the religion I mean."

"What's done's done.", Snape murmured and sighed. He conjured up flowers and set them on the grave. To Harry's surprise he conjured up another bouquet and held it out to Harry. Harry took off his cloak before receiving them.

"A few rows up, there is my mother's grave. Go set these on it."

Harry took them and nodded. Severus had not specified the row and he suspected that he wanted Harry to search for a while so he would have time alone at Tobias' grave. Harry left quickly to give his father some privacy.

When Harry had walked a few paces, Snape looked back to Tobias' grave and then knelt down on it.

"How can I be so lost without you, when you never were my haven?", he asked quietly "I loved you when I was a child, but all that drained away. The last years we spent together were a necessity. There was no affection, nothing that can resemble love. I believed you when you said you loved me. You did as much as you could. I was all that you had left. But I... I could not love you back, father and I feel bad for it." He gulped, stroking the earth on the grave "Even though after all you did, you hardly deserved my love. And still..." He looked up to spot the boy at a distance "I love Harry and I always will. I hope I can be a better father than you, I hope I can stray from your path."

He quieted then, kneeling on the grave and absent-mindedly looking at the headstone and carving.

Harry had found Eileen Snape (née Prince) and awkwardly lay flowers on her eternal bed.

"Hi.", he murmured, feeling stupid for it "I'm your grandson, I guess." He glanced behind him, seeing Severus head behind Tobias' headstone. He must be sitting "Severus adopted me. And I was with your husband for a while too. He was nice to me but Dad said he had been a git to you two, when he was a child. I'm sorry for that, I wish you had been happy then. But you know what? I think it was you, you were the one who taught Severus to be a good person." Harry looked back over his shoulder, making sure Severus was still where he had been before "He is a great Dad and he learned being a good parent from you. And I wanted to say: thanks. Thank you a lot for that. Without you I might still be at the Dursleys and unhappy. But now I have everything and it is all thanks to you, because you loved my Dad."

Harry shifted restlessly and glanced back again. Severus had gotten up and was moving closer to him.

"I think I would have loved you.", he said to the grave "And you would have loved me. I wish you had lived."

With these words he turned around and walked to Severus "I'll go to Tobias, then."

Snape nodded and walked up to his mother's grave. This time he did not kneel down. It was not the first time he was here "Mother. You've met my son. He is special, don't you think? You always wanted me to have children, always wanted to be a grandmother. And I know you tried to match me with Lily, to my intense embarrassment. Well, now I have her son. He is not born with my genes, but he is my child more than he was James' I think. He knew an infant and cared and loved his son. But I know Harry. I know his personality and I love him as a person. I have chosen my child and it was the best decision of my life." He kissed his fingers and touched the headstone "I love you."

He turned back and saw Harry, arms wrapped around himself, the invisibility cloak bundled up between them. He was shivering but Severus did not walk up to him, for he could see he was murmuring something to the grave and he wanted to give him privacy. Severus strolled casually down the rows, looking for names he would recognize and occasionally glancing at his son.

Harry stood in front of Tobias and said "I miss you. You were the only grandparent I ever had. I felt safe and good with you, like I could trust you. It was such a shock to learn how mean you had been to Dad. You know how Dad defended you? He wanted me to love you and be nice to you, it was important to him. I think I have never respected him more than then. He didn't care one wit for his feelings, he only cared for us. He's a great Dad, even though you were a git to him. I know you tried at the end, but that does not make better what you did before. I think he never believed you, you know, that you actually cared for him. But because you were nice to me he could not hate you any longer. Strange, isn't it? How we are connected to each other. Severus said that he believed he could only take me because he had overcome himself in taking care of you. He could tell you he loved you, because he saw you being nice to me. And I was nice to you because he told me to. He said he loved me back then because you made him, you were trying hard to make us come together and without you, I just know, he wouldn't have adopted me so soon. Well, thanks for that."

Harry shivered slightly and stared down at the grave. At first he had felt silly for talking to earth and stone, but he felt lightened now and it had come quite easily and fluently once he started. Marty was a genius, really. If he was selfish he would probably try and have Marty make advances to Severus, because if they married he'd have her around forever. He smirked at that thought and then saw at the corner of his eyes that his father was coming to him. Harry raised his head, when he was close and Severus put his hands on Harry's arms, rubbing warmth into them.

"You're cold, we should go on.", he said and Harry nodded. When Severus wrapped his arms around Harry again, he leaned gratefully into the embrace and closed his eyes. They apparated but didn't separate immediately. He felt quite drained after talking to his grandparents and dreaded going up to his parent's graves. Severus was rubbing his back to warm him and held him closely. Harry had almost made up his mind to ask Severus to go back home, when he received a kiss on his temple and his father whispered "I know its hard, but you are a brave young man."

He let Harry go and nodded to the graveyard.

"Aren't you coming?", Harry asked with a small voice.

"If you want me to.", Severus said and accompanied him inside. He knew where the Potter's graves were and lead him there. He stepped back a bit and let Harry approache them. When he saw Harry kneel down and sit cross legged in front of them, he walked out of hearing distance. But there was nothing to hear anyway, Harry just stared at the headstones, comparing the dates on them. Out of nowhere he felt tears welling up and choked them down. He didn't know what to say, he didn't want to stay but didn't want to go either. He looked up to search for his father who came to him immediately, reading what he wanted from his eyes.

"Harry?"

Harry reached his hand up for Severus to pull him on his feet "I want to go."

Severus looked at him surprised, he had spent a lot longer at his parent's graves than here. He looked into those green eyes, not quite understanding his reluctance to stay here. He turned Harry to face the graves and hugged him from behind, laying his chin on the boys head. Severus stared down at the graves and started talking himself.

"James, Lily. I have taken your child and made him mine. I hope you don't mind. But as you are not here, I have taken it upon myself to care for him. I am sure you would want the best for him and I doubt I am the best. But I am the only one he wants, so I will give my best. I love him and even if you yourself came to claim him, I would not give him up. I promise I will protect him and love him as if he was my own blood." He tightened his grip around the child in his arms "And I hope you can forgive me for... everything."

Harry sighed and leaned back into his father's embrace. Suddenly words did come to him and he spoke them quietly.

"I feel so bad. I could never love you, I never knew you. But you died for me and I have gone on and replaced you. I don't deserve to be standing here in front of you with Severus, when I should be mourning your death but am only glad I have him." He sobbed at that and felt his throat constrict. The head on top of his left its position and came to rest on his shoulder, long hair tickling his neck. "But they all say that you wouldn't mind, that you would be happy for me. And I want to believe them but I will never know, because you're gone. And I didn't deserve to loose you, to live in a cupboard for ten years or be treated like a house elf." Severus leaned his head against Harry's at that and whispered "No you didn't deserve that." "And I... I do deserve a parent, I deserve to be treated right and...", he hesitated and then said "I deserve to be loved and cared for and I want it. I am sorry for loosing you but I will never be sorry for gaining Severus."

"You do. You deserve all that.", Severus whispered, holding him tightly. Harry felt faintly embarrassed about it, but pushed the feeling away. He deserved it. He snuggled closer to his father and heard him chuckle.

"Sure you want me to have a relationship? You seem to be rather demanding enough."

Harry laughed at that "Can we go to Uncle Remus and Sirius?"

"Whatever you want.", Severus said, apparating from the spot, leaving two cold graves, with parents within that would have loved to raise their child but were robbed of the opportunity.