Chapter 49

The next couple of weeks seem to fly by. The trio tried to stay out of the Defense Professor's path as much as possible. Harry kept his head down and tried not to draw attention to himself. Though it seemed that Professor Umbridge was determined to try and bait Harry into doing something that would cause him to get another detention.

The first few classes, Harry didn't rise to the bait. He kept his head down. But lately Harry had been a little unsettled. It was to the point of worrying Hermione and Ron. What they didn't know was Harry was having nightmares. The first few times he was able to laugh them off, but they began to get more and more intense. So much so, that he wouldn't go back to sleep after finally waking up.

On this particular day, Harry had been up crying after the nightmare he just had, he was tired and upset. But he didn't want to bother his da with it. He knew he should but, for one, he didn't remember entirely what all happened in the dream, he would just wake up already crying, and also, he didn't want to jeopardize the blooming relationship he had with his da.

"Harry?" A quiet voice called out in the darkness.

"Ron," Harry whispered.

"Yeah, you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm okay?"

"You don't sound like it."

Harry sighed. No, he really didn't sound like it, but he couldn't remember why he was crying or stop the tears from flowing.

"I'll be okay; go back to sleep."

"Do you need," there was a short pause before Ron finished, "Professor Snape?"

Harry was a little shocked that Ron would ask that. And it was that small shock that stopped the tears from flowing. Harry couldn't believe that Ron would ask him that after how he acted when he first found out about him and his da.

"No," Harry smiled. "I think I'm good."

"Oh, okay. Goodnight then."

"'night, Ron."

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So far they had met twice a week. Harry would go down to his office on Thursday afternoon after his last class and work on his homework and have dinner in Severus' chambers. The reason behind that particular day was that Severus usually didn't have a Thursday afternoon class to teach. This would be the time that he would tutor the Weasley twins and also brew potions for the Infirmary. Also too, Harry only had one class on Thursday afternoon. So when Severus was done privately tutoring Fred and George Weasley, Harry was getting out of his last class. It wasn't a secret that Severus was tutoring the twins, but it wasn't widely known either. Something that Severus would like to stay that way.

The twins were packing up to leave and Severus was working on his own potion, when they heard the door open and close.

"Fred, George," Harry said, his voice full of surprise. "What are you doing here?"

"Detention." "Potions." The twins said at the same time.

Harry blinked as his eyebrows shot to his hairline. Severus merely turned to focus on his potion. He would let them deal with whatever they were going to say.

"Oh," Harry said. "Okay."

Quickly grabbing their things, Fred and George rushed out of the room, but not before saying their good byes to Harry.

Harry turned to Severus who still had his back towards him.

"If you must know," Severus drawled, his back still facing Harry. "I've been tutoring them since their first year."

Harry thought he received a shock before, now his jaw seemed to have hit the floor. His da, whom has never shown any kind of interest or care of any of the students (well before the bonding), was tutoring students on the side. And not just any students, but the twins. If it were ever asked before if Professor Snape even like to be in the same room with the twins, Harry would thought it would be a resounding no, but here he was, not only just in the same room but giving private tutoring to them as well. Harry couldn't help the smile that came across his face.

Severus turned around and looked at the boy.

"And what, may I ask, are you smiling about?" Severus asked his eyebrow arching.

Not at all discouraged by the slight sneer on his da's face, Harry's grin broaden and he said, "You really like them, don't you?"

Severus huffed his annoyance and turned back to his potion. Harry, letting a small giggle escape, walked over to his da. After sobering from his little laugh, that turned out he really needed, standing behind him, Harry just laid his head on Severus' back.

In that one movement, Severus knew something was wrong and knowing that he was now at a point in his potion that he didn't need to watch over it or put a stasis over it, quickly turned and wrapped his arms around the boy. It didn't take long for Harry's arms to wrap around Severus' waist. Severus could tell by the tightness of the grip that something was truly bothering Harry.

"What's wrong, Harry?" Severus' voice was soothing.

Harry wanted to tell him about the nightmares but he really couldn't remember them. He also wanted to tell him about Professor Umbridge but really didn't want to talk about the Toad either. All he wanted was to just soak up as much as he could being in the safety of his da's arms.

"Can I stay the night?" Harry mumbled against Severus' chest.

Severus sighed. As much as he would love to have the child in his chambers all the time, he knew that it was impossible for Harry to stay, especially, if they were trying to keep their true feelings about each other a secret.

Severus knew that what he was going to say next was going to hurt his child's feelings, but it had to be said.

"Harry," Severus said, soothingly. "You know the rules. You can stay on the weekends but not during the week." hoping that his tone would ease the hurt he knew Harry would feel after saying this.

"But it's just one night," Harry whined, still not moving from the comforting shoulder.

"Harry, you are expected to be in the Great Hall for supper."

"I don't have to be there all the time," Harry said, finally moving back and looking up at Severus. "If someone asks, I could just tell them that I was in the library studying."

"Harry, you are aware that you are a terrible liar." Harry huffed at that. "I do not want to spend this time in an argument, so go on into the chambers and start on your homework. If there is time before supper, we'll play a game of chess."

Harry sighed and nodded his head, as he stepped back from his da and headed to the door that led to his chambers.

Severus, turning back to finish his potion, really did hate enforcing that rule, but in order to keep them safe, Harry in particular, then he had to stick to it.

Harry sat down at the table in the small kitchenette, sighing. Harry knew deep down he wouldn't be able to stay, but being held by his da, he couldn't help saying it. He knew what the answer was going to be when the question left his mouth, but it didn't make it hurt any less. Usually when he did ask, which this wasn't the first time, he would let it go. But tonight, Harry just needed to be close to Snape as much as possible. Tonight, he was going to figure out a way so that he could sleep down in the dungeons instead of the tower. Pulling out his homework, Harry got started so that he would have no problem with his plans.

A half hour later, Severus walked into his chambers to see Harry sitting at the table, concentrating on his homework.

"How's it coming?" Severus asked walking over to the stove top, grabbing the kettle to put some water on.

"Okay," Harry mumbled with his head down.

Once the kettle was over the fire, Severus sat down across from Harry. When Harry made no attempt to lift his head, Severus reached over and pulled the parchment he was writing on away from him. Harry bit the inside of his cheek to keep from saying anything. He wasn't sure if his da was in a playful mood, which he learned through his weekly visits, or if his da was still upset that he asked to stay, again.

When nothing was said, Harry slowly lifted his head until he was looking at Severus.

"Are you still angry with me?" Severus finally asked.

It wasn't a playful mood that Harry saw in his dad, or even a serious one, it was one of hurt. The shock that his da thought that he was angry with him made his throat burn with tears. He couldn't help his jaw slacking at the thought of actually being angry. He wasn't angry. He really wasn't even hurt. Harry knew what the answer was going to be and it seemed like it was a question that was to get asked every so often.

"I … no … never," Harry croaked out through the lump that seemed to continue growing in his throat.

Before Severus could respond, the whistle on the kettle went off. Going over to the stove, Severus wasn't prepared for what happened next, and if he was asked later, he didn't even hear the chair move. A small body collided into his back with such force that the kettle slipped from his hand and crashing with a loud bang back onto the stove. Trying not to burn himself or the small hands that were now gripping him, Severus tired to take a step back. Small arms encircled his torso, squeezing tightly, as a pointy forehead tried to embed into his spine.

With great difficulty, Severus was finally able to turn around so that Harry was facing his chest and not his back. Though at times during the turn, it felt like Harry was going to squeeze all the air out of Severus' lungs. Though he didn't feel the same as when Harry attached himself to him at the Weasleys, Severus was worried that as upset as Harry is now, he wouldn't perform accidental magic again. Casting a feather-weight charm on the child, Severus lifted Harry up to his chest, and Harry's arms and legs automatically wrapped around him. Severus carried him into the living room where instead of sitting in his armchair, he sat on the sofa.

"Calm down, Harry," Severus said, soothingly. "It's alright. Calm down for me, child."

"I'm not angry," Harry mumbled into Severus neck. "Never angry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

"Shh, child," Severus said, rubbing circles on Harry's back. "Calm down for me."

"I'll be good," Harry cried. "I won't ask no more."

Severus' heart broke at that statement.

"You are good," Severus said. "Why would you think you're not?"

Harry didn't answer, he just tightened his hold. Honestly, he didn't remember why it was important to say that, but it just felt like he was supposed to say it.

Severus continued to rub and pat Harry's back until his grip loosened on his neck, and his sides weren't being pressed in by knobby knees. Not until Harry's breathing got under control and his head was laying on his shoulder and not pressed against his neck did he speak again.

"Feeling better, now?"

There was a small nod coming from his shoulder. Severus figured after the outburst he just witnessed, Harry really didn't feel like talking.

"Good," Severus sighed. "I do not want to waste our time together, so I have an idea."

Harry didn't lift his head, but tightened his grip as way of a sign to let Severus know he was listening.

"You have double potions tomorrow," Severus stated. Harry nodded again. "How about this, you will get detention with me tomorrow and it will be after supper so that you can stay overnight."

A smile broke across Harry's face. Never in his wildest dream did he think that getting detention would be something awesome. Even though, Harry didn't let go of Severus' robes, he tightened his grip.

Severus looked down at the child in his arms. His child. He couldn't explain why he felt the way he did earlier. Harry did always ask if he could stay the night, but this particular time it was different. Something in Severus hurt when he once again denied Harry the chance. And even though Harry took it the same way he always did, Severus couldn't help the feelings of hurt and dismay he was feeling after Harry left the lab. Never did Severus think that he would need reassurance. But deep down that's what this was. Harry, for the first time, had to reassure Severus that everything was the same. He knew he would have to get a handle on his emotions as he didn't want to ever put Harry on that kind of emotional roller coaster again. Looking at the child, who was now fifteen, laying on his chest, gripping his robes as if someone was going to try and remove him, as if that would ever happen. A contented sigh escaped the child's lips when Severus slightly tightened his arms. What happened next surprised Severus but at the same time felt completely natural; he kissed the child's forehead. That one action seemed to make Harry glow with love in his arms.

But like everything, this comforting hug must end, as the clock on the mantle chimed that it was now time for supper.

"Why don't you go wash your face and head up for dinner?"

"Okay," Harry beamed. Still smiling from the kiss he just received. Little did Severus know, that one action, that kiss, was the first time Harry had ever received such a loving gesture. It may have happened thousands of times from his mother and father when he was a baby, but he didn't remember those. This one, this one kiss, he would never forget.

The way he felt now nothing could dampen his mood. He just had to make it through to tomorrow where he would be able to spend the evening with his da and also spend the night.

After washing his face and bidding his da good night, Harry grabbed his things and rushed upstairs towards the Great Hall to have dinner with his friends.

That night was the first night in a couple of weeks that Harry didn't have a nightmare. He'd actually slept the entire night. When he opened his eyes, the first thing he noticed was the bear against his face. Taking in a deep breath, Harry stretched, got up and got ready for the day. A smile came across his face when he was in the shower as he remembered that he would be spending the evening and night with his da.

His good mood didn't last long. Since it was Friday, the fifth years Gryffindors and Slytherins only had two classes that day; double Defense and double Potions after lunch.

Going into the Defense class everyone got ready for the days lesson.

"Good morning, class," Umbridge said.

"Morning," the students chorused.

"Today, we will have a pop quiz," Umbridge said with a smirk. "And to ensure that you don't cheat, which I know you would never do, no one will have the same test." That was a lie. It was the exactly same test, just the questions were in different order.

Everyone was surprised by this. They were even more surprised by the questions on the quiz. It was asked what were the wand movements to produce a patronus? What was the incantation to conjure a patronus? Hermione looked over at Harry as he looked at the questions on his test.

"You have twenty minutes for this quiz," Umbridge said. "Begin, now."

Everyone struggled with their quiz, except for Harry. There were only five questions on his quiz and he knew all five answers. A small smile graced his lips as he just knew that this would be the best day ever as he knew he was going to pass this test and he would get to tell his da that he was doing good.

After the twenty minutes were up, Umbridge called for the slips of parchment.

"Now, I would like you all to read chapters two and three while I grade you on your quiz."

As no one wanted any trouble with the Professor, all quietly opened their books to the right chapters and began silently reading.

After another thirty minutes of silence, Umbridge stood up and cleared her throat. Everyone sat up in attention as they knew they would be getting their quizzes back.

"Now, I have to say that I am very disappointed," Umbridge began. "To think that there is one among you that thinks they are above everyone else. This was a quiz to see if you were indeed taught the Ministry standards of Defense. And I see that was not the case for all of you. One of you decided that you were to go outside the Ministry's guidelines. No one should have passed this quiz."

Harry's good mood suddenly turned sour in his stomach.

"And the fact that one of you not only answered all five questions but did so correctly makes me think that you believe that you are in some way special."

Harry lowered his head and balled up his fists trying to keep himself from shaking. Hermione looked over at Harry as did Ron.

"Mr. Potter," Umbridge said. "You will stay after and you have detention tonight. You think you are so special. I will show you how special you are."

This was not happening. He was supposed to spend the night with his da. He was supposed to tell he da that he did well on a quiz. His da was going to be proud of him. He hoped that maybe he could get another kiss on the forehead again. But all those hopes were crumbling around him. He, once again, received detention from the Toad. A person, who at the beginning of the year, his da told him to stay clear of. He knew he was going to have to do lines again. And with that, meant that he couldn't go to his da afterwards. The simple thought of his da being disappointed in him almost made him sick to his stomach. No, he couldn't let his da know he'd gotten in trouble.

The rest of the class went by in a blur for Harry. The next thing he knew the bell was sounding that it was lunch time. Before the class could gather their things, an owl came in through the top window and dropped a note on Umbridge's desk.

After reading the note, Umbridge looked up at Harry, who was still sitting in his seat.

"Go to lunch, Mr. Potter," Umbridge said. "You will report back here at five this evening."

Harry's shoulder's sagged more at the time he was to report back for detention. He wanted so badly to say that he couldn't make it, but he was scared what would happen if he said it, so he packed up his bag and walked out of the room.

Harry didn't feel like going to lunch. He had lost his appetite when he learned the time of his detention. He didn't want to see his da sitting at the Head table with the expectations of him showing up this evening. As he walked down the hallway, Harry absently rubbed his forehead where his da kissed him yesterday, wondering would he ever feel that kind of love again.

Harry walked to the Gryffindor Common Room, and didn't stop until he was in his dorm, by his bed. Grabbing his bear and sitting on the edge of the bed, Harry buried his head in the bear and fell into a fitful sleep.

"Mr. Potter."

Harry lifted his head and saw that he was sitting in a window sill on the second floor hallway. A smile came across his face as he saw his da walking towards him.

"Can you tell me the meaning of this?" Severus' tone was cold and harsh, causing the smile to falter on Harry's face.

"Sir?"

"I see you have detention with Professor Umbridge."

"Yes, sir," Harry said, lowering his head. "I'm sorry, sir."

"Didn't I tell you to stay off her watch-list?" Severus snapped. "Didn't I tell you do not get on her bad side? You just don't listen."

"It wasn't my fault,"Harry tried to explain.

"It's never your fault," Severus spat back. "I tell you what, don't bother coming down to my chambers tonight." Harry felt the first tear cling to his eyelashes. "As a matter of fact, if you can't seem to follow simple rules, then don't bother darkening my door anymore. You are no longer welcomed in my chambers."

Harry couldn't believe what he was hearing. He couldn't breathe. His chest felt like weights were on him. His da was rejecting him. Harry looked up and saw that his da was leaving. Harry tried to stand but fell to his knees. He wanted to scream, but couldn't get enough air in his lungs to push it out.

Da, Harry thought, Da, I'm sorry. Please come back. Please don't hate me.

Harry's eyes popped opened. Lately, when Harry would wake up, tears would stream down his face but he wouldn't remember what it was that caused him to start crying. Today, he remembered his nightmare. He remembered the feeling of rejection he got from that dream. Looking over at the clock, he saw that it was twenty minutes into Potions class. Not wanting to rush and see that disappointing look, Harry rolled over, curled up in the bed with his bear tightly against his chest.

"I am bad," Harry sobbed into the back of the bears head.

TBC