Forgiveness

Severus walked out of the alley. Looking at the house, Severus felt his heart plummet. Even though the house was still standing, there was a part of the roof that was missing. He walked into the house there were papers all over the place. The furniture in the main room was undisturbed. Walking up the stairs, Severus looked down into the dead stare of is old school nemesis. Looking at Potter, he could see that the man had been caught by surprise. He was in his house robe and his wand was no where near him.

A small whimper brought Severus out of his musing. He continued up the stairs, careful not to hit or kick James' body on the way up. Walking down the hallway was like walking in a vacuum. Everything was eerily quiet. Only a faint noise of whimpering was coming from the far end room. Severus continued to walk down the hallway until he got to the room where the door was blasted from its hinges.

When he walked into the room, he couldn't breathe. He couldn't stand. He couldn't even vocalize his grief. There lying on the floor motionless, was his first, best, and only friend, his reason for living. This was not supposed to happen. She was supposed to be protected. Never again would he hear her beautiful voice again. Never again would he see those enchanting green eyes that he seemed lose himself. Never again would he have to chance to once more beg for her forgiveness. It was all his fault. She would still be alive if it wasn't for him.

Not even remembering falling on the floor, Severus crawled over to Lily's lifeless body and picked her up in his arms. He just sat there holding her, rocking back and forth, as the tears streamed down his face.

After sometime, Severus lowered his friend back to the floor and tried to stand up. His legs, shaking from grief, could not hold his weight, and he came crashing to the floor. His dignity long since gone, Severus crawled away from his friend for the last time.

Still not on his feet, Severus made his way out of the room that held his heart. Slowly, he stood up and started the trek back down stairs. Passing his school time nemesis again, Severus walked into the parlor. He felt something crinkle under his foot, so he looked down and saw a letter. Having known Lily for more than half of his life, he knew instantly that the writing on the paper was his late friend's. Bending down to pick up the parchment, Severus saw a picture under it and picked it up as well. Looking at the letter, the tears started to well up again.

Severus,

I know it's been a long while since we've talked. The way things are now, this war, it seems idiotic to waste a longtime friendship over immaturity. I miss you. I miss my friend. I guess I haven't been a good friend to you. I was really hurt when you called me that name. But after thinking on it, I realized that what I did was not respectful to you either. You were humiliated in front of a lot of people and I did something that did more damage than good to your already wounded pride. I hope you will understand that I was not trying to make it look like you couldn't stand up for yourself. You've been through so much growing up, and James and Sirius did not make it any easier. I really only wanted to help, but I'm sure I didn't. I want to tell you; I forgive you. It was my pride and stubbornness that prevented me from telling you, but I forgave you that night. And I knew that when you really started to hang around Malfoy, Crabbe, and Nott that I'd totally lost your friendship.

But enough about the past, I wanted to tell you that even though I've moved on and married James, I haven't stop thinking about my best friend. Attached is a picture of my child. I wanted you to see your godson. Yes, Severus, this is Harry. James named Sirius his godfather, but I was determined that you would be too. He's so beautiful. He's a sweet baby. You would love him; I just know it.

I sent a duplicate copy of this picture to Sirius as I wanted both of his godfathers to see this happy child that will one day out-fly James on the Quidditch pitch.

Please, Severus, be a part of Harry's life. I know that I'm asking a lot, but I know you will take this task. The world is not a sure place, and I want to make sure that Harry has as many allies backing him as he grows up in this world.

Send a reply of your answer.

Your friend forever,

Lily

Tears were streaming down the dour Potion Master's face. He was biting his fist trying to keep his wailing from sounding around the quiet house. He re-read the letter over and over. She forgave him. After all this time, she forgave him.

With as shaking hand, Severus reached to the floor and picked up the picture. James must have taken the picture, as he was not in it. Lily was sitting on the couch as baby Harry was flying around the pallor on a toy broom. Happy and content. Then he heard something that brought him out of his own thoughts. Crying. Wailing. Screaming.

Severus looked up at the ceiling, then pulled himself off the floor. Once again, he climbed the stairs and walked down the hallway. This time it did not feel like he was in a vacuum. The crying was getting louder and louder. When he walked into the room where his friend was still laying on the floor, he saw, in the broken crib just behind her, baby Harry pulling himself up on the side railing, screaming his poor little head off. Severus looked at the child and saw that he was reaching for his mother, and it broke his heart. Carefully, he walked over to the crib. Harry looked up at the dour man and for a split second he stopped crying. Harry then reached up with his little chubby arms towards Severus. Severus, not really thinking about what he was doing, grabbed the baby from under his arms and pulled Harry to his chest.

Harry's wailing instantly changed to small hiccups and gasps as he laid his head on the dark man's shoulder. His two middle fingers went into his mouth as he began to calm down. His itchy red eyes began to droop as he laid on the comforting shoulder.

Severus looked down at the child as he began to nuzzle down. He didn't know what he was doing. Severus was never good with babies. He'd only just started working at Hogwarts, and there, the students were only as young as eleven. But something in his heart was telling him to take the child. So, protectively wrapping his arms around Harry, he bent over in to the crib and grabbed the boy's blanket, stuffed dog and broom. He pocketed them and wrapped the blanket over the child's head and shoulders. With one last look at Lily's body, Severus walked out of the room with his godson.

He was walking out of the house and was heading towards the street, when he was stopped.

“What do you think you're doing here, Snivellous?” a voice said, coming from out of the house.

Severus stopped in his tracks, but did not turn around. He really did not want to deal with the other man right now. He was not in the right mindset. Harry mewled and cooed. Severus' arms tightened.

“Turn around, Snape!” Sirius walked out of the house and walked towards the Potion Master.

Severus turned and faced Sirius.

“What do you want, Black?” Severus sneered. “Come to finish the job?”

“What are you talking about?” Sirius demanded. “This is all your fault. They're dead. And it's all your fault. What do you have there?”Sirius said, pulling the blanket off Severus' shoulder.

When he saw baby Harry in the Greasy Git's arms, the animagus pulled out his wand and pointed it at Severus.

“What are you doing with my godson?”

Severus looked down at Harry, then back at Sirius. He took a step back, then apparated away. Sirius stood there in shock.

He took Harry. That Greasy git took Harry. Harry was gone. The last thing left of James and Lily, and it was gone.

“I WILL FIND YOU, SEVERUS SNAPE! AND I WILL KILL YOU!” Sirius howled into the air.

TBC