After Severus came out of the pensive, he sat down heavily and stayed there for a long time. It was hard to comprehend what he had seen. He could barely stop himself from rolling on the floor with laughter at that last scene. Seeing that maniac go up in flames had been one of the sweetest moments of his life. From now on, he would have something to smile about that didn't involve the pain of remembering Lily.
The shock of Potter's past kept him from enjoying the memory as much as he should. He couldn't believe how wrong he had been when it came to the brat. Potter's childhood had been horrendous, a thousand miles from the cushioned life Severus had expected him to have. He could only be glad that he hadn't seen any of the explosive violence his own father had heaped upon him. But even without the regular thrashings, Potter's 'family' had been downright abusive.
The fact that the older Potter had been so calm while he'd watched his younger self being treated so unfairly, was more than a little bit disturbing. All those times the child ran head first into trouble, Severus had believed the boy was simply being the idiotic Gryffindor Severus had expected him to be. But after seeing those memories, he suspected the rash behaviour was the result of a severe lack of self worth, not an overinflated ego.
Severus considered the possibilities for several hours before he decided to let it go. There was nothing he could do about Potter's childhood, and he couldn't change the way he had treated the child. All he could do was move on, and try to do better in the future. One thing was certain, he had to speak with the boy. He needed to know exactly how wrong he had been. Were any of the things he believed about the child true? Or had he really been that blind to the truth?
When Potter finally returned, a week after he had visited the last time, Severus was deep in thought. Looking at an old picture, he had been considering the rest of his life. He didn't have any idea what he was going to do now. He'd lost the only person he had ever loved and now he didn't have a goal to live towards. He didn't have a job or anything else to take his mind away from the memories of the previous year. When he'd noticed Potter, he had startled and burned one of his most precious possessions. He'd almost scolded the boy for it, but he held back. After all, it wasn't the brat's fault Severus hadn't been paying attention. Nor was it Potters fault that he burned the picture as a reflex.
When Potter told him that the headmistress had asked him to return, Severus hadn't been certain of what to do. He had never liked teaching, and didn't really want to go back to it. But there was a part of him that was grateful for the opportunity. He had been thinking of what he was going to do now without much success. He wanted to focus on research, maybe even publish some of the potions he had invented over the years, but he hadn't been able to concentrate on it yet.
To many things had changed, too many questions were left unanswered. And it wasn't just questions about Potter. He hadn't spoken to anyone besides the brat and was still restricting himself to magazines only. For years, Severus had lived only as a spy for Dumbledore. Every one of his decisions had revolved around that one goal, even the way he had thought his students. Now that it was all over, he didn't know how to feel. He'd thought that letting go of his old life was the best solution. But now, with the offer of returning to Hogwarts on the table, he found himself looking for a reason to go. The fact that potter was still in danger was an excuse he was happy to use.
Of course, that meant he would be working with Potter for a whole year. Severus had thought up a plan as fast as he could. Before, he believed the child to be average, his O.W.L. grades nothing but a fluke. If the brat was going to teach part of his classes, Severus needed to figure out how good, or bad, he really was with magic.
Seeing him work on those potions had been an eye opener. Clearly the brat was capable behind a cauldron, not brilliant but much better than expected. It shouldn't have been a surprise really. After all the things the child had accomplished, Severus should have expected this. But he hadn't, and he didn't like it. Not only had he missed the signs that the child was being abused, he'd let his own bias towards Potter Senior influence his teaching. While he'd created part of his professor persona around his job as a spy, that had been his own choice, he didn't like knowing that a Potter of all people had influenced his behaviour that much.
So Severus had taken a risk. He'd taken out the book. It had been an impulsive decision. He wanted answers but he'd recognized that obstinate look. It was the one all teenager's got when faced with authority. That senseless defiance that had let to the downfall of so many students. So he'd gone for the first bribe he could think of. When he saw the look on Potters face, he had wanted to laugh. It was obvious the child would say anything to get his hands on the book, no matter how hard he tried to hide it.
It was rather flattering, but it also worried him. The book was extensive and held as much dark magic as defensive magic. It hadn't been written for students, and Potter didn't have the best track record with handling dangerous information. But Severus wanted answers and this was the fastest way to get them. He would just have to keep an eye on Potter.
When Potter began his convoluted explanation of his first year at Hogwarts, Severus was slightly impressed by the boy's ingenuity. The child seemed to be able to make connections where most would only have seen random bits of information. Potter made it sound as if it had been pure luck that he'd gone to the third floor while Quirell was trying to steal the stone, but Snape expected differently. The child had known, maybe not consciously, but somehow he'd known. Potter wasn't a magnet for trouble, he was a trouble-detector. Or maybe a trouble-diviner was a better description, considering that the brat seemed to have no clue how he always found himself in those kind of situations.
It made Severus curious to see what the child could do if he had some training. And if Potter's assertion about his magic was true, and Severus' suspicion was correct, he was definitely going to need some real training.
After the boy left, Severus had gone to his office and started to make a list of defence subjects for each year. If Potter was going to help him teach those dunderheads, he would have to test the child on everything but the seventh year material. He had a feeling Potter would be proficient enough when it came to the practical work, it was the theory that worried him. Not to mention that the child had absolutely no experience teaching anything but a few spells to a group of his friends. If nothing else, it would be interesting to see how Potter dealt with a class full of Gryffindors and Slytherins.
The following day Severus wanted to go to the Hogwarts Library to look for a possible explanation for the increase in Potter's magic, but he suspected a visit to the school would take up most of his day. And he had promised Potter a few hours with his book. So, he had stayed home and continued to prepare for another year at Hogwarts. He could use most of the material that he had used the last time he had thought the classes, but he would have to make some adjustments. He would have to find a way to compensate for last year.
Potter had already been reading for two and a half hours, and Severus had still not figured out how to do it. He had no desire to talk to anyone about the previous year, but something had to be done. For a year students had been practising the Crusiatus Curse on other students, that couldn't be ignored. Sighing, he called Potter into his study.
The child came in and sat down without a word, still holding the book open in his hands. Taking a quick look, Severus was impressed with how far he'd gotten. He was currently holding the book open in the middle of chapter five. And none of those chapters were short, or easy to read. Momentarily forgetting why he'd called the boy into his office, Severus nodded towards the book asked “What do you think?”
The grin the child gave him was another surprise, as was his enthusiastic answer “Ooh, it's amazing sir. It's the most extensive and honest text I have ever read about the dark arts. The part on blood magic is really interesting and I like the way you classify magic. It's a lot better that the whole black and white thing.”
“It's not the magic, it's the intention of the caster that counts.”
“Yeah, that. Though, I don't completely agree with that. There are spells that are bad, no matter what the intention.”
Severus cocked his head an looked at the boy “Explain.”
Potter shrugged “Well, I was trying to think of light ways to use certain dark spells. I can see Sectumsempra being used to amputate someone, or Avada Kedavra when there is no other way to relieve someone of suffering. But unless you count the satisfied feeling a good Crucio can give the caster, I don't think there is anything good about that curse. And when I used Imperius, I had a really good reason but it still felt really bad.”
“When did you use those spells?” Severus asked, trying not to let the worry into his voice. He didn't like the fact that the brat had used unforgivables, he was too young.
Potter bit his lower lip and looked away before he answered “I tried to use Crucio on that Bellabitch after she killed Sirius, but I couldn't hold it for more than a second. A month ago I used it on Carrow because he spit McGonagall in the face.. He screamed, flew against the wall and passed out.”
Severus blinked a few times, trying to process that information. On one hand, he wanted to applause the brat for getting one over on Amycus. That piece of filth deserved much worse. On the other hand, he was more than a bit concerned about the state of the boy's magic and mind. That curse was supposed to cause pain, it was not suppose to throw someone across the room and knock them out. Filing that bit of information away to be discussed after he had done some research, he asked “And Imperius?”
Potter gave him a quick glance then shrugged “We needed to get into Gringotts but they already suspected that we were coming, so I used Imperius on two goblins.”
Severus raised an eyebrow “And you succeeded in one try?”
Again, the boy shrugged “Yeah well, I had to. Didn't I?”
“Indeed you did.” Severus looked over the parchment on his desk and handed Potter the information on the first three years, changing the subject. Now was not the time to discuss Potter's magic and the way he used it.
After looking at the parchment for a moment Potter gave him a curious look “This is the material for Defence classes?”
“Is something wrong with it, Mr. Potter?” Severus tried to keep the annoyance out of his voice but wasn't entirely successful.
The brat smirked at him and nodded. Ripping of a corner from a parchment to use as a bookmark, Potter closed the book and put in on the desk. Sitting back in the chair with, what Severus classified as a smug grin on his face, he said “Well, since you're asking. The material is fine in general. You have reasonable expectations for each age group. Though, I have a suspicion you are underestimating the older students, but we'll get to that later.” Potter held up the subject list for the first year. “This is mostly fine. I would like to move around some of the subjects, ensure a bit more variation during the semester, but most of the subjects I had in mind are there.”
“Most?” Severus' voice was bland, he wasn't sure what to think of Potter's audacity.
“We can't just ignore what happened last year, sir. A lot of the younger students were being used as practise dummy's and there are muggle-born students that were told they weren't good enough to be witches or wizards. That has to be addressed.”
“I am a professor, not a counsellor.”
“Yeah, and last year you were the headmaster who did nothing while students were being tortured.” Potter's eyes widened and he slapped a hand in front of his mouth.
Sucking in a breath between his teeth, Severus clenched his hands. Potter was right, but part of him still wanted to snap at the brat. Taking a few calming breaths, he narrowed his eyes at the child. “And how do you suggest I begin to fix that? Do you possess some magic cure all?”
“I think that is part of the reason why I'm supposed to teach the younger students. They were treated as victims, they are not going to appreciate being thought by you.”
Severus scoffed “And you believe the older students are likely to be happy with the arrangement?”
“They might not like it, but it will be good for them.”
“How so?”
Harry sighed and folded his arms in front of his chest “You're likely to be the only adult who can understand them. Whether they were forced to torture others, simply accepted it or maybe even liked it, you've been there. The circumstances may have been completely different, but you can understand both the allure of the dark arts as well as the disgust that comes from being forced to do things you don't want to do.”
“You seem to be under the misconception that you know how I feel about things.”
A shadow fell over Potter's face “I know how I felt. And we are not that different.”
“Now, I know you've gone insane.” Severus almost choked with repressed laughter. The child had gone completely mad. But oh, how he wished Potter's father and godfather could have heard that.
Potter grinned at him “Probable, but it's still true. Anyway, the headmistress arranged for a counsellor to be available for the next year, she told me everyone is required to have at least one session. So, they'll have someone to talk to if there are problems but I still think it's important to discuss it in Defence.”
“What exactly do you want to discuss?”
“Well.. I was planning on giving everyone the chance to ask questions during the first lesson–”
“I will not be answering questions from insolent children.”
Potter rolled his eyes “I didn't say you had to. I doubt anyone would even dare to ask you anything. But I doubt they'll have that problem with me and if I don't answer some questions, they'll never pay attention to the actual lessons.”
“Fine, if you want to waste your time, go ahead. Just make certain you cover all the material by the end of the year.”
“I'll do my best but I can't promise anything.”
“And why would you not be able to do as I told you?”
Potter shrugged a shoulder “Like I said, the first year material is fine, but how are you going to ensure that the older students are up to scratch? Defence hasn't exactly been the most stable subject you know?”
“That's what the revision test in the first week is for.”
“Yeah, that's one way to learn how much they know, but it's not really effective is it? They'll be fresh out of summer. Most of them won't know the answers even if they did learn it in previous years.”
“If they can't answer the questions, they don't know the material well enough. But what did you have in mind?”
“I was going to use one or two of the first lessons to go over the material with the students in each class. Give them the opportunity to tell me what they've studied and what they haven't.”
“So that they can lie and skip all the boring lessons?”
Potter scoffed “Would you have lied about that when you were in school sir?”
“Of course not.”
“Well, neither would I. Maybe for some of the other subjects, but this is Defence. There may be one or two students who would try to wiggle in a subject or two they haven't discussed but I doubt the rest of the class will be very happy with that. Not to mention, I can always give them a test to check their information.”
“It would be faster, and easier, to test them at the start of the year.”
“Maybe, but they'll get better answers if we give them a chance to study. I'm aware you don't care about their grades, but think of all the material you won't have to discuss if they have a chance to revise on their own.”
“Fine, you can have them review their previous years however you want. But I want to see a lesson plan before each class and I want to stay informed about the overall progress in each year. And I expect you to keep up with your own work, no matter how busy you get.”
Potter nodded slowly “Hermione promised to help with checking homework, I'll be fine.” Leaning forward, Potter took the other lists of the desk. After looking them over, the brat looked up and grinned “You'll have to adjust your material for the sixth and seventh years.”
“How so?”
“A lot of them already know how to conjure a corporeal Patronus, and I've seen some amazing blasting hexes. On the other hand, most of them have had only two years of decent defence education.”
“What are you suggesting I do? Question every one of them on what they know and what knowledge they lack?”
Potter shrugged “Maybe. I was thinking of having them team up and demonstrate the spells they know.”
“And what about the theory?”
“Homework. Have them write an essay on one creature each week for a semester or two.”
Severus snorted at that. It seemed the brat had actually thought things out. At least partially. “You wish to write an essay for defence each week?”
“Well, I don't think that would work for seventh year... There aren't enough weeks in the year to write an essay on all the creatures we've studied in the first six years. Also, the actual seventh year students missed almost everything that should have been discussed in their sixth year.”
“So you are suggesting I go over all the subjects at the start of the year and trust the students to be honest.”
“That's what I have been saying, isn't it?”
Severus counted to ten. If the brat was going to act this insolent for the rest of the year, some-one was going to get hurt. Deciding to knock the brat down a few pegs, Severus stood up and held his hand out for the parchments. Potter shot him a strange look and handed the scrolls back. Taking them, Severus walked out. “Follow me, Potter.”
He let the boy into his laboratory and through another concealed door into the second basement. It had once been used to store booze, but anything alcoholic had disappeared during the time his father was alive. Now, he used it as a training room. It was too small for duelling but the walls had been reinforced, in the muggle way as well as the magical, and the sound of spell blasts hitting them would be completely absorbed by the surrounding dirt. Since his neighbours could easily see into his back yard, this was the only place he could practise without destroying his house. He had to test the brat's spell capacity somewhere, and he had no desire to go to Hogwarts yet.
Potter entered the room and looked around with some confusion on his face. Repressing his desire to role his eyes at the child, Severus told him to close the door and strolled to the opposite side of the room. Waiting until the child turned back around, Severus scrutinizes his attire. The brat was wearing muggle clothes. Blue jeans that looked recently bought, and a grey t-shirt that Severus suspected used to belong to Potter's elephant cousin. “Why do you wear that? Don't know how to do the laundry?” he couldn't help but needle the brat, it was habit.
Potter didn't take the bait. Giving a long suffering sigh that got on Severus' nerves, he asked “What are we doing here.”
Instead of answering, Severus waved his hand toward Potter's attire. “Those jeans are too tight for fluent movement and not durable enough to resist even the weakest spell. While that shirt allows you to move more freely, it's large enough to get hooked behind something or worst, grabbed onto.”
Potter, now frowning, looked down at his clothes before shooting him a glare. “You run the same risk with that cape you like to billow around.”
This time he did role his eyes. “Are your clothes made to resist all but the Unforgivable Curses? Are they made to be removed with a single tug for safety?”
“Well, at least I would notice when someone set them on fire.” Once again, Potter's eyes widened and he slapped a hand in front of his mouth.
Severus gritted his teeth. It wasn't as if he hadn't suspected that the brat had something to do with that incident, he just hadn't expected to hear it out loud. “I suppose your little friends where trying to save you from my curse?”
Biting his lip, Potter nodded. “Yeah, it was supposed to be a distraction. It was a good thing 'Moine pushed Quirell of his seat by accident.”
Severus wanted to laugh at the luck the boy had, but kept himself from doing so in order not to give the child the wrong idea. He wasn't happy with the revelation, but he couldn't really blame them either. It seemed to be the theme when talking to Potter about the past. So, instead of holding on to past hatred, he took a calming breath and said “Aah, well.. Let's try to leave all that behind us for now, shall we?”
The brat was looking at his shoes when he shrugged and said “Yes, sir.”
Signing, Severus snapped at the boy “Potter, stop that whole obedient little mouse crap now.”
Potter glared at him with fire in those green eyes. Severus sucked in a breath. He'd seen that look on the boy before, usually when Severus was treating him unfairly. But it was the first time since Lily, that he had looked at those eyes without seeing bloody Potter. Before, he'd hated looking at the child's face because he hated seeing those eyes and feeling that never ending hatred for Potter at the same time. Now though, he could look at those eyes and remember Lily without any thought of Potter.
It wasn't that the resemblance was gone, it was simply no longer important. He didn't know Potter, he'd never really known either of the Potters. While James had been an arrogant little ass during their school years, Severus had never really spoken to him after they graduated. For some reason, it was starting to seem increasingly unlikely that Lily would have married Potter if he had never changed. He wondered if he could finally let the past go because of Potter Junior or because of the dream he had had before he'd woken up in that shack. Not willing to consider either of those options, he asked “Where is your wand?”
The brat reached up and inside something around his neck that Severus couldn't see. A moment later, his hand reappeared holding his wand.
“If you're attacked, you'll never get to your wand in time.”
Potter looked at him for a moment, the corners of his mouth twitching, and put his wand on the floor next the his foot. Still crouched on the floor, the brat looked him up and down ones before he stopped near his knees and flicked out a hand.
Severus blinked ones as he was staring at the ceiling a second later. The brat had knocked his legs from under him with a flick of his hand, without touching his wand or uttering a word. What the... Standing up in one fluent movement, he glared at the boy.
Potter was standing with his wand in his hand, looking extremely apprehensive.
Against both their expectations, Severus started laughing. He wasn't completely positive what was so funny. He'd hit the floor hard and his back was still screaming in protest, but he couldn't help himself. When he'd finally calmed down, he asked “Any other surprises?”
Potter shrugged nonchalantly “I was practising wandless summoning and I figured, might as well learn how to blow things away too. It's a handy skill, you know.”
“It is indeed.” Severus nodded with slightly more respect for the brat than he'd had before. “You might want to expand you're spell repertoire. If you can manage those two with that kind of precision, you might even be able to create a decent wandless shield.”
Potter pursed his lips before he nodded “Fire a stinging hex at me.”
Severus hesitated only a moment before he complied. The brat waved his hand in front of his chest and the spell shattered against a softly glowing, yellow screen. It shimmered a moment, as though it was a thin sheet of water, before it vanished. Severus couldn't help but stare at the empty air where the shield had been. He'd never seen a shield like that. It looked simple, just powerful enough to stop the simple hex, but it was wandless as well as non-verbal. “Was that intentionally weak?”
The Gryffindor shrugged one shoulder “I don't know. I created it accidentally. Didn't fancy endangering my future children with a stupid stinging hex.”
Severus snorted “Let me guess, Miss Weasley?”
“No, Ron. We were trying to keep ourselves occupied. But now that you mention it.. Ginny may have been the cause for his aim in that case.”
“Whatever the case, that shield is fine for a single stinging hex, but it will never hold up for anything stronger.”
“I know, it was only meant to block that one. I haven't tried to block anything stronger, but I think I can adjust it for different spells. ”
Severus cocked an eyebrow and fired a shaving hex at the brat's head. Half hoping the brat couldn't block it, he looked at the brat made once again waved towards the spell as if pushing it aside. The shield that appeared was orange but was otherwise similar to the yellow shield. Severus followed up with a non-verbal tongue tying curse, and was rewarded with the wide-eyes look on the brat's face when his latest shield was too weak to block the curse.
The brat frowned and pointed his wand at Severus, casting a very well aimed non-verbal Jelly-Legs Curse that put Severus flat on the ground once again. Groaning he got up and glared at the brat “For that, I'm not going to undo that curse for a while. Show me twenty-five perfectly executed non-verbal spells and I might change my mind. You can use the wall as your target.” When Potter didn't move he added “You can always learn a non-verbal Finite, but I doubt that would be faster.”
Potter grumbled something illegible but walked forward some steps and started firing of hexes. After the third blasting hex, Severus told him he would add one extra spell for each spell he used twice. Another few grumbles later, the brat started switching spells. He was at number eleven when he finally lowered his wand with a frown. Raising his wand towards Severus, he fired an Expelliarmus followed up by a summoning charm. Severus stared at the boy in consternation. This was the third time the brat had hit him with a spell. He definitely needed to start working out again. Before he became so slow any idiot student could disarm him.
Potter levitated the wand, and moved it back towards Severus who took it out of the air, before he lowered his wand with a slight shrug.
Severus raised an eyebrow “Don't know any others?” Taking pity on the brat when said brat almost choked trying to answer, Severus released him from the tongue-tying curse.
Potter sputtered a bit before he said, with another mutinous glare for Severus “I know other spells, I just can't do them silently yet. Not to mention that I have no idea how well I'm doing when I'm just throwing spells at a wall. Don't you have a dummy or something?”
“No, this is only a temporary home. I use this room for speed practise only.”
“Okay, so why are we here?”
Severus held up the scrolls he had brought. “You are going to show me all the spells on these lists. You will be completely proficient in every single one before the school year starts.”
Potter just shrugged and took the first year list. Glancing over it, he started casting the spells at the wall, never looking away from the page. In only a minutes he progresses through second and then third year. It took Potter a few times to cast a decent Aqua Eructo but he went through the rest of the fourth, fifth and sixth years without breaking a sweat. When he got to seventh year, he looked up at Severus “Any chance you'll allow me to study up on these before I have show them to you, or are do you just want to see me humiliate myself?”
Severus raised an eyebrow “You think I expect you to cast everything flawlessly on your first try?”
“Yeah, I do actually.”
“And yet, you showed up here without preparation..”
Severus was quite impressed with the scowl on the child's face when he said “It is summer, I just put an end to a war and I came here to enjoy some time reading, not to be tested on my knowledge of spells.”
Severus waved a hand, dismissing the child's excuses “Fine, we'll go over the rest next week. Take those scrolls with you and study up on the material. Come by Saturday, and bring your broom.”
Potter gave him a strange look, shrunk the scrolls and put them away. Before he left the room, Potter gave him one last look “You should really leave your house, you're starting the get a bit pale.”
After the brat had gone to Merlin only knew where, Severus went back into his laboratory and finished the potion Potter had started the day before. The potion turned out perfect. Which made Severus both proud and extremely annoyed. It was because of his book that Potter had finally learned to brew correctly, yet it stung that the brat had never managed it during his classes.
The following day, Severus took Potter's moronic advise and apparated to Hogwarts. As he was walking up towards the castle, he was stopped by Hagrid, who clapped him on the back, shook his hand and thanked him at least ten times. By the time that he got to his old office, he had been stopped by every single inhabitant of the castle, and that included the ghosts. Minerva was waiting at the bottom of the staircase and pulled him into a hug as soon as he was within reach.
Feeling extremely awkward, Severus let her pat his back a few times before he pulled away. Minerva was apologizing so profusely that Severus could barely get a word in. When he finally managed to tell her there was no need, she just waved him off.
He spend several long hours talking to the new headmistress, who had a never-ending list of questions. When he finally got down to the library and found the books he needed, it was late and he decided to stay at the school. Sitting down in his favourite chair, he was glad he had never given up his rooms in the dungeons.
He woke up several hours later, a book laying open on his lap and a crick in his neck. Groaning he got up, stretched and went to take a shower. It was time for him to deal with the real world and go visit the ministry. He could only hope they wouldn't lock him away until his trial started.
Chapter 8
Chapter End Notes:
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