A World Of Grey Clouds by Livia Ethelind

“Get up!”

The command was simple enough but somehow Harry's body wouldn't obey. She was shaking like a leaf and emotions she didn't understand whirled around in her head. Her vision was blurry. Then she felt Petunia's skinny fingers grasp her arm and forcibly pull her to a standing position.

“Go upstairs! Now!” she heard her aunt say.

A firm shove followed and Harry snapped out of it and made for the stairs. She could hear Petunia follow her. She reached her room and flung herself on the bed.

“Don't try anything. I'll let you know when you're needed.”

The tone was harsh but there was something else in Petunia's voice – concern? She heard the door close and the awful sound of the locks clicking before her aunt's footsteps moved down the stairs. She lay still for a while and listened carefully. Both professors had stormed out of the house and Harry had felt her heart sink. They left her! Here! What was she going to do? She had sat still on the floor for several minutes, waiting, hoping that professor McGonagall would return. She had said it wasn't Harry's fault had she not? But her aunt had been right after all. As soon as they saw, as soon as they truly saw what she was – they ran from her as fast as their legs could carry them.

Harry let her hand brush through her hair. It felt differently. It wasn't as coarse as before, it was silky. There was that too! She sat up and looked into the transfigured mirror she was still holding. She however still couldn't see clearly so she pulled off her glasses and dried her eyes. She blinked. She could see everything perfectly clearly – and she wasn't wearing glasses. She suddenly realized the she had previously been looking over the rim of her glasses without realizing. What was happening? She looked back down at the mirror. She recognized the girl in there instantly when McGonagall had given it to her. She had seen the same face in that mirror at Hogwarts. But she had been wrong. It was no sister. It was her! And apparently it was her true face. She reached up and touched the tip of her nose. Her eyes were red and her cheeks still moist from the tears. She didn't dislike this face. No. But she hated it in a different way – because it was her true self but not the one she had imagined.

And there was another matter entirely. McGonagall had said that it was possible for Petunia's words to be true and that Harry's changed appearance was proof that supported her story. Harry was willing to believe that this hidden face was real – after all it had somehow fixed her eyesight. It didn't really bother her that she didn't look the same! Well, she wasn't completely different. She still had her mother's eyes and she was happy about that! It was her aunt's claims that Harry's father wasn't James that caused the tears.

She had always tried to imagine what her parents would be like. James was strong, brave and good. Lily was beautiful and loving. They were both really good at everything and everybody liked them. And they loved her. And they were sad that they couldn't be with her. And if they hadn't died she would have been happy all the time! The truth was that she had only been pretending and it hurt! Pretending was some evil thing her relatives did! She knew who her parents were and what they were like! She wasn't the one pretending! But she was! She was! Because she didn't know them at all and James wasn't even her father! And her actual father was nothing like what she had imagined! No, not at all!

He hated her. She wanted to be sick. There it was. She'd believed that if her parents were alive they'd love her even if her relatives argued that they wouldn't have. They were right. Here he was, supposedly one of Harry's parents, actually alive and he hated her! Well, she didn't like him either! In fact, she wanted nothing to do with him! She threw the mirror on the bed and pulled her pillow over her head. Maybe... Maybe she could just pretend this hadn't happened? After years of practice she should be pretty good at pretending by now.

Severus had taken to pacing in the front yard – not caring that he had just about destroyed a corner of the dahlia bed in doing so.

Blasted old cat! Who does she think she is ordering me around! No, no! Dumbledore left her in charge. Still, that doesn't excuse it! Why is she leaving me here? Why not get Poppy or stay herself?

But he already knew the answer. It was not only the logical choice as they needed to involve as few people as possible and Poppy needed to get the potion and Minerva to get in contact with the Headmaster but her move was also cunning. In fact, Severus was worried Minerva had taken on some of Dumbledore's borderline Slytherin attributes!

It might have pleased him any other day but not when it was him who suffered from it. A small voice in the back of his mind insisted that Potter couldn't be very happy about it either but he pushed the thought aside. What was he going to do? His fingers were itching to go back in there and get Lily's letter. Partly because he wanted to assure himself it wasn't a magical forgery (though the likelihood of that was small) and partly because it was hers.

The memory of Lily and the last time he had seen her alive replayed in his mind. He'd claimed victimhood with Minerva but in reality he was disgusted with himself. Lily had been trying so hard to get him to see. She'd been willing to break her vow to James to save Severus' life and soul – and how had he repaid her? As soon as he realized what she was doing he should have stopped it. He hadn't because he wanted to believe it was real. He had then gone out and all but signed her over to the Dark Lord by telling him of the prophecy! Then he suddenly heard the front door open.

“Snape?” said Petunia.

“What? he sneered and turned to face her.

“I thought you had left already. I... What are you doing to my garden?!”

Severus glared at the woman and turned his back on her.

“Snape, either come inside or leave! I won't have you standing around in front of my house for all the neighbors to see!”

“I'm not leaving,” replied Snape and moved over and sat on a small marble bench in the corner.

“And I'm not having freaks camp in my garden. How long are you going to sit there?”

“Until I leave. And don't worry about your neighbors. They won't take much notice.”

Petunia huffed.

“Still in a mood, I see? Well, whatever! If you get hungry come and join us for dinner.”

When Snape ignored her, she continued: “Or you can sit there and sulk. Honestly!”

And with that she disappeared inside the house – leaving Severus to his thoughts.

Harry was lying on the bed looking at the pair of glasses in her hand. Well, at least Dudley couldn't break them anymore. She was beginning to wonder what the Dursleys were going to think of the whole thing. She couldn't change back by herself so they'd have to live with her appearance. Still, it was a wonder that uncle Vernon hadn't screamed her head of yet. If she just pretended everything was normal would they play along with her? She thought Petunia might. But Vernon and Dudley? Not if they had new information to torment her with!

She crawled off the bed and crept over to the door. She placed her ear against the wood and listened. She could hear voices downstairs. They were muffled but aggressive. It sounded like two people arguing but trying to keep the volume down. It was as she expected. They definitely weren't happy about having their afternoon interrupted by nosy Hogwarts professors. It was only a matter of time now. Harry looked around her room. Where would be the best place to be discovered? Should she be curled up in the corner? Should she be standing? Should she look sad or angry they had been here or happy that they were gone? It wasn't always easy to figure it out.

She opted for simply sitting on her bed – looking as miserable as she felt. Sure enough, it wasn't long until she heard someone stomping up the stairs and fumble with the locks. Then the door flew open and a red faced Vernon stormed in.

“What did you...” he yelled but trailed off as he saw the person sitting in front of him.

His eyes widened as Harry looked up at him. Then she realized he hadn't seen her change in appearance until now. She held her breath and waited for Vernon to get over the initial shock of it.

“What did you do to yourself?” he mumbled.

“Sir, I didn't do anything! They did it!”

“Shut up!” he muttered.

She was expecting him to yell and was surprised when he didn't.

“Don't show your ugly face to me – either of them.”

Then he simply turned and left – forgetting to lock the door behind him. Harry sat there stunned. She certainly hadn't expected that. But perhaps Vernon was too shocked to deal with it. She'd be ready in case he got over it. The door was open but Harry didn't dare to leave the room. Instead she stayed where she was and waited for Petunia to call her.

About half an hour later a face appeared in the doorway. Harry didn't bother to look up.

“Hey, Harry?”

Harry was lying on her stomach facing away from the door but she recognized the voice easily.

“What do you want, Dudley?”

“I just wanted to see...”

“What?” said Harry angrily as she turned around on the bed to face him. “You just wanted to come see the freak show?”

Dudley stood still in the doorway with wide eyes but Harry quickly realized he hadn't paid attention to her words. He was taking in her appearance.

“T...They did that to you?” said Dudley.

“Yeah, well, they say it's what I really look like.”

“They used their sticks on you?”

“Wands and yes,” mumbled Harry.

There was something different in Dudley's voice. It was almost... sympathy? And then Harry realized why that might be. Of course Dudley was remembering the pig tail he'd been given last summer. Dudley's borderline civility didn't last long though.

“It's a shame the doctor's can't cut your face off. You'll be stuck with it!”

At that Harry turned around and ignored her cousin. The boy was about to walk over and shove her a bit to provoke a proper reaction but just then he heard his name called from downstairs and left.

A few hours had passed and Snape was running out of ideas. He had been alternating between sitting on the small marble bench glaring at any passersby and pacing the daisy bed into a mess. The lilies he did not go near, however, he'd soon run out of daisies to destroy and then the pansies were in for it. It was the best he could do without punching walls and shooting hexes.

Control, Severus, control. Calm down. Think. Check your defenses. Do not let this control you. Control the situation.

He stopped his pacing and stood for a moment with his eyes closed. He became aware of the warm evening air and the many scents around him. A sound reached his ears. The sound of conversation. He opened his eyes and looked through the windows of number four. In there was the dining room and he could see Vernon Dursley and his son already seated at the table. The man's face was still red but the son seemed to have recovered well. Petunia was nowhere to be seen – probably in the kitchen. Just then a door opened and Potter entered the room. She walked over to the cabinet and removed a small stack of plates and began setting the table. The child didn't join the conversation of the others and as soon as she was finished she disappeared through the door.

Severus wasn't quite sure what is was but there was something in the manner of the girl that both upset and unnerved him. She seemed calm and worked almost robotically. Snape remembered that only a few hours earlier she had been a crying mess. This girl seemed completely unaffected. Severus felt a stab of something in his chest but ignored it to focus on his annoyance that the brat could so simply brush off what he even now had trouble managing. Even stranger, the girl wasn't wearing her glasses so how could she see what she was doing?

Perhaps joining them for dinner wouldn't be such a bad idea after all? He was definitely curious as to what was going on with Potter and he would go mad if he stayed an hour more in that flowerinfested abomination the Dursleys called a front yard. Having made up his mind he ventured up to the front door and knocked. After a while the door opened and there was Petunia.

“Ah! Have you decided to... What have you done to my daisies?! Good God! They will have to be replanted! Get in before your ruin anything else!”

She moved aside to allow Snape to enter.

“I think it's rather an improvement!” growled Snape as he passed her and found himself in the hall once again. Petunia took one last glance at the destruction and closed the door.

“I suppose I might use the opportunity to persuade Vernon to get Hydrangeas.”

Severus glared at the oblivious woman before following her into the dining room. As soon they entered Vernon rose. His mustache vibrated with anger as he lay eyes on Snape.

“Petunia are you out of your mind? If you think I'll sit down with one of them you're...”

“What would you have me do? It's either this or have him in front of the house for all the world to see!” said Petunia.

“Well, I'm not having it! You get off my property now!” roared Vernon and moved towards Snape.

The wizard swiftly flicked his wrist and his wand fell out of his sleeve and into his hand. He raised the wand and pointed it right between Vernon's eyes.

“Sit down, Dursley! I don't like this anymore than you do! As it is I cannot leave this place until my colleague returns! I suggest you make this a bit more bearable for the both off us and be quiet!”

Vernon resigned and sat. Dudley had frozen completely and was starring at Snape's wand.

“Harry!” cried Petunia as she gestured for Snape to take the fourth chair at the table.

Soon the girl appeared in the doorway. Her eyes went wide and she almost dropped the bowl of potatoes in her hands when she saw who was sitting at the dining table.

“Snape?”

“Professor Snape!” he corrected, agitation rising as he was once again confronted with the child who looked... something not completely unlike him.

“Harry, we have a guest,” said Petunia and took her seat.

The girl quickly walked over to the cabinet and got a plate, a glass and cutlery for the new addition. She carefully moved over to Snape's side and placed the objects on the table in front of him. It was then Snape raised an eyebrow. The table was still one plate short. He looked up at the girl who had otherwise kept her eyes on the plate and momentarily locked eyes with her as she raised her eyes as she walked away. The girl looked almost afraid. Had she noticed the mistake and was worried he'd tell her off for it? Potter quickly shuffled out of the room and returned shortly with a plate of steaks and a bowl of salad. Severus paused and wondered how on earth the girl could balance it all – it looked much to heavy for someone her size. He waited for the cousin to rise and assist her but it didn't happen. In fact none of the Dursleys even looked at her.

Petunia seemed to be lost in thought, the boy was eyeing the steaks and the uncle was gritting his teeth and glaring at Snape. Potter managed to place both objects on the table and then left the room again only to return with greens and a pitcher of orange juice. She was walking very slowly because she was also holding a bottle of wine under her arm. Once she arrived at the table she carefully got the pitcher onto the table first and then safely placed the other two objects there as well. The cousin and the uncle had already helped themselves to two steaks each and Petunia was picking at some salad. Severus was sitting there in silence trying to make sense of what he was seeing. Locking the child in her room he might have been able to overlook if it proved to be as he suspected a one time mistake by a frustrated uncle and aunt who had finally snapped at the little monster they themselves had indulged. Something was not quite right.

Severus scowled at the Dursley males who were eating like they hadn't had a decent meal in ages yet that certainly wasn't the case. It was commonplace for children to help out setting tables and such but Severus couldn't quite understand why the cousin wasn't helping. Was this some kind of punishment for the cake incident? He was brought back from his thoughts by a voice at his side.

“What?” he snapped.

“Oh... I'm sorry, sir! I was just.. Would you like some wine, sir?”

Something was definitely going on! Snape had never known Potter to be this polite. And the manner in which she said it! She appeared almost subdued.

“No, thank you,” Severus mumbled as he studied the girls face.

What was that? There was certainly some nervousness in her face but it soon relaxed into that strange unaffected stare. The girl nodded and turned to leave the room.

“Potter!” he called meaning to question her about the lack of glasses.

The girl stopped immediately but did not turn. Just then Petunia seemed to return from whatever place her mind had wandered off to and she looked from Snape to the girl and back again.

“Harry! Come and sit down now!”

The girl turned and looked at her aunt.

“But...”

“No, buts! You will sit with the rest of us and eat! I don't care if you don't want to or if you feel you have something better to do! It's the polite thing to do!”

“Eh,” said the girl as she made her way back to the cabinet and got out a plate for herself. Severus looked around and realized that there was no fifth chair but Petunia had gotten up from her seat and went into the kitchen to return with a stool. The matter of the glasses was now quite forgotten as Severus studied their behavior. The girl sat down between Petunia and the cousin. After a while they were all eating – more or less. Vernon Dursleys and his son were devouring half the table, Petunia was eating her dinner in a daze, Snape was calmly eating Petunia's slightly overcooked creations and Potter was starring at the plate and poking the greens with her fork. Snape kept watching the child for the duration. The girl didn't like beans? If she considered herself above eating the food why was she not throwing a fit and demanding something else? Was it because he was there? A small voice in the back of his mind said it might be something else but he wasn't listening.

Why is he still here?

When Harry had eventually been called downstairs she almost thought she could handle it. All she had to do was pretend nothing had happened! Well, the not needing glasses part was a welcomed feature but other that she would do her best to act normally. To her surprise Vernon was merely steaming and Dudley seemed content to be rid of the professors - and their wands. Her aunt and uncle had argued earlier, that much was clear to her and for now it would be best if she didn't provoke Vernon in any way. Her aunt had finished preparing dinner and asked Harry to set the table which she had done just as she usually did but then...

Then he had arrived! What was he doing back here? And where was McGonagall? Harry didn't think it could be much worse. She would honestly have preferred Voldemort to Snape as a dinnerguest right now! She could do this! She had to do this! Even with the great bat around she had to do her best and pretend. Fortunately he didn't say much other than correcting her when she entered a declining wine. He seemed distant too. Where had he been and why was he here now? Harry couldn't wait to get out of the room so it was with relief she left to go to the kitchen. She never ate with the Dursleys. She had always waited in the kitchen for them to finish. Then she would clear the table and eat whatever might be left. This was mostly salad or greens.

But when Snape called her, her aunt had suddenly decided that she should join them. Harry wasn't quite sure why but her aunt was distant. Harry knew what that meant. She only ever grew this quiet when she was nervous or worried. Now she was sitting here with no appetite at all. Not only was the situation too strange for words but Snape's presence was enough in itself to put her off her food. Why did he keep looking at her?

“Potter,” a familiar low voice said from across the table.

Petunia immediately stopped eating and watched them. Harry kept her eyes on her plate. She hadn't reacted yet. Maybe if she did nothing he would decide not to speak to her again?

“Potter, look at me when I'm speaking to you,” Snape said with his usual annoyance.

Harry slowly raised her eyes and looked at the man. His face was the usual emotionless mask. It was so terribly strange to see that face in these surroundings however.

“Where's McGonagall?” she blurted out before she could stop herself.

“Professor McGonagall is at Hogwarts, I presume,” said Snape as he rolled his eyes.

“Oh...” Harry said. “Then why are you here... Sir?”

“Because, Potter, someone has to keep an eye on you until she returns. Now stop these questions and answer me: Why did you drop a cake on your uncle's guests?”

Of course! Of course Snape would care only about that! What, was he here to prevent her from doing it again? Not to mention that it wasn't even her?

“Because she's an ungrateful, disrespectful little...” growled Vernon.

“I am well aware of her disrespectful attitude and her love of rulebreaking, I assure you, however I would like to know why she did it, when she knew full well she was breaking the law and the ministry would know!” Snape sneered at her uncle.

Harry could feel the anger rising inside her. Snape and the Dursleys between them had just about ruined her life and seen to it that she had no true safe haven and to have both parties here to torment her was just the worst thing imaginable! She wasn't afraid of McGonagall finding out about the Dursleys hating her but Snape... Snape would only use it against her. The man was still looking at her and his eyes were slowly narrowing as he grew more and more impatient with her. Well, if he wanted an answer he would get one.

“I told you already. I DIDN'T DO IT!” Harry sneered.

She was halfway expecting Vernon to get up and throw her in the cupboard or for Petunia to sneer insults at her for being an ungrateful liar. Neither of them had the chance to react however, because the words had not been off her lips for long before she heard a loud bang as Snape slammed his palm onto the table.

“You do not speak to me in that manner, Potter! If this is how you behave at home I'm hardly surprised your relatives are at their wits end. It's quite clear you have never been taught respect for your elders!”

Harry just starred at Snape with her mouth open. This was the Snape she knew. One she could deal with but it was still very unsettling to know her relatives were witnessing this. She'd been so concerned with Snape using her relatives against but what of the other way around?

“It's hardly our fault she's this way - seeing as she's your brat!” growled Vernon, who had not failed to notice the hidden insult to his child-rearing abilities.

If anything Snape just looked far more furious and stood up. Harry decided she had probably eaten enough by now and that now would be a good time to seek refuge in her room and she stood as well. However instead of beginning an argument with Vernon, Snape exhaled and continued as if the comment had not been made.

“Where is your wand?”

“What?” Harry replied.

“Your wand. That stick you attempt to do spells with, Potter!” Snape smirked.

“Eh... It's in my... I mean it's in the cupboard.”

“Get it,” Snape demanded.

“What? Why?”

Harry trembled. Was he going to take her wand away? Was he going to break it?

“Get your wand, Potter! If you claim you did not use a levitation spell, we shall either prove or disprove it. Now, get your wand!”

“Oh,” Harry replied. She sighed with relief but then another thought entered her mind.

“I can't, professor!”

Snape glared at her.

“And why is that? Something to hide?”

“No, sir! It's just.. It's in the cupboard,” she replied and pointed to the stairs.

Snape looked in the direction she had indicated and spotted the stairs through the door. He stepped over to the door and Harry followed. On the door to the cupboard was a large padlock. Harry watched Snape's face and saw him raise an eyebrow. She half expected him to make some comment about her wand being locked away but instead he raised his wand and unlocked it before returning to the dining room where two Dursleys were watching them in silence. Dudley was still eating. Harry carefully opened the door. On her old bed lay her school trunk. Uncle Vernon had locked it in there on the day she returned. She quickly opened it, got out her wand and closed the door. She then walked back into the dining room with it. Snape stood there like a pillar of black marble and the Dursleys were watching her like hawks. Snape reached out his hand, palm up and Harry shuffled over and handed over her wand.

“Petunia, I can understand why you might lock away Potter's wand after what happened yesterday but she will be needing the books as she is expected to do homework – of course I am well aware it will be done at the last minute if at all but none the less.”

“Oh,” said Petunia with no emotion. Harry knew perfectly well that she didn't care at all whether Harry could do her homework – in fact they were more likely to prevent her from doing it. Of course she didn't correct Snape either when he falsely assumed the trunk had only been locked away for a day. Snape pulled out his own wand and pointed it at Harry's.

“Prior Incantato!” Snape said firmly.

The introduction of wands into the conversation had finally stopped Dudley eating and the boy was now trembling in his seat while Petunia looked mesmerized and Vernon looked disgusted. Snape suddenly looked up and gave Harry a curious look.

“It seems.. No levitation spell has been recently made by this wand.”

“She did it with her hands! We all saw it!”

“I WAS TRYING TO CATCH IT BEFORE THE HOUSE ELF COULD...” yelled Harry, quite fed up with the accusation.

“SILENCE!” thundered Snape to the effect that Harry instantly froze and Dudley fell off his chair.

“I've never known an eleven year old who could do intentional wandless magic. Since you insist on not telling the truth we will leave it there.”

“But I didn't..”

“Enough!” Snape snapped and handed Harry's wand over. “I suggest you put that back where it was.”

Harry glared at him and returned the wand to the cupboard. Now it was her turn to ask questions!