A World Of Grey Clouds by Livia Ethelind

The sound of rapping called Harry back from the realm of sleep. She groaned and turned on her side as she pulled her pillow over her head. She was so warm and snug and here was that awful noise disturbing her. She kept her eyes closed and tried her best to get back to sleep. The rapping ceased and she smiled slightly in her half-woken state.

“Are you deaf?” A deep voice suddenly snapped above her and her eyes opened instantly as her body froze. “Breakfast is in twenty minutes. Get up and get ready,” Snape continued as he turned upon his heel and left the room.

He was already dressed in his usual robes. Harry wondered what time it was. She felt like she could sleep at least a few decades longer. It had been quite a while since she had slept quite so well. She sat up in the bed. Speaking of which, she hadn't had any nightmares. Harry could rarely remember them clearly but the awful feeling always lingered and cast a shadow over her mornings. Today, however, she felt relaxed. She blinked. All she wanted was to lie back down and sleep but she didn't think Snape would approve. She sat on the edge of the bed and rubbed her eyes. Why was she sleeping in her dress? Had she fallen asleep on the bed last night? But she had taken the time to remove her shoes and get under the covers.

She got up and stretched before moving to the wardrobe where she removed the clothes McGonagall had given her. She wanted to take a shower but she didn't know whether she was expected to just do that or to ask Snape for permission. Opting for better-safe-than-sorry she grabbed her pile of clothes and padded into the living room.

“Snape?” she called when she found no one there. “Professor?”

“Yes?” came the agitated reply as Snape emerged from one of the forbidden doors which was either the lab or the storage.

“Can I take a shower?” Harry inquired, clutching the ball of clothes.

“May you. And do you really need to ask? I would expect you to of course. Be quick about it.”

Harry huffed in reply and quickly escaped into the hallway before Snape could comment upon it. It was incredibly weird spending this much time in Snape's bathroom. The rest of his quarters were manageable but she felt much closer to him than she liked this way. Once she had showered and dressed she stood in front of the mirror as she dried her hair. She looked into the mirror and smirked. Her hair was already falling back in place but for a moment it had been nearly as messy as it used to be. She grimaced. It was still odd seeing that face in the mirror. She liked it well enough but she had to get used to recognizing that as herself. The mirror was clearly not of the talking kind. Why would Snape have one of those anyway? He doesn't need a mirror to tell him he looks like a bat. Did she look like a bat too then? Harry shuddered at the thought.

The shirt and jeans McGonagall had given her were slightly too big but not uncomfortably so and in no way like Dudley's clothes had been. Harry put the towel down and it instantly disappeared. What now? Oh, I forgot to ask if I can eat in my room. She hesitantly walked back into the hallway. Last night she had asked to eat alone not only because she wanted to be alone but because she didn't want to be sitting in silence looking at Snape for the duration of the meal. She entered the hallway when she heard sounds coming from the kitchen. She entered the kitchen which she had already seen glimpses of. It was very modern and simplistic and looked incredibly clean. When Harry looked at it she got the feeling that it had rarely if ever been used. She had scrubbed Petunia's kitchen enough to know exactly how clean it was possible to get one. The kitchen was connected to both the hallway and the living room but the door to the living room was currently closed. At the other end of the room was a round table with four chairs. Only two were placed by it as the other two chairs were stacked in the corner. The table was already set and the smell of the food upon it reminded Harry just how hungry she was. However, Snape was seated at the table, studying her.

“Sit,” he simply ordered, nodded and turned his attention towards a mug by his plate.

Harry eyed him warily. “Uhm, professor, I was wondering if I could...” she began.

“You will sit down and eat your breakfast this very moment,” Snape cut her off. “We will be leaving shortly and I wish to be back by noon.”

So much for asking politely. She was tempted to say that she wasn't hungry and then return to her room but she couldn't deny that she was hungry. She had skipped meals before – many in fact and though she survived it and was able to carry on with her work she certainly didn't enjoy it. Besides she was really looking forward to getting out of the castle and she wouldn't put it past Snape to leave her behind or not go at all if he was – well, more than usually cross. She sat down a the table and glanced at the selection. There were different types of bread, cheeses, fruits and some jam. Harry looked up to see whether Snape was still watching her. Even though she now was able to take food for herself, she still couldn't if she felt someone was staring at her. Snape was not looking at her. Instead he was slicing an apple with the precision of a surgeon. Harry grabbed some bread and the jam and soon began to eat. Sitting there in silence across from him proved to be every bit as uncomfortable as she had imagined it last night. As soon as she finished her plate, Snape pushed a vial towards her.

“You will be taking one of these with every meal.”

Harry took the vial. She recognized it as the same supplement Pomfrey had given her the day before. She sent him a distrusting look, uncorked it and quickly swallowed the contents. It was indeed the same thing but since this was Snape she would have expected it to taste absolutely foul. Perhaps he might even have turned it foul just for the fun of watching her drink it but it was just like the one she had gotten in the infirmary.

“Every day?” she grimaced.

Snape raised an eyebrow. “You are underweight and near dangerously so. You have serious vitamin deficiencies. Madam Pomfrey and I agree that you must take this until you are healthy enough to continue without. We expect you to gain several pounds.”

“I'm fine,” replied Harry. Really, she felt completely normal and she had always been skinny. Besides she didn't like Pomfrey fussing over her nor did she like being dictated to by Snape.

“You are most definitely not fine. This malnutrition has already impacted your health tremendously – you are much too short for your age,” Snape sighed.

“I've always been short,” she pointed out.

“I'm sure you have. You will likely begin to grow once your health has been restored and you are eating regularly.”

“I'm shorter now that you removed the spell,” Harry continued.

“How often did you usually eat?” Snape asked.

“What do you mean? I was there at meals unless I had to train with the rest of the Quidditch team or if Hermione...” she replied.

“I do not mean while at Hogwarts. When you lived with your relatives? How often did you eat?” Snape interrupted her.

Harry could feel the contents of her stomach turn to ice. Without another word she pushed her plate away from her, got up and made to leave the room.

“Po... Come back here at once!” she heard Snape call behind her but she didn't care. Then she felt him grab her wrist and turn her around. “If you do not wish to discuss it with me, you are at liberty to say so, however, you will do so politely. You do not walk out on me in such a manner. It is incredibly rude and disrespectful,” the professor scolded her.

Harry didn't know what to do. She could feel tears filling her eyes, but it wasn't only because she was reminded of the Dursleys. What she was sure of, however, was that she didn't want to let Snape see her cry and so she kept her head down as she spoke:

“I'm sorry, sir. May I be excused?”

If Snape could hear the distress in her voice he didn't comment upon it. He let go of her wrist and seemed to study her for a moment.

“I suppose you may. We will leave in 30 minutes. Be ready by then.”

Harry didn't wait for further comment. She nodded and left for the safety of her room.

What was he supposed to do? A part of him wanted to send her to her room and leave her there while he got the things she needed by himself. Another part of him protested that this was just as much his fault. He knew what might go on in the mind of a child who had lived in such conditions. He knew. He shouldn't have simply asked her that question over breakfast! What was he thinking? The girl's reaction was very understandable but even so it wasn't acceptable. It would seem he would have to teach this girl every common courtesy. He decided that scolding her had been enough for now. He didn't want her any more upset if they were going out. She was quite capable of making a scene without the added incentive. It was becoming increasingly difficult to address her without using a first name which either she or he disliked or a surname which he absolutely despised. This morning he had received a letter from the Headmaster as promised and it contained the form for name change. Severus had decided it would be better to show the girl this in the evening. Otherwise she might spend the entire day thinking about it.

Harry was trying her best to keep up with Snape without falling. It had clearly rained during the night because the paths were slightly muddy and the grass was wet. She was wearing a black cloak which Snape had handed her. She had been instructed to stay close and keep the hood down until they were off the grounds. If I had my invisibility cloak I could have been out in a minute. Harry had become quite annoyed when Snape repeatedly either pushed her behind him, closed doors on her or hissed at her to wait for him whenever he heard someone approaching in the hallways. They had moved very slowly indeed. They were now nearly off the grounds and Harry was getting excited. Snape closed the gate to the Hogwarts grounds behind them.

“Umm... Professor? I was wondering. Would anyone recognize me? Is that why we won't go to Diagon Alley or Hogsmeade?”

“It is possible that some might,” Snape answered in a bored voice. “That is not the main reason. Had you gone with professor McGonagall you might have gone to Hogsmeade where you have not been seen before. Even if you are not recognized the sight of me shopping with an unidentified child would be nearly as great a spectacle in Hogsmeade as Harry Potter would be.”

Harry smirked. She could imagine that.

“In other words, we are going to a place where I am not well known,” Snape concluded.

Harry skipped after him. Maybe it was the sun. Maybe it was the fresh air. Maybe it was not being confined to a place – whether it be 4 Privet Drive, McGonagall's or Snape's quarters. Either way she felt like she could breathe for the first time in days. It didn't matter that Snape was there like a big storm cloud in horizon. She actually got to do something other than sit around and wait for her fate to be dictated to her. The flat shoes Petunia had bought were already muddy even though Harry had been extra careful.

“Take my arm,” said Snape as he stopped and looked stiffly ahead.

Oh, no! Not this again! She carefully took the man's arm but once again she didn't have time to brace herself before she landed on a cobblestone street. A moment later she felt someone pull her to her feet. Her head was spinning and after eating she knew that the risk of being sick was high. She covered her mouth with her hand and supported herself against something which she initially thought was a wall until she realized the wall was wearing black robes at which point she jerked away and nearly lost her breakfast in doing so.

“Are you ready to continue?” Snape said stiffly.

“Yeah, I just... I'm sorry, sir,” she mumbled in reply as the world came into focus once more.

Snape nodded. “Stay near me. I mean it, you do not wander off. I trust I do not need to remind you to behave?”

Harry stared. The houses were old. She didn't know how old they were but she would guess they were 17th or 18th century. Perhaps they differed in age? Many houses were very crooked while other stood completely strait. They were standing a little ways into an alley and thus were slightly hidden. It lead to a narrow street which reminded her of Diagon Alley although it was nowhere near as packed with people. Snape had already begun making his way out onto the street and Harry picked up her pace to catch up with him.

“Sir? Where exactly are we?” she inquired when she reached him.

“Kitty's Creek,” Snape replied as if Harry should know everything about it.

“But where is that?” Harry pressed.

Snape sighed. “Tell me, do you or do you not have a book in your trunk entitled A History of Wizarding Communities in Britain?”

Harry swallowed. That was one of the books which had been required for the history of magic classes.

“Yes, sir,” she replied. “But we never had anything about any Kitty! Professor Binns only talks about goblin wars!”

“Even so you were required to read that book and if you had you would most likely not be asking me stupid questions now since every known wizarding village in Britain is listed there.”

“Even if I did how am I supposed to remember anyway if every village is listed?” protested Harry.

“Ah, so you didn't in fact read the book? I'm hardly surprised considering your lack of dedication in my own class.”

“Nobody ever learns anything in history classes anyway,” she frowned.

“They would if they applied themselves. Now, if it will stop this nonsense, Kitty's Creek is in Somerset. Here, we may as well start there,” said Snape and lead Harry into a clothing store.

There weren't many customers in the store only two teens and a man who were walking around by themselves. The store was full of racks with garments in every color. A witch with yellow hair and a a bright purple robe left the counter and came towards them.

“Welcome to Todd's. How can I help you today?” she smiled widely.

“The girl is in need of clothing,” Snape replied as though the sight of the woman was offensive to him. Still, her smile did not falter. She simply turned her attention to Harry.

“Of course! What do you need, sweety?”

“She will need an entire wardrobe,” Snape replied on Harry's behalf.

“Right this way, sweety!” the witch smiled as she took Harry by the hand and lead her deeper into the jungle of clothes. “How old are you? Seven?”

Harry, who was trying the free her hand discreetly, heard Snape mutter something behind them and simply replied: “Erh, no I'm 11.” Did she really look that small?

“Oh, of course! What would you like? What is your favorite color? What is your name, dear?”

“Erh, I don't know, ma'am. Perhaps some shirts or something,” Harry answered.

“Veronica, dear! Do you like pink? You must really try this then!” the woman smiled and held up a pale pink blouse.

“She most certainly will not,” Snape suddenly sneered behind them. “You will find something decent or we will take our business elsewhere!”

“Certainly, sir!” chuckled the woman, although Harry now detected a bit of agitation in her voice.

They started with jeans. Harry found at least two black pairs and one dark blue she liked. The had expected to choose between them but Snape merely nodded at the woman who put them aside as soon as Harry had tried it. Next they moved on to shirts.

“I don't know what to choose,” she said when faced with the task of deciding.

“I suggest you get on with it otherwise I will have to choose for you,” Snape smirked behind them. Harry's eyes grew wide and she instantly returned to her search even though she was pretty sure he was joking. Of course she didn't want to risk it regardless. She had found two T-shirts and a few regular white shirts when the woman spoke.

“Do you like this?” she inquired and held up a plaid skirt.

“Umm, I don't really wear that stuff,” Harry replied.

“Oh, you never wear dresses either? Then I shan't bother you with it unless you want to try anything.”

Harry thought for a moment. She had two dresses back in her wardrobe that she intended to burn at the first opportunity. Still she hadn't exactly disliked the feeling as much as she disliked Petunia's taste. Perhaps it wouldn't be that bad to just try while she had the chance? At the very least Snape might be annoyed that she was wasting time which was a treat in itself.

“I'd like to try. Just try.”

Veronica smiled widely and Harry glanced up at Snape who looked surprised. The woman lead her back to the dressing room and said she would find something fun for her to try. The first dress she returned with Harry refused to try on. It looked way to much like the second of Petunia's dresses. The second dress she brought was interesting. It was bright red and swishy and more than a little adult. She stood in front of the mirror, moving her hips to make the dress move when she heard a voice behind her.

“That is absolutely ridiculous! When would you wear such a thing?” sneered Snape and Harry nearly jumped through the roof.

“You don't like the color?” she smirked even though she herself thought it was a bit much.

Snape simply huffed and left. Harry closed the curtain and changed back to her shirt and jeans. A few moments later Veronica returned for the dress carrying two other ones. Harry smiled and argued that she didn't need to try any more on but Veronica urged her to try those before she closed the curtain behind them. Both dresses were pinafore dresses in smooth but not overly fancy fabric. One was black and the other was dark grey. Veronica pulled the black one over Harry's head and placed it over her clothes like that.

“It's not normal to wear jeans with it but what do you think?”

“Erhm...”

Harry didn't dislike it. Actually she rather liked the look of this. She twirled in the dress and smirked. This didn't at all look like the things Petunia had brought home nor was it lavish like the red one. She could run in this, jump in this. It would be something fun to have.

“Do you like it?” the woman smiled widely.

“Yes, ma'am! Very much so!” nodded Harry. She might actually get these.

“Excellent! Your father will be very happy to hear that!”

“What?!” gasped Harry and stared at the woman's reflection. Did she really look that much like Snape or was the woman just assuming?

“Yes, he picked them out for you, sweety! Let me take these and I'll take them out to the other things,” said Veronica and pulled the dress over Harry's head before disappearing with both of them. Harry stood stunned for a moment. She didn't know whether the feel happy that Snape approved of them or upset that he did and he picked them for her. How could they have the same taste in anything? Then she went back out to the counter. Snape was sitting on a chair in the corner looking equally displeased and bored.

“She will need stocking with these,” said the woman to Snape as she put the dresses on the counter.

Snape raised an eyebrow at Harry and smirked infuriatingly. Harry didn't have time to glare at him however for she turned to the woman.

“Oh, no! Please! I don't need stockings! I really hate those!” she pleaded. And it was true. She had only worn them twice at least that she could remember and the first time she had been forced into them and the second she had found them impossible to put on.

“I dare say I can find some knee high socks. That takes care of trousers, shirts, dresses and I'll find some regular socks as well. That leaves underwear and outerwear.”

“For Merlin's sake,” muttered Snape from the corner as he stared out of the window.

Will that woman ever be quiet?! Severus was reminded of why exactly all his clothes had been tailored by the same old man in Knockturn Alley who did little more than sneer and ask for payment. This was torture. He knew the girl needed practically everything and he wasn't about to deny her that but did it really have to take this long? A part of him wanted to get up, tear a few decent things of racks and tell the girl that this was what she was getting and she had better be happy about it. But no he couldn't do that. Still, he kept a watchful eye on everything that ghastly woman put on the counter. More than once had he seen her hand thing to the girl that were by no means age appropriate. And what was with all these short shirts that left part of the stomach bare? Was this supposed to be fashionable now? Every time she had put something of the sort down he had gotten up, removed it and demanded that she change it to something more appropriate. Now that the girl returned from the dressing rooms she eyed the pile suspiciously. Severus wasn't certain whether she had spotted his additions and was displeased or whether she hadn't approved of all the woman's additions either.

The last 15 minutes they spend in the shop, Harry was just standing around near the counter while Snape sat in the chair looking miserable and the woman flew about the store searching for things. Harry had completely given up on searching for things herself and simply let the woman suggest something and then either agree or disagree. Why? Because firstly she had never had to buy clothes for herself before. Not like this. She had bought her school robes with Hagrid but they were all uniform and mandatory so there were no choices involved. That brought her to the second point – the overwhelming sensation of having a choice. She'd spend the last week wishing she'd be given a choice – any choice. She had been looking forward to finally having a say over something. But now that she stood here with hundreds of opportunities she found that she couldn't pick all by herself.

“As for coats and jackets I'm afraid you're a very small size. Most of what we have in those sizes are pink or purple,” said Veronica. “These are the most fashionable I could find.”

She held up four coat and showed them to Harry one by one. One was a black coat and rather long. The second was a short green summer jacket. The third was rather sporty and grey. But Harry only had eyes for the fourth. Of course she didn't realize it but Veronica was at that moment thoroughly amused as she had an excellent view of both Harry's delight and Snape's disgust. It was a summer jacket. Not very thick but warm enough for the summer nights and it was dark cherry red and white. It was rather sporty and clearly modeled after the jackets Quidditch teams sometimes wore over their shirts before games.

“That one!” Harry said excitedly.

“You have to be kidding me!” Snape sneered from the corner. “Just get on with it will you?” he continued when the woman paused to look at him. Then she smiled and began ringing it up.

Just then Harry remembered her worries from earlier. That pile of clothes had to be terribly expensive and there was absolutely no way what she had left of her pocket money from last year could even begin to cover that! Carefully she edged closer to Snape and out of the woman's range of hearing.

“Umm, sir? I don't... We didn't go to the bank first! I'm sorry I forgot but I need to to pay for this!”

“Do not worry about it,” Snape replied in a bored voice.

“But...”

“I said: Do not worry yourself. The Headmaster had a sum put aside to cover your relatives' expenses on your behalf. It has been taken care of.”

“Oh,” was all Harry could say to that. The thought hadn't occurred to her. Then Snape got up from the chair and paid for the pile with money from a bag which he had retrieved from some hidden place inside his robes. Harry didn't have much of an understanding of wizard money since she had only used it rarely but it sounded like it was quite a bit.

“I'll shrink it for you. Perhaps you want to wear this?” smiled the woman and held out the jacket for Harry, who eagerly put it on.

“We do not have all day,” hissed Snape who was clearly reaching his limit.

“Of course! My, you are a lucky young lady to be getting all new clothes! Might I say by the way, I love your hair! Short is so very modern! Now, look at you! I say, sir, your daughter looks very pretty!”

Harry's heart stopped momentarily as she held her breath. It was one thing for the woman to make that assumption around Harry alone but around both of them was a different matter entirely. She honestly didn't know how to feel about the whole blood relation situation. One one hand she wanted it to not be true or at the very least that they could pretend it wasn't and everything would be normal. On the other hand she felt horrible because she wasn't alone in that. She might be confused but she knew for a fact that Snape hated her and was absolutely disgusted by this. She couldn't bear it when it was brought up around them both not only because she didn't want to think about it but because the look on Snape's face whenever it had been discussed was a constant reminder of how horrible being in any way related to her was. It was the same look she had seen in her aunt and uncle's eyes. She waited. Snape could acknowledge it and play along but he was most likely going to tell the woman that they were absolutely not related and how could she think that. It was Harry's fault anyway for not correcting the woman earlier. Surprisingly he did neither of that. He simply put the last of the shrinked packages in his pocket and turned to Harry.

“We are leaving.”

Harry's chest felt empty. She walked behind Snape as they entered a bookstore. Snape turned to her, gave her the one word command of “stay” before he disappeared among the shelves. She didn't know what to feel. She both wanted to know what he was thinking and was afraid of knowing. One thing she was sure of: Either of her own answers had been better than his. What did that even mean? She wanted to know were she stood with him but she was afraid to bring it up herself. Did all of this mean anything to him? It would have been so easy for him to simply state that that woman was mistaken. Harry needed to hear that. It would be some form of closure. Then she would know she was not alone in pretending it wasn't true.

Consumed by these thoughts she stared out through the store window. The street was becoming busier as noon slowly approached. Just as Harry was deciding that Snape was a git, she saw something in the street. Is that? No, it can't be! No, it totally is! Out there two redheaded boys and a just as redheaded woman passed by. Could it really be the twins? It was the twins! And the woman had to be their mother! Harry suddenly remembered how much she missed Ron. Without giving her altered appearance a single thought Harry ran out the door and onto the street.

“George! Fred!” she called but the three were too far down the street by now to hear her. Harry glanced back at the store. Surely she could catch up with them and talk to them before Snape was done with whatever he was doing. True, the twins didn't know she was a girl but surely they could pass on a message to Ron. She turned and ran down the street, carefully zigzagging between the other people. She could still see the redheaded woman's head and saw them turn down another street. When Harry followed she found she had lost then. Where had they gone? Where they in one of the shops or had they gone down another street. She took at quick decision and ran down another street. At the end she found herself at a square where several streets met. Harry began searching the square but after five minutes she was sure of two things: She had lost the twins and she couldn't remember which direction she had come from. Harry spun around a few times, trying to take in her surroundings. She could feel her heart pounding and she was slowly starting to panic. She sat down on the edge on a fountain in the center of the square and stared at her feet. What am I going to do? Do I ask for directions? Where would I ask for directions to? What was the name of the book store? Damn, I can't remember! Think! Was it very far from the clothing store? If I got there could I find my way? Harry was thinking a hundred thoughts a second when suddenly the hem of a black robe appeared within her field of vision. Harry looked up and into a familiar pair of black eyes. Snape's arms were crossed and his lips were in such a tight line that Harry half expected steam to come out of his ears any minute.

“You... Are in a world of trouble, young lady,” he hissed and Harry was torn between relief and fearing for her life.

“I can explain!” exclaimed Harry and jumped to her feet.

“Indeed?” replied Snape shortly but he was clearly not interested in hearing the explanation because he grabbed her arm and in the next moment Harry was squeezed into spaghetti before she landed hard on the path near the Hogwarts gates. Harry stumbled to her feet and only barely managed to pull up the hood of her cloak before she was dragged back towards the castle. She opened her mouth to protest but quickly closed it due to a combination of queasiness and a lack of something clever to say. Harry had plenty of time to come up with several good answers but the moment the door to Snape's office finally shut behind them and Snape turned to face her everything she had planned to say was forgotten.