A World Of Grey Clouds by Livia Ethelind

Waking up was wonderful. Wonderful, because in those brief moments where Victoria's eyes blinked away slumber and cloudy dreamlands she was still half asleep and not aware of yesterday's troubles. But it was unpleasant when she turned her head to the side and saw the green and silver uniform which had appeared there on her chair. Barely had she sat up in bed before there was a firm knock on her door and Snape's voice shortly announcing that breakfast would be served in the great hall in little more than half an hour. Without giving much thought to how she had managed to wake up before her morning summoning, she slid off the bed, shivering slightly from leaving her warm covers behind.

Everything leading up to leaving for the great hall happened in silence. Snape was nowhere to be found once she left the bathroom and quite frankly Victoria was not in the mood for 'talking' to him either. Or perhaps she was and that was the problem. She felt dirty. Like the uniform on her was slimy. She did not even bother looking in the mirror because she knew she would not like what she saw. As she walked up from the dungeons, having taken care not to be seen leaving through Snape's office she kept her eyes on the stone floor all the way to avoid making eye contact with anyone she might pass along the way. As she neared the doors there were more and more people surrounding her and quite a lot of buzzing going on. She did not look up until she entered the great hall. People around her were shushing each other and Victoria blinked as the first thing that happened was a sharp light flashing as some small boy with a camera jumped up and took her photo.

”Harry Potter?” said the small boy with huge enthusiasm. ”I mean... Evans. I'm...” But Victoria had no intention of learning the small boy's name. Instead she glanced over at the table he had come from – the Gryffindor table. The meal had not begun yet. Ron was sitting there trying very much to look like he was not just looking at her and Dean and Seamus were eagerly having a hushed conversation, pausing only to stare at her. Neither of them looked pleased. Hermione was sitting next to Ron looking awfully cross. Victoria was torn between begging Ron to understand that she did not want this either or punching him for thinking that she was really a snake. She had not made up her mind as to which one she was going to do when she hastily marched over to the Gryffindor table. The new first years cowered as she came near as if she was coming to eat them.

"Ron!" she said firmly, landing her hands on the table through the opening created by Seamus and Dean scooting as far away from her as they could without turning into mash in the process. "I need to talk to you!"

"Well, I don't want to talk," muttered Ron who was still not looking at her. "Go back to your table!"

"You're not even giving me a chance to explain! You're such a git, Ron!"

"Still better than what you are," Ron retorted, his cheeks flushing red.

"Stop it! Stop it both of you!" Hermione hissed. It was clear she was not pleased with either of them. "You're making a scene!" But Victoria would not listen at this very moment. She had every right to be angry at Ron and demand an explanation for his betrayal of her. She did not choose this. She had not done anything to him.

"Do you think this is fun for me? Do you think I had a choice?" she snapped.

"No... It's about what you are," said Ron but his comments were slightly drowned out by Seamus loudly telling Victoria go away. She was furious. A temper flared that she did not know she had - or rather that she had never really acknowledged that she did have because she had never been able to act upon it except for a few instances like with the snake at the zoo. She was just about ready to crawl across the table to Ron and give him what for.

"Come over here and say that again!" she cried, too loudly. Her hands were clenched into fists and had she bothered to look around she would have seen that most students in the vicinity looked frightened.

"Evans," she heard a small voice say just behind her and Victoria felt a tug on her sleeve. She turned around to find the Leseley first year standing there with a worried look on her face.

"Oh, look! You've got minions!" laughed Seamus and Victoria glared in his direction for good measure. She wanted to finish the conversation but somehow she couldn't know that Acacia had broken the spell of her blind rage. Suddenly the eyes upon her felt like needles.

"I can't find a seat. They won't move for me," Acacia said indifferently, tugging once again on Victoria's sleeve. With a final glare that was really just meant for the general population of the Gryffindor table Victoria turned around and followed Acacia to the Slytherin table – not that she had much choice because the other girl did not release her sleeve until they arrived the section where the first years had settled down. There were clearly plenty of room to sit down.

”What was that about?” Victoria asked in annoyance as she realised Acacia was lying.

”Well done, Leseley,” said Farley, the prefect Victoria had met the previous night. ”And you! As long as you wear those colours you don't start a public fight! You could have lost us points! On the second night!”

”Gemma, I don't know why you bother,” said the other prefect who was strolling down to them. ”We all know she's going to cost us the housecup. What's the point?”

”She's still one of us,” mumbled Gemma Farley but it seemed more like a defence of herself than of Victoria. ”Besides, Patrick, I would have thought you be pleased – with her already making enemies with the lions and everything.”

”Could be for show,” the boy shrugged and turned to walk back to his seat. Meanwhile Victoria was sitting there very much considering letting her build up rage over Ron out on this Patrick fellow.

”Wait,” suddenly said as something occurred to her. She got up from the bench and took a few steps towards Gemma Farley. ”I have some questions! I was wondering... Can I talk to you... later?” Gemma's dark eyes shone with self importance which reminded Victoria of Percy although she suspected this prefect was no where near as nice as the Weasleys had been – if you could call him that. Clearly she felt that anyone coming to her with their questions could not be completely daft. Farley nodded and mumbled a low 'later' before returning to her own seat. Victoria sat back down next to Acacia who was eating some cereal as though she had not just overheard everything. ”Why do they think I'll cost them the housecup?” she asked the other girl.

”Because you'll lose points on purpose,” said Michael sharply from across the table.

”How did they get that idea?” she replied, her eyes narrowing as she looked towards Malfoy.

”Because I told them,” said Michael with an uninterested expression. ”Or a few people at least. I told them you both will but they only seemed to care about you, Evans.” Acacia's head snapped up, her eyes wide as saucers. Victoria blinked. ”Don't look at me like that,” Xiao demanded. ”You were both saying last night that you hate this house. I'm just giving them a heads up, that's all.”

”That's slander, slime ball!” cried Acacia, fear evident in her eyes.

”So sue me,” replied Michael but Victoria was not so sure Acacia wouldn't.

“I hadn't thought of it, Xiao, but thanks for giving me ideas,” muttered Victoria. They both knew that even speaking too loudly would have prefect Farley coming back down to them so instead of starting a proper argument the girls finished their breakfast sullenly while Michael Xiao poked his bun with a smug expression.

”Wait up! Farley!” The older Slytherin stopped in the hallway and looked at Victoria as she hurried up to her. Acacia Leseley was not far behind but honestly Victoria neither knew nor cared why the younger girl seemed to want to be near her.

”This couldn't wait until after classes?” Farley said firmly, her hands on her hips and her hair bouncing.

”Eh... no. That's just it. S... Professor Snape said there were additional rules in the common room and I was wondering if you could tell me what they are?”

Gemma Farley glared at a couple of Hufflepuffs who stuck around to listen in and so sent them on their way. ”I don't have time for this. Go read it yourself. If you can read.”

”But... Wait!” Victoria was very aware she could have easily asked Acacia but she did not actually care about breaking rules. She knew that at some point she might actually have to go in there. And if that day ever came she would need someone bigger there to see that Malfoy and the goons did not tear her to shreds. By the looks of it – the other prefect would not lift a finger to help her so Farley was her best bet. ”I just... I wanted to say it's not true... What Xiao said. We're not going to break the rules.”

”I don't care what you do in private! I care what you do in public! I care what you're seen doing as a Slytherin. Honestly Evans, do you think you've given us any reason to believe you won't start trouble?” Farley spun around and continued down the hallway. Victoria swallowed.

Severus was readying himself for the final class of the day – and by that, he meant finding the most ominous expression he could. Already today he had twice overheard students daring to discuss Victoria over their work – and in his class no less! It had to really be gripping the student body if it caused them to dare whisper during their brewing. Snape had given two detentions already for 'disrupting the class' and he was honestly about to loose it. At least Filch would be happy but that was really no consolation to anyone. The only comforting thought was the knowledge that he would not have Victoria's class until the following day. As the sixth year students began filing in, Severus wondered whether it would not just be easier to give the lot of them their P's on the first day so he would not have to look at them the rest of the year.

He was playing a very dangerous game. He knew that. Everything depended on the Headmaster. Severus owed him his life, his career – and even if it was hard to imagine his reputation could possibly be any worse, that as well. He could not risk the old man near her. The only reason he was tolerated now was because of her. Severus could see it now: The disgust in her eyes. The horror. And there would be nothing he could say once she knew that Severus had begged the Dark Lord only for Lily. The Headmaster knew. It was almost impossible to keep him in the dark. It frightened Severus to think that the only man who knew every horrible thing he had done also had every reason to turn Victoria against him. Well, it was not like they were friends in the first place. He honestly felt like he was trying to simultaneously bathe a cat and fight off wolves with a spoon.

“Professor? I was wondering if you have a moment?” said a sixth year Slytherin. Class had ended and Severus wanted nothing more than to get back to his chambers.

“Which part of 'Get out' did you not understand, Travis?” he sneered in reply as he placed vials in a box. Jason Travis elected not to act smart which any Slytherin knew to be suicide. Instead the boy came closer, followed by Gemma Farley and Julia Stanton.

“Well, sir... We were just wondering about... the new girl,” Travis continued.

“Mr Travis, my office hours are posted on my office door and the board in your common room. If you are having trouble reading go to Madam Pomfrey at once.” Severus continued to ignore them. It would not do to seem like he knew anything about Victoria and her placement.

“Yes sir, but it's just that..” Farley interjected.

“We're worried about the house cup,” said Stanton. “What if she loses points on purpose?”

“Then that shall be my concern, not yours,” Severus snapped. “I would advise you to leave my classroom at once or you'll be the ones losing points.” Neither student really looked like they believed that Severus would take points from his own house - on the first day no less, but even so they understood a threat when they heard one and made for the door. It worried him. He, himself, would never have cared or at least openly cared what that sort thought but he knew Victoria did. As he was walking back towards his chambers to unload his work on his desk, he met with someone he had not expected to see.

“Severus? Do you have a moment?” said McGonagall.

“Minerva,” Severus nodded stiffly as he unlocked the door to his office.

“So what's your take on it?” said McGonagall and closed the door behind them. “I had her in my class today.”

“Behaving like an angel no doubt,” he replied with a great deal of contempt which even if it seemed that way was not meant for Victoria but for his students who most certainly had not behaved according to him.

“She didn't say a word so I suppose so. Severus, they were talking. They did not even bother to lower their voices around her,” McGonagall explained with a stern tone which was undoubtedly meant to warn Severus that his own tone was not appreciated. “But there's something else... It's about Sybill.”

The Head of Slytherin placed his workload on the desk with little to no interest in what the older professor was saying. “Let me guess... She predicted Miss Evans' imminent death,” he replied shortly.

“No, one of my fourth years apparently tossed a crystal ball through the window – that is not the point. I called on her to see that she was not drowning in her own tears and she told me something worrisome. Apparently Albus ordered her on vacation.” There was a certain urgency in McGonagall's eyes which Severus did not quite understand. Yes, it was very rare that Trelawney left the school altogether but as far as he was concerned she should have been ordered on permanent holiday a long time ago. He was glad that she was rarely seen. The mere sight of her was an awful reminder. Sometimes it was easier to blame her for making the prophecy than himself for passing it on. Clearly disappointed by his lack of response, the lioness continued: “She stopped herself mid-sentence in the end. Severus, it was supposed to be some kind of secret. Albus, did not simply order her on vacation. He ordered her to go somewhere and do something specific. I don't know what, but it cannot be a coincidence that one of the very first things he does after hearing about Harry is to send off Sybill!”

Well, that Severus could see the urgency in. It had to be something to do with the prophecy Trelawney had once made about Victoria and the Dark Lord. But why? The prophecy was made already and Trelawney had no idea which way was up when she was not in the middle of making an actual prophecy. Could you change a prophecy? Severus had no idea. “We'll have to wait and see,” was his reply.

She had had to walk back from herbology alone. At least Hermione had partnered up with her so she did not feel as shunned in class but professor Sprout had asked Hermione to stay afterwards – no doubt to praise her, and Victoria had been waved on her way. She did not go straight back to her room. The emptiness inside her was weighed her down. She could still hear their whispering and the unashamed comments. It seemed she was destined to be a freak anywhere she went. There was some time still until dinner would be served in the great hall and Victoria did not know what to do with herself. Normally she would have gone to her common room but that was back when a common room was a place of refuge to her. She was wandering the lesser trafficked hallways near a painting of Baldwin Bigwig – the wizard famous for identifying the 34 ways to accidentally explode a healing potion. Not even first years wandered here often as Bigwig was keen on given students potions advice and so most prefects warned their first years of him. Today he was snoring inside his cauldron – the tip of his long scorched beard hanging over the edge and so Victoria could think undisturbed. At least she thought so.

Snickering and footsteps could suddenly be heard behind and coming closer. Victoria's looked around desperately trying to find a route to an empty place but before she could make a decision Draco Malfoy and Vincent Crabbe rounded the corner. The two of them froze the moment they saw her. Crabbe looked confused as though he was really only mimicking Malfoy but the blonde boy looked as though he Victoria had jumped out at him. She instantly felt hyper aware of her own face and what it might be expressing in Malfoy's eyes and she was happy that she had not been crying. For a moment they stood like that and Victoria could practically see the wheels turning in Malfoy's head as he debated what to say or whether to say anything at all. Crabbe just looked lost. Malfoy's silence and indecision infuriated her. Why could no one treat her normally? Ron hated her now along with the rest of the school! Snape was housing her and giving her birthday presents! Dumbledore had gone weird! McGonagall was unprofessional around her! Hermione was lost and clearly uncomfortable. But snide comments and general douchiness was normal for Malfoy!

'Say something! Come on! she found herself thinking. Was she really so desperate for normalcy that she actually wanted Malfoy to be a prat? But the fact that he too treated her differently despite hating her only hammered in the fact that she was abnormal. And as always with Malfoy, he did what would be least appreciated. With one last glance at her, he turned to Crabbe and said: “Let's go.” Then both boys turned and walked in the opposite direction. Crabbe looked like he wanted to ask Malfoy a question – probably whether rain was wet or something like that but Malfoy shoved him with one arm and silenced the bigger boy. It was too much. And why? Did Malfoy think she was not worth having a go at anymore? Because everyone else was? Or maybe he just wouldn't be seen near her. Victoria exhaled not realising she had been holding her breath. Her eyes felt wet but the fire in her chest spoke of something other than sadness.

“Hey!” she cried and took a few steps after the boys. “Where are you going?” She was angry and at this very moment it felt like it was all Malfoy's fault – probably because he was the nearest person to blame.

Malfoy sighed. “What to you want, Potter?” he sneered as if she had interrupted something important. Victoria did not mind that he used the wrong name. It fuelled her because it was so... normal. She did not really know what she wanted. She supposed she wanted to sort of reaction or acknowledgement.

“Where are you going? Are you scared?” she replied. She felt like a leper at this point and was unaware it sounded like something Malfoy would say even if the intention was different.

Malfoy looked as though she was speaking gibberish. “I'm not scared of anything!”

“Uhuh!” snapped Victoria. “Yeah, you totally didn't chicken out of our duel last year!” She knew perfectly well that the whole thing had been a setup so she would get caught by Filch but even so it was ammunition because Malfoy certainly could not prove he had been up to the challenge. Malfoy's discomfort was gone and now replaced by loathing. Crabbe raised his chin and tried to look menacing which he likely had succeeded in if Victoria was not too distraught to notice.

“That was... That's not... I mean I didn't chicken out!” sneered Malfoy. “You just weren't there when I was, is all!” He was lying of course Victoria knew this.

“Oh really? You know what I think? I think you're too scared of me! I think you know you'd lose!” cried Victoria.

“Not true!” hissed Malfoy and Crabbe grunted something which was supposed to confirm this.

“Then prove it!” replied Victoria before she could realise that this was a very stupid thing to say.

Malfoy paused for a moment, his lips pressed together and his cheeks flushed. His eyes darted between Victoria and some place further down the hallway Victoria had her back to. Then Malfoy seemed to straighten his back and shrugged. “I don't fight girls,” he said evenly and turned to walk away.

She snapped. She was still the same person! While she did in actuality know that Malfoy was only making up excuses it still it her hard. Yes, she had had a miserable home life before. Yes, her secret had been crushing her. Yes, Malfoy was a git. But she had had some safety in the form of Ron and Hermione – the Weasleys and the common room. She had not wanted that to change. And it was one thing for Ron to be upset that she was a Slytherin – not long ago she would have agreed that Slytherin's are evil and perhaps to some extend she still sort of did. But she had been happy in her own way to embrace the fact that she was a girl and stop pretending. To hear Malfoy put her down for the new thing she was happiest about – her entire motivation for the reveal was heartbreaking.

“Shut up!” she cried too loudly. Malfoy even jumped slightly while checking to see if any professors were approaching. “You're just scared because you know I would win!” And before she knew it her wand was drawn and she was pointing it at Malfoy.

“P... Evans, will you...” hissed Malfoy but it was already too late. There was a loud clang coming from the large painting on the wall where Baldwin Bigwig was now waking up inside his giant cauldron. “You know what? Fine! But you're going to regret this! Where's your room then? We can do it there!”

Victoria had lowered her wand in surprise at the noise and subsequent muttering coming from the painting. “Ehm...” she said, looking back at the boys. “Oh! No, we can't do that! I mean... There's not enough room. How about... How about the grounds?” she replied just thinking of something on the top of her head.

“What you rascals up to?” said Baldwin Bigwig suddenly and he peered over the rim of the cauldron. “Waking people up as you please I see!”

“Whatever, Potter,” said Malfoy. “Tomorrow evening then?” Crabbe blocked the painting's view and and started poking the paint with greasy fingers much to Bigwig's disapproval. “Come on, Crabbe!” Malfoy called and the two of them continued down the hallway.

'Great. Just great!' thought Victoria when she was left alone in the hallway with a painting scolding her and the realisation of what she had just done.