Patrick didnt even notice when Harry was brought to his room later in the day. Not for a minute or two at the very least.
He was too busy staring at the walls. The walls that were closing in very slowly on him and all of those around him. The walls that he was very sure where breathing.
In and out. In and out. In and out. Maybe the martian air had finally stopped being so toxic. How he wished he had his space suit... but it was being held by the aliens in the white suits around him! Blast it!
He knew that they were watching him. Trying to pick his brain so they would know how to most easily dissect it later. He knew all this as he stared at the wall and watched it breathe in and out.
He didnt know how he had been so stupid as to get caught by them! All he had been trying to do was save his sister... how was he supposed to know that this planet had stronger gravity than his own and that she wouldnt be able to float away if he pushed her. He just didnt want her to be captured that was all... he didnt mean for them to catch her and for Dad to get so angry. He was part of it too. That wasnt their dad. Their dad wouldnt get so angry at him for doing the right thing. He had to be a pod person. No one was safe. They were all out to steal his brains. He knew it. He just knew it.
And then they bring a new boy in! Of course they do! To try to get him to talk! Well. Hes not going to talk. They can forget that. No no no no no.
—-
Harry stared at the other boy curiously, comparing. The other boy was taller than he was. He had glasses on too though, even more smudged and gross looking than Harry's own. And he was rocking, same as Harry did sometimes. Harry wondered, as he looked at him, if the other boy was scared too.
—-
Pretty soon the boys were taken down to group.
It wasnt a large group. Made up of Harry, the two other boys already introduced, and two very skinny very identical girls with hair that was patchy in different places.
Of course, there was also one of the white coated adults already sitting there when Harry had been brought down.
It was weird. He was very uncomfortable as he sat around and realized people were staring at him. So uncomfortable that, as soon as the adult had started speaking he put his hands in his hears and closed his eyes.
The adult sighed as he saw this. It was always hardest at the beginning. For now, he would allow it.
The rest of the room started filling up with sound. Ruby and Robin were complaining about food, Patrick was whispering to himself something about the walls- the man made a note to check in on that later, and Trevor was complaining about EVERYTHING.
But the person he most wanted to hear from was the new boy, Harry.
Unfortunately for him, Harry just wasnt ready
—-
Harry knew he was being bad. He knew it he knew it. The man was sighing, which he knew from how often other people sighed meant that he was annoyed.
Harry was just so annoying! He was so bad. He wanted so badly to start hitting himself. To just make things a little easier. But the one lady had said that that was bad.
What did she know though. What did she know? He was bad and he deserved to be punished for it. He did!
But he also remembered that... he wasnt supposed to do it. She told him that. And as he occasionally went to pick at a scab when he thought no one was looking... that would start playing in his head. That it wasnt acceptable. That he shouldnt do it.
It was just so frustrating. He wanted to do it so bad! It would feel so so good. But now he felt GUILTY for doing it. And that made him angry.
So he just sat there in group. Sad that everyone was looking at him and seeing how disgusting and bad he was, and shaking because he had no way, no outlet, to deal with those feelings.
He really didnt know how long he could last without hurting himself.
But he remembered Healer Mallory's eyes when she had looked at him and told him that it wasnt ok. She had looked so serious! She looked so serious that... maybe she knew what she was talking about. Maybe.
Maybe he could trust her. But that meant he had to try. He had to try to give up the one thing that made the pain less, hurting himself. And that was going to be tough.
But maybe. Just maybe... it was bad. And maybe just maybe... though right now he was having a hard time believing it, maybe just maybe he DIDNT deserve it.
—-
It had been a long night. Severus, Severus was tired. He was tired, and the hardest work hadnt even begun yet.
But he felt like he knew, just a little bit better, what he was dealing with. And knowledge is always power in his book.
He reminded himself of this as he knocked on the door of Number 4 Privet Drive.
He was bound not to enjoy this. He knew as much.
But he was also going to make sure the muggles werent enjoying it either, because he needed answers.
And at this point, wasnt too picky on how he was planning on getting them.
Chapter 17