Unfortunately for Harry, it was his uncle who found the letter first.
Harry was in his cupboard when he heard a loud guffaw come from the living room. He peaked out and saw his uncle there holding the mail.
He was looking at one letter in particular and Harry supposed the sound his uncle had made could have come because of that. But he wasnt sure. It could have come from anywhere. Maybe it didnt even happen. It was hard to tell. Usually his uncle only laughed when something bad was happening to someone else.
Harry hoped nothing bad was happening but that might be the case. Either that or something had happened to his uncle. Maybe it wasnt really his uncle but some sort of government spy disguised as his uncle. He didnt know for sure.
But what he did know was that in either case, it wasnt good that that sound had happened. Something bad was going to happen.
Petunia must have thought the same thing, because before long she had come running out of the kitchen to join her husband.
She took a long look at the letter then let out a sigh.
"Good. Let them have him."
Him? Thought Harry. Who was HIM? Was it Harry? Was someone coming to take him away?
Harry started shaking uncontrollably. When were they coming? If he hid would they be able to find him? He wasnt very big. He was sure he could hide better than Uncle Vernon or Dudley could.
Wait. What if it was about Dudley?
He LIKED Dudley. He knew Dudley didnt really like him, but he liked Dudley. Dudley made sense. Dudley was mean, simple, spoiled, and rude. But thats just how Dudley was. That was just Dudley. He understood Dudley because Dudley didnt really change very much.
Except lately... he sort of had. He used to pick on Harry all the time. But lately... he had left him alone. In fact, sometimes Harry would catch Dudley giving him weird looks. Harry didnt really understand what they meant. And he didnt like that.
But then Dudley, sometimes, would even be sort of nice to Harry. He would take his shoes off at the door instead of tracking mud through the house for Harry to clean like he used to do. He would leave a bit more extra food for Harry at dinner. And sometimes he would even smile at Harry.
It was weird and it made Harry a bit angry. He knew it was silly to feel angry at this, but Dudley was supposed to be mean and nasty, not nice and helpful. That was just the way things were.
Why did every time Harry feel like he understood something that something would go wonky?
So it made him frustrated.
Harry knew he had to get that letter. He had to know for sure what was going on.
This was one of the best and worst things about Harry. He still, no matter how basic it seemed, tried. He tried to understand what was going on.
It hadnt always been so confusing. In fact, it had only started getting like this at the start of the school year. And even then, it had been different.
He had started the school year feeling a bit different. Really really excited for things to start. He was going to make friends! He was going to be popular! Everyone was going to love him and they would all realize that he wasnt weird. That in fact, he was special!
He still had a hard time talking to people though. But that was ok. He could make them laugh. He would make silly faces or would tap his desk as if he was playing the drums and people would laugh and laugh and it was all just really good. He started making straight As for the first time in his life. Things just felt so easy then. Sure. He had a hard time sitting still. He had a hard time keeping all the words jumping inside of him tied down.
But everything was going so well! The last year had been so hard. He deserved a good year this year. He was so happy for it.
So happy that he didnt realize that things started to slip a bit.
At first when the kids would laugh, he would know that they were laughing WITH him. But after a while, when he had jammed his finger into a pencil sharpener and had drank water from the class fish tank and had called his teacher an endless course of weird nicknames... he realized that those who were once laughing WITH him started laughing a bit more AT him.
He didnt care. Not that much. He didnt really have time for it. And honestly, it was their loss. He couldnt worry about a few negative people when he was obviously doing so well at everything.
But then. Things started to slip and slip more. He started to realize that he was doing some things that he didnt want to do, that when he tried to stop, he really just couldnt.
And it started to scare him. It started to feel overwhelming. His brain had too much inside of it. And eventually things started to twist around and around. And then the people, when they would look at him, these suggestions started popping up in his head. These thoughts of danger. These feelings of intense fear.
And pretty soon things got so bad that he started shutting things out as much as possible. He still moved a lot. He had to get it all out somehow. If he sat still he was sure he would combust with all that was going on inside of him.
He was so confused. He started believing all sorts of things he knew were not real. That couldnt be real. He would remind himself again and again that these things didnt make sense. But this didnt stop the ideas from coming, from threatening him, from overwhelming him.
So he hadnt always been the way he was now. Which made it even more confusing. Because he could remember what it felt like to not be confused. It made it really hard to understand why everything had tilted on its side now when before it all was so much clearer.
Sure he had felt weird before. It happened.
It was just... it was the first time it had ever felt like THIS.
And Harry just didn't know what to do.
Dudley hadnt known what to do either. Life used to be so simple to him. Whine. Pick on his cousin. Throw a fit. Pick on his cousin some more.
But things had changed. Dudley would never admit it but, he felt a bit bad for his cousin.
It was like he was too weird for Dudley to take any pleasure in bullying anymore. He would think about it, and then he would remember, and then his gut would drop and he would realize that he just couldnt do it. That the thought of hurting his cousin now just made him feel sick.
It was something new for him to feel this way. Like said before, he used to have little problem putting his cousin in his place. But that all changed one day. One day a little more than a year and a half ago.
Dudley had been in the kitchen eating an afternoon snack when Harry had walked in. Dudley was immediately annoyed and was just about to start yelling when Harry just stopped and started staring at him.
Harry hardly ever made eye contact with anyone. It was enough to throw Dudley off long enough for Harry to ask the question that would change everything.
Harry. With one of the most haunted and defeated looks that Dudley had ever seen asked him, as calmly as possible, one question.
"Dudley. Will you please kill me?"
Dudley, at the time didnt know what else to do. The second his cousin had finished that sentence Dudley became terrified. As quickly as he could he did the one thing that he knew how to do best. He hit his cousin.
What followed was the most horrible sound Dudley had ever heard in his entire life. The most devestated sound. The sound of his cousin breaking.
Dudley had left the room then. It had been too much.
But he had never forgotten that sound.
Because that sound had opened up a feeling in Dudley that he had never experienced before.
The feeling of pity.
Chapter 2