“There is something wrong with Potter.”
“I quite agree, Severus. Having been bitten by a basilisk is a very wrong thing to have happened to a boy his age – or anyone else, actually.” Dumbledore fished a lemon drop from the jar on his desk.
“This is no laughing matter! He has acted very unlike himself ever since the term started. I have come to suspect your antidote against the Weasley twins’ botchery did not work in the intended way.”
Dumbledore finished eating the sweet before answering. “You did seem to approve. Would you care to explain in which way Harry seems unlike himself to you? I did not notice any difference.”
„A chicken’s sense of taste is woefully underdeveloped. I could base my decision only on your description of the ingredients and brewing process and the colour of the potion. As for Potter, he has not earnt a single detention so far, which in and of itself is atypical.” Severus paced through the room.
“All his homework this year, as well as his performance in class show clear signs of him trying to meet my standards. His decision to attend a Deathday Party would be uncharacteristic for any child, but is especially so for Potter. I have ascertained that Sir Nicholas asked him to attend. The fact that he admitted to having heard a voice no one else could hear when questioned. Moreover, Potter readily acquiesced when asked to let one of us see his memories, even consented to let me view them in order to hasten the process. Then, at the Duelling Club meeting, Potter and Weasley were one of very few pairs who did as they were told and only practised disarming spells. Lastly, after tonight’s disaster, Potter swallowed a bezoar without hesitation when asked by me to do so. I rest my case.”
“I am glad you can finally see that Harry is not nearly as troublesome as you made him out to be last year”, Dumbledore replied, eyes twinkling.
“Nonsense. It is merely a case of Potter’s personality still being influenced by the chick’s instincts. When he was a chick, he obeyed me without question and displayed more self-preservation than Potter usually does. His lack of self-preservation seems to have returned, his disobedience, however, has not. Can you name a single example of him disobeying a direct instruction or mere request by an adult?”
“Nothing comes to mind. However, the same holds true for most children.”
“This is Potter we are talking about!” Severus held out a hand and counted on his fingers. “He disobeyed a clear order by Madam Hooch in his very first flying lesson, was caught out of his common room after curfew, successfully provoked Draco into also being out after curfew, displayed blatant disrespect towards me on numerous occasions and lastly, disobeyed a direct order given by his Head of House. You may think him brave for going after Quirrell, I consider it foolhardy. Regardless of your opinions on his actions, you cannot deny that he has changed.”
“Oh, I rather hope he has changed”, Dumbledore said, smiling. “After all, he is a growing boy of twelve. I would be very concerned if he had stayed exactly the same.”
“This was no gradual change! Do you not realize how dangerous this is? I would not complain, Albus, if there were no downside to it! Imagine Potter had been like this last year, when Quirrell told him to hand over the Philosopher’s Stone!” Of course, if Potter had obeyed Minerva, that would not have happened, but something similar could have.
Finally, Dumbledore frowned. “You think him incapable of disobedience towards an adult?”
“Yes! That is exactly it!”
“Have you asked anything unreasonable of him to test that hypothesis?”
“Of course not. Your request to view his memories would be considered unreasonable by most. As would be Sir Nicholas’ request that a living boy attend a party where all guests are dead and they serve no edible food.”
Dumbledore still did not seem to grasp the gravity of the situation. “Harry is always eager to help. He had already risked his life, running towards the danger rather than away, so why not do something as easy and safe as letting us have a look at his memories? And his attendance at a Deathday Party is easily explained by a wish to help out his House Ghost.”
“And forego the Halloween Feast for that? You can explain away all the instances in which he did what you or anyone else asked of him, but you cannot explain away the fact that he also obeys me.”
At last, Dumbledore sighed. “Very well, Severus. If you are right, you do not need my support. Brew an antidote that meets your standards and ask him to take it. Either he will refuse, proving you wrong, or acquiesce, in which case your goal is achieved.”
********************
Soon after Madam Pomfrey had shooed Hermione and Ron out of the Hospital Wing, Harry had fallen asleep.
When he woke, it was dark.Even the light in Madam Pomfrey’s Office was out.
“Mr. Potter.” Snape must be standing close to his bed.
Harry reached for his glasses. “Is anything wrong, sir?”
“Why would it be?” Snape’s voice lacked the usual sarcasm.
“You wouldn’t be here in the middle of the night if there wasn’t a problem.” Harry put on his glasses. “Um. Thank you for saving my life. For the second time.“
„There is no need to thank me. It is not even certain that the bezoar did any good. Basilisk venom is a very potent poison. Quite probably, it was the phoenix tears that saved you.”
Couldn’t Snape just accept being thanked like a normal person? “Thanks for trying, then.”
“It would not have been needed if you had not been so foolhardy. Do tell me ... if Professor McGonagall had ordered you, explicitly, to stay behind her, would you have done so?” With a wave of his wand, Snape conjured an orb of light that gave just enough light so his face was clearly visible.
Harry frowned. “If I had known it wasn’t Hermione, I would have stayed behind, anyway. I’m not stupid, you know? Obviously, a Professor could handle it – but I thought it was Hermione! When she panics, she tends to forget she can do magic!”
“Good to know.“ Snape cleared his throat. „I have come to believe that the antidote the Headmaster gave you this summer was not fully effective.”
“Antidote? You mean, the one where he had several versions because you didn’t have the time to finish research?” He still was a bit surprised Snape had not told anyone. It was so embarrassing! “But it did what it was supposed to do.”
“Seemingly, yes. However, your personality is obviously still affected.”
“Is it?” Now that he thought about it ... the time when they hadn’t been able to get to platform 9 ¾. And the moment when they’d been caught with the petrified Mrs. Norris. He had been calmer than probably was normal. “I feel okay.”
“You also felt perfectly happy with your circumstances when you were a chicken. That has no bearing on what ought to be done.” Severus took the phial with the potion from his pocket. “This should return you to normal.”
Harry took it with some hesitation. “But I’m really happy with how I am now. Why can’t I just stay like that?”
“Because, Potter, it is potentially dangerous to yourself as well as to others. The actions that promote the survival of a tiny bird are not the actions that promote the survival of a boy. Now drink.”
Snape was probably right, staying calm in situations where he should be afraid could be dangerous. Still ... it had been nice. With a sigh, Harry removed the cork from the phial and smelled the contents. It smelled somewhat like what he had tasted when he’d woken up in the Burrow. He emptied the phial and handed it back. “Should I feel different now?”
“It might take a while for your arrogance, disobedience and lack of respect to become apparent again. I have no doubt they will have returned before the holidays are over.”
Harry stared at him. “You thought the antidote didn’t work because you didn’t think I was arrogant and so on?”
“Obviously.”
“But that’s not what changed!”
Snape raised an eyebrow. “Enlighten me, then. What did change?“
„I just was … less worried about everything. Had the feeling everything would turn out alright in the end.” Harry couldn’t suppress a yawn, but made sure to cover his mouth. “I thought it was because I had spent some weeks at the Burrow and things do tend to turn out alright there.”
Snape’s dark eyes bored into his. “And they do not so at your aunt’s house, I presume?
“Not really. She, uh, doesn’t like me, sir.“
Thankfully, Snape didn’t ask him to elaborate. “If you felt less worried, as you say, then why did you do your homework? With no consequences to fear ...“
Did Snape seriously think everyone did their homework just out of fear? “Not things like that. Things like when we missed the Hogwarts-Express. Percy said you knew about that?”
“I do. So you were not worried about that? Hoping you’d not have to go to school after missing the train?”
Harry stared at him. He had thought Snape ... understood. He must have some idea of what the Dursleys were like. How could he imply Harry wanted to stay there?
“Ah. Back to your usual self, I see.”
“I have never changed!”
“You just claimed you had.” Snape’s eyes narrowed. “Now, which is it?”
“I don’t know! Obviously, I should have panicked when we missed the train and Ron’s parents couldn’t leave the platform and Ron said it was an emergency, but I didn’t! I was just sure they’d come fetch us sooner or later and there was no reason to do something dangerous like have Ron drive the car, or - ” Harry abruptly shut his mouth. Had he already said too much? But he could still make it look like that had been his own idea, not Ron’s.
“You thought it a good idea to get into a car driven by a twelve year old boy?”
“No, I didn’t! That’s why we – I didn’t do it. It’d be much too dangerous.“
Snape raised an eyebrow. “Did you not just say you were not worried?”
He hadn’t been worried, really. “Just because I wasn’t scared doesn’t mean I don’t know it is a bad idea. And I – I would’ve been more scared of not getting to go back to Hogwarts.“ Harry hadn’t realized that before. Getting expelled from Hogwarts couldn’t possibly be worse than death, but to him, it felt like it.
“Why? You are not very studious. I never got the impression that you are overmuch interested in your career prospects.“
“You don’t know what its’s like”, Harry said bitterly. “Having to live with the Dursleys. It’s not about learning, it’s about ... just living here. And just because I’m not Hermione doesn’t mean I’m not interested in learning!” Besides, Snape didn’t even like Hermione, so what?
“My heart bleeds”, Snape said drily. “What is so bad about them? Does Petunia send you to bed without dinner once in a while?”
“It’s not about me! They starved Hedwig! It’s a miracle she survived, three days without food!” Hermione had told him that owls probably couldn’t even digest grains or vegetables, as they only ever ate meat in the wild. And Hedwig was so small! Well, not for an owl, but compared to Harry.
“You did not feel inclined to share your food with her?”
“You try feeding an owl half a tin of soup each day and see how long she survives”, Harry retorted. “I could have given her all the food and it wouldn’t have made a bloody difference, owl’s don’t eat vegetables!”
“Language, Potter.” Snape drew closer. „Half a tin of soup each day? Am I to understand that Petunia did not feed you more than one tin of soup a day? For how many days?”
Damn! He had gone and told Snape about it. But Harry couldn’t get himself to feel too upset about it. Snape had kept silent about Harry having been turned into a chick, the Dursleys weren’t more embarrassing than that. “Three days”, he quietly admitted. “Then I ... uh, got away.“
„I see“, Snape said icily. He started pacing the room now.
“Why’d you ask if you don’t want to hear it?” Snape hadn’t accused him of lying for quite some time, and Harry had gotten used to it. He didn’t want things to return to how they had been last year.
“Me not knowing about it would hardly solve the problem.”
“There is no problem.”
“Stop talking, Potter. Really, I much preferred it when you were a – still under the effect of the Weasley boys’ disastrous experiment.”
“Then why do you turn up here in the middle of the night to change it?” Harry didn’t think anything had changed, really.
“As I said, it was dangerous - ”
“Why would you even care?”
Snape didn’t answer – he just left the room.
Chapter 10