~~~~SS~~~~

"Mr. Malfoy, stay after class. The rest of you are free to go," Severus said in his typical long drawl as his first defense class - the sixth year NEWTs - was coming to a close.

He started the class with a quick aptitude test for each student to see where they were performing after the previous abysmal instructors. As expected, most of the Slytherins were up to par for a start of sixth year level, simply because they tended to receive extra practice at home with various ways around the underage magic laws such as unregistered practice wands. Severus turned a blind eye to the custom only because his mother had an unregistered practice wand that he was, more often than not, allowed to use.

Surprisingly from the aptitude test, was how well the members of Harry's defense group performed. He had anticipated they would do better than the non-Slytherin, non-members, but he did not expect them to outperform his Slytherins. He couldn't help but feel proud that Harry had not only stood up for what was needed against Umbridge, but he had also taught his members so well that Severus now had a full class of very well prepared students.

Their first lesson of the year was on nonverbal spells - a skill they would be using across their other classes - but the students seemed more interested in Harry's absence and Draco's odd silence on the matter than actually learning anything. The last thing he, or the Order, needed was for other students to connect the dots between Draco and Harry. Naturally, due to the lack of focus in class, he assigned a 24-inch essay on the benefits to, and process for, nonverbal spells as well as which spell they thought was the most beneficial to cast nonverbally. He was already dreading reading through them all after their next class.

Draco approached his desk as Theodore Nott, who Severus noticed kept a close watch on Draco throughout the lesson, was exiting the classroom. Immediately after the door closed Severus used a heavy locking spell and silencing ward on the door so no one could eavesdrop and they would not be interrupted.

"Any news?" He asked his student.

"You know, there's not much that could have changed since we talked two days ago." Draco said sarcastically placing his school bag on the floor then leaning against the desk in an attempt to appear intimidating, "of course with him being at my house it doesn't necessarily take a summons to hear things."

Severus took note of the disgusted look upon Draco's face. This was a good sign for the blonde. While he may have defected originally to align himself to the side he thought would least likely land him in Azkaban, the professor could see some semblance of fundamental change happening within him. Maybe there was a chance for Draco after all?

"And how is our favorite Dark Lord?" Severus asked, keeping them on task.

"Is that supposed to be some kind of joke?" Draco snapped as if Severus had lost his mind, "How do you expect him to be? Charming? Psychopathic? I'm certain there are a few more colorful adjectives I can come up with."

"I am merely making conversation, Draco," Severus explained, secretly noting that had Voldemort been gravely ill Draco would have definitely known, especially now that he'd taken up residence at Malfoy Manor. Things were not adding up with the cancer hypothesis and it bothered the former spy immensely.

"Have you been able to find any significance to the date of Charlie Weasley's body being discovered at the Ministry?" The professor asked, sounding bored with the conversation so as not to place any extra importance on the question.

"Of course there was, but I don't know the exact reason or if it had anything to do with Potter," Draco answered arrogantly; then added, "I took your hint and casually questioned Aunt Bella about why the Dark Lord would pick a Saturday, of all days, if he wanted to make a statement."

"Doubting the Dark Lord to his most esteemed follower? I'm sure that went well for you," the former spy provoked. Draco was playing with fire and if he kept up with it, he was bound to get burned. To make a point, he added, "You best be careful. Bellatrix won't think twice before skewering you if the Dark Lord asked her to; don't think she'll give you any leeway just because she's your aunt."

"It was the best I could do and it got you your information," Draco snapped again, highly insulted. "She said that the statement wasn't made for the public or the ministry and that I should never question his plans." He mumbled the last part.

Damnit, it was targeted.

The odds of a leak within the Order or directly within Harry's medical team were getting higher and he didn't like that one bit. He'd have to discuss with Albus how to handle the times where Harry had chemotherapy and he was teaching, so Harry wouldn't be left exposed. Someone in that room with him should know exactly what medications he was getting and the correct dosages for each one.

"Has he found another brewer? My last day of... service... was spent brewing a large number of potions, at some point I assume he'll be needing more?"

There was a pause while Draco thought about that question. It was unlikely the blonde would have much reason to know about the brewing habits of the Dark Lord, but he needed to plant the seed for him to start paying more attention to that aspect. If the Dark Lord had figured out about the Leukemia - and that would be a stretch in and of itself - then he would without a doubt go with the potions regimens, not even considering muggle chemotherapy as an option. There are few brewers available to brew such potions, so it would only be a matter of time before he convinced or coerced one to work for him.

Shaking his head, Draco expectantly said, "I really don't know."

"Keep an ear out going forward," Severus explained as he started cleaning up his desk, "I'm specifically interested in any unique potions he may need brewed for him."

"Of course professor," Draco said oddly obediently giving Severus the feeling that he was getting overwhelmed with all the different aspects to his new found job. If that was the case, then he hated what he needed to discuss next.

"When you are summoned while at school," Severus paused letting that statement sink in, "you are to come to my quarters immediately. I will help get you out of the anti-apparation wards where you can then answer his summons. You are then to floo back to my quarters from the manor. If I'm not there, you are to find me the moment you return; I do not care where I am or what I am doing, you are to interrupt me."

Draco's face paled as he considered the fact that he would not only be summoned again, but at some point it would be while at school. Luckily, whenever Severus had been called in during the school year it was never while class was in session and he suspected the Dark Lord would give Draco the same courtesy. Being a prefect would work out to his benefit this year.

"I hadn't thought about that," Draco said honestly, his eyes shifting as he logically went through what he'd have to do to get away secretly.

"Did you bring your necessary supplies?" He asked referring to his Death Eater mask and robes, which were hopefully well hidden away in the teen's trunk.

"Of course I did." Draco responded highly offended.

Severus nodded his approval then continued, "Do you have any objections to tutoring Mr. Potter? I can speak with Professor McGonagall if you feel it's too much for you. It will be a lot to handle on top of a full course load, Quidditch, prefect duties, and your new hobby."

"Seriously professor?" Draco smirked almost laughing for the first time since staying behind class, "It's Potter; I doubt he's going to challenge me too much. Not only that, I'm told I'll earn an exemplary recommendation from it, so it's not like I don't get anything out of the deal. "

"You'd be surprised," the professor explained, "he's motivated to stay caught up with his courses as much as possible. Plus he has little else to keep himself occupied with at the moment. Dare I say when he returns to classes, he may be more of a competition to you than you'd expect."

Draco gave a face that showed he clearly was not convinced, but Severus wasn't exaggerating. Given Harry's resolve to keep up and his lack of distraction - outside of chemotherapy - he very well could come out closer to the top of his class.

"Rule number two Draco, never underestimate others; it can be detrimental to your mission."

After Harry's attempt to leave their quarters yesterday, Severus made a point of having lunch with the Gryffindor as it was the first day of classes and his student tutoring did not start until tomorrow. Meals in the Great Hall may not have been required for the professors, but Albus definitely expected their presence, specifically the Heads of Houses. So while Severus couldn't spend every meal in his quarters throughout the weeks Harry was quarantined, he had told the headmaster not to expect him specifically at lunch today and not for any meals on chemotherapy days.

"I've made a change to our Defense lesson this evening," Severus said over ham sandwiches, courtesy of the house elves.

"Oh," Harry said, not even trying to hide his confusion. "Why? What are we changing?"

"Given the level of your Defense skills from the group you taught, as well as the fact that - while the Department of Mysteries fiasco did not have the best outcome - six 4th and 5th year students managed not to get themselves killed against a set of Death Eaters, your time now will be better spent starting Occlumency."

Harry sat silent taking in what he had just been told. He narrowed his eyes at the professor, "You could have said, we're starting Occlumency instead and saved yourself about a hundred words. But thank you for the almost-compliment."

Severus pulled out his wand and summoned a book, Clearing Your Mind and the Beginning of Occlumency, which he handed to Harry hoping he wasn't overstepping, "This helped you learn when I taught you in my old reality. Please read the first three chapters today and try to practice clearing your mind. Merlin knows you can use it."

Harry took the book and opened it to the first chapter. Severus was surprised not to hear an immediate complaint about the old style writing which was the very first thing the other Harry had said. Instead, he saw a conflicted emotion cross the young wizard's face.

"Why didn't you give this to me the first time?" Harry asked in a sad, confused voice.

He'd known the question was coming and luckily he had prepared for it, "Harry, please understand that while I have the memories from my counterpart here, I am not him. I still hold the persona of my old self. I can tell you what happened, but not the rationale behind each event," he explained hoping Harry could understand the implications of what he'd just said.

"Well you're a better man than he was," Harry said standing up clutching the book to his chest with the start of a scowl on his face. "Thank you for this, I'll get started right away."

Harry walked out of the kitchen and when Severus heard his bedroom door close, he said to the empty room, "I wish I were a good man Harry."

~~~~HP~~~~

What made him think reading a book about Occlumency would make this process any easier? Harry really tried to get through the first three chapters as Snape asked him to, but he was only 7 pages in and he already knew he wasn't going to make it.

First, the book had to have been written at least two hundred years ago, which made the text difficult to physically read. It was written so long ago, in fact, that Harry wondered where Snape had even gotten this book. If it were in his possession in both realities it was likely to be part of his private collection, the thought of which angered Harry more than anything else he had learned from Snape so far.

So basically the Bastard Snape - that's exactly how I should differentiate them - had this book the whole time he raped my mind for memories and then just sat on his arse watching me struggle to learn.

Second, the book gave him almost no actual instructions on how to start this whole process. If this is where Snape learned Occlumency, he could almost understand why he couldn't explain the whole clear your mind concept. It was a convoluted idea and he had zero confidence that he would succeed in tonight's lesson. All he managed to gain from it was that he needed to consume himself in an image that would then be used to protect himself.

With any luck, Snape had a decent first day of teaching and would maybe have a little more patience than normal. Harry laughed at that thought as it flashed through his mind - Snape and patience were never used in the same sentence together.

The Gryffindor was surprised when dinner randomly showed up on the kitchen table; along with his evening medications. Snape previously explained that he could not get out of being at the first dinner after classes just in case his Slytherin's needed anything after their first full day. Yes, Snape had the standard "open office hours" as all professors did between the last class and dinner, but for some reason he preferred to extend his available time into dinner. Never in his five years at Hogwarts had Harry seen a student approach a teacher at the head table, let alone that teacher being Snape. The Gryffindor didn't even like the fact that the teachers sat watching over the students while they all ate. It was a strange feeling if he thought about it too hard.

Once he finished his dinner alone - making a mental note to check if Ron and Hermione could come down to eat with him from time to time - he continued trying to finish the Occlumency chapters and practice clearing his mind. He could confidently say he had finished the first three chapters, but he would not be able to recite a single thing from them. This was going to be an interesting lesson.

Harry was waiting in the sitting room when Snape finally returned at a half past six, robes billowing behind him as he dropped off a stack of parchment and books in his office then went down the hallway, presumably to his bedroom. The entire time he did not say a word to Harry or acknowledge his presence. Immediately Harry's anxiety increased which, based on the only thing he actually was able to understand from the Occlumency book, was not a good start to this whole process. According to the book and Snape, Occlumency required a calming and trust-filled relationship between student and mentor; something he would have a difficult time doing at the moment.

Harry watched with curiosity as the professor came back into the sitting room no longer wearing his robes, but instead wearing a pair of black trousers and a black buttoned-down shirt with the sleeves unbuttoned and rolled up beyond his middle forearms; just enough to see the snake head on Snape's dark mark. Harry really tried not to look, but he couldn't help it. The mark looked every bit as intimidating and full of dark magic as he remembered, but now it was also red and swollen along the edges; similar to how Harry's scar looked after a vision.

"I'll return in a minute," Snape said, summoning a tea set and pouring them both a cup of tea, "I'm going to borrow the Headmaster's pensieve, so please do not be surprised when I return with it."

"Oh, ok sir," Harry half murmured, half stuttered watching Snape floo to Dumbledore's office.

This was getting too similar to last year. Harry could feel his stomach roiling as if he had just finished a rough chemo round and his breathing was getting shallower with each breath he took. In fact, he was sure the Shepard's Pie he ate for dinner would end up on the floor any second now and Snape would absolutely have a fit over it.

The floo roared to life and Snape did walk out with the pensieve as he promised. Harry audibly gulped at the sight. It was not that he expected Snape to have lied about getting it, but something about just the sight of it in front of him made the young wizard want to quickly leave.

"Try not to panic," Snape said, placing the pensieve between them. "I have a different idea planned for this tonight."

Harry couldn't speak and had barely heard a word the professor had said. All he could do was stare at the pensieve in front of him and picture the day he'd seen Snape's memory. Except it was different now; where he used to focus on his dad humiliating Snape and the bully his dad had been, now he was remembering his mum standing up for the young awkward wizard and the regret that hung over the memory when Snape called her that awful name. He thought back to the conversation he had with Snape about his mother, their friendship, and the end of that friendship.

Suddenly it made sense. That was Snape's worst memory not only because he was embarrassed about Harry's dad hexing him, but because it was what broke up his friendship with Harry's mum. If she hadn't needed to defend him in the first place, the professor would never have lost his best friend. And then to add insult to injury, she ended up marrying the same person that broke up their friendship, and had a son who was almost a carbon copy of his tormentor.

For the first time since meeting Snape his first year at Hogwarts, Harry could almost understand where the animosity came from. There was a deep seated history between both of his parents with this man and he had been put right in the middle of it without any knowledge of what had happened. Did it make it right? Absolutely not, in fact it made Harry angry to think about. Not only was Harry just a child, but he was a child who had been orphaned before he even had a chance to really know his parents. There was no way he could have known their history or been influenced by it. Snape could have resented what Harry symbolized, but the man should have at least tried to understand that this 11 year old would have no idea why he was being hated.

Harry was brought back to the present when he felt a hand placed on his shoulder. Jumping, he instinctively reached for his wand stopping only when he saw the obsidian eyes, right in front his face, full of concern. Snape had shown a lot of concern and worry over the last couple of months for Harry - in fact it didn't really surprise the Gryffindor to see it anymore - but this was a deep worry he had never remembered seeing anyone in his life have for him before.

"Are you alright Harry?" Snape asked in a voice so calming it was almost dissociated from the professor.

"No," Harry admitted for himself as well as Snape, "I'm not alright!"

"You're having a panic attack," Snape said as Harry's eyes darted between the pensieve and his professor. Snape took hold of Harry's left hand and placed it on his own chest. "Focus on the feeling of my breathing."

To prove his point, Snape inhaled dramatically, held it for a couple of seconds and then dramatically exhaled. Harry wanted to pull his hand away from the man he'd worked into hating again. However, he somehow managed instead to focus on the feeling of Snape's rough hands on top of his own and the deceptively soft shirt beneath, as his hand rose and fell with the professor's dramatically deep breaths. Slowly, Harry synchronized his breathing with Snape's and he could feel himself starting to calm; his head wasn't so fuzzy, his ears weren't as muffled, and his mind getting less cloudy with each large breath.

"There you go," Snape said quietly, "welcome back."

"Thank you sir," Harry answered, pulling his hand away, a flush of embarrassment creeping up his cheeks.

"As I was saying," Snape continued recognizing that Harry was embarrassed and not wanting to draw more attention to it, "I think we'd do well to learn from our experiences."

"What makes you think I want to relive what happened last year-"

Snape lifted his hand to interrupt Harry, "I apologize; I misspoke. What I meant was, we have the benefit of already knowing you have the ability to learn Occlumency because I taught it to you previously. Correct?"

Harry furrowed his brow taking the time to think that through. Yes, Snape said he had learned it in his other reality, but did that automatically mean he could learn here?

"What did the book say is the first step to Occlumency?"

"To clear my mind," Harry tentatively replied. He didn't need the book to remember that one; Snape yelled it at him enough last year.

The professor didn't respond, but just raised his eyebrows as if he wanted Harry to continue.

"And that there needs to be a trust between student and mentor," when Snape nodded Harry felt a part of the boulder sitting on his chest start to rise.

"This time," Snape said carefully, "I brought the pensieve for you. I'd like you to place any memories you don't want to share or even possibly relive into the pensieve."

"You're not going to use it sir?"

Snape shook his head, "No, I will not be using it with any of our lessons going forward."

Harry knew that this was not something the Bastard Snape would do. That Snape would never trust Harry with even the possibility of seeing something he should not have.

"What about things for the Order? If I can't Occlude, won't Voldemort get to them?"

As always, Snape flinched when he said Voldemort's name but this time, Harry saw the skin around the dark mark redden more intensely. Was it embedded with dark magic to hurt whenever Voldemort's name was used? He always assumed Snape still somewhat respected the evil wizard, which is why he always said Dark Lord, but was it actually because it caused him pain?

"Does it hurt when I say Vol- his name?" Harry probably shouldn't have asked, but Snape wouldn't have left his dark mark exposed if he didn't want questions; he was too detail oriented for a slip up like that. It was almost as if the professor was inviting Harry to ask about it.

Snape nodded and lifted the remainder of his left sleeve to reveal the full dark mark surrounded by red, raw skin, "It burns as if I'm being summoned. This was a way to help ensure his Death Eaters were keeping the right company and could be punished if they were not."

"I didn't realize that," Harry said thinking back to all the times he'd said Voldemort's name with Snape present. "I'm sorry Severus. Everyone always has some kind of reaction to it, so I never thought twice about it."

"It's fine Harry," Snape said, lowering his sleeve to cover the mark again, fully this time. "Let's get started. Since you cannot use magic at the present time, if you will simply think of the memory you'd like removed, I will extract it and place it in the pensieve. Nod you head when you're ready."

Harry closed his eyes and thought about the Department of Mysteries, not because he didn't want Snape to see what had happened, but because he didn't want to relive it; he couldn't see Sirius fall through the veil yet again. He nodded and felt the hard tip of Snape's ebony wand touch his left temple and then what felt like a silky thread being pulled across the front of his mind. Opening his eyes, he watched the memory fall innocently into the pensieve.

"Again," Snape said and this repeated until Harry had what he deemed as his most private or worst memories safely stored where Snape could not see them.

Next, the professor waved his wand and all the furniture moved to the outside perimeter of the room leaving only a green, silver, and blue area rug he had never noticed before, which Snape enlarged for them to comfortably sit on. Snape sat cross-legged on the rug and summoned the tea set so it was nicely placed on the floor in front of him as if he were having a picnic. Harry had to suppress a laugh at the sight of this normally stoic man seemingly having a tea party on the floor.

Snape patted the rug area to his right inviting Harry to sit down beside him. Once Harry was nervously seated, the professor handed him a small tea cup filled with a tea he couldn't recognize by taste or smell.

"Valerian tea. It will help relax you." Snape said in reaction to Harry's perplexed expression. "Now, there are two stages of Occlumency; the first stage is where the person hides away all of their emotions and memories so they cannot be accessed by the Legilimency attack and the next is when specific memories are used in place of the hidden ones to help project whatever it is an Occlumens wants his opposition to believe."

They continued to drink their tea as Snape went into all the different ways Occlumency could be used, the most interesting to Harry was a way to prevent any Legilimens from knowing which spells he was about to use in a duel. That was one purpose he had not considered and would help him not only whenever he finally had to battle Voldemort, but also if he became an Auror. He could feel himself starting to relax both from the tea and Snape's smooth, even voice as he explained the theory.

"To clear one's mind means to put the emotions away temporarily where the possible attacker cannot find them. Eventually, this is a skill you'll be able not only to do at the moment you recognize an attack is being attempted, but as a way to prevent it in the first place. It will become second nature to you."

That sounded a bit far fetched for what Harry thought he could do, but he was feeling too relaxed to care at the moment. Snape surprised Harry by looking more un-Snape-like when he uncrossed his legs and spread them apart leaving room in front of him where he asked Harry to sit. The Gryffindor will never know what possessed him to do it, but he placed his tea cup down and crawled over to sit directly in front of Snape facing away from him. This reminded Harry of his first spinal tap after his diagnosis when Snape had to help hold his head down allowing Healer Smithe to perform the procedure. Now that he thought about it, Snape had been at all of those awful intrathecal chemotherapy treatments helping, not only to get the procedure completed, but also to help Harry through it.

Slowly, Harry leaned back until he was supported almost completely by Snape behind him. He naturally had the urge to close his eyes when he heard very slowly and quietly in his right ear,

"Keep your eyes closed and think about flying. When you're on a broom flying across the Quidditch pitch and then up and away from the castle. You can feel the cold air against your face, the warm sun on your back as you fly all alone... Now, imagine flying over a forest. The treetops are so dense you cannot see through it no matter how close you get to the canopy. The tree branches are laced together tightly to effectively hide everything below them. You can only see the bright blue sky standing out against the green treetops..."

Harry's breathing deepened until he wasn't even aware that he was now only focusing on the feeling of his breathing. As he pictured the elaborate scene his professor was drawing out for him in his mind, the emotions and thoughts that had been running rampant disappeared. The only thing he was aware of was his breathing, deeply in and out, the sounds surrounding him - the fireplace crackling and Snape's calming breaths in sync with his own - and the smell of the tea mixed with the other scents from the room around him he was never aware of until now - potion ingredients, parchment, books, and the fireplace.

He was not able to tell how much time had passed when he heard Snape whisper from behind him, "You did great Harry."

Opening his eyes, it was now almost dark in the room; the lanterns lit to only a fraction of their brightness. He was still sitting on the floor, legs crossed in front of Snape.

"I didn't do anything sir," he said moving forward and turning to meet the professor.

"You cleared your mind."

Did he hear the sound of pride in the man's voice?

"Really?" He asked, amazed that he managed to do what he had failed at previously. "Though it's not exactly convenient to go through all of that every time I need to clear my mind."

Snape held back a smirk, "It's definitely not, but the more you practice the easier it will get. Now, the first step - as outlined in chapter 2 - is to find the right approach to clearing your mind, which for you is flying. Then we can work on how to use that to build your Occlumency walls, which is the canopy. Eventually you won't need the... Theatrics to do any of it as it will come more naturally than the first couple of times."

Harry gave a skeptical glance towards Snape, "Flying huh? Seemed like a pretty lucky guess, don't you think?"

"I believe in making my own luck," Snape said confidently. "Flying is what finally worked for you in my old reality after about a half dozen failed attempts at it. I simply played the odds that you are fundamentally similar enough to use the same approach here. Not only that, during your bone marrow biopsy you may have mentioned flying while you were nervously waiting for it to start."

He couldn't help staring in awe; Snape had remembered that all this time?

"That's really sneaky Severus."

"No, that's called observant and, as I've said to you before, it has saved my life more times than you can even comprehend," the professor explained while he gradually brightened the lanterns so as not to blind their eyes. Both of them stood and Harry dusted off his jeans for some unknown reason.

"So did you use Legilimency?" Harry was nervous to ask this, but wanted to know since he didn't feel any of the same flashes as last year.

"Not at all," Snape said casually as he put the furniture back in place.

"Wait a minute," Harry said upset for some reason unknown to him, "why not? Wasn't that whole the point of this?"

Treading lightly with Harry's panic attack fresh in mind, the professor answered, "Because we already know what happened when you were pushed into it too quickly. Honestly, this was a fantastic outcome for the first session; much better than I expected."

"So then why the pensieve?"

With the room put back in place, Harry sat down on the sofa and the cup of tea was levitated over to him. He picked it up out of the air and took a sip; it was still as warm as if it were freshly poured. Snape sat down in his normal armchair.

"You needed to trust me," Snape said sincerely, meeting Harry's eyes, "and you could not do so while simultaneously trying to protect that which you were scared to re-live yourself.

"Also, by having you store those memories while seeing that I was choosing to trust you by not storing mine, it allowed you to again relax and trust that this was not going to be the same assault as last year."

Harry smiled; that warm feeling inside himself growing.

"So what's next?" Harry wanted to try as hard as he could to do this right and succeed this time.

"Keep practicing clearing your mind each night. Picture the forest below you, so thick that you can't see through it," Snape explained leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees. "That is where your emotions and memories will hide and then, when you're ready, we'll move onto an attempt to use Legilimency against you."

Harry was very aware that Snape did not use the word attack because he had made it obvious that was not how they were going to do things this time. Appreciation. He appreciated what this Snape was doing.

The rest of the night was spent discussing Snape's first day of teaching defense and specifically the rumors he had heard regarding Harry's absence, ranging anywhere from being locked in the dungeon of Voldemort's headquarters, to him being too embarrassed to show his face after the Department of Mysteries, and his favorite being locked up in St. Mungo's from losing his mind until he finally did away with his relatives himself.

Snape assigned him the same essay he gave the rest of the sixth years today, which he could work on tomorrow when Malfoy was tutoring him in the classes he missed. Finally, Snape restored his memories from the pensieve before he went back to his bedroom and got ready for bed.

It was when he was alone, dressed in a comfortable pair of blue flannel pyjamas, trying to fall asleep in bed that he was able to reflect on everything that had happened during Occlumency.

While he had known - even before Snape explained the whole realities thing - Snape was acting differently, tonight it was obvious that this Snape cared about Harry as if he were still his son. Even after all this time living in Snape's quarters, Harry had mixed feelings about the idea that the professor saw Harry as a son. It was easy to get confused in his own mind - yes, he obviously knew Snape thought about him that way, otherwise they wouldn't be here together in the first place - but he never considered how he felt about that fact.

I don't want to be Snape's son... right?

Of course I don't.

He was already 16 years old, he didn't need a parental figure in his life. Deep down though, in the place where he kept his deepest secret and biggest fears, he wanted one even if he would never admit it out loud to even himself. Wasn't that what all children wanted, needed really, no matter how old they get? Why else would he have been ready to move in with Sirius after only just meeting the man... a man he thought only a couple of hours earlier was a murderer and betrayed his parents?

He could feel the heavy grief covering him yet again, like a thick blanket wrapped tightly from his head to his feet, for the life he'd never lived. Harry didn't even know what it meant to have or be a parent, but he tried to imagine what it would be like to finally have someone put his needs first and take an interest in what he's doing or how he's feeling.

Harry fell asleep with only one thought going through his mind:

If all of that is what Snape has been doing this whole time, then what does that make us now?