~~~~AU SS~~~~

Severus and Harry had only been home to Spinner's End for less than a week after the school year ended a fortnight ago. First walking into the recently renovated house felt somewhat ceremonial as it was the first time they'd returned after the adoption became official only three months ago. He'd left for Harry's second year of school this past September not having a clue that he'd return as Harry's father. It was an odd, yet satisfying feeling; like somehow the universe aligned and this was exactly how his life was supposed to go all along.

The Potions Master had just walked into his home from a quick shopping trip to gather the last minute necessities they would need for the upcoming holiday Severus had planned. He would never admit that he was nervous to be taking Harry away just the two of them. It was not something he would normally do on his own, however he wanted to give Harry - his son - the kind of experiences that had been withheld from him during his time living, or more accurately imprisoned, at the Dursleys. This trip - and this location - was a perfect way to start their summer.

"Come in," the young wizard called from the other side of his bedroom door.

Sitting up in his bed, Harry had a book laying across his lap. Hedwig was perched in her cage and ruffled her feathers, giving a small hoot when the door opened; she seemed to enjoy her new home. Severus placed the bag onto the top of Harry's bed.

"We're going away for a week or two," he explained to the Gryffindor, "I expect you to be packed and ready to go in the morning."

As predicted, Harry didn't hide his skepticism, "Where are we going?"

"You'll see in the morning," Severus replied "Pack casual clothing and a pair of swim shorts."

"We're going swimming?" Harry asked with a smirk that immediately fell, "I don't have swim shorts."

Lifting up the bag he had placed on the bed, the professor replied, "Now you do. Get packed."

Early the next morning, the portkey Severus arranged took them almost all the way to the cottage he rented for the two of them. Once they landed - or fell in Harry's case as it was his first time using a portkey - the moist sea air instantly brought Severus back to one of his best summer memories from his own childhood.

"Where are we?" Harry asked, walking out from the narrow space between two stone buildings and looking around the village they had arrived in.

"Aberdaron... in Wales," the Potions Master replied, taking a left and walking confidently down the street.

Severus could see Harry looking around in amazement as they continued their journey. Severus was not normally a sentimental man, nonetheless watching Harry reminded him of his own first visit to this same town; his excitement to leave Cokeworth if only for four days and to see the ocean for his first time. It had been years since he'd been here, and walking down the familiar streets with Harry helped to heal a wound so deep within him that he'd long gotten used to always being there.

It was less than a ten minute walk to get to their first destination, most of which was spent walking in silence. They finally approached a small white building with a bright red door.

Before opening the door, Severus turned to Harry and said in a quiet voice, "Please remember this is a muggle town. Keep your wand on you at all times, but under no circumstances should anyone see it. And it goes without saying that you cannot perform anything with it."

"That's not a problem sir," Harry replied almost smiling.

Nodding, Severus opened the door and gestured for Harry to go in first. The professor greeted the older woman who was checking them in, all the while Harry went looking around at the old artefacts and history of the town that was on display around the room. With the keys to their cottage in hand, Severus called Harry to head out until they were stopped by the innkeeper.

"Do let me know," she started giving Severus's arm a soft pat, "if you or your son should need anything during your stay Mr. Snape."

"Thank you very much," Severus politely replied before continuing to walk out the door; sure he would never get used to Harry being called his son.

They continued walking until they reached a steep hill with a winding dirt path leading up to a faded yellow cottage. Severus turned when he noticed Harry had stopped following behind.

"Is everything alright Harry?" The professor asked.

"Yes sir," the young wizard replied with a small quiver in his voice. "I..."

"It's just at the top of this hill," he told the young nervous wizard. "Trust me, the view is worth the hike."

Severus nodded his head as he helped lead Harry up the hill and towards the small house. He knew it wasn't the hike that was causing the Gryffindor's hesitation. Harry was feeling overwhelmed with the reality that someone wanted to take him on a holiday. It was the exact same way Severus himself felt when he came here... with Lily's family. His first ever holiday. He had been so shocked when Mr. and Mrs. Evans had invited him on their family trip after their third year and even more shocked when his mother allowed him to go. They spent the entire time on the beach and swimming in the sea; it was one of the most relaxed he had been in his life.

Severus had been correct that the view was worth the hike, however for him it was not the stretch of beach against the blue sea; it was the look on Harry's face the moment he first saw the sea. From up on the hill, the sea breeze passed through Harry's always messy black hair and the almost teenager looked completely carefree. The Gryffindor closed his eyes and took a deep breath of sea air.

"This is brilliant Severus!"

The pair ended up extending their stay until the week after Harry's 13th birthday, where they celebrated seaside at the more secluded Porthor beach and Harry was able to experience the whistling sand when he slid his feet across it in just the right way. The trip had been filled with laughs, stories about Lily and her parents, and discussions about both the previous school year and the one coming up. Harry fell in love with the sea - claiming it to be his favorite place outside of home and Hogwarts - and Severus, not realizing that Harry did not know how to swim, taught the young wizard to swim. It was a perfect holiday for them both.

The only damper to their first family holiday was the night Severus saw an all-too-familiar face splashed across the muggle news at a cafe near the Aberdaron beach. Sirius Black had somehow escaped Azkaban; or prison according to the muggle news. There was no doubt in the former spy's mind that Black would be coming after Harry. His insides burned with hatred for the man that not only bullied him as a teenager, but also who's betrayal killed Lily. With any luck, the mutt would go to Little Whinging first, knowing that Harry would have been left with Lily's sister after the Potter's deaths. He would never be able to find Harry with the Fidelius in place at Spinner's End, which meant that their beach trip had to come to an end. It was time to go home.

Once they were finished packing up the cottage; finding the random book out on the front porch or parchment and quills stuffed between the sofa cushions from when Harry decided to work on his summer assignments, they both sat outside looking out to the sea one last time.

"Thank you Severus," Harry said, turning his head to look at the man who rescued him from his old life and was helping him rebuild this new one together. "I really appreciate you bringing me here."

"You are very welcome Harry," the Potions Master said, "We'll be back, I promise."

What Severus did not know was that they would never make it back to Aberdaron. The next two summers would be spent with the Quidditch World Cup, followed by a summer dedicated to a complicated commissioned project in addition to Aunt Petunia's funeral, and their final summer together they would spend tweaking potions to try to cure the Leukemia that was - even now - secretly held within Harry's blood waiting to wreak havoc on his body. Severus would plan to bring his son back to celebrate both the teen's 17th birthday and remission to the cancer he would fight hard against, however they would never make it because they would both be gone by then - Harry to the cancer and Severus to a new reality... a reality where a boy, who was not his son, was now sitting away locked up in a room that was not his own hoping to be ignored and thinking that would make it the best summer ever, instead of sitting next to his father getting ready to go home after his first real holiday.

~~~~SS~~~~

"I take it there was not any issue with our plan of action," Albus asked his defense professor first thing Monday morning before the start of his sixth year defense class; Severus had decided to pick up his classes again this week alongside Harry.

"Of course there wasn't," he replied with a smirk upon his face. "Did you honestly expect otherwise?"

Yesterday he met with Draco regarding the next mission the Order needed his assistance on. The former spy was finally able to convince Albus and the Order to start planning a rescue mission for Sarah and Mary Smithe, assuming they were even alive anymore. Albus had met individually with each member that would be directly involved in the mission to start putting everything into motion.

Severus's first part included finding out where Alton's loyalties lie; a task he had been trying to determine, however now that Harry had mostly recovered from the pneumonia it became a higher priority. The professor had been observing Alton since they discovered he had been compromised, nevertheless he still had very little substantial evidence to determine if he'd acted of his own accord or not. It could go either way, yet Severus's instincts still told him that Alton ultimately was on their side and was being coerced into helping the Dark Lord.

The initial plan was that the Order would be putting together two teams for the rescue mission; a tactical team and a reconnaissance team. Moody was leading the tactical team that would be the group stealthily infiltrating the Dark Lord's headquarters and actually rescuing the two muggles, while Severus was leading the reconnaissance team who was responsible for gathering the intelligence and would be staged as the watch post during the mission. Since his spying had ended earlier in the summer, Severus was anxious to get back into the field, though he would never openly admit to it. His nervous energy lately had been getting to him and this would be a good outlet to focus it on.

Naturally, Draco was part of the reconnaissance team. The Slytherin's role was to work directly with Moody - to which the new spy did a decent job at keeping his facial expressions neutral even though Severus knew how excited he was over the opportunity - to map out every passageway, opening, exit, and guard in Malfoy Manor. This would become the map the tactical team would use to plan and execute the rescue; giving Draco his leap of faith and trust from all members of the Order. Unfortunately, Severus had the suspicion that should the smallest detail be incorrect and the mission fail - specifically if there were any loss of life to their side - Draco was being set up for the fall out, which the professor was dead set on preventing at all costs.

"It's a lot of responsibility for young Draco," the headmaster commented casually as he sat behind his desk that was littered with parchment. Severus briefly wondered what kind of work Albus did all day when he wasn't orchestrating the fight against one of the darkest wizards of their time. He imagined it was rather tedious and political - two things the former spy hated the most.

"He's up to the challenge," Severus casually replied. During all of this he questioned to himself how a student could have gotten wrapped up in this mess and he was hating himself for his role in it. "Now Moody on the other hand..."

The professor trailed off knowing Albus would follow his train of thought. Moody distrusted Draco almost as much as he did Severus, and that was mostly based on his not so misguided distrust of the Malfoy's in general. It was a battle the blonde would always face and perhaps success with this mission could achieve two goals - rescuing the Smithe's and better aligning Draco with the Order for future assignments. It would definitely help pave the way forward to a better future for Draco.

Harry, he suspected, would have an issue with this plan. Even though neither wizard had explicitly discussed where they stood with each other, it was obvious that Harry had started to depend on Severus and would likely be unhappy with him going straight into the Dark Lord's headquarters. He tabled that thought in his mind for now to focus on the present; apparently he'd miss whatever Albus had just said.

"What's on your mind Severus?" his mentor asked, bringing the younger professor back to the present.

"I'm considering how this will impact Harry," Severus said honestly.

"When Harry finds out that two innocent muggles are being held captive, possibly to influence his healer to provide information or access directly to him, I suspect he'll want to join Alastor in the battle," Albus gave a small smile. He was completely right of course, Harry never backed down from a fight against those in danger. That was another one of his Gryffindor traits that would make him an awful Slytherin.

"Unfortunately very true," Severus said, meeting Albus's blue eyes.

"But you expect he won't be happy about you in the field," the headmaster took a guess.

"We've never discussed my job within the Order, so I'm unsure of his reaction," a pained expression crossed his face with the blatant lie.

"Ah, but that's not true is it my boy," Albus said factually, leaving no room for interpretation. "We both know Harry would be devastated should something happen to you on this - or any - mission."

"This was not an issue in my old life where the Dark Lord had stayed dead," Severus spat out frustrated with himself more than anyone else. "What am I supposed to do? Abandon everything I can actually do to help us win this war? Where would that leave Harry? I don't care about some asinine prophecy, he should not be left to handle this alone; he's sixteen for Merlin's sake!"

"Of course not," Albus said calmly. He stood and Severus mirrored him, knowing if he stayed any longer he'd be late for his first class. "Have you heard anything from Alton about Harry's magical records?"

The professor shook his head, "Nothing, meaning he hasn't questioned its authenticity. I've briefed Minerva and we will discuss the real results on Friday while Alton is comparing his tests to the falsified record. Hopefully we'll have a better picture of Harry's magical ability at that point."

Nodding his head in agreement, the headmaster turned towards one of the many bookcases in the room. Taking that as his dismissal, Severus went to leave, but was stopped right before exiting.

"One more thing Severus," the elderly wizard said, "do you know if Alton Smithe is marked?"

It seemed quite obvious that had he been bearing the Dark Mark, Severus - a former Death Eater - would have known by now. To give the headmaster the respect he deserved, the professor went back through his memories - from both realities - to try and determine if he could say without a doubt that the healer was not marked. Unfortunately, nothing stood out one way or the other.

"I do not believe he is," Severus answered, "it's definitely a good place to start. Thank you, Headmaster."

How could he not know something as simple as if Alton carried the Dark Mark? He, himself, didn't go around flaunting his mark, so it was definitely possible Alton had been hiding the mark this whole time. If that were true, he might as well turn in his resignation now because something so obvious should never have escaped his keen observation skills.

The professor stormed into his classroom mere minutes before the students usually arrived. Pulling out the notes from Tonks to familiarize himself with where they ended last week, he lifted his head when two gasps were heard. Based on the shocked faces of Hannah Abbott and Susan Bones - who were the first and second students to arrive - Tonks had not announced her departure from the post and that Severus would be taking over his class yet again.

This should prove to be a fun class.

Once all the students were obediently in their seats with their essays handed in - which the professor briefly considered sending to Tonks for marking - he paired them off to practice nonverbal shielding spells. Given what happened at the Quidditch pitch yesterday, he uncharacteristically made sure not to pair any Gryffindor student with a Slytherin student, less he be prepared for bloodshed; and it would be a toss-up as to where the blood would come from. Even with his precautions in place he wasn't at all surprised when the arguments started in the first half of class.

"What the hell did you do that for?" Draco yelled across the room when a stray jinx - verbally he noted - went flying from Ron, Hermione, and Neville's group over to Draco, Pansy Parkinson, and Theodore Nott's group.

"That's for what your goons did to Harry yesterday!" Ron spat back, taking full responsibility for the stray jinx.

"Excuse me; I think your aim was a little off there," Draco called sauntering over towards the Gryffindors. "Did you even hear yourself? You said my goons which does not mean me."

Ron straightened up taller as the Slytherin approached, "If you think for a second I believe you had nothing to do with it-"

"Don't get me wrong Weaslbee," Draco laughed sardonically with a look of disgust across his face, "I wish I had been there to see it; bet it was hilarious to watch The Chosen One scramble all around. He got what he had coming to him, but Crabbe and Goyle acted all on their-"

"That's enough," Severus called, sweeping across the room to stand directly between the two students. "Mr. Weasley, under no circumstances are you to attack a fellow classmate-"

"Isn't that kind of the whole point of this class?" Ron interrupted with a mumble. The rest of the class physically took a step back away from their professor as the anger radiated from him.

"You were supposed to be practicing non-verbal spells with Mr. Longbottom and Miss. Granger, not at Mr. Malfoy. And I clearly heard your Flipendo from my desk on the other side of the room," Severus said between gritted teeth emphasizing the last five words, "That will be 25 points from Gryffindor and detention. Now everyone back to work!"

Ron's face turned bright red in anger, but Severus knew he wouldn't get another peep out of the teen for the rest of the class.

Overall, once Ron had gotten whatever that was out of his system, the rest of the class continued smoothly. There were little comments here and there, mostly stemming from the Slytherins to the Gryffindors after Ron's attempted attack. He walked around the room making corrections as needed to posture or wand movement while keeping a close eye on each group.

"Mr. Weasley," he called when class was ending, "please stay behind after class to discuss your detention."

As expected, Ron groaned and told his friends to go on without him; that he would meet them at their next class.

"Yes, professor?" Ron asked as he approached the professor's desk. Severus hated dealing with the immaturity of students, especially the older years who knew better than to act as Ron had in his class. He usually enjoyed the N.E.W.T classes as a reprieve from this type of immaturity.

"I don't expect to see any more of that blatant disregard for the rules from you, understood?" he lectured to which Ron merely nodded. "While your loyalty was in the right place, this was not the time to act upon such instincts."

"I'm sorry professor," Ron mumbled more than a little confused about Severus's attitude towards the incident.

"I will not be having you serve detention," Severus started, but raised his hand to stop Ron from interrupting, "however I will ask you to instead write an essay on what you think the phrase keep your friends close and your enemies closer means specifically during times of war. I expect the appropriate textual references included."

"Are you calling Malfoy my enemy?" The Gryffindor asked, even more confused.

"As a professor, do you think I would say something like that?" Severus answered. "I simply think you can use a reminder in subtle and strategy."

Severus reached out and handed his student a note excusing his tardiness from his next class. Ron grabbed the note and his bag, then turned to leave.

"And Mr. Weasley?" The defense professor called out before the redhead reached the door, "I think Harry would be appreciative if you could have dinner with him tonight."

~~~~HP~~~~

Harry had been nervously pacing most of the day as his transfiguration lesson with Hermione wasn't until the hour and half before dinner. He knew he'd annoyed Snape that morning from his nervous tapping of his hand and foot against just about any surface he could find during breakfast. In fact, Harry was sure that the professor made up the early morning meeting with Dumbledore just to get away from him and his nervous energy.

Neville's Herbology lesson was easier than expected, mostly because he'd really focused on Herbology and Transfiguration over the weekend in preparation for today's lessons. Neville filled Harry in on what happened when he'd gone to the hospital wing yesterday and the rest of the students went with Professor McGonagall. Harry made a mental note to ask Snape if Crabbe and Goyle could serve their detention with Hagrid in the Forbidden Forest. With any luck, those two gits would be so traumatized they wouldn't come anywhere near him anymore.

By lunchtime, Harry had managed to work himself back up over the incident yesterday. So what if they humiliated him? Why should he care at all what they did? It's not like everyone couldn't already tell he had no hair. Even with a hat on, it was quite obvious his black, messy hair that usually stuck up every which way was missing. By now he was sure everyone would know he had cancer, if they didn't already know it was Leukemia. Then there was the stunning spell; who did that for him? Hermione was so sure it was him, but how could he do magic without knowing it? Even when he'd done accidental magic growing up, he could definitely feel the magic flowing through him even if he didn't know what it was at the time.

He'd finally come full circle and had exhausted himself emotionally when the parchment appeared in front of his face to announce Hermione's visit. He smiled when in addition to Hermione's name he also saw Ronald Weasley and Dudley Dursley written on it. Running to the door - something he rarely had the energy to do normally - he pulled it open to see his two best friends and cousin waiting to come in.

"Hey guys," he said, gesturing them inside. "What's with the party?"

"Snape thought you could use the company today," Ron said, getting ready to sit down onto the sofa, before Dudley elbowed him in the ribs. "Oh right, I think we're going to study a bit in Harry's room, I have this essay for Snape... Y'know... And we'll let you two..."

Not even trying to hide their intentions, Ron and Dudley walked back to Harry's room leaving him alone with Hermione. She had set out all of their Transfiguration notes like she was fully prepared to keep this all business.

Taking a deep breath, in an attempt to be mature about the situation, Harry said, "I'm sorry 'Mione."

The young witch paused her nervous stacking of notes, peered up at Harry and immediately started spewing out quickly, "I'm the one who's sorry Harry. I should know how sensitive you must be over your magic. I didn't mean it to sound like I knew better than the professors. Of course they have more experience then I do, it's just that-"

"I wish you were right Hermione," Harry sat down on the sofa next to her talking very seriously, "but if I give myself even a little bit of hope and then I'm wrong, it will feel so much worse. At this point, I'm just trying to accept that I'll lose at least some of my magic... You know, be prepared for the worst. "

"I understand Harry," she said sympathetically.

"No, you really don't," he answered her honestly. "If you understood, you wouldn't have said anything about it in the first place. No one can really understand what this feels like ok? So can we just move on and start on our lesson please?"

"Yeah," she said, opening her textbook, "Did you hear Ginny's back? She was at the Great Hall for breakfast this morning..."

But Harry didn't say anything to that. Of course he was happy Ginny had recovered and hoped she would be able to put it all behind her and still have a great fifth year. If somehow the fates only allowed one of them to win their battle, he absolutely wanted it to be her.

Despite their current frigidness towards each other, Hermione perfectly explained the lesson on human transfiguration. It was complicated and Harry doubted that even if he could use magic that he would be able to do it correctly, however she made sure he knew the theory in its entirety. He questioned to himself how much these theory-only classes were actually helping him and not simply filling up his day. Would he realistically be able to jump back into the practical part once he was allowed to use magic again? Probably not without some extra tutoring on top of his normal classes. Even a more depressing thought was that if he had three years of chemotherapy, it would last for a year beyond his time at Hogwarts; meaning he definitely couldn't take N.E.W.T.s on theory alone, so was all of this just a waste?

Right on time, Ron and Dudley came out of Harry's room to meet them for dinner. The kitchen table was set for four that night, something that Harry was grateful for. While he was physically feeling better, these were the hardest times to be quarantined away. He was pretty sure his immune system was now strong enough to stand at least being in class, but he dared not ask Snape about that already knowing the answer he'd receive.

"So Dudley," Ron asked, trying to diffuse some of the tension that could be felt around them, "how long are you staying at the castle?"

"Well," the muggle said casually, "I wanted to stay at least until Harry was better from the pneumonia, so I dunno now."

"If you can, I think you should stay," Harry spoke up without even realizing he'd said it. "Honestly, it's probably safer here for you too. With Voldemort actively trying to get to me, it's only a matter of time before he goes after you."

Harry hadn't thought about that until this very moment - all he knew was that he wanted Dudley to stay - and he now felt guilty for having left his cousin at risk. What would he have done if Voldemort had killed him? Or captured him until Harry gave himself up? Before this summer he would not have cared one bit... no, that wasn't true, he would have cared because Dudley didn't deserve to die for Harry's cause no matter what the teen had done to him.

"I'd like that," Dudley gave a small smile, the two teens had come a long way since Harry first arrived back at Privet Drive, especially because they were the only real family they both had left.

The rest of dinner was spent discussing classes, like how even though Tonks was so much nicer than Snape, they thought Snape was a more effective teacher than the metamorphmagus and ironically how they hoped Snape would get stay more than one year; or some of the hilarious discussions Dudley's been a part of in Muggle Studies. Harry could feel his negative emotions peeling away as the four of them laughed retelling the story of Ron's experience calling on the telephone. Even Dudley managed a good laugh while remembering his father's reaction.

When they started talking about what happened in this morning's defense class and Ron's cancelled detention, Harry couldn't hold back his comment.

"Wait a second," Harry said halfway through dinner, "you attacked Malfoy right in front of Snape? Are you mental?"

Ron laughed, "Probably! I'll admit it wasn't my brightest idea, but I also wasn't in the stands yesterday and had to do something about it. I couldn't just let him get away with doing that to my best Mate."

"No you really didn't have do anything Ron," Harry replied, feeling his face flush a deep red. Now the class would assume he couldn't defend himself on top of everything else. "Not only that, Malfoy really had nothing to do with it."

"As if Crabbe and Goyle do anything without that git's approval first," Ron retorted back. "He might not have been there, but I'm sure he explained to the both of them exactly what to do to you."

"No offense Harry," it was Dudley this time, "having been in Malfoy's position, Ron's probably right. Malfoy's the ring leader, I doubt they'd do anything without him at least knowing about it."

"No offense Dudley," Harry said back in a way that made it clear he was being sarcastic, "but that's nothing to be proud of."

Even though they were talking about Dudley and Malfoy's bullying, Harry couldn't help thinking of his father and specifically the memory he saw in Snape's pensieve. His dad was in the same position as the two bullies; he appeared to be the Marauder's ring leader. Without even realizing it, a horrible thought popped into his head and refused to leave-

If my parents had lived, would I have ended up as my dad, Dudley, and Malfoy?

"Ron," Harry continued, tabling the bully thought for later, "I can tell you for a fact that Malfoy had nothing to do with it. You need to trust me on this one. In fact, I think you guys should just leave him alone from now on."

Harry could tell Ron wanted to argue back, yet he didn't say a word, just stared at Harry as if he had two heads. To the red head's credit, he did let the topic go with just a shake of his head in disagreement.

Before the trio left - a thought that shook Harry's core to think about the moniker that used to include him - he pulled Hermione in for a big hug. She was sniffling into his shoulder, hoping things would work out between them.

"Ask Professor Snape about it Harry," she whispered into his ear, not being able to let the topic go. "I think he suspects something too."

Harry did his best to hide how surprised that statement made him. Hermione had no way of knowing he had told Snape about it yesterday in the hospital wing and the professor hadn't mentioned anything about his own suspicion on Harry's magic. Why would Hermione think that about Snape? Had the two been talking about him? He shuttered at that thought. More importantly, was there anything else the professor was hiding?

Snape arrived only a half an hour after his friends left. Dutifully, Harry was sitting on the sofa working on his potions lessons for tomorrow - so he could feel somewhat prepared - when the professor stormed into the room.

"Everything ok sir?" Harry asked sitting up a little further onto the sofa.

"It's none of your concern," the professor expectantly replied.

"You really should consider getting that tattooed on your forehead," Harry laughed, "it would save you at least a million words over your lifetime."

The glare Snape gave him was almost worth it. In fact, it came really close to rivaling that of Uncle Vernon's, which Harry sometimes enjoyed provoking.

That's the second time I've thought of him today...

Snape came walking into the sitting room - dropping a pile of parchment and a copy of the sixth year defense book onto the table - and took a seat in his normal armchair. Harry had a flashback to when he first arrived in Snape's quarters, back before it felt like home to him and he was nervous about every little step he took. His nerves started jumbling inside him as he picked up on Snape's dour mood.

"May I ask you a question before we start?" The young wizard asked tentatively.

"Of course you can," Snape steepled his fingers waiting to hear what the Gryffindor wanted to know.

"Have I been doing magic?"

It was straight and to the point just as Snape usually appreciated, somehow though it seemed to only anger the professor more. Harry got the feeling there were things Snape was hiding from him and he wanted to know what it was. He could feel himself getting as angry with the man in front of him and in the same way as he did with Dumbledore last year.

"Why do you think you've been doing magic? This wouldn't have anything to do with Miss. Granger's inability to keep her nose out of everyone else's business-"

"She's my friend!" Harry exclaimed; Snape was being completely unfair. "I appreciate her honesty, it's what friends do. And besides, you clearly know something I don't because otherwise you would have answered my question instead of deflecting it. I've picked up on your Slytherin idiosyncrasies by now."

Snape pinched his eyes closed with his fingertips for what seemed like five minutes. Harry wondered if he'd pushed too far, until he heard Snape say, "You've been doing some magic; more so recently than when you first got here."

"What am I doing?" Harry asked, his voice laced with panic, "How can't I know that I'm doing it?"

"I don't know," the professor answered leaning forward towards Harry. "It's little things really, mostly summoning charms and silencing wards. Professor McGonagall is looking into all she can on it and hopefully we'll know more after your testing on Friday."

Harry ran his hands across his head, hating himself for the automatic gesture that only reminded him that he no longer had hair. So he was doing magic for some unknown amount of time. It was a strange and disturbing thought, like waking up and finding evidence of sleeping walking outside and having no recollection of how you'd gotten there.

"If I only have so much magic I can use," he started talking very quickly, "what is this random spelling going to do to it?"

"Spelling?" Snape gave a painful grimace at Harry's half made up word.

"You know what I mean!" He stood and started pacing, "Doing spells randomly! Have I hurt anyone?"

"No," Snape said confidently. "Even the attack on Vincent Crabbe and Gregory Goyle yesterday was innocent."

Harry stopped his pacing and gave Snape a look that said he didn't agree. The last thing he needed was something like what happened with Ginny and the Chamber of Secrets incident to be happening to him. If the rest of the school found out, he'd be targeted for sure.

"We'll figure it out Harry," Snape said in response to the obvious panic attack written across the young wizard's face. "Now sit down so we can go through your defense lesson."

"Oh yeah," Harry said moving onto the other issue he managed to talk himself into earlier, "Why am I even bothering to learn theory again? I can't bloody-well take my N.E.W.T.s on theory only and since I have at least three years of chemotherapy in some aspect, won't I just have to repeat it all anyways?"

A wave of guilt covered Harry as the professor in front of him hung his head in frustration. Harry definitely now got the feeling he'd pushed too far, though at the same time he didn't want to waste his professors' or Hermione's, Neville's, and Malfoy's time with all of the extra tutoring and it did not matter in the end.

"Maybe I should just leave the castle," Harry sat down; his anger having dissipated slightly. For reasons he couldn't place, he was nervous; his stomach was churning and his heart was beating quickly. "What am I even doing here? There's no point in pretending I'll be going on with life as normal after all of this."

"You will Harry," Snape's obsidian eyes met Harry's and the young wizard could feel the pleading within them. "You will go on with life as normal and likely much sooner than you think right now. You're in the castle because it's the safest place for you to be with the Dark Lord actively searching for you; trying to kill you actually. I promise, I will go through everything once we've gotten a chance to test your magic on Friday. That is the day you'll be the strongest and we'll be able to monitor you going forward. We'll talk about it as often as you need to, but we need to see where you are at first."

What could he say about that? Snape was completely right that they need to see where his magic is before they could address any of his many concerns. Harry hated all this waiting the most. Finally, the young wizard opened his defense book with a defiant look still upon his face.

At that moment he made a decision that less than three months ago he would have thought impossible, "Ok Severus, I trust you."

~~~~SS~~~~

Given everything going on, it was only a matter of time before Harry had a breakdown as he had on Monday night. Severus had hoped that getting the good news about the cancer not returning after his pneumonia would be enough for him to stay positive, yet he clearly had more on his mind then anyone could have thought. Once Harry had completed this upcoming round, Severus would commit to restarting Occlumency if for no other reason than to help clear the teen's mind through all of his anxieties.

Wednesday evening he was called to the Headmaster's office directly after his last class of the day - fifth years who still had a long way to go to be on pace for their O.W.L.s. He was in a foul mood after dealing with incompetent students all day on top of his dark mark starting to burn after lunch, which was an odd time of day for his former master to summon his followers and therefore was just another reminder of his supposed disloyalty to the Death Eaters. His latest burn cream was the best of the batches, nevertheless it didn't completely block out the pain when it lasted as long as this had.

Entering into Albus's office, Severus stopped momentarily at the sight of Moody and Draco sitting directly in front of the Headmaster's desk. Both wizards were sitting as far away from each other as physically possible, not at all hiding the disdain they shared for the other.

"Thank you for coming at such short notice, Severus," Albus said, welcoming the defense professor into the room. An extra chair was conjured in the large gap between Moody and Draco, which Severus naturally assumed was for himself.

"Of course Albus," he replied, taking his seat, "to what do I owe the pleasure?"

"We've completed the map of Malfoy Manor and would appreciate your unique skills to help determine the best course of action," the headmaster said gesturing to the large parchment laying on top of his desk.

Standing again, the former spy looked over the document. Everything appeared in place and he was proud of Draco for being able to provide this level of detail as well as collaborating with the likes of Moody. A quick glance over his shoulder proved that the latter must have been difficult to do.

"We need to time it appropriately so that there are as few guards as possible. If we try to penetrate with this level of protection it will be futile," Severus explained turning towards Draco. "I'd recommend an initiation if you can ascertain the approximate date of one in the near future."

"And what benefit does that give us?" Moody challenged not even attempting to hide his frustration.

The defense professor pinched the bridge of his nose trying to maintain his decorum in front of his employer and protégé, "For one, any Death Eater worth a damn will be required to attend an initiation leaving not only a skeleton crew guarding their Headquarters, but also a weaker crew. I guarantee that you would prefer to duel the likes of Pettigrew over Dolohov or Yaxley any day.

"For two, the Order is less likely to get involved in an initiation. Sure, with advanced knowledge we'll be able to patrol the higher priority muggle areas to try to protect the future victims-" Severus took note of Draco's sudden pallor. The teen would carry the memory of Charlie Weasley's death with him for the rest of his life; Severus could only hope it would weaken in time. "However, we won't be attempting to interfere with said initiation meaning that our team would not be split, as it would be if we attempted this on a common raid."

Albus was nodding his head throughout the explanation validating Severus's ideas against any of Moody's potential objections. Severus could not understand how even after he'd lost his spy status by publicly saving Harry's life at the Privet Drive attack, there was still so much doubt in his loyalties.

"Alastor," the headmaster called, "does that all sound acceptable to you?"

Moody stood and approached the map upon Albus's desk, trying not to stand too close to Severus, grumbling under his breath the entirety of the process.

"It's a logical, thought-out procedure," the man eventually said only marginally louder than his internal mumbles. "I'll start briefing my team. Theoretically, how much time would we have to prepare?"

The former spy thought back about the initiations he'd seen throughout his time as an active Death Eater.

"Anywhere from 3 days to a week," he replied confidently. No Death Eater was initiated before the Dark Lord had a chance to do some exploration into the recruit's background. After Severus's own recent - to the Dark Lord anyway - defection, that process would now be much more detailed than in the past.

"Severus, do you believe the hostages will hold on for that unknown amount of time; until an initiation takes place?"

It was a valid question. No one could know the next time the Dark Lord would initiate someone to his inner circle. Severus hated the idea of leaving the Smithe's locked away for another moment longer, yet it wouldn't do the mother or child any good if the rescue team perished in the process before getting to them in the first place. Ultimately, it was best to stay put until there were either less Death Eater activity or lower level Death Eaters protecting them; ideally both.

"They'll have to," the professor said gravely. "If they're being used to coerce Alton to provide information, they'll likely be kept alive for as long as he cooperates with the Dark Lord. If they're being used as a punishment, we may very well go in and find their cell empty.

"It is my belief that the latter has not yet occurred. Alton's disposition has most definitely changed since the kidnapping of his wife and daughter, however it has not been to the point to which one would expect from their deaths."

Unfortunately, Severus would know the minute the two were killed simply by Alton's behavior. Never would the professor imagine he would recognize the grief from the loss of a child in others as he knew he now could. It was true he'd never had a wife, and therefore he was unsure if his grief over Lily's death would be close to the grief Alton would feel over Sarah. If Mary had been killed though... That wound would be impossible to hide especially to those who knew what to look for.

"Thank you gentlemen," Albus announced to the three of them as their intended dismissal. "We shall wait to hear of the appropriate time to move. In the meantime, please prepare your respective teams so we can be ready to go at a moment's notice if need be."

Severus knew that last part was said for Moody's sake; that the former Auror would argue that we need to be prepared for anything, especially when depending on two supposedly former Death Eaters. It was as if the mark that he idiotically wanted placed on his left forearm would forever brand him untrustworthy no matter how much he tried to atone for that sin.

"Severus," the headmaster called as he was turning to leave, "please stay behind."

It was a cold request that chilled the professor to his core. He took his seat again and watched as Moody and Draco left the office without any hesitation.

"Lemon drop my boy?" Albus asked, holding out the small dish on his desk with the yellow sweets.

"Of course not," the defense professor answered, "what is this about?"

"Straight to the point I see," the headmaster replied, "I should hardly have expected any less.

"I've received several complaints regarding your neglect towards your Head of House duties."

Not surprising there.

"Let me guess," Severus responded calmly, "These complaints are from Crabbe and Goyle."

"Primarily so," Albus was seated behind his desk in a very formal manner, "however other parents have expressed dislike to several changes they've seen regarding your house policies."

"Such as?" If he was going to be reprimanded, he was determined to know exactly what he was being accused of.

"It's all very clandestine," Albus explained, "however I believe they're accusing you of targeting certain children, specifically in response to your new found loyalty to the Boy-Who-Lived... their words, Severus."

"And what is your opinion on the matter?" He wasn't about to show his severe dislike towards this conversation. How dare they make accusations such as these? Surely there had been plenty of complaints made by parents of students in the other houses about his behavior throughout the years, and yet now he was getting officially scolded.

Albus narrowed his blue eyes behind his half-moon spectacles. "On the record, I believe you have naturally been distracted with an ill child and pretending you can maintain the same level of support throughout the school is unnecessary. I stand by my word Severus, if you need to lighten your class load or take additional time off simply say the word."

The professor shook his head. He would handle whatever was sent his way.

"Please do remember my offer stands," Albus pointed out. "Now, off the record, it would be a very clever plan to attempt to draw you out of the safety of Hogwarts by using the children of Death Eaters against you. Given enough feedback, as Headmaster, I might be forced to take action; as I am tonight."

That sounded rather foreboding. What kind of action would Albus be forced to take? He was finally getting back to his classes and they were going well, worst case scenario would be he would lose his Head of House status, which would not be the end of the universe right now. He wouldn't deny that he had been less available to his students than in the past, as well as more fair in his punishments between the houses. In his old reality, that change had occurred gradually after the adoption, yet being placed directly in this reality it would be a shocking change of behavior for him. That was likely the best place to start.

"And how will you be handling the complaints?"

"Easy enough my boy," Albus was too light-hearted for this type of conversation for Severus's liking, "I will simply document our conversation and let the overly concerned parents be aware of such. I still believe you are the right professor for the post of Slytherin Head of House. Simply please do try to be more available to your students.

"Off the record, I suggest trying not to give anyone a reason to seek any disciplinary actions towards you. I am unsure what they are trying to achieve if they end up lobbying for your removal from the school, however it should not be taken lightly. This could be as simple as wanting the recognition of bringing in the traitor or the reasons could be more dangerous to either yourself or Harry."

"I don't particularly wish to find out which of those is correct," Severus replied, nodding his agreement.

Tonight he would need to go back through the memories of his counterpart here and try harder to blend the two personalities, if for no other reason than to protect Harry. It wouldn't matter how difficult it would be to make the adjustments, he would do what was necessary because he certainly could not protect the teen if he were removed from the school or even worse brought before the Dark Lord himself.