Today was going to be a big day, Julian could feel it. It had been nearly a month since he had been taken from his relatives house and brought to this incredible place. It was still hard for him to even think about how much things had changed for him in the past few days, let alone the past month.
He was finally starting to feel … normal. A normal he had never felt as Harry Potter, the freak under the stairs.
Sure there had been some setbacks, but even those were trivial compared to how bad they had been in the past. He would still get sick from time to time, though even those periods were lessening. His blood counts were much more stable than they had ever been since he became a vampire, and he was tolerating the nutrient potions his … father… was brewing for him.
That was the biggest thing he was struggling with: having a father.
He could tell the potions master wasn’t used to having a child, but he wasn’t used to having a father. It felt nice to have someone actually seeming to care about his well being as he had never had felt that before. However, he often found it to be rather overbearing. Severus had all sorts of monitoring spells set up to notify him of any changes. However, those changes included sitting on the edge of the bed. Or laying in bed with his feet above his head. Or getting too excited about the book he was reading.
These past few days had been different though. The term was coming to a close for the students and Severus had been busier than ever with trying to finish the last of his grading and paperwork. This left Julian with plenty of time to do whatever he could while confined to his bed.
He had read through almost all of the books on the bookshelf between their two beds, though he tended to stray away from the fiction books. They didn’t really hold his interest as well as the more technical books on the shelf did, but mostly because they required a base knowledge of the wizarding world in order to understand them. Potions was rapidly becoming his favorite topic to study, and not just because Severus enjoyed talking about them. They reminded him of cooking and chemistry all rolled into one.
But today he wasn’t going to be getting time to read. Yesterday, Madam Pomfrey said if his magic levels remained stable and he was able to tolerate running his tube feeding they would try something he hadn’t been able to do in many, many weeks.
Today he was going to try to stand, and possibly walk.
Moving around on the bed was getting easier for him and he was ever so thankful this bed didn’t make his bum sore if he laid or sat in one position too long. But bed mobility was still not mobility. And after finishing Hogwarts: A History, he wanted to be able to explore the castle on his own. He wanted to meet the ghosts and see the Quidditch pitch and go up to the top of the astronomy tower and look at the ceiling of the Great Hall.
But today, he wanted to make it to the windows in the infirmary so he could watch the students ride away in the horseless carriages as they went home.
Julian was trying to focus on reading through the first year potions book for a second time and keep his nerves about getting out of bed under wraps when he heard the lock to the door click open. He looked up hopefully, thinking it could possibly be Madam Pomfrey.
“Good morning, Julian,” Severus said as he stepped into the room and saw the boy awake and reading as usual.
“Good morning, sir,” Julian responded quietly. He was still unsure what to call the man as calling him ‘dad’ seemed almost disrespectful to his real father. And the more he was awake around the man, the more afraid he was that he was going to mess something up.
“I know Madam Pomfrey is planning on having you walk today, but I have a surprise for you which may make it a little easier for you to get around,” Severus said, pulling out a fist sized box from his pocket.
Julian looked down at it confused for a moment until Severus flicked his wand and the box resized to a normal crate size.
“You remember Mr. Malfoy coming to visit?” Severus asked. Julian had passed out shortly after Lucius left, so Severus didn’t even know if he could recall the visit. Since that visit, Severus had received several letters from the man inquiring about Julian and his health, sizing, and if any special alterations to his clothing was needed.
Julian nodded timidly. He vaguely remembered the blonde haired man coming into his room, but he had been on the verge of falling asleep at the time. He didn’t seem too mean, just … concerned. He had had an air about him though that made him seem very arrogant.
“Lucius, Mr. Malfoy, was kind enough to send you some new clothes as your old clothing was … sub-par. It didn’t fit you at all. I received this box today. Lucius said he also included a few books for you on vampires as a belated birthday gift, though I would like to check them for curses first as it is hard to come by some of these books from a safe bookstore.”
Julian looked at the box in awe. Someone sent him a present? A big present? He didn’t think even Dudley had ever gotten a box this big.
It was too much. Why would anyone want to spend so much on him? Even if it was only a few books, books were expensive. And new clothing was expensive too, especially if it didn’t come from a second hand store. And Mr. Malfoy didn’t seem like the kind of person to frequent the thrift store. Did wizards even have thrift stores?
He was scared to open it. What if it was just an empty box? Or a prank.
“Julian?” Severus said, concern leaking into his voice as the boy made no move to open the box.
Julian continued to stare at the box, trying to decide what to do before finally asking, “Is this a prank?”
“No Julian, it’s not a prank,” Severus said quietly. He understood that fear; opening a box and having nothing be there. “What if I open it?”
After thinking about it for a moment, Julian nodded. If there was only an old coat hanger or a 20 pence piece, at least he wouldn’t be the one to see it first. It was easier to have no hopes than to have those hopes high and have them be dashed.
With a flick of his wand, the top of the crate disappeared. Inside, Severus could see a wide range of robes, pants, trousers, socks, gloves, and shirts. There were even a few knit caps similar to the one Julian was always wearing to keep his ears warm. Severus picked one up and found it to have a permanent heating charm on it and was fleece lined.
He looked over at Julian, who was trying hard not to look. The child didn’t want to have his hopes dashed so badly he was looking completely away from the box.
Severus smiled gently and handed the boy one of the hats.
“Julian, try this on.”
Julian’s eyes flickered to the hat in Severus’s hand. It looked incredibly comfortable and warm. Gingerly, he reached out and took the hat, holding it as though it would bite him.
It was warm! He could feel the heat emanating from inside the hat. It didn’t take him long to rip off his old hat and slide the new one in place, sighing at the heat that wrapped its way around his ears. The hat itself was a dark emerald green and while it wasn’t overly thick in appearance, it was the warmest hat he had ever owned.
“This is for me?” he whispered, continuing to be shocked at the box before him.
“Yes,” Severus said softly. “This is all yours.”
Julian looked into the box and pulled out a warm looking wool sweater. He could feel a bit of warmth coming off this too. Setting it aside, he reached back in and grabbed a pair of socks. Warm. Boots: warm. Pants: warm.
“They’re all warm!” He said, excitedly.
Severus smiled at the boy’s enthusiasm. The books must be in the bottom of the crate.
“Are you sure they are all for me?” he said, mood dropping immediately.
Severus rolled his eyes. “Of course they are. You don’t see me wearing clothing this small, do you?”
“And his son won’t want them back?” Julian asked, still worried about the possibility of having to give them up.
“Draco isn’t small enough to wear these either, Julian,” Severus said quietly. Julian had never been sensitive about his size, but he had likely not been around many people his own age for a very long time. Even if other 11 year-olds were his height, he was still extremely underweight.
“Are you sure?”
“Extremely. You’ll meet Draco soon enough. He is thin, but quite tall,” Severus stretched the truth slightly. Draco’s height was average at best, but he would still tower over Julian even if he slouched. “Now let's get you dressed.”
“Do they need to be washed?” Julian asked, making no move to put any of the clothing on.
“Bespoke clothing comes pre-laundered, Julian,” Severus said, continuing to remove items from the box and placing them on the end of the bed. “What would you like to wear?”
Julian watched in horror as the mound of clothing at the end of his bed coming from the box grew. All of these were for him? Why would he need so many clothes? Why would anyone need this many clothes? A jumper and trousers would have been enough, but no there were at least eight jumpers on his bed by the time Severus had removed all of the clothing from the box. There were also several robes of varying dark colors that reminded him of the robes Severus wore.
“Sir?” Julian said, panic creeping into his voice. “Sir this is too much!”
“Julian, it's fine. These are all yours. Do you not know what to pick?” Severus said, watching the boy’s eyes jump around as he looked at all of the clothing.
Julian shook his head. At the Dursley’s, he was always hearing Aunt Petunia making snide comments about how people dressed. He had never had to worry about it before, and now was worried he would look absurd.
Severus sighed. As if the physical health difficulties were difficult enough, the boy was starting to show the stress of being in a new environment. In some ways it was a good sign. The boy was awake enough to begin to process everything going on around him.
“Here,” he said, handing the child a simple pair of grey pants and black trousers. “Would you like help getting these on?”
Julian nodded. Just the idea of trying to pull his pants up was intimidating. It always took a lot of effort to lift his hips off the bed and standing was … shaky at best. And that was before spending over a month on bedrest. He was not expecting the pants and trousers to suddenly appear on him, nor was he expecting them to immediately shrink to fit around his waist properly.
Severus smirked at the boy’s expression and silently thanked Lucius for getting the clothing spelled to automatically adjust to the child’s size. It seemed Narcissa may have had a say in the clothing purchases as well, as the clothing all matched and would look good no matter what pairing was put together. Severus had never been great at creating clothing combinations that matched, and was thankful for this extra thought put in to make his life easier.
“Any preference on shirt?” He asked, looking at the piles of shirts and jumpers.
Julian was still looking at the trousers in shock, but shook his head. The trousers were higher waisted than he was used to, but they were surprisingly comfortable. He was a bit worried about the shirt though. Since his stomach had started to wake up and he was getting the nutrient potion, he was starting to notice a bit more drainage from around his tube. He wasn’t keen on the idea of getting it on the new shirts.
Severus grabbed a jumper which matched the new hat Julian was wearing and was surprised when a small ring of matching fabric fell out of the folds.
“What is this?” He muttered to himself holding it up.
Julian looked up, and immediately smiled. He knew exactly what it was and held out his hand. He had always wanted one of these, they looked so much more comfortable than using gauze.
Severus handed it over, still confused as to what the doughnut of fabric was for until Julian undid the small button on the side of it and slipped it under and around the feeding tube on his stomach.
He had explained in great detail to Lucius that a feeding tube had been inserted into Julian’s stomach while he was in hospital and it occasionally leaked. The man had kept asking about Julian’s health needs and modifications needed to the clothing. Severus knew he was more concerned about spells to prevent sun related problems, but those spells were easy enough for Severus to apply. The feeding tube, on the other hand, was far more prone to getting stuck on and in clothing.
They had tried simply covering it with a gauze pad, but that made it difficult to access. Sticking spells were great too, but they would frequently kink the tube if too much was stuck down or leave a loop in the tubing that could easily get pulled if too little was adhered. The clothing had to be made to accommodate the tubing being there, had to make it easy to access, and had to keep the tube securely in place.
It was crucial to keep the tube in place until he was able to feed enough to no longer require it. If that tube was lost, they had no way to get him the nutrients he needed. While his intestines were moving (albeit extremely slowly) his stomach had yet to have the strength to move things along. They had tried small amounts of warm water or nutrient potion, but several hours later they would find him violently vomiting into the trash can.
The seamstress must have done her research to figure out anything about feeding tubes.
Julian quickly pulled the dark green jumper over his head, immediately relishing in the warmth that encased his torso. While he wasn’t nearly as freezing cold as he had been, he still couldn’t get warm easily.
Severus smiled slightly at the boy on the bed in front of him before spelling all of the clothing into the drawers under the bed, making sure to leave out a pair of socks and the boots.
“What?” Julian said, rather self-consciously as Severus smirked.
“You look like a Slytherin,” he said proudly. “If anyone were to see you, there would be no doubt in their mind who you belonged to.”
Julian blushed and ducked his head.
A knock at the door sent both men’s heads flying up. It was time.
“You ready?” Severus said, spelling the boots and socks onto the boys feet and helping him sit on the side of the bed as Madam Pomfrey came bustling in.
“Oh, good! You’re dressed!” she said as she puttered around the room, making sure there were not going to be any trip hazards on the floor. “You look lovely dear.”
Julian blushed, but sat up a little taller.
“How long have you been sitting for?” she asked, looking at Severus sitting next to him.
“Just sat up,” Julian said, knowing she would check him over before allowing him to walk at all.
She let him sit for a few minutes while she and Severus talked about summer plans. Occasionally, Julian could see her flick her wand at him and he watched as the numbers over his head changed. His heart rate was staying stable and his blood pressure wasn’t plummeting, so after a few minutes, the decision was made.
It was time to stand up.
The floor suddenly seemed a long way down.
Gently, Severus helped lower the boy down so his feet were on the ground. The child's knees immediately started quivering as he held his own weight for the first time in over a month.
“How does it feel?” Poppy asked.
“Shaky,” Julian said, feeling like he was hanging onto Severus for dear life. “Really shaky.”
“Do you feel light headed?” Poppy asked, flicking her wand once more and looking at the vital signs floating above his head. Heart rate was up, but not worryingly so.
“Do you need to sit?” Severus asked, feeling the boy’s hands tighten around his sleeve.
“Not yet,” Julian said, trying very hard to stand up without hanging onto Severus’s arm. Every time he went to let go, he could feel his knees buckle.
Suddenly, his knees couldn’t take it any more and slammed together. If Severus hadn’t been there, he most certainly would have hit the floor. He had never gotten this weak before, but then again, he had very nearly died.
Severus lifted the now panting child back on the bed. “You did well, Julian.”
Julian just sat there and caught his breath. He most certainly did not do “well,” quite the opposite in fact. He could barely stand for two minutes! He had really been hoping to get to watch the students go home, but that seemed like a pipe dream now.
Severus watched as the boy’s eyes filled with tears. Julian had been so calm about most everything, but this pushed him over the edge.
“Julian, what’s wrong?” he asked quietly. “Are you in pain?”
Julian shook his head and tried to wipe away his tears with his sleeve, only to find that more appeared.
“I just… I dunno… I thought…” he started, stumbling through the words trying to find the best explanation. “I thought I could make it to the windows.”
“You want to go to the windows? In the infirmary?” Severus asked, pulling out a handkerchief to give the child.
“Thought I could walk there. I wanted to watch the students go home. I wanted to see the carriages,” he admitted, cheeks turning bright red. There was no way they would let him do that. They would want him to get back into bed.
“I think that can be arranged,” Severus said. “Poppy, a word?”
Poppy looked at him rather confused, but stepped into the corner of the room with him and through the quick silencing spell he had thrown up.
“Do you think he’s stable enough to go outside?”
“I don’t see why not. He would either have to be levitated or carried down. And it’s quite overcast today. He’ll need a cloak though. And no more than 20 minutes. And spell your watch to read his vital signs and magic levels.”
Severus nodded. It would do the boy some good to get out of the room, even for a little bit. He was weak, yes, but more stable than he had been in a long time. A few quick spells and Severus’s watch was showing a continuous reading of Julian’s vital signs.
Dropping the silencing spell, Severus looked over at the child who was looking at them sadly.
“The carriages don’t leave for another half hour,” Poppy said, smiling. “How about we do some leg exercises and stretch out your muscles a little, then you can go watch them leave.”
Immediately, Julian’s face lit up. They were going to let him out of the bedroom? He was going to get to watch the carriages go? It would be so nice to finally get out of the room!
Severus smirked at the matron, knowing she had deliberately left out the ‘going outside’ part. Julian deserved a happy surprise from time to time.
Gift of Warmth