Harry plopped down on the ground with a groan. His legs were getting tired from standing for hours. He pressed his aching palms in the snow, the cold felt soothing on the burned flesh.
“This could work, Potter.” Snape said.
Harry looked up at him. The man looked more frightening from Harry's position down on the ground, he thought about standing up so he wouldn't feel so small next to the man but quickly discarded the idea, he was too tired for that.
“Yeah, maybe, but it’s taking too long and we don't know how much time we have. What happens when we don’t have any memories left? Does it start all over again? or.. or.. I don’t know.. maybe we die or maybe we don't even get to the end, just die of starvation or something?.” Harry said pulling at his hair in frustration.
“Starvation could take days, Potter. Hypothermia is more plausible at this point.” Snape replied.
“Hypothermia… well that's good. Starvation sounds too boring anyway.” Harry said sarcastically.
He quickly got to his feet when the next memory started to play.
“No” he breathed, when he realized that they were standing in a graveyard.
“No, no n…no, it’s too so… what…” he backed away, desperately trying to get away from what he knew was about to happen. He felt an intense pain in his chest like he was having a heart attack. His throat was closing up, windpipe burning with each breath.
“Potter?.” Snape questioned next to him.
The skies were getting darker. Harry hadn't even noticed that the sun was shining in the sky until it was gone. Pettigrew was walking towards them between the graves, carrying a bundle of robes, which Harry now knew was Voldemort. He watched helplessly as Cedric and his younger self lowered their wands, not realising that they were in danger. Harry wished he wasn’t so stupid back then, wished he hadn't lowered his guard down around the man that had helped kill his parents. Who later killed Cedric.
As the man drew closer Harry’s scar exploded with an intense pain. He grabbed his head with both hands. A few steps away from him another Harry, the one from the memory was knelt on the ground clutching at his own head.
“Potter!” Snape shouted. Harry looked at him, his usually stoic face looked very expressive. “Potter, think about the day you learned that you are a wizard.”
That's when he heard a cold yet breathy voice say. “Kill the spare.”
“No!” Harry shouted, rushing towards Pettigrew, even though he knew that it wasn't really happening, that he couldn’t save Cedric.
A swishing voice cut through the air. Pettigrew flicked his wand. “Avad-”
“No! STOP!” Harry shouted growing more frustrated and angry at his own helplessness. He felt a burst of magic flowing through his whole body and than being released around him. The memory started flickering, the ground shaking beneath them. He could here a distant sound of cracking glass.
“Potter! Potter, stop!” Snape shouted, coming towards Harry. But Harry ignored him, and just kept screaming at the top of his lungs. He didn’t even remember when he started screaming, but, now that he had started he couldn’t stop, he let out all of his anger through his scream and his magic. He could barely feel the tears trickling down his face. Snape's voice was growing distant, Harry couldn’t even make out the words anymore. But he felt it when Snape grabbed him by the shoulder and shook him hard enough that Harry’s teeth rattled.
“Look around Potter!” Snape said, still holding Harry’s shoulder.
Harry looked around, as much as he could with the way Snape was holding him. The graveyard was gone, they were now standing on the snow covered ground. The walls of the globe that used to be invisible now had cracks on it. He looked up, the glass beyond the sky was cracking too.
“What… I.. am I doing that?” Harry asked, feeling a little foggy.
Snape let go off him and straightened. “Yes, Potter. You are doing it. You need to stop before you break the globe.”
Harry glanced around quickly, then raised his hands and concentrated on doing whatever he was doing. Even though it was accidental magic and he didn’t know how to keep it up. “Why do I need to stop? If the globe breaks, we would be out of it!”
“Perhaps. But we don’t know that for sure. We have to be certain about it before doing anything. And anyway, you can’t keep at it. You seem to have exhausted yourself by expelling so much of your magic.” Snape said.
As if on cue Harry staggered, feeling drained. He sank down to the ground. But he wasn’t sure if it was because of using too much magic. It had been happening all summer, every time he thought about Cedric. About what happened at the graveyard. He would have this intense pain in his chest, heart thudding against his ribs and his throat would close up like his windpipe was getting narrower. At times he felt like he was having a heart attack. And then he would be drained off energy.
“Are you feeling alright, Potter?” Snape asked.
Harry looked up at him. Snape was watching him strangely. Harry frowned and then groaned internally, rubbing at his eyes. He had once again cried in front of Snape. He couldn’t wait to get out of the stupid globe.
“Why did the globe show my memory? It was your turn.” Harry asked, ignoring the man's question.
“It didn’t. It was my memory. You changed it during your… panic attack.” Snape replied.
“ Oh, I.. I didn’t realise.” Harry said.
“Since when are you having these panic attacks?” Snape asked.
Harry just shrugged. He didn’t feel like talking about it. Though it was good to know what the episodes he was having was called. At least he wasn’t having a heart attack. Thankfully, Snape changed the subject.
“Hmm, you had a headache in the dark lord's presence.”
“Yeah, I always do.” He said, shrugging again.
Chapter 10