Amidst a Field of Lavender by WiCeBa

Severus couldn’t wait for this weekend to be over.

He made a note in the margin of his book, but scratched it out after realizing he’d miscalculated several equations. This weekend was taking a toll on his mental acuity.

“It certainly is lovely,” Mrs Weasley’s grating voice chimed as she clicked her knitting needles together. “You, spending the weekend with us.”

He looked up in time to watch her give a forced smile.

Pale purple flowers climbed over the arms and backing of the fainting couch, magnifying Mrs Weasley’s apparent simpering. Severus couldn’t imagine a more appropriate flower for her to seat herself upon.

‘Lavender,’ Lily’s wry smile blinked in the back of his mind. ‘For distrust.’

Severus hummed and flipped the page. Harry would likely prefer returning to Germany later, rather than sooner, despite how eager Severus was to leave. Mother was eager to have the two back as well.

“I’m sure it’s a handful, traveling back and forth with a child. Nurturing one in your own home is no easy feat, but at another’s?” Mrs Weasley hummed a sympathetic note. “Especially so when Harry’s moved around quite a bit recently.” Her eyebrows rose as if to punctuate her sentence before smiling. “Though six, well, six is such a sweet age. He’s still your friend then, isn’t he?”

Severus wondered if he might escape this conversation and disappear to the cellar, but Mother had warned him that Mrs Weasley might follow after him. Apparently, Severus needed to prove himself trustworthy, despite her having no business in his affairs. This interview felt ridiculous.

She didn’t trust him because he spied for a living. It wasn’t a leap to guess at why she was unwilling to warmly accept him. If she had, he’d have to investigate why she was so willing to trust a servant of the Dark Lord. Blatant dislike was far more preferable than pretend flattery.

False friends only exhausted all involved.

“How is he then, the dear?” Mrs Weasley asked. “He was so pale when we saw him last.” Her eyes darkened and Severus caught a flash of the disastrous argument between herself and Dumbledore through legilimency.

“Harry is very healthy, despite the obvious issues.” Severus said.

Mrs Weasley clicked her tongue. “Healthy in every way, then? You don’t need any help?”

“As healthy as he can be at present.” Severus said as he frustratedly crossed out another botched equation. “Has he given you any indication otherwise?”

Mrs Weasley’s eyes narrowed, but flickered away before Severus could spy anything valuable.

“I heard a noise last night.” She said. “A scream, I think. I had thought it might be Ginny.” She continued clicking her needles together and the beginning of what Severus guessed was a long scarlet scarf, seemed to take shape. “But then, Ginny hasn’t had nightmares for a year or so now. Clever girl, she’s moved past her fear.”

Severus frowned.

“Harry though, the poor dear, hasn’t.” She said with a pointed stare. A faint touch whispered over the barrier around Severus’s mind, seeming to warn him against using legilimency again.

“It’s been nearly three months. Two of which were spent incurring further damage.” Severus said softly. Harry hadn’t had a moment where he’d felt safe enough to rationalize his experiences. How could he with Dumbledore, Tuney, and Avery all converging on him at once. He’d escaped from one dangerous event to the next and shoved his fear to the furthest corner in his mind afterwards, and that, Severus knew personally, was a recipe for disaster. “He’s still healing.”

“I’ve no doubt he’ll be healing for a while.” She blinked back at her scarf. “Trauma like that doesn't go away quickly.”

Severus didn’t disagree. If he thought on the topic for too long, he’d wind up drinking his memories away. His stock of Ogden’s finest was less appealing with Harry present. There wasn’t much he wanted to have in common with Tobias or Tuney’s vile husband, and even though Harry hadn’t had a tremendously bad reaction to Severus’s last urge to drink, he wasn’t interested in creating a recurring issue.

He looked back at his page and debated the different reactions that inducing heat before adding lacewing flies would cause.

Mrs Weasley hummed. “What do you think?” She asked as she held up the scarf. “I can’t decide if I want to add in an extra colour. It’s for Percy, you see.”

Severus didn’t.

“He’s gone and made himself quite prominent within the Ministry.”

That, Severus had known. Percy Weasley was a beaurocrat with the brownest nose Severus had ever seen. He’d heard one of her sons moaning over his apparent love of the Minister, among other high ranking officials.

“A Weasley of some repute, my son.” She gave a gentle laugh. “Percy always appreciated order. I’ll tell you, I once found him in the garden with a measuring tape. He was going around and ensuring Ron and Ginny were tossing a particularly pesky infestation of garden gnomes the appropriate distance away.”

Severus dearly hoped she didn’t see him as someone she could lecture, no matter how carefully she’d chosen to go about it. He could feel himself drifting off out of boredom. If he wasn’t sure she’d make a quip or judgement about his ability to care for Harry, he’d have already tuned her out.

“Well, safe to say Ginny found that behaviour rather intolerable. Ron did as well, but if anyone will pick a fight among mine, it’s Ginny.”

“Riveting.” Severus said.

“Isn’t it.” She smiled kindly. “He managed to put that love for order and organization to good use. I used to wish Fred and George would follow in his footsteps, but if they had, then I’d have three sons who found their family inappropriate, wouldn’t I?”

Severus blinked up and caught Mrs Weasley’s eyes drilling into his.

“Hearing my son speak of myself and husband, of his siblings in that way,” She pressed her hand to her chest. “It’s heartbreaking.”

She returned to her knitting. The needles seemed to click louder than before.

“He has to find his path somehow though.”

Severus raised an eyebrow and thumbed the corner edge of the page.

“You might ask if I feel he’ll come back one day.” She leant forward. “Or if he’s more the stubborn type. I wouldn’t fault you for thinking he’s stubborn either, not when you’ve educated the lot of them.”

He hadn’t known about Percy Weasley’s abandonment of his family. He knew there was some sort of strain, but aside from bypassing their hissed arguments, he’d thought it was petty and of no real importance. He could guess at why she told him this story.

There was a notorious reputation attached to Severus’s name. Harry might one day come to despise Severus for it, among his many other crimes.

Harry may one day despise him so much that he’d run as far from Severus as he could.

Severus could honestly say that in the past, he’d hoped for that reaction. He couldn’t guess at how he’d feel if Harry left now, not after the change in dynamic they’d had.

“He’s a good boy.” Mrs Weasley continued. “Just misguided.”

Ash coated Severus’s mouth at the word ‘misguided’. He didn’t much care for Molly Weasley’s good opinion, nor for her anecdotes, but her inquisition was dredging up swallowed failures. ‘Misguided’ had followed Severus around from Hogwarts and beyond. He’d been misguided since he could remember. Mother had never failed to excuse what Severus refused to apologize for as ‘misguided’. He’d created disastrous friendships in his youth in search of belonging, he’d begged to become a Death Eater just to prove himself. He’d destroyed his only true friendship in that attempt as well.

Severus had been misguided. It was no secret.

He knew he couldn’t keep Harry from being misguided. The very idea was distasteful to consider and the act of forcibly establishing control over Harry reminded him too much of Tuney or Dumbledore. Harry had no need of people who only wanted to exert further control.

Harry wouldn’t fall into misguided disaster as Severus had though. He had Severus and good friends. While Severus didn’t particularly like Harry’s friends, they weren’t like the vile sort of manipulators Severus had formed friendships with when at Hogwarts.

If her story meant to draw parallels between Percy Weasley and Harry, she’d failed. Harry hadn’t run from his family as Percy had. No one in Harry’s close group had been forced away by Severus’s appearance either, which is necessary for a misguided child. They needed to be surrounded only by the opinions of those they looked up to if they were going to be encouraged to leave their families. If Severus had limited Harry’s time with his friends and loved ones, Mrs Weasley may have had a proper argument, but he hadn’t.

He schooled his face to be as bland as he could make it.

“Mrs Weasley—”

He stopped short at the flash of blue to his left and twisted, spotting Harry slowly inching closer to the door frame.

Harry tossed a nervous look between Mrs Weasley and Severus.

“Erm.”

“Harry dear,” Mrs Weasley started, smiling genuinely. “Did you need something? It’s quite close to lunch, isn’t it?” Her eyes flickered toward the brass grandfather clock in the corner.

Harry shook his head ‘no’. “I just wanted to, erm, see Snape.”

Severus sat straighter and reached a hand out toward him. Something perilously fond trickled through him as Harry rushed closer and unknowingly soothed the irritation Mrs Weasley had brought about. Harry felt safe in his presence and he wasn’t misguided. He felt comfortable enough to express his emotions without worrying about judgement, though, Severus spied Harry’s insecurity quickly snapping into place when Mrs Weasley’s knitting needles returned to clicking quietly.

“Are your friends otherwise engaged?” Severus asked as Harry leant into the couch Severus sat on.

Harry’s eyes flickered to his right as if to check on Mrs Weasley again and Severus wondered if he should take their conversation into the kitchen. He’d rather Harry felt safe enough to speak freely. He had a feeling though, that Harry was as well aware of Mrs Weasley’s dislike of Severus as Severus was. She’d probably follow the two into the kitchen if they did leave, claiming preparing lunch as an excuse.

“They’re arguing. Hermione wants to go over our Herbology essays and Ron wants to go exploring.” Harry said as he sniffed and looked at the antiques along the shelves. “They’ll probably be at it for a while.”

Mrs Weasley made a small, frustrated noise.

“And your godfather?” Severus asked.

Harry twisted back toward him and shook his head again. “He’s having a, erm, a rough afternoon?” He added, seeming unsure of his own comment. “Lupin said he needed some time to go through his thoughts.”

Severus nodded. In spite of Black’s episodic breakdowns being managed, Severus didn’t feel comfortable leaving Harry alone with him. Harry was well aware of the requirement that Lupin be present, or at least within shouting distance, should he like to be with his godfather. Black wasn’t pleased with that stipulation, but he’d agreed.

After kidnapping Harry and hiding him in a safe house, neither Lupin nor Severus felt comfortable with Black’s snap judgments.

“What are you doing?” Harry asked.

“Reading.” Severus answered as he held the text up. “Did you want to join?” He asked.

Harry seemed to force himself to continue watching Severus, rather than twist and see how Mrs Weasley had reacted.

If Severus were honest, he’d admit to being curious as to how Harry would respond. He’d been shy around the Weasley’s when it came to physical affection, though when they encouraged it, he’d readily accepted. He clearly enjoyed Mrs Weasley’s hugs and his friend’s carefree affection. As it stood, Harry rarely wanted his friends to see himself enjoying comfort. Severus’s mother had been the only one Harry could easily allow to witness the small moments. That was likely because she’d met him directly after Avery’s attempted kidnapping, and therefore couldn’t think Harry’s behaviour odd, as he’d drastically needed care.

Severus wondered if Harry worried he’d be mocked. It wasn’t out of the realm of possibility. The Dursley’s had burned away most of Harry’s willingness to reach out and ask for what he wanted.

The clicking knitting needles faltered as Harry clambered onto the couch and crawled across Severus’s lap. He made short work of arranging himself comfortably and dropped his head against Severus’s chest before clutching Lily’s necklace close. If Severus were less aware of his usual body language, he’d likely have missed the rigid anxiety thrumming through him.

He flicked to the next page and brushed a hand through Harry’s fringe.

“I’ll get us some tea.” Mrs Weasley said as she slipped from the room. Her soft footsteps brushed down the short hallway and trailed off quietly.

Harry’s tension loosened and he relaxed fully against Severus.

“We don’t have to stay here if you’re ready to leave.” Severus said. “If you’d rather explore some of London, we can do that. Mother requested a few groceries upon our return.”

Harry let the necklace drop back beneath his shirt. “I like spending time with them. I just don’t like being six.” He whispered. “What if they think I’m-I’m, weird.”

He paused and gave a frustrated huff.

Severus hummed.

“I believe potion incidents have occurred before with your friends, have they not?” He asked.

Harry blinked up at him in confusion before his eyes widened.

“You knew about that?”

“A failed polyjuice potion would require some assistance from a potion’s master, don’t you think? She’d turned herself into a cat.”

“But!” Harry started. “You never said anything!”

“I had no objective proof she’d intentionally dosed herself and Madam Pomfrey is bound by patient confidentiality. Despite what I could guess, I could not prove it. Regardless,” Severus continued. “Neither you nor Mr Weasley regarded Miss Granger as any less for coughing up hairballs. In fact, if my memory stands, the two of you stole tuna sandwiches from the Great Hall for her multiple times.”

Harry nodded slowly.

“You didn’t think she would remain a cat forever, nor did you mock her for occasionally enjoying the feeling of her ears being scratched or enjoying laying in the sun.”

“Well, I guess, but—”

“You opened the shades on the windows wider so she had more sunlight to bask in.”

Severus distinctly remembered finding Miss Granger nearly asleep and flat on the floor in the Hospital Wing. The drapes had been pulled wide and stuck to the window frames with a few poorly cast sticking charms, which meant Poppy couldn’t have been the one to tie them back.

Mrs Weasley returned with a tea tray and a flushed and frustrated looking Miss Granger.

“Just have a cup dear, Ron will come around eventually. You know what he’s like.” Mrs Weasley said as she waved her hand at her son’s antics. “He just needs to sort it out.”

“We don’t have very many weeks left to sort it out.” Miss Granger said darkly before turning and spotting Severus and Harry. Her eyes widened almost comically large and the angry flush staining her cheeks drained in seconds.

Harry tensed.

Severus wondered if he disliked her seeing him cuddling or disliked her guessing that he’d come looking for comfort because of the argument between herself and Mr Weasley.

“Are you both reading too?” She asked brightly. “I’ll go get my book and join you.”

She darted from the sitting room and her quick footsteps pounded up the stairs.

“I’m sure that’ll solve their argument.” Mrs Weasley said as she prepared a cup. “Though I doubt it’ll stall them for long. I have half a mind to go pick up a few board games from The Burrow. I’m not entirely sure if we have any complete sets anymore. I think Charlie and Ginny made an art project using most of the tokens.” She added before returning to her knitting.

Miss Granger reappeared, this time with several books and Mr Weasley in tow.

If Mr Weasley’s pink ears were anything to go by, she’d readdressed their argument, though it still looked unresolved. He didn’t make any remarks and seemed determined to keep his eyes as far from Severus as possible.

Severus quite appreciated it.

Harry cuddled closer and Severus wondered if he couldn’t decide how to handle his friends setting aside their argument. Severus had never bothered to observe Harry’s friendships beforehand, but he was aware of the gossip at Hogwarts. Miss Granger and Mr Weasley fought like cats and dogs.

“Professor,” Miss Granger began. “Is informing us of upcoming readings considered cheating?”

Severus flipped the page and Harry relaxed again, seeming to find this question safe.

“No. I don’t have lesson plans with me currently and as such, am unable to assist you aside from what I remember.” He answered. Fifth year potions hadn’t changed drastically in the last few years, but Severus hadn’t memorized the readings. Miss Granger would likely prefer details to vague guesses.

She hummed in response and turned back to her book.

Severus was almost pleasantly surprised to find that the five of them were able to pass the next hour in relative peace. Beyond pages turning and muttered questions, they’d managed to be almost hospitable.

So much so that Mr Weasley looked to be drifting off and Harry had fallen asleep.

He half wondered if they should be woken and encouraged to do something more stimulating, but he far preferred the peace. He supposed Harry needed a bit more sleep as well. The last few nights hadn’t gone well for him and they’d often needed to spend more time calming down than actually sleeping.

Occlumency was helping, but it wasn’t an instant cure.

Harry snuffled and he pressed closer into Severus’s chest.

An impossibly soft touch brushed over Severus’s mind again and this time he blinked up and stared pointedly at Mrs Weasley.

She met his gaze head on. Her knitting needles continued to click rhythmically, keeping Miss Granger from thinking anything had changed. Severus didn’t need legilimency to see that her mistrust hadn’t disappeared in the last hour. Why would it have?

After a long moment she sighed and shook her head.

“Come along you two,” She said as she stood and shook her son from his stupor. “I think it’s time we have some lunch. Perhaps we’ll tackle the drawing room on the second floor afterwards.”

“Ugh, Mum!” Mr Weasley whinged as he climbed to his feet. “We’re still visiting, you promised—”

Mrs Weasley huffed and opened her mouth as if to argue back, but paused and breathed deeply instead. Her eyes landed on Severus again, though this time there were no questions lingering behind them.

“You’re right. I’m sorry, dear.” She said before patting her son’s cheek. “Severus, perhaps you’d like to wake Harry. I’m not sure he’ll sleep well at night if sleeps the day away.”

Severus could see her logic.

He quietly shut his book and sat up, helping tilt Harry gently upward as his friends stepped from the room.

“Wassit?” Harry mumbled as he dropped his head over Severus’s shoulder.

“I believe it’s lunch time.” Severus answered as rubbed a hand over Harry’s back and stood. “And your friends expressed an interest in visiting with you a bit more before we leave today.”

Harry sniffled and rubbed the sleep from eyes. “Oh, they do?”

“Yes, Mr Weasley made an impassioned plea for you and your friends to avoid some dusting.”

Harry snickered as Snape carried him into the kitchen.

“Ah,” Mrs Weasley said as she smiled at Harry. “Awake at last. Any opinions on what you’d like to eat? Ron’s voted for chicken salad sandwiches.”

“I think I’d like some soup,” Miss Granger hummed as she looked through the ice box.

If Severus had to make a judgment about the last few hours, he thought he could say confidently that Harry felt a bit more comfortable. He’d seen that his friends weren’t judging him unfairly, rather, they’d been quite willing to do whatever Harry needed.

Mrs Weasley would remain a difficult person to negotiate with. She communicated her mistrust, but she wasn’t willing to sacrifice her children's happiness because of her own opinions.

Severus could work with that.