“I’m telling you, my aunt and uncle never saw it coming. I never even saw it coming - I didn’t know magic could manifest so late.” Harry told Ron and Hermione quietly as they sat together in a compartment on the Hogwarts Express. 

“So he had a bit of accidental magic and then what? He suddenly got his Hogwarts letter? He’s thirteen!” Ron questioned, stealing a glance towards the sleeping professor in their compartment to see if he was disturbing the man, “What did your aunt and uncle do?”

“Should we invite him to come sit with us?” Hermione asked, glancing towards the doorway, “I know the two of you don’t get on, but I imagine he’s probably scared right now.”

Harry and Ron both gave Hermione an incredulous look, and she turned away with a huff of annoyance. Harry turned his attention to Ron, answering, “Dumbledore reckons his magic didn’t manifest normally because he and his parents were so against anything out of the ordinary. Once he got past that mental block, he was able to access his magical core. Uncle Vernon was so angry that he had to leave the house for several days just so he wouldn’t do something he’d regret. Aunt Petunia seemed sad. I half-expected them to start treating him differently, but apparently having magic is acceptable when you’re Dudley.” 

“How did he take it?”

“Dunno - he wouldn’t talk to me about it.” Harry made a face, his side still sore where Dudley had punched him when Harry had dared ask about Dudley’s magic the previous weekend. “Professor Dumbledore came round to explain everything to my aunt and uncle, but he didn’t take us to Diagon Alley, Professor McGonagall did. I don’t think she was impressed by the way he had a fit over not being able to buy everything he wanted; she made him stick to the list. And when she told him he’d have extra lessons to help him catch up on everything we learned in first and second year, he knocked over a display at Flourish and Blotts. She was so mad, she told him that if he did anything like that again she’d have him serving detention on day one.” 

Ron grinned, freckles dark on his tanned face. He’d spent the summer away and hadn’t learned of this new development until they were getting to the train and Vernon and Petunia had accompanied Harry and his cousin on the platform. He’d instantly recognized them from the previous summer, where he and the twins had rescued Harry from his bedroom-prison, and had been full of questions. 

“I still think you should invite him to join us. The other students may bully him.”

“Good.” Harry and Ron said in unison, and Harry was lost in thought for a moment as he imagined a world where he had friends and Dudley did not, as opposed to primary school where the opposite was true. 

“Honestly, you two can be so mean.” Hermione sighed, “Even if he’s not very nice, he doesn’t deserve to be harassed before he’s even had a chance to get to school and fall in love with magic.” 

“We’re mean?” Harry asked, his voice raising slightly as he became defensive, “He’s been nothing but mean to me my entire life. That would be like saying that Malfoy and his goons had a falling out so we were going to invite him to ride with us. It would do us more harm than it would do Dudley good, trust me. You just don’t know, you’ve never experienced him.”

As if she’d summoned him, the compartment door opened and Dudley stood in the entry way, his wide bottom barely fitting through the door arch. 

“There’s a lady with a trolley who is selling sweets.” Dudley told his cousin, ignoring his friends completely, “But I dunno what all of the sweets are. I don’t want to look stupid in front of the others, so you’re going to tell me what to buy.”

“You’ve got all of the money we switched over at Gringotts? Buy some of everything and then share it with the people you’re riding with. It may help you make friends.” Harry replied logically, “It can be lonely at school if you don’t have any mates. Who are you sitting with, anyway?”

“I don’t remember all their names.” Dudley replied, “And I’m not going to share with them. This is my money. They can buy their own treats.”

“Oh alright, then, I’ll come with you.” Harry sighed, standing and crossing over the compartment, “I’ll be right back, guys. Want anything from the trolley?”

Ron reached in his pocket, but Harry waved him off, “Chocolate frogs, mate?”

“And treacle fudge?” Ron asked, hopefully. 

Harry nodded, then turned to Hermione, “Anything for you?” 

“Just a pumpkin juice, if you don’t mind.” Hermione answered, also reaching into her pocket for money, only for Harry to roll his eyes and walk out before she had a chance to grab a single knut. 

Harry followed Dudley down the hall, awkwardly asking, “How’s it going?”

“Found some others who absolutely hate you.” Dudley commented, though the malice his voice usually held wasn’t as strong as it was back on Privet Drive, “Dunno what you did to make those blokes so bitter, but I had to promise I hated you too just to be allowed to stick around once they learnt I was your cousin.” 

“Slytherins, then.” Harry muttered, “The feeling’s mutual.” 

They approached the trolley, and Harry quickly explained the different sweets that Dudley wouldn’t recognize, trying to give him a muggle sweets association to help him figure out what he wanted. Soon, Dudley had purchased a stack of treats and disappeared back into his compartment. 

As Harry purchased a few items for himself and his friends, he glanced into the compartment Dudley had entered. Just as he thought, it was full of Slytherins. He was a bit surprised; Dudley was muggleborn after all. He supposed that Malfoy and his mates probably thought they could suffer through associating with a muggleborn if it meant they could get more information to use against Harry. He could only hope that Dudley would keep his mouth shut about what life was like at the Dursleys and stick to other less embarrassing tidbits of Harry’s past. 

“What are you staring at, Potter?” Malfoy spat out as he spotted Harry looking at the group, “Jealous that you’re stuck with the mudblood and the weasel instead of spending time with more cultured wizards?”

Harry didn’t miss a beat, and replied, “No, I was just wondering what made you decide to change your hair.” 

A subtle flick of the wand and a murmured incantation as he walked away instantly changed Draco’s hair from blonde to pink, and he hurried back to his own compartment to avoid retaliation as the Slytherin compartment erupted in chaos. 

He sat down and handed Ron and Hermione their treats, a grin on his face. 

“What did you do?” Hermione asked suspiciously, feeling the change in energy coming from Harry. It was the same energy that she felt around the twins when they’d come up with a new prank, and between that and the smile she knew something had happened. 

Harry shrugged, innocently replying, “Have you seen Malfoy? He coloured his hair.”

“He did? Or someone else did?” Hermione asked suspiciously, “This will just continue to escalate until someone gets hurt.” 

 Ron and Harry ignored her disapproval, Ron laughing and patting his best mate’s back in appreciation, “Nice one, Harry.” 

Hermione looked like she wanted to say more on the topic, but their conversation halted when the train stopped and the lights flickered out. 

“It’s too early to have arrived. I wonder what’s going on?” Hermione asked curiously, glancing towards the window, “Should we go check--”

The three students gasped when they were overcome with a cold sensation, a dark figure gliding into their compartment. Harry heard a scream, saw a flash of light, and then darkness. 

When Harry came to, he was surprised to find that besides Ron and Hermione at his side, Dudley was also kneeling beside him, an unusual level of concern apparent on his porkly features. 

“What happened?” Harry asked, pushing his glasses up a bit to rub his eyes as he tried to wake up fully, “What was that?”

“A dementor, they guard Azkaban.” Hermione supplied, “Professor Lupin got rid of it. He told us to give you this…” Hermione handed Harry a bit of chocolate, and he stared down at it in confusion. He still had no idea what was going on. 

“Do those-those things come round a lot here?” Dudley asked, his voice trembling slightly, “I don’t think I like those demenders.”

“Dementors.” Hermione corrected, though no one acknowledged it. “And no, I don’t even know what they’re doing on the train. It’s very unusual.”

“They’re probably looking for Sirius Black.” Ron reasoned, “But they didn’t need to linger so long; it’s clear he isn’t here.”

Harry shakily rose to his feet, then sat back into his seat, “Who screamed?”

Three pairs of eyes met his own, and their confusion spoke volumes. 

“No one screamed, mate.” Ron said slowly, “Are you sure you heard screaming?”

Harry didn’t need to be a mind-reader to know Ron was thinking about the last time only Harry could hear something and the basilisk that nearly killed his little sister. 

“Maybe...maybe I imagined it.” Harry replied hesitantly, “Did any of you, um, you know--”

“No mate,” Ron replied, shaking his head, “You’re the only one who went down. They were awful though, it felt like I was never going to be happy again.”

“Professor Lupin used some sort of spell to scare it away, I didn’t recognize it though.” Hermione seemed very off-put that she hadn’t known the spell, “And then your cousin appeared.”

“It shook up everyone in our car.” Dudley told the trio, “That bloke with the pink hair tried to pretend like he wasn’t scared, but I know what a scared kid looks like.”

Harry grinned, despite the situation, at Malfoy being called the ‘bloke with the pink hair’. He wiped a layer of sweat off of his face with his sleeve, feeling a bit stronger and less confused now that he’d had some of the professor’s chocolate. 

“So you’re okay, right Harry?” Dudley asked, though he looked away when Harry stared at him in confusion. This day was getting stranger and stranger. 

Harry nodded, “Yeah, I’m fine. I’ll be happy if I never come across another dementor, but no harm done.”

“Good, you were having some sort of fit when I got here. I didn’t want you to die or something.”

Their conversation was interrupted by Draco Malfoy, who was now wearing a hat to cover his hair, “Potter, I heard you fainted like a girl when the dementors came through.”

“Shut up, Malfoy.” Harry retorted, barely sparing his rival with a glance. He wasn’t in the mood to fight just yet. 

“Come on, Dursley, I don’t know how you can even stand the stench of being in the room with this lot.” Malfoy demanded arrogantly, turning on his heel without waiting for a response. It was clear that the invitation wasn’t an option. 

Dudley looked apprehensive to leave, which confused Harry even more than the dementor situation did - Dudley had never willingly spent time with Harry before, so why wasn’t he jumping at the chance to leave with someone who would happily share the larger boy’s disdain for his cousin. 

“Go ahead, Dudley - we’re probably nearly to the station, anyway.” Harry encouraged his cousin. While he didn’t want Dudley and Malfoy teaming up against him, he also didn’t want to have to entertain Dudley for the rest of the trip. 

The rest of the trip passed by quickly, the three Gryffindors discussing Dudley’s newfound magic for a bit before moving on to other topics such as Sirius Black and the dementor that had terrorized them on the train. Before they knew it, they had arrived at the station and were being ushered towards the school. 

Harry shuddered when he spotted the dementors off in the distance, which did not go unnoticed by Malfoy and his gang of bullies. 

“Ohh, Potter, are you scared?” Malfoy taunted, “Are you going to faint again?”

Harry took a step towards Malfoy, suddenly full of anger that needed a release. He had expected Malfoy to continue bringing up that incident, but expecting it did nothing to dampen the embarrassment and anger he felt at it being brought up yet again. 

“Oh no, Potter’s mad. Are you going to tell your Mummy and Daddy on me?” Malfoy jeered, “Oh, wait, can’t do that because they’re dead. Do you miss your dead Mummy and Daddy, Potter?”

Harry lunged towards the Slytherin, but found himself being held back by not only Ron, but Hermione as well. 

“It’s not worth it.” Hermione said quietly, “Harry, just ignore him. He’s just trying to rile you up.”

“Care to repeat that, Malfoy?” Dudley asked, coming between his cousin and his new friend, “That’s my aunt and uncle you’re talking about.” 

Dudley may not have known any spells to use in a duel, but he had the advantage of being larger and more intimidating than Malfoy or his friends, all of the years of terrorizing the neighborhood streets finally paying off in Harry’s favor for once.

Malfoy took a step back, then brandished his wand, “I’m not afraid of you, Dursley.”

“Maybe you should be.” Dudley retorted, taking a few steps towards Malfoy so he was right in the boy’s face, “I dunno who you think you are, but I’m the only one who gets to tease Harry about his parents. You’d better back off.” 

Harry went still in his friend’s grasp, jaw dropping open as Dudley openly defended him. What was this? Did the dementors somehow addle Dudley’s brain? Since when did Dudley ever do him any favours? 

“So you’re an idiot, just like your cousin.” Malfoy scoffed, “I can make it or break it for you at this school, you do not want to cross me.”

“I don’t care who you are, I’m not scared of you or your name or your status. You’re just like every other arrogant pillock I’ve ever come across; all talk and nothing to back it up with.” Dudley asserted, giving the blonde one hard shove, “Now leave us alone.” 

They continued their trek towards the castle, the three Gryffindors and Dudley in silence for a few moments, until Harry commented, “Thanks, Dudley. You didn’t have to get on his bad side, I could have handled it...but thank you.” 

“He’s such a prat!” Dudley exclaimed, “He went on and on and on during the train ride about who he was and who his parents were and all sorts of things I couldn’t care less about. Anyway, you couldn’t help what happened with the dementoids anyway; I’ve never seen anything or anyone make you fall out like that, so I don’t think you were just scared or something like he’s saying. And bringing your parents into it was a low move.”

“That’s just how he is.” Harry said with a shrug, “Anything he can think of to take the mick with…”

“But it’s not right.”

“Dudley, you and your mates take the mickey all the time. You guys say all of that stuff and worse to me day in and day out all summer.” Harry reminded his cousin, “What’s the difference between you doing it and Malfoy doing it?”

Dudley looked at Harry as if he’d grown a second head, “Seriously?”

“Yes, Dudley, seriously.” Harry replied with exasperation, “It’s literally the same thing.”

Dudley fell silent for a minute, and as they approached the castle, he told his cousin quietly, “It’s different because you’re my cousin and my friend, and he hates you.”

“You hate me, Dudley.” Harry reminded the beefy boy, “You’ve always hated me. You get mad when I’m included in anything in your life, you terrorize me and beat me up and allow your friends to chase me around to do the same. You tattle on me to your parents when you know how it will end, and you intentionally do things to get me into trouble.”

Dudley stopped walking, turning to Harry with a frown, “Well, yeah, but not because I hate you.”

“What?” Harry asked, gaze narrowed as he tried to follow along with his cousin’s logic. 

“I mean, that’s just how we get along, Harry.” Dudley shrugged, “Taking the piss and sibling rivalry and all of that stuff. I don’t actually hate you.”

“You’ve done a fantastic job of fooling me, then.” Harry declared, green eyes shining brightly. He couldn’t tell whether he was angry or relieved, especially as he was still on edge from the dementors not only on the train, but off in the distance on the grounds. What was he supposed to do with this information? Could he even trust that Dudley was being truthful? 

He glanced at his friends, who had wisely remained silent and who were watching the cousins carefully. He was saved from having to respond, though, as McGonagall met them at the front of the castle steps, “Potter, Granger - I’d like a word with you.”

The stern professor gave a look to Ron that caused him to shut his mouth with an audible click before he even had the chance to protest, and the redhead tilted his head towards the entrance, “Come on, then, Dursley. I’ll show you where you’re supposed to go.”

Harry was dismayed to discover that word had already made it to the castle about the fainting episode on the train, and with a mixture of embarrassment and annoyance, he allowed himself to be questioned by his head of house while being poked and prodded by Madam Pomfrey. 

“I’m fine, really.” Harry said for what felt like the hundredth time, “It’s no big deal.”

“It is a big deal, though.” Hermione told her friend before the two adults could respond, frowning slightly, “You just don’t like it when people fuss over you. Passing out is not something that happens to normal, healthy people. You were the only one of us who it happened to, of course they’re going to worry over you.”

Hermione turned to Professor McGonagall, “He’s always like this.” 

“We know, Miss Granger.” Pomfrey sighed, waving her wand around the boy pensively, “I’ve never met a child who was so resistant to even the most basic--”

“I’m fine.” Harry interrupted, already having heard this lecture before, “May I go now?”

“I want you to find me immediately if you start to feel poorly.” Pomfrey told the boy firmly, “I’m sure Miss Granger will be more than happy to accompany you if the need arises?”

“Yes, mam.” Hermione agreed, shrugging slightly at the annoyed look Harry shot her way. She wasn’t going to be made to feel guilty for watching out for her friend, especially with his track record of not looking out for himself. 

“You may go, Potter.” McGonagall acquiesced, “If you hurry along, you may get to see the end of the sorting, as well as your cousin’s sorting.”

Harry wasted no time in making his way down to the Great Hall, wanting to put as much distance between the two adults and himself as possible in case they changed their minds about letting him escape. 

As luck would have it, he sat at the Gryffindor table just as they called Dudley to be sorted. 

“Where do you think he’ll end up?” Ron asked curiously, “I hope for his sake it’s not in Slytherin - after the way he talked to Malfoy, he won’t make it to morning.” 

Harry wasn’t sure, and he didn’t respond. 

The hat seemed to be taking a long time in making a decision on placement. Harry wondered if it was because there were no redeemable qualities to help place his cousin; Dudley was not incredibly intelligent, nor was he fair and loyal. Harry had never known him to be brave nor ambitious, either. 

“It needs to hurry up, I’m starved.” Ron complained after a few moments of watching the hat do absolutely nothing. The rest of the hall seemed to agree, as whispers and conversations started popping up in all four tables as the hat deliberated. 

After what seemed like an eternity, but was probably only a span of four or five minutes, the hat reached a decision, declaring “Gryffindor!”

Harry would have fallen off of the bench if Ron hadn’t grabbed his arm to keep him upright. Gryffindor?! How could that possibly be?! 

As if it weren’t bad enough to have Dudley turning the neighborhood kids against him, chasing him down and hitting him whenever the mood struck, and ruining every potentially positive thing throughout the summer and their primary years, now he wasn’t even going to get a break from him at school? Why was this happening to him? 

“I’m doomed.” Harry muttered to his friend as Dudley slid off of the stool and placed the hat down, “Why Gryffindor? How could he possibly end up here? We’re nothing alike.” 

“Looks like we’re going to be roommates.” Dudley told his cousin, sitting opposite from him at the table, “Imagine that.” 

“Yeah, imagine that.” Harry said dully, still numb from shock over the latest development. Dudley being a wizard seemed like much less of an imposition when Harry had thought Dudley would be sorted elsewhere. Now he just felt like the walls were closing in on him and his escape from the loneliness and harsh conditions of Privet Drive was meaningless, as that life had followed him here. 

Dumbledore introduced the new professor and made an announcement that Hagrid would be taking over Care of Magical Creatures, but even that news wasn’t enough to bring Harry out of the fog that had descended over his brain. Different scenarios ran through his mind, each worse than the previous, as Harry contemplated all of the ways Dudley could ruin his life here at school. When the food finally appeared on the table, Harry was no longer hungry and didn’t even bother to serve himself a plate. 

Meanwhile, Ron and Dudley dug into the meal with gusto, and Harry cringed as he realized there was a similarity between the two boys. His mind wandered to Dudley standing up for him against Malfoy, Dudley’s declaration that he didn’t hate Harry after all, and the way Dudley had seemed concerned about him on the train. What was happening to his cousin? Could this be the same Dudley that had bruised his ribs just days ago? The same Dudley who banged on his door every time he passed because he knew it would rile up Hedwig? The same Dudley who had pitched a fit the day before because Harry had taken a single biscuit from the tray when he’d had nine of his own? 

Harry was still lost in thought as the feast ended, and he barely processed Percy’s words when the Head Boy told them the new password for Gryffindor was ‘Fortuna Major’. 

“It’s really hard to find your way around at first,” Ron was telling Dudley as they ascended the staircase, “But soon it’ll become second nature, eh Harry?”

Harry didn’t hear his friend, though, still walking in a daze. Dudley, in Gryffindor, at Hogwarts. It wouldn’t be long before the entire school knew the secrets he kept about his life in Surrey. 

“Oi, Harry, watch out!” 

Dudley’s warning came too late and Harry ran directly into another warm body, nearly losing his balance and falling down the stairs had it not been for both Dudley and Ron reaching out to steady him. 

“You’re in for it now.” Ron muttered, and Harry finally cleared his brain fog enough to realize what he’d just done. 

“Mr. Potter….looking for detention already? I would say that’s a new record, but I recall how last year began for you.” 

Harry remained silent, locking eyes with Snape and sullenly waiting for his punishment. It would do no good to argue and he wasn’t in the mood to give Dudley even more ammunition to tease him with later. 

“Sorry, sir, Harry didn’t mean to run into you--”

“Silence!” 

Harry winced, looking towards Dudley with an expression that hopefully told the boy to shut up before they all got in any more trouble. 

“He fainted on the train, his mind’s just not in the right place. He didn’t mean anything by it.”

“Silence!” Snape repeated, this time angrier and louder than his initial command, “Mr. Potter, since you and your fan club cannot control yourselves and conduct yourselves in the manner appropriate for a child your age, the two of you can join me in detention tomorrow at 7. Don’t be late.” 

The professor started to walk away, but then turned back to regard the dark-haired Gryffindor once more, “Don’t think your theatrics on the train mean anything to me; I know how attention-seeking and self-serving your behaviors are. You won’t win any favors with me with your act.” 

“I wasn’t--” Harry began to argue, annoyed in a way that only Snape could bring out in him. He clenched his fists angrily, ready to defend himself against everything the professor had claimed and assumed about him, but stopped as Snape got right into his face. 

“Twenty points from Gryffindor for arguing with your superiors.” 

“I wasn’t--”

“Forty points.”

“That’s not fair!” Dudley said loudly, drawing attention from the other students in the hallway, “Just because you’re a teacher doesn’t mean you get to pick on your students, especially when they’ve done nothing wrong.”

Harry thought for sure that the potions professor was about to assign them a year’s worth of detentions and take some ridiculous number like 1000 points for Dudley’s outburst, but instead Snape lowered his voice to the most intimidating level he possessed, and told the new student, “I don’t know how things were ran at whatever muggle institution you were educated at prior to coming here, but at this school we show respect for our professors and we don’t respond with cheek. If you want to know what happens to cheeky, disobedient brats, I suggest you ask your new housemates for their experiences in those matters. Go. To. Your. Dormitory. Now.” 

The boys didn’t hesitate and the three scurried up the stairs quicker than Snape had ever seen a student move out of his way. 

“Who was he?” Dudley asked, panting as they waited for one of the staircases to return so they could finish their trek to the common room, “The scary one?”

“That’s Professor Snape.” Ron supplied, “He has it in for Harry, and you’re probably on his list now, too. He’s the head of Slytherin, and you won’t find a nastier professor...and that’s including the one who tried to kill Harry first year.” 

“What? Someone tried to kill you?”

Harry gave a half-smile, glancing over his shoulder to make sure Snape hadn’t trailed behind them to take more points, then replied, “Several someones. Welcome to Hogwarts.”

This was going to be the weirdest year ever.