Tomorrow, Severus would have to return to Hogwarts with Harry, who was missing in action at the moment. Severus checked Harry’s bedroom, then knocked on the bathroom door only to find it empty. He was pretty sure he had told Harry to finish packing up his belongings. After Harry had reaged to his fifteen-year-old self, Severus had made a quick trip back to Hogwarts to collect some of Harry’s clothes and schoolbooks for the last week of the break. Somehow, Harry had managed to make a mess of his room with the few things he had.

               Severus decided to check outside, knowing how much Harry enjoyed flying around the house or even frequenting the pond. Severus stepped into his boots then out onto the deck, quickly spotting Harry sitting near the pond, hugging his knees and staring out into the water. Severus’s old broom lay next to Harry in the grass.

               Severus sighed, then walked down the deck stairs and toward the pond. He paused next to Harry, staring down at the messy mop of black hair.

               “What are you doing, Potter?” Severus asked.

               “Watching the fish,” Harry said with a shrug, gesturing to the fish swimming around in the pond. “They must have warmed up some, they’ve been swimming around a lot today. Comet especially. He pushes everyone around.”

               “Yes, he’s a bit of an arse,” Severus said nonchalantly. He waved his hand, causing a large stone to rise up from the earth, and with another wave of his hand, the stone cleaned and dried itself. It was only then that Severus sat down on, avoiding the damp ground Harry was sitting on. “What are you really doing out here? I told you to pack up your things, and by the looks of your room, you have not done that.”

               Harry hesitated, looking off into the distance now, but after a moment, he turned his head to look up at Severus.

               “I was thinking about what you told me,” Harry said, “about following through with things even if we don’t like it. I get that I have to go back to school and finish the year and all that, but sometimes I wish I didn’t have to go back as . . . well, as me.”

               “The Boy-Who-Lived?”

               “Yeah. Him. It’s not fair that the whole wizarding world expects me to do great things when I just want to go to school and not have to worry about murderers or crazy professors and their detentions or . . .”

               “You’ll have one less crazy professor to worry about,” Severus said. “Which reminds me. Let me see your hand.”

               Severus summoned a vial of extra-strength dittany healing balm before holding his hand out expectantly. Harry gave him a strange look before slowly offering his hand out to Severus. Severus opened the lid of the balm and scooped up a generous amount of the potion, then grabbed Harry’s wrist tightly, startling the teen.

               “I’m afraid this will hurt,” Severus warned, then rubbed the potion over the scarred words on Harry’s hand.

               “What are you—ow!” Harry cried out, then tried to jerk his hand out of Severus’s grip but found himself unable to.

               Severus kept a hold of Harry’s wrist as he finished rubbing in the potion that began to sizzle against Harry’s skin immediately, eating away at the scarring before replacing the flesh with new, unblemished skin. Harry’s face was contorted in pain, and he had tears in his eyes, but he was taking deep breaths to get through it, and Severus released his wrist as soon as the words “I must not tell lies” were gone.

               Harry jerked his hand back and studied the healed skin, blinking in surprise that the words were gone.

               “You should have told someone,” Severus said. “Punishment like that is forbidden in Hogwarts.”

               “I didn’t know she wasn’t allowed to use that quill,” Harry said, running his fingers over where the scars used to be. “And I didn’t want to show her that . . .”

               “That you were vulnerable?” Severus sneered. “That it bothered you? Hurt you? If you don’t want to be treated like a hero, Mr. Potter, then stop playing one.”

               “I wasn’t trying to. Who would have believed me anyway? You all thought I was lying!”

               “About what? The return of the Dark Lord? I can assure you; not once did I think you were lying.”

               “That’s because you’re—” Harry cut himself off, staring down into the water with a glare. “I didn’t know if I could trust you or not.”

               Severus felt a pang of hurt in his chest, and the feeling surprised him, as he knew that he never cared before whether the Golden Boy or his friends trusted him or not. He pushed the feeling away, knowing it was his own fault for the distrust.

               “That is understandable, but do you think Professor McGonagall would have ignored this if you brought it to her attention? The headmaster, even?”

               “Not like she could have done much. Umbridge is looking to invalidate all the professors and get them fired.”

               “That didn’t mean that we wouldn’t have stood against her if the right situation gave us a chance. Imagine the outrage if parents heard of the discipline methods she had been using on their kids. There are ways information can be leaked if only one is made aware. Then perhaps medieval methods wouldn’t have had to be used to force her out.”

               “So you did have a part in getting rid of Umbridge,” Harry said, eyes narrowing in on Severus.

               “I said no such thing,” Severus fired back, though without any malice in his tone.

               Harry smirked at Severus, and while Severus resisted at first, he finally offered a small smirk back. Harry laughed, reaching forward to splash the water a bit, catching the attention of the fish, who swam up to the surface to investigate. Harry watched them for a moment, then looked back at Severus.

               “I’m going to miss it here,” he said. “For a dungeon bat, your home is really nice.”

               “Watch yourself.” Severus cuffed the back of Harry’s head playfully. “You’re not so bad, yourself, Potter. When you’re not being a cheeky brat, that is.”

               “I was wondering,” Harry began, “do you think I could come back? Even if just to visit for like a weekend or something. Just to get away from the Dursleys if I need to?”

               Severus hesitated, but he had already considered the request before Harry even thought up the question. Not wanting to sound too eager, Severus looked down at the fish in the pond, watching as the large red and white fish nipped the fin of a smaller goldfish, chasing it off. After a moment, he nodded his head.

               “I’m sure we can arrange something like that. An emergency portkey or some floo powder for you to take when you leave for summer break.”

               “That would be great, sir, thank you!” Harry jumped up and hugged Severus, catching him off guard and he nearly fell off the rock he was sitting on. He managed to catch himself and remain seated, bringing his arms up and around Harry, who seemed to come to his senses and pulled away, his cheeks red. “Sorry, err, I—”

               “Think nothing of it,” Severus said with a small smile as he stood up. “I think this experience has pushed us past teacher and student, wouldn’t you think?”

               “I wasn’t sure what to think actually, sir.”

               Severus felt that odd feeling of affection swell in his chest once more as he studied Harry. It was still the strangest emotion, one he had not felt in years, and it took some getting used to, but he was sure that would come with time. He offered a rare genuine smile before saying, “In the privacy of the Escape Cottage or even my quarters at Hogwarts, you may call me Severus.”

               “Really?”

               “I do get tired of being called Professor or even Sir. It makes me sound old.”

               Harry smirked, and Severus narrowed his eyes at the teen, silently warning him to watch his cheek.

               “I would like that,” Harry said instead of whatever cheeky remark had been at the tip of his tongue. “And I can really come down to your quarters at school.”

               “Of course. I can come up with hundreds of pretend detentions to give you as cover.”

               Harry rolled his eyes but smiled all the same.

               “Now,” Severus added, “please, go do as I’ve asked once already and finish packing.”

               Harry nodded, picking up the broomstick and running to the shed to put it away. Severus headed for the house, meeting Harry in the mudroom as they both took off their boots before stepping inside. When Harry stopped in the bathroom first, Severus walked into Harry’s bedroom, quickly finding the small suitcase he gave the boy to use to pack up his few things. After a brief second of consideration, Severus summoned the snake plush, Fangs, and slipped it into the half-packed suitcase, squeezing the toy between a few schoolbooks.  

               Later that night, Severus could hear Harry tossing and turning in his bed. He sighed as he turned out the lights in his kitchen after finishing his nightcap. For the last week, Severus had worked with Harry on his Occlumency, and clearly, he needed more assistance tonight. Severus headed for Harry’s room.

               “Have you been practicing clearing you mind?” Severus asked as soon as he entered Harry’s room.  

               “I’ve been trying, really,” Harry answered as he sat up slightly. “It’s just hard not to feel anything at all and keep my mind blank.”

               “Occlumency isn’t about not feeling at all,” Severus corrected gently. “I told you that you needed to control your emotions, not ignore them completely. I am trying to make this easier on you as otherwise, this is a very difficult skill to learn. Let’s try some meditation before we begin. Have you been doing your breathing exercises?”

               “Yes, but I still don’t know how to keep my mind from wandering. Especially at night, my head is all over the place and breathing only helps so much. Sometimes, I think more when I’m doing the exercises.”

               “You are determined to be a difficult student in all your studies,” Severus said with a roll of his eyes. He sat on the edge of Harry’s bed, reaching into an inner robe pocket and pulling out a pocket watch. He held it out and began allowing it to swing slightly.

               “Not this again,” Harry complained.

               “Yes, Potter, this again, seeing how it worked so thoroughly last time. Don’t worry, I won’t make you fall asleep this time. Now, follow the watch.”

               Harry gave Severus a strange look before sighing, lying back in his bed, and following the watch with his eyes. Severus noted that Harry began his breathing exercises as well, breathing in for four seconds then exhaling for four seconds.

               “What I would like you to try from now on once we return to Hogwarts is finding something within your room to focus on. Something steady and constant, like a grandfather clock or a non-moving portrait. Think of nothing else but breathing and keeping your eyes on that object. How are you doing so far?”

               Harry nodded his head, refusing to break his focus on the watch or his breathing. Severus continued swinging the watch in a slow, steady half arc while watching Harry’s breathing.

               “If your mind wanders, allow it to do so, but only long enough to register where your mind wandered off to, then bring it back to focus on just the watch and your breathing. You’re doing very well. Has your mind wandered off yet?”

               Harry shrugged, then nodded once.

               “Good, remember your thoughts, but make sure to refocus on the watch. A few more minutes now.”

               Severus continued swinging the watch for another couple minutes before yanking the chain up into his hand. Harry blinked as if coming out of a trance. Severus returned the watch to his pocket and gave Harry a curious look.

               “How are you feeling?” he asked.

               “Pretty relaxed actually,” Harry said, offering a smile. “And tired. That watch trick really works.”

               “Do you recall any thoughts you had during this?”

               “I started to think about classes starting up tomorrow, but I reminded myself to focus on the watch, then I got thinking about how you did this to me before and how it made me pass out. That’s when I started feeling tired.”

               Severus snorted at Harry’s brief summary of his straying thoughts.

               “Very good. You allowed your brain to naturally think as it will without trying to forcibly clear all thoughts out of your mind. You still managed to refocus as you needed to in order to stay relaxed. That is what I want you to do from now on when I ask you to clear your mind before bed. Don’t force it but don’t daydream either. Keep your mind as focused on breathing and your fixed point as possible.”

               “How does this help me with Occlumency?”

               “A clear and collected mind will help you create strong barriers to resist an attack from Legilimency. You will try clearing your mind again and keep it that way while I attempt a gentle intrusion. I will increase the intensity as we go on, but you will learn different techniques and mind magics to assist you with these keeping me from accessing your memories.”

               “Sounds awful.”

               “It won’t be.” Severus reached into another pocket and pulled out a thin, silver bracelet. “This is for you. It is keyed to my quarters to allow you in when you wave it near the handle. It is also a portkey that will take you directly to the Escape Cottage with three taps of your wand. Only to be used during the summer.”

               Harry smiled as he accepted the bracelet, closing a hand around it securely.

               “Thanks. It means a lot.”

               “You’re welcome.”

               “I’m actually really tired now, so I think I’ll try falling asleep.”

               “Well, don’t let me keep you from your beauty rest,” Severus said as he stood up. He paused, resting a hand on the top of Harry’s head. “Goodnight, Harry.”

               “Night, Severus,” Harry said softly.

               Severus ruffled his hair slightly before leaving Harry’s bedroom, retiring to his own.

June 30th, 1997

               “Cru—” Harry yelled again after stumbling to his feet and aiming his wand at Severus once more. Severus blocked the curse however, hardening his heart against Harry’s tear-stained face.

               “No Unforgivable Curses from you, Potter!” Severus shouted over the roaring flames coming from Hagrid’s hut. “You haven’t got the nerve or the ability.”

               Severus blocked another spell from Harry, trying hard to keep an eye on him while making sure all the other Death Eaters were accounted for. It was difficult listening to Harry’s pain-filled voice as the child screamed at him. The child he had taken in when he had deaged himself to a baby, returned to his normal age, comforted him when his godfather died, and grew to love him as his own. No, Harry wanted nothing to do with him now.

               Suddenly, Harry fell over in pain as a curse from a Death Eater a few feet behind him struck him.

               “No!” Severus roared, and he fired a curse at the Death Eater hurting Harry, who remained curled on the grass, clutching his wand and panting. “Have you forgotten our orders? Potter belongs to the Dark Lord—we are to leave him! Go! Go!”

               Death Eaters stormed past Harry as they ran toward the gates, disapparating off the property. Harry stumbled to his feet, and Severus struck him with a stunning spell, knocking the child back down to the ground. Severus walked over to Harry and looked down on him where he lay, quickly kicking his wand away.

               “How could you?” Harry asked in a choked whisper as he glared up at Severus. “How could you kill him, Severus?”

               Severus did not answer. Instead, he reached down with his wand outstretched for Harry’s left wrist, and with a quick slash of his wand, the silver bracelet fell off Harry’s wrist and fell to the ground in a crumble of ash. The bracelet that had allowed Harry entry to his quarters for long evenings of tea and small talk. The bracelet that had brought Harry to his home once again during the summer. Harry watched with a broken-hearted face and a few tears escaped his eyes.

               “Kill me then,” Harry said. “Kill me like you killed him! He trusted you! I trusted you.”

               Severus said nothing, though inside, he felt himself break in a million pieces. He took a few steps back away from Harry’s look of betrayal. He shook his head slowly, closing his eyes for a second before meeting Harry’s eyes directly.

               “I’m sorry,” was all Severus could say.

               Unable to stare into those hurt eyes any longer, Severus turned down the path and ran for the gates, disapparating as soon as he crossed the threshold.

May 2nd, 1998

               “The Elder Wand cannot serve me properly, Severus, because I am not its true master.”

               Severus had a sense of dread fill his stomach, like ice pooling within him. He eyed the snake cage in the corner of the room, watching the beast slither around in the tight space.

               “I can find Potter,” Severus pleaded, even with no intention of doing so. It was his only play, and he had a sinking feeling it wouldn’t work. “I can bring him to you, my Lord.”

               “The Elder Wand belongs to the wizard who killed its last owner,” Voldemort continued as if Severus had not spoken. “You killed Albus Dumbledore. While you live, Severus, the Elder Wand cannot truly be mine.”

               “My Lord,” Severus protested, raising his wand.

               “It cannot be any other way,” said Voldemort as he stunned Severus before he could try anything else. Severus fell to the ground unable to move, though he struggled against the curse, using every counter spell he knew, his eyes glancing at the snake cage now and then. Voldemort added, “I must master the wand, Severus. Master the wand, and I master Potter at last.”

               Voldemort swiped the air with the Elder Wand and in parseltongue said “Kill.” The cage door opened. Severus couldn’t even scream as the snake shot across the room with open jaws. Nagini bit down on Severus’s neck repeatedly. Severus could only endure the pain silently, tears welling in his eyes as blood gushed from the wounds in his neck. The snake backed off and returned to her cage, which closed and flew off the ground toward Voldemort.

               “I regret it,” Voldemort said coldly as he turned away without the slightest hint of sadness or remorse. He left the shack with the great serpent floating after him in a huge protective sphere.

               Severus lay dying in the shack, resigned to his feet, drawing in shuddering breaths. He felt hands touch his neck and his eyes widened for a brief moment before Harry appeared from underneath an invisibility cloak. He saw Harry’s two loyal friends as well, but they were very blurry in the background as Severus slowly lost consciousness. Before he could, he found that the stun spell had worn off, and he gestured to the tears rolling down his cheeks.

               “Take them,” Severus said. “Take them.”

               Severus shuddered slightly, and the tears transformed from clear water to silvery blue. Severus saw Harry blink for a moment, then he looked around wildly.

               “Give me something,” Harry demanded. “Quickly! A flask! Anything.”

               Severus saw a movement in the background and then Harry was holding a flask to his cheek to collect the tears while keeping pressure on Severus’s neck. Once the flask had a few drops, Harry closed and shoved it in a robe pocket and began waving his wand over Severus’s neck.

               “Go,” Severus said in a garbled voice.

               “I’m not leaving you,” Harry said as he stopped Severus’s bleeding then reached into a robe pocket for another flask. He held it to Severus’s lips. “Here. Drink.”

               Severus accepted the drink, realizing it was a very watery potion. He wasn’t sure what Harry thought he could do, but he would do anything for Harry to his dying breath.

               “It works, you know,” Harry said. “That research you were reading up on back at the Escape Cottage. Boiling sneezeweed petals with bezoars. It neutralizes venom and poisons, but only briefly. Guys, help me bring him to the infirmary.”

               “Harry, please, you need to leave me.”   

               “I’m not leaving you.”

               Severus felt himself rise from the ground under a levitation spell and he floated after the Golden Trio as they carefully directed him out of the shack and to Hogwarts.

               “You didn’t leave me when I needed you most,” Harry said. “So I’m not leaving you.”

               You are far too forgiving, Severus thought. Unable to voice those words aloud, Severus closed his eyes, and the world turned into silent darkness.

The Next Day:

               Severus blinked at the rays shining through the window, groaning in pain. His vision was blurry while his eyes took a moment to focus on his surroundings, and he realized he was lying in a bed in the infirmary. There were several empty vials of potions scattered around the bed, as if they had been spelled into his system in a rush. He tried to turn his head, only to find his neck wrapped in a thick layer of bandage material that made it difficult to do more than move his head a few degrees one way or another. How in Merlin’s name had he survived Nagini’s attack? Where was everyone? Where was . . . Harry?

               “Oh, good,” Madam Pomfrey said as she walked into the infirmary. “I had your bed spelled to let me know when you woke up. If you were going to anyway. How are you feeling?”

               Severus struggled with his words for a moment, and in the end, he could slur a few incoherent words.
               “That’s alright, dear.” Madam Pomfrey summoned a glass of water and helped Severus sit up in the bed. She held the cup to his lips, and he drank greedily. The cold water hurt passing through his mangled throat, but he was parched and forced himself to drink his fill. When he was satisfied, Madam Pomfrey helped him take a blood replenishing potion, a pain reliever, and a nutrient potion.

               “Nothing but liquid food for you for now, Severus. Due to that snake’s venom, the wounds on your neck are taking longer to heal than normal, so you’ll have to take it easy. I’m going to change your bandages and apply wound healing balm to your neck.”

               Severus patiently waited through Madam Pomfrey’s administration. She undid the bandage material and cleaned the bite wounds that cut deep into his flesh. Healing balm was applied, and the potion managed to heal just a small amount of the flesh, fighting against the small traces of venom lingering in Severus’s skin. Madam Pomfrey wrapped Severus’s neck in clean linens before helping him stand to his feet. Severus pulled away from Madam Pomfrey to walk to the loo himself, though very weak and unsteady, where he finally got a good look at how awful he really looked.

               He was ashen white, his eyes bloodshot, and his neck hidden in a thick layer of white material. His whole body was trembling, and he couldn’t even raise his arms higher than his shoulders without feeling faint. After analyzing himself a few minutes longer, Severus returned to the bed, nearly collapsing on it. He was exhausted just from that small bit of movement. He leaned back against the headboard, closing his eyes, wondering where Madam Pomfrey went.

               “You’re awake!” a familiar voice said at the entry way of the infirmary.

               Severus’s eyes snapped open, and he managed to turn his head enough to see Harry running over to his bed.

               “Madam Pomfrey wasn’t sure if you would wake up again, or even survive the night,” Harry said, talking quickly as he sat on the edge of Severus’s bed. “Even after all the potions we got into you. I knew you would pull through though. How are you feeling?”

               Severus opened his mouth to speak, but he felt pain with the motion so decided against trying to say anything at all. Harry picked up on it and nodded his head.

               “Yeah, the wounds wouldn’t heal no matter how much healing balm we put on. I guess the venom in your blood was neutralized with that potion I gave you but not the venom in your skin.”

               Severus smiled softly, earning a small smile back.

               “Bet you didn’t think I remembered that article you read about my first Christmas with you. I thought it would come in handy with us having to get close to Nagini. We won, by the way.”

               Severus frowned and tilted his head slightly, pinning Harry with a hard stare, hoping he was getting the message across.

               “You’re wondering how I survived?” Harry asked, and at a quirk of Severus’s lips, Harry said, “I almost did. I went to Voldemort and let him kill me, but I kind of made it to some kind of halfway point. I ran into Professor Dumbledore, who explained that Voldemort killed his own horcrux and its probably why I didn’t die all the way. I had the choice to go back, so I did. Then I managed to defeat Voldemort.”

               Harry looked down at the cold floor with sad eyes.

               “We lost a lot of lives. Good lives. Good people. We’re still cleaning up the aftermath too. That’s where everyone is right now. But it’s over. The war is finally over.”

               Severus gave Harry a sympathetic look. He felt a huge wave of a thousand emotions hit him at once: relief, remorse, resentment. Many more emotions struck Severus and he choked back a sob as tears welled in his eyes. For the first time in years, Severus cried.

               Harry stared at Severus with wide eyes at first as the man continued to cry with his eyes scrunched shut despite the tears rolling down his pale cheeks, choked sobs emitting now and then. Harry readjusted himself so he was closer to Severus on the bed, then he hugged Severus.

               Severus returned the hug with as much strength as he could muster. He continued to cry into the messy mop of hair on Harry’s head, and he felt Harry start to cry as well, as if releasing his own pent-up fears and sorrows.

               “I missed you,” Severus managed to force out in a harsh whisper.

               That seemed to make Harry cry harder as the teen tightened his arms around Severus.

               “I missed you, too. I was so confused. You didn’t tell me anything.”

               “I’m sorry.”

               “It’s okay. I get why now.”

               Severus didn’t feel like anything was “okay,” but he accepted Harry’s words for now as talking was really hurting his throat. He sighed into Harry’s hair, patting the teen’s back comfortingly, his emotional outburst coming to an end. Harry enjoyed the embrace a minute longer before pulling away and wiping his eyes, skewing his glasses on his face.

               “Do you think I can come back to the Escape Cottage now?” Harry asked.

               Severus offered a smile in answer.

               At that moment, Madam Pomfrey reappeared. She checked Severus one last time, clucking softly to herself before scribbling instructions down on a spare parchment.

               “I would feel better if you stayed here for at least a week to let me treat those wounds on your neck, but knowing you, you’ll want to go home as soon as possible, won’t you? So, here’s what you need to do: replenishing potions twice daily, at least twelve hours apart, pain relief potions twice daily, and liquid food only in addition to a nutrient potion three times a day, Change the bandage on your neck twice daily, be sure to apply the healing balm to those wounds, and take it easy, Severus. You need to rest and allow yourself to heal for seven days. I suggest you take one of the house elves with you to your home to assist you in your care.”

               Severus opened his mouth to protest, but unable to make noise, he shook his head instead.

               “I’ll take care of him,” Harry piped up.

               “That’s very kind of you, Mr. Potter,” Madam Pomfrey began in an uncomfortable tone, “but I’m sure Severus would rather—”

               “I’m going to his place anyway,” Harry interrupted. “I was there the summer before after Sirius died. Severus didn’t leave me alone for a moment and he took care of me even when I didn’t want him to. I can return the favor now.”

               Severus was actively glaring at Harry for daring to suggest that he would take care of him. Severus was the adult, he was supposed to be the caregiver, not the other way around. A strange feeling bubbled in his chest, and it had been a year since he had last felt the emotion that he had nearly forgotten what it was. Merlin, he loved this kid. He could tolerate a little mothering for a week.

               “Well.” Madam Pomfrey glanced at Severus. “Only if Severus is okay with the plan. Honestly, I think having someone else around to assist you would be more beneficial for you.”

               Severus realized he was still glaring at Harry. Harry gave him a pleading look and Severus couldn’t help the small eye roll. He softened his features and gave Harry a small smile before nodding his head once.

               “Yes!” Harry cheered. He hugged Severus again, surprising Madam Pomfrey. “I’ll take good care of you, I promise. Just like you did for me.”

               “I’ll get his potions ready,” Madam Pomfrey said. She headed for her office to pack everything Severus would need.

               “You better not be overbearing,” Severus managed to whisper in Harry’s ear.

               “You better not be a difficult patient,” Harry shot back. He sat on the edge of Severus’s bed. “Then I won’t have to be overbearing.”

               Severus snorted. He missed his little banters with Harry, their evening teatime, their chess games. As much as he hated being mothered, he was looking forward to catching up with Harry about everything that had occurred this last year. He had not expected to survive the war, but this blessing could open a door to a new life, one he didn’t have to spend alone.

               “I can’t wait to go back home,” Harry said. He stood up and headed for the door. “I’m going to tell Hermione and Ron that you’re okay but then I’ll be right back. Don’t do anything strenuous while I’m gone!”

               Harry disappeared around the corner with those last words.

               Severus shook his head fondly. Harry was going to be a very overbearing nurse, but Severus was okay with that. He couldn’t wait to go home either.