"Morning!" Lucy cried cheerfully.

"Mmmm," the various Gryffindors murmured with mixed expressions of gloom and tiredness. 

"Whoa... what happened?" She asked worriedly, sliding into the open space across from Harry. Harry opened his mouth.

"Harrison insulted one of his roommates' mother, so he had to sleep in his parents' dorm. Meanwhile, we had to calm him down, which took hours, so none of us got very good sleep last night." Hermione complained snottily. Lucy rolled her eyes slightly at Hermione petulant tone before giving Harry a frown. 

"That doesn't seem like you Harry,"

"He was biting my head off for no reason! I'm allowed to be angry!" Harry argued in irritation. He'd been justifying himself all morning and it was starting to grate on his nerves. He took a deep breath before he gave her a smile. "Never mind all of us, how was your first night in Hufflepuff?"

"It was great! Susan and Ernie are really nice. And Justin was helping me with a few basic charms to make getting up quicker. Everyone in my dorm is really nice as well!"

"That's great! I'm really glad you're getting on well with everyone."

"Here you are Mr. Potter." Professor McGonagall cut in, handing out the timetables. "Miss Mathers, you ought to head back, Professor Sprout is handing these out as well."

"Okay! See you at lunch, Harry!" Lucy cried before rushing back to the other Hufflepuff first years.

"Ugh. This day just got so much worse!" Neville bemoaned.

"Umbridge then Snape?! Professor, are you trying to kill us?!" Ron whined. Minerva rolled her eyes.

"Professor Snape marks much fairer now Mr. Weasley. Continuing poor marks is no one's fault but your own."

"Hey, Harry! Maybe you could tutor us!" Neville piped up hopefully.

"I can try." Harry agreed slowly. "Not sure how good of a teacher I'll be though..."

"Let's head up to defence." Hermione insisted with a sigh. "Get Umbridge over with..."

"Agreed," Ron said with a sigh. They all arrived relatively early and settled in before Umbridge arrived. The Slytherins were watching them with smirking grins. Draco looked particularly smug.

"It's probably because most of their parents work at the ministry, so she'll go easy on them."

"My dad works there too!" Ron reminded her. Hermione winced.

"Well no offence Ronald but your dad doesn't exactly have a prestigious position." The teen grumbled under his breath grumpily.

"I wonder why we didn't have to buy any books this year." Pavarti piped up with a frown.

"Yeah, that was weird." Lavender agreed. Suddenly the office door opened and Umbridge began descending the stairs, a wide smile making her look toad-like as ever. 

"Good morning class!" She cried in that same sweet voice. The class parrotted back an uneven chorus of greetings.

"Tut tut! That won't do! Not at all!" She admonished sweetly. "When I say good morning, I want each of you to respond with 'good morning Professor Umbridge.' nice and clear. So... let's try again! Good morning class!" 

"Good morning Professor Umbridge!" The class cried in unison.

"And suddenly I'm back in primary," Harry whispered to Hermione who had to momentarily bite her lip to keep from laughing. A seat over Dean was struggling not to shake with repressed laughter. Seamus sent the black boy a dirty look which cut it somewhat. Umbridge had her back turned and seemed to have missed the entire thing as she wrote on the blackboard. The class was sure to return to full composure as she turned back around.

"Now! As you all know in your fifth year you will be taking the Ordinary Wizarding Levels, or O.W.L.s for short. They are standardized examinations which the ministry uses to determine your qualifications for your future careers."

"Does that also apply to careers with apprenticeships or continuing education?" Hermione demanded worriedly.

"Students will please raise their hands and wait to be called on in my classroom!" Umbridge snapped in irritation, suddenly losing her sweet voice. The class jumped and Hermione flinched before raising her hand. Umbridge smiled.

"Yes, Mrs. Granger?"

"As I was saying..." she began slowly. Umbridge looked like he wanted her to ask the whole thing all over again then sniffed and answered anyway.

"Not technically. Apprenticeships and continuing education are determined by your N.E.W.T. scores. However! Qualification for N.E.W.T. level classes is based entirely on your final O.W.L. scores, so in a way, yes!" The woman explained. "And as such, the ministry is taking the curriculum of this year extra seriously. You will be tested on every possible theoretical application of the spells of Defence Against the Dark Arts-"

"What about practicals?" Harry asked in confusion.

"Students must raise their hands!" Umbridge snapped. Harry frowned and raised his hand. Umbridge didn't bother calling him again.

"The ministry believes that a theoretical education will be more than sufficient to get you through your examinations with flying colours."

"You mean we're not going to be doing any magic?!" Ron cried in horror.

"Hand!" Umbridge snapped. But then she ignored Ron again. "The ministry is... concerned with the approach of your previous professors. You have had a different professor each year for five years. Of the four previous, only one has really been up to ministry standards."

"Well, the ministry was the one who got rid of Professor Lupin in the first place!" Harry complained. 

"Goodness no!" Umbridge cried in horror. "That man's very presence placed all of you at great risk!"

"Do you mean Professor Black then? He was alright! I loved his practicals." Dean argued. Harry would grudgingly admire that once Black wasn't working with him one-on-one, he was at least theoretically a good teacher.

"Sirius Black is not the sort of person best suited to a ministry-approved education plan!" Umbridge snarled.

"Surely not Lockhart?" Hermione argued, looking green at the concept.

"As I have come to understand, the man released a cage of Cornish pixies into a classroom of second years," Umbridge said with a sniff. The class let out a sigh of relief. All except Harry, whose eye began to twitch.

"So... Quirell." He said slowly. 

"Yes! Professor Quirell was an excellent professor! Teaching in a safe, non-threatening environment, encouraging research and caution and using practicals only with his most advanced classes." Umbridge praised.

"You're joking!" Ron cried in horror. "The guy had You-Know-Who on the back of his head!" Suddenly the chalk in Umbridge's hand snapped.

"Mr. Weasley! I will not have you spouting such blatant lies!"

"Lies? It wasn't a lie! The whole school knew about it! Ask anyone!" Every Gryffindor nodded heavily, even Seamus who was staring at Umbridge with the same silent expression he'd thrown at Harry last night. The Slytherins meanwhile were shrinking into their seats, and a few were averting their eyes, because one glance would reveal that they too agreed with the Gryffindors.

"That story is a despicable fabrication made up after the man's tragic accident to smear his reputation."

"Tragic accident?! He tried to bloody kill me!" Harry bellowed furiously. Umbridge scoffed.

"Obviously Mr. Potter, you were simply too young to understand what was really going on." Then she laughed. "Besides? Who would want to attack children?"

"What about death eaters?" Harry demanded. Umbridge pursed her lips coldly. "My family has been attacked by them loads of times! I was personally the target of two attacks in the same amount of years!"

"He's right! His whole family got killed by them in the summer before third year! They killed his cousin too! He was only twelve at the time!" Ron agreed though he felt a bit bad about bringing it up. Harry was too furious to care.

"It is not the job of children to defend themselves from death eaters! The ministry task force is working around the clock to protect you!"

"But what if they don't come in time? What if it's not just death eaters?! Voldemort is out there-" 

"ENOUGH!" Umbridge finally shrieked. The class stilled. The woman was breathing very heavily before her smile curled onto her face. "Detention, Mr. Potter."

"Huh?" Harry demanded in shock.

"8 o'clock. Tonight. My office." She finished with her sweet tone restored. Then she took a deep breath. "You have been told, that a certain dark wizard has risen once again. This is a lie." Harry growled under his breath. "It is meant to scare you. But I want to put you all at ease. He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named is Dead!" She took a deep breath. "Now! Onto the subject of your textbooks!"

Harry trudged down to potions feeling sorry for himself. In fact, everyone looked a bit miserable. Even the Slytherins looked put out. Turns out Umbridge's idea of a defence class was even more boring than Binns's lecturing. 

"This year will be the defining year of your potions education." Severus declared as he pushed open the door to his office. "It is make," he glanced around a few of the better students, sweeping a quick glance over Harry. "Or break." He levelled Neville with a look. It wasn't... harsh persay. But it definitely got the message across that he did not expect Neville to last very long. He took a deep sniff. "There once was a time when only those who achieved an Outstanding in their O.W.L.s would be allowed into my N.E.W.T.s program. But I have been encouraged by my fellow potions masters to... ease my admittance somewhat. But make no mistake! My standards have not lessened. I still expect the very best." He glanced around the room. Then he frowned. The speech was usually enough to light a fire under the more ambitious brewers in the class. But even Granger looked melancholy. "What happened?" He found himself blurting out. The class blinked at him when a tentative hand shot up.

"Permission to speak freely, professor?" Tracey asked candidly. Severus raised an eyebrow and flicked his wand towards the door.

"Go ahead, Miss. Davies." 

"It's Umbridge!" The black girl complained with a whine. "She's horrible!"

"Yeah! She's not letting us do any sort of magic!" Dean complained.

"She's making us read this absolutely rubbish textbook!" Theodore Nott complained, angrily fishing the useless textbook from his book bag.

"It's so outdated my grandad probably used it!" Ronald agreed with a snarl.

"How on earth can she claim to be working with the ministry?! Surely they require at least some level of aptitude!" Blaise Zabini injected with a scowl.

"Exactly! She couldn't possibly expect us to pass out practicals without actually practising!" Hermione argued. Suddenly Draco stood up and slammed his hands on the table.

"I know Father told me to listen to her," he grimaced and looked up at his head of house. "but honestly professor! It's just unacceptable!"

"Exactly!" Harry agreed. Draco shuddered.

"Can you hear this?! Slytherins and Gryffindors agreeing! That's how you know it's drastic!" The blond teen argued.

"Honestly this is kind of impressive..." Crabbe muttered.

"What is Mr. Crabbe?" Severus asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Well, she was supposedly sent by the ministry to fix things right? Well, she's only been here one day and she solved the house rivalry issues." Vincent murmured. Beside him, Gregory let out a croak of laughter.

"Hey yeah! She finally united the house!"

"United in our hatred of her!" Vincent finished with a grin. Severus was staring at them all looking amazed. Then he sighed, training his eyes to the floor. A moment later he let them drift closed.

"What I am about to say will not be popular. But I think that Mr. Malfoy has the right idea."

"What?!" Harry cried in horror. Draco also looked ill at the prospect. 

"Delores Umbridge was not sent to improve things. She was sent to spy on Professor Dumbledore, with the express wish of getting him removed. It is very likely that she will do anything in her power to achieve this goal. And I doubt she will bat an eyelash if doing so should require the removal of any problematic students. As I'm sure Harry has already informed you all. Since I told him this last night" Severus muttered. Harry flinched before clearing his throat.

"Let's say that a hypothetical student didn't take the advice of their parents. Who hypothetically work at the school where they go, and then they receive a detention from the teacher that their parents warned them about..."

"Hypothetically?" Severus drawled dryly, making the classes snicker.

"Yes! Hypothetically!" Harry insisted. "Would there be a way for the student to hypothetically... get out of it?"

"Not without the hypothetical son receiving a very harsh talking to from the hypothetical father." Severus snapped in frustration.

"Hey! I never said the student was a boy! Maybe it's a hypothetical daughter!"

"She wouldn't dare," Severus muttered under his breath before he huffed. "I'll see what I can do. But I'm telling your mother."

"But-" Harry cried in horror. Severus gave him a firm look and the teen shrunk down a bit before he sighed and peered at his shoes. 

Harry spent the rest of the day dejected, while various students snickered at his expense. At lunch, Lucy marched up to him with her hands on her hips with a scolding expression. He then had to sit through her admonishments, which somehow hurt more than Severus' scolding from earlier in the day. Transfiguration and charm were also a nightmare, as he had both subjects with the Slytherins and they would snicker every time anyone said 'hypothetically'. Something that neither professor could understand. He spent most of dinner in a state of dread since he still hadn't heard if his father had figured out how to get him out of his detention, which made it very hard to eat. 

"Mr. Potter." Emmeline drawled from behind him. "Come with me."

"Yes, professor." Harry moaned in defeat. Of course, his mum would give him a dressing down right before his detention. As soon as they left the Great Hall she took a deep breath.

"I am deeply disappointed in you," she began, refusing to look at him, which somehow made it worse. "After your father expressly stated to maintain your self-control and keep that temper of yours in check, twice now in as many days you have allowed it to get the better of you!" She finally turned to him with a very angry expression. "The most disappointing thing of all is that I know you can behave better. And yet since arriving at Hogwarts, you have shown a disgusting lack of maturity. Not only taunting your housemate but creating a scene in front of a teacher that you know is out to get you! So I don't want to hear about any further incidents with either your housemates or Delores Umbridge. Is that clear?"

"Yes, mum," Harry promised without a thought. If it meant never getting dressed down like this again, he'd be nice to Voldemort! 

"Good," Emmeline said with a relieved sigh. "Now go down to the dungeons. I believe your father has some tasks for you."

"Hem hem!" Umbridge coughed from behind them. Harry whipped around while Emmeline turned slowly and gave her an unimpressed look.

"Do you need a pepper-up Delores? That cough sounds wretched." She with a small smile. The pink-clad woman pursed her lips.

"I'm afraid that whatever tasks Severus has for Mr. Potter with have to wait. You see he is meant to be serving detention with me tonight."

"Ah," Emmeline said before she gave Umbridge a pitying look akin to one you might give a particularly stupid student or a moderately dumb dog. "Well, I'm afraid that's where you're wrong. You see it's Hogwarts policy that and child of a professor who attends is the full responsibility of that professor, and as such they are in charge of all of their detentions." Delores blinked and opened her mouth when Emmeline smiled and cut her off. "Oh, I assure you it's true. You can review the Hogwarts rule book if you like. I believe the library has a copy." Then she pushed Harry to turn back towards the dungeons. "March." She commanded, giving Harry a conspiratorial wink. Harry nodded, keeping his face as distraught as warranted before turning away. There was a moment of silence as Umbridge eyed Emmeline with a look reminiscent of a particularly grumpy cat.

"Well, that seems like a foolish rule." Delores finally said with a cheerful smile after that momentary scowling. "In my experience, parents tend to be much too lax with their children. They never quite manage to drive the message home." At this, Emmeline gave an almost genuine laugh.

"Oh trust me, Delores, Harry will get the message. I believe his father has him dividing demiguise saliva and dissecting bats. He should have well and truly received the message about 30 minutes in. And you had better believe Severus will be keeping him until just before curfew."

"Hmmm," Delores said with pursed lips. Then she shook her head. "We will see about that professor... oh I'm terribly sorry, but I seem to have forgotten your name." Delores declared candidly. Emmeline frowned. There was a thinly veiled threat there, but she couldn't quite figure out what it meant.

"Emmeline. Emmeline Vance." She provided. At this Delores blinked.

"Vance... your father-"

"Augustus Vance, of V & Karmichael's publishing house, yes," Emmeline responded with an exhausted sigh. "My grandfather is Arnold Cleansweep, founder and CEO of the Cleansweep broom-making Company

"Well! Why ever did you decide to go into teaching?" Delores demanded with a broad smile. Emmeline froze. This was a trap. She was trying to find something out, Emmeline just wasn't sure what.

"Well, I have dabbled in archeology throughout the years. I have a runic mastery and spent several years as an architect. But I've always been fascinated with history. The old professor, ancient really the man was a ghost, was... encouraged to take a leave of absence. I took over afterwards."

"I don't recall an advertisement for the position in the Daily Prophet. How was it you found out about it?"

"Severus." Emmeline blurted out. "He told me. After Albus told him. Suggested I offer my services to him. Albus was very impressed and hired me on the spot."

"I see," Delores said with an air of intrigue. "And why did Severus tell you?"

"He knew I was looking for a change of pace. Commissions are well and good, but there are only so many ward walls one can make before they get bored."

"You're close?" Delores demanded.

"We're engaged actually," Emmeline declared, flashing her ring. At this, Delores blinked and took a step back. Then suddenly a slow grin crept into her face.

"I see," she said slowly, sounding surprisingly sinister. "Well, congratulations. I'll leave you to your night."

"Right," Emmeline responded suddenly uneasy.

Something she said had been wrong. But she wasn't quite sure what. And somehow she knew it would not end well for anyone.