"How was it being back at work?" Alexei asked Lucius. All four of them were sat in the dining room, eating their first meal in their new home. It was later in the evening, around seven, as Lucius arrived later from the Ministry.

"The place is in an uproar about Riddle's return," Lucius said. "They are determined to hide it, and Fudge refuses to even acknowledge the mere idea."

"So, same as always?" Alexei said in amusement, raising an eyebrow.

Lucius rolled his eyes. "I am unsure how I feel being back, but at least I will be able to keep an eye on what is happening at the Ministry."

"May be very helpful in the next year," Severus said.

"I imagine so," Lucius agreed. "Now, Harry, how are you liking it here so far?"

Harry swallowed his bite of chicken. "It's amazing. I love it. Gets really quiet though which will take some getting used to."

"You haven't experienced quiet often?" Lucius asked casually, glancing at Severus and Alexei. It was a rare occasion when Harry would discuss any past abuse or other traumatic moments from his life. Whenever he did, they made sure to keep the conversation calm and casual.

Harry shook his head. "The Dursleys were pretty loud people. Even locked in my cupboard, Dudley always made sure to stomp on the stairs or knock on the door or yell at me through the door. Even at night, if I was awake, I could always hear Uncle Vernon snoring and Dudley sneaking a round on a video game."

"And as far as Gryffindors go, the Tower wasn't very quiet either, I imagine," Severus said and Harry chuckled.

"Dean's the only quiet one besides me, but once he's with Seamus," Harry said, shaking his head in amusement. "Well, Neville's pretty quiet, but he's opened up and, again, once they all get together, it's a riot."

"Well, quiet is quite nice sometimes," Alexei said. "Calming quiet anyways."

Harry nodded, but didn't say anything. Right now, the silence only allowed thoughts and memories of the graveyard to play again and again. He supposed he just had to do his best to keep busy and keep his mind occupied. It couldn't be too hard, at least for a little while. He was in a new place after all.

"Can I ask something?" Harry asked suddenly as a random thought crossed his mind.

"Always," Severus said.

"What happened to Karkaroff?" Harry asked. "I know he was a Death Eater, but he wasn't in the graveyard."

Again, the three men glanced at each other. Harry also never mentioned the night of the Third Task and the graveyard. They wanted him to talk about it and strongly encouraged it, but he had yet to do so. They all knew he was haunted and plagued by nightmares, but all they could do was wait and hope he talked to them eventually.

"Karkaroff fled as soon as we were called," Lucius said. "Man had always been a coward."

"He will either stay in hiding until Riddle is killed, or Riddle will find him and kill him for his betrayal," Severus added.

Harry was surprised how calmly his father spoke of someone being murdered. He had seen three murders this year and they haunted every moment. Was Severus fine with murder? Then it hit him. Severus was a Death Eater, loyal or not. Had he ever killed someone?

"Harry?"

Harry looked at the three men and found his throat tight. He needed to be alone for a while. "May I be excused?" he asked tensely, nearly dropping his fork on his plate.

Slightly confused, Severus nodded. "You may." He and the others watched as Harry pushed away from the table and rushed upstairs. They looked at each other, all wondering what had just happened inside the child's mind.

Upstairs, Harry hurried into his bedroom and almost slammed the door shut behind him, leaning against it. His mind racing, he went and curled up on his brand-new window seat, staring out at the valley.

Had Severus killed people? Had Lucius? Had Alexei, despite not being a Death Eater? Had any of them purposely hurt or tortured someone? The ghost of the Cruciatus Curse fell over him and he shuddered in remembrance. Had any of them ever used that curse on someone?

What did it take to be able to torture or kill a person? When faced with his greatest enemy, he still hadn't been able to hurt or kill Voldemort. So, what kind of person did you have to be to do those things? Was it a way someone naturally was or was it learned? Did you have to be like Voldemort, seemingly totally evil and soulless, and barely human? Did Severus, Alexei, or Lucius have anything like that inside them? Would Severus and Lucius have to torture and kill again now Voldemort was back?

He grabbed one of the little pillows on the window seat, and held it tightly in his arms against his chest. He blew out a breath and let his head rest against the window. The silence began to descend on him again. That night began to fly forward, determined to be remembered. He closed his eyes, hoping to fight the memories. He was unsuccessful, and he saw a flash of green, Cedric's body, and Voldemort's gleeful snake-like face. His body tensed with remembered pain, his closed eyes filled with tears, and his arm and scar stung sharply. His breath started coming in gasps and tears fell, hot against his cheeks.

He was getting lost in the graveyard all over again. He jumped violently at the hand that touched his leg. His head spun and his eyes stared wildly. A part of him was still back in the graveyard. He was afraid a part of him would always be trapped there.

"Harry, focus on me, child," a comforting voice said. "You're home. You're safe."

Harry continued to stare at Severus who was knelt on the floor beside the window seat. His mind cleared enough for him to recognize where he was and who was with him. He put his pillow aside and instead wrapped his arms around Severus' neck, burying his face in the man's shoulder as he worked to calm down and fully return to his bedroom.

"You need to talk about this, child," Severus said quietly into his ear.

Harry turned his head on the man's shoulder so he was now looking at the wall bookcase. He knew Severus was right. He knew the three of them were waiting for him to talk, but he just couldn't do it...not yet. He had experienced it, sure, but he couldn't say the details out loud.

"Are you alright?" Severus asked gently.

At this, Harry pulled away and sat back up on the window seat. He quickly swiped at the drying tears on his cheeks. He gazed down at his guardian, and nodded. "I'm okay."

Severus sighed, but let it go. He stood and pulled over the desk chair, taking a seat. "Do you want to tell me what happened at dinner."

Harry shifted uncomfortably as those original thoughts and concerns returned. He didn't want to say anything. He didn't want to cause any problems. He didn't want Severus to think he was thinking badly about the man, believing the worst.

"Harry, what is it?" Severus pushed.

Will Severus be upset with him, or angry or disappointed?

"I just..." Harry started, "I was just wondering if you had ever...killed anyone before? You know, since you're a, uh, a..."

"Death Eater?" Severus finished, raising an eyebrow.

Harry felt his face get hot as he gave a tiny nod, his eyes dropping to his lap. He heard another sigh from his newly adoptive father and internally cringed. He never should have said anything.

"Yes," Severus eventually said quietly. Harry slowly raised his eyes to look at Severus. The man didn't look angry or upset, but just a little bit sad. "I have killed people. More than I'd care to admit."

"As have I."

Harry looked over Severus' shoulder at Lucius in his bedroom doorway. He looked sad too.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked," Harry said. "It doesn't matter, you don't have to-"

"It clearly matters if it has bothered you this much," Severus said.

"I'm sorry," Harry whispered.

"What would you like to know?" Lucius asked, moving to sit on the bed.

Harry fidgeted, wringing his hands in his lap. "Did you ever like killing people?"

"The act itself, no, I did not," Severus said, "but I enjoyed the power and control I had."

"At the time, there were some I felt happy to kill because of my beliefs at the time," Lucius admitted. "I feel much shame and disappointment now."

"Why did you kill people?"

"I was told to by Riddle," Severus said.

"Same for me," Lucius added.

"So, you never killed someone by your own choice?" Harry asked.

Both men shook their heads.

"Will you have to kill people again?"

"More than likely," Lucius said.

"We will do our best to shield you from the things we must do," Severus said. "We will never tell you about our meetings and actions unless there is something you need to know."

Harry furrowed his eyebrows slightly. "But shouldn't you talk about things?"

"The way you have?" Severus said and Harry flushed lightly. "We have outlets and people to talk to. Remember, we have been through this before."

"And the things that go on in those meetings and the things we must do are not things you should know about," Lucius said.

Harry tried to protest.

"We will not keep you in the dark about things you need to know, but some things you do not need to know about," Severus told him.

Harry was glad he wouldn't be left out, but he also didn't want the men to hide the things they went through. Just because he hadn't opened up about everything, it didn't mean he didn't know it was healing to talk about trauma.

"I still think you should talk about stuff too," Harry said. "You tell me to all the time."

"Because you are still young enough to heal and not become the way we are," Lucius said and Harry frowned.

"What do you mean?"

"We have made the choices we have because of our anger and bitterness," Severus said. "These are things we held on to, and we have grown into angry and bitter men. We never healed from anything in our lives."

"But you can," Lucius said. "We do not want you to grow up angry."

"You're not that bad," Harry said and both men raised their eyebrows.

"Surely you have not forgotten the first three years of our relationship," Severus said.

"And our interactions in your second year," Lucius added.

"Well, yeah, but you're not that way anymore," Harry said.

"Not towards you," Lucius said pointedly.

"We are the same as we always have been," Severus said. "I still feel just as much anger and bitterness and resentment as I have most of my life. Have you made it slightly easier to deal with it all? Yes, but it is still there."

Lucius nodded in agreement.

Harry didn't say anything for a while, thinking. "When do you know it's too late to heal? I've always been pretty angry too actually. It's gotten worse this year. I feel mad a lot, and since Riddle came back, it feels like it's getting worse."

He wasn't sure he wanted to admit that something inside him had felt different ever since Voldemort's resurrection.

"And that is why we encourage you to talk," Severus said. "You are only fourteen. You can accept and heal from what you've gone through."

"And there is one difference between you and us when we were your age," Lucius said and Harry looked at him curiously. "You have had people that care about you, something we unfortunately lacked."

"Don't you worry about these two," Alexei said as he suddenly joined them all in the room. "I am resuming our therapy sessions. I decided as soon as Riddle returned."

Severus just rolled his eyes.

"It is not necessary, Alexei," Lucius said.

"I disagree and it is not optional," Alexei said firmly and the other two men just sighed. Alexei met Harry's eyes and winked. Harry gave a small smile.

"Well, it has been quite a day and it is late," Severus said and Harry glanced outside to find it had gotten quite a bit darker. "Perhaps it is time to get ready for bed?"

Harry nodded. He was feeling fairly tired now. It had been a busy day.

"Alright, we will leave you to it," Severus said, he and Lucius getting to their feet.

Harry started to leave the window seat, but stopped as he had a thought. "I had one more question," he said and the three men turned back to him. "Maybe we could make a deal? You really want me to tell you about things and I know I should, but I think you all should tell me about stuff to. So, maybe every other night, I talk about one thing and so do one of you. Talk about all the awful things, of course, but can also talk about some good and random things."

The three men glanced at each other, clearly considering his proposition.

"Sounds like a deal," Severus said, "but not tonight. I think there's been enough reminiscing today."

"It is an excellent idea," Alexei said.

Harry smiled again, glad they liked it and had agreed. He still didn't really want to talk about all the bad things he'd experienced, but he knew he should and he wanted to learn more about the men that had become his family.

"Alright, get ready and go to bed," Severus said. "We'll see you in the morning."

Harry nodded. "G'night."

"Sleep well, pkk3;kl5;l6;l2;," Alexei said and the three left his bedroom, closing the door behind them.

Blowing out a breath to try and release the tension that had filled his body, he readied himself for bed and crawled into his brand new bed. Exhausted and comfy in his new bed, it didn't take long for him to fall asleep. Unfortunately, it also didn't take long for him to be plagued by nightmares once again.

The days turned into weeks and, in no time, it was Harry's fifteenth birthday. The month of July had been some of the greatest moments of his life. Despite his persistent nightmares, it was the happiest summer he'd ever had. They all went to the valley, Harry got to fly whenever he wanted, Alexei told him fantastical histories, Severus was helping him practice his brewing, Lucius played chess with him...it was amazing.

It was a family.

They had all stuck to the deal they made that first night as well. Every other night, he told them one thing about his life and one of them did the same. Some nights had gotten very emotional, but he learned a lot about the men taking care of him. It had become quite the bonding time.

Everyone else was still asleep when he awoke on the morning of his birthday. It was pretty early. The sun was only just beginning to rise. He quietly left his room, went downstairs, and headed out to the front porch. He sat on the porch swing, tucking his legs underneath him as he stared out at the valley.

He was fifteen. He had made it to fifteen. More often than he'd like in his short life, he hadn't been sure he would see his next birthday. This last year had, of course, been the worst of them all so far. Now, Voldemort was back and war was coming. There would be plenty of other times where he would wonder if he would survive or not. Things always got worse before they got better.

"You are up very early."

Harry glanced over his shoulder Lucius who had joined him on the porch. The blonde came over and sat beside him on the swing.

"Which one this time?" Lucius asked.

"The new one with the door," Harry said. Outside the graveyard nightmares, he had begun to have a strange new one. He was walking down a dark hall towards a door. Sometimes he reached it, sometimes he didn't. When he did, it would open and he would be in a dark room with a single bright orb. That orb he was never able to reach. He always woke up with a burning scar.

"Scar didn't hurt as bad this time though," Harry said. "Just felt I needed some air."

Lucius nodded in understanding.

After a silence, Harry spoke. "The night in the graveyard, did you see Draco?"

Lucius gave a quiet sigh. "I did. I almost couldn't believe it."

"He misses you," Harry said, "but he's happy. I saw him that night in my last dream with Ron too. He's happy and he's happy for you, for us. He's glad you found more family."

"As am I," Lucius said. "I love you just as much as Draco. I do regret the two of you did not have more a chance to be friends."

"Me too," Harry said. "I had something I wanted to ask you. All three of you have done so much for me this year. You gave me a home and a family after I had lost them. Severus has given me more than I ever imagined with the adoption. Alexei has been the best friend I've had since Ron while also taking care of me. You've cared for me more than you ever had to, especially after Draco and Narcissa. You stuck around when you didn't have to, and helped me. I never thought if I got a family, it would be any of you, but I couldn't imagine anything else."

Harry paused and Lucius just waited patiently.

"Lucius, will you be my godfather?" he finally asked.

Lucius looked at him in surprise before his face softened and his eyes filled with tears. He pulled Harry to his side and kissed the top of his head.

"I would be honoured," the man whispered.

Harry wrapped his arms around Lucius' torso and hugged him tight. They stayed like that while watching the sun rise over the mountains. This were going to be hard, and everything he loved would be at risk, but he would fight. He would fight for his family.

"Happy birthday, my child," Lucius murmured and Harry held tighter.

He would see his next birthday.

THE END