Harry sighed as he opened Hedwig's cage, allowing her to step out onto the desk. He gently stroked her soft feathers and let her nip at his finger lightly. He gazed lovingly at her, saddened by his decision despite knowing it was for the best. He took a treat from the bag he had yet to pack and gave it to her.

"I want you to go to Hogwarts, alright?" Harry said, still petting her. "You'll be safe there."

She hooted quietly and tilted her head at him. She almost looked sad and it made tears burn his eyes. He hated the idea of sending her away, but he knew he had to, otherwise she'd be stuck in her cage in Grimmauld Place for the next month.

"I'll be okay," Harry said, choosing to ignore how hard he'd fallen back into his suffocating grief the last few days.

With his birthday approaching, he'd been plagued with the knowledge that he would be going to Grimmauld Place which had made him think of Sirius more and more. On top of that, Snape had been busy and unable to take a guard shift for several days, leaving Harry alone and the ledge Snape somehow kept him from now lay immediately before his feet again.

Sighing again, he opened the window, briefly gazing out into the dark. After a few seconds, he turned back to Hedwig. "Please, girl, for me?" he said. "I need you safe and that's at Hogwarts."

She hooted at him again, nuzzling into his hand. His eyes stung at her worry.

"I'll be fine. I won't be alone," Harry said, pushing down his nerves, unsure what it was going to be like at Grimmauld Place. "I'll be at Hogwarts in a month."

Hedwig hopped up onto the window sill. Harry smiled at her, stroking her one last time. She nipped his finger, hooted, and then took off through the window. Harry watched her, silhouetted against the half-moon. He fought back his tears, sad to send his beloved familiar away and terrified she wouldn't make it to Hogwarts.

Once he could no longer see her, he swiped at the single tear that was hovering just on the edge of his eye. He waved his wand at Hedwig's cage and, muttering the incantation, shrunk it down to fit in his trunk. As he put her cage inside, his eyes spotted the mirror fragment as the lamp light glinted off it where it was tucked down the side of his trunk.

He froze, eyes locked on the shard and fingers tightening on the edge of his trunk. Cold washed over him and he felt himself begin to shake, his eyes burning and his heart pounding. In the bit of mirror he could see, he watched Sirius fall again and again, face frozen on the shocked laughter. He slammed his eyes shut, hoping to block the image, only to have the memory play on the back of his eyelids. Beneath the cold, it felt like a fire was blazing in his chest, burning at his insides while his skin felt like ice. The air around him began to feel like waves, washing over and crashing away from him, leaving behind a charge.

He couldn't stop watching the green light hit Sirius and the veil take him away. He couldn't look away from the frozen face, couldn't change it to anything else. He couldn't remember Sirius in any other way, couldn't remember any of the joy or mischief or love he knew once lit the grey eyes. He was trapped, stuck watching the result of his sheer stupidity.

"Whoa! What is going on?"

The voice broke into his haze of despair and his eyes opened. Every piece of furniture in the room was levitating, and the light and lamp were flickering almost violently. The air had a shimmer to it from the amount of magic and power flooding from him. He could just barely feel the bouncy magic in the room with him, tinged with concern. He didn't know who the magic belonged to and looked over at the fireplace, finding Tonks gazing around with wide eyes.

Harry shut his eyes again, knowing he needed to get control. They hadn't restarted Occlumency yet and he'd failed at it miserably, but he tried to remember what Snape had told him about being calm, in control, and clearing the mind.

Despite it being one of the places he hated most, he pictured the cupboard under the stairs and closed the door on Sirius falling through the veil. He could tell it wouldn't hold, the cupboard door falling off its hinges, but it would do for now. No longer trapped in the Ministry, Harry was able to focus on his magic and pulled it back, finally stopping the waves of power. The furniture crashed back to the floor, toppling over, cracking, and splintering. It was uncomfortable, forcing the magic back inside, likely due to how charged it was. It was desperate to escape him, but was being kept down.

Rolling his head with the aches now emanating through his body, he slammed his trunk shut and turned to Tonks. "Sorry about that," he said. "Just got a bit upset."

Tonks didn't seem convinced as she looked at the desk chair, two of its legs broken off and a crack in the center of the seat. She gave him a look full of uncertainty.

"I'm fine," Harry said shortly. "I've got it under control." A complete lie, especially without Snape's training.

"Right," Tonks said slowly. "Well, you ready to get out of here?"

To Grimmauld Place? Not bloody likely, Harry thought bitterly even as he bent to pick up his trunk. He waved his wand over it, muttering a Shrinking Spell.

"Yeah, sure," Harry said dully.

"Well, just step on in," Tonks said, seeming to be put off by his lack of excitement. "This fireplace is only connected to headquarters, so it'll take you there automatically."

Harry fought against rolling his eyes at the explanation, reminding himself that only Snape knew that he knew anything. The rest of them were too stupid or willfully ignorant, thinking Harry hadn't known anything about the guard. So, Harry just gave a single nod and stepped into the fireplace, instantly pulled to Grimmauld Place. He caught himself on the nearby sofa as he stumbled into the dark sitting room.

"Harry, dear."

Harry looked up and found Mrs. Weasley walking towards him, her wand lit. She gave him a sympathetic smile before pulling him into a hug. He grimaced over her shoulder at her pity, but wiped the emotion as she released him.

"You head up to bed, dear," she said. "You are in Ron's room."

Harry nodded and began to leave the sitting room. When he heard the Floo flare, he turned and found Tonks and Mrs. Weasley talking quietly.

"Who's at the Burrow?" he asked and the two women looked at him.

"Don't you worry about that," Mrs. Weasley said placatingly and Harry frowned. "Up to bed now."

Annoyed, Harry left the sitting room and headed upstairs. He studiously ignored the room he knew was Sirius' as he passed, heading to the room he'd shared with Ron the previous summer. He pushed the door open and was surprised to find Ron sitting up in his bed, flipping through a Quidditch magazine by the light of a lamp.

"Hey," Harry said quietly.

Ron gave him a hard stare that bordered on a glare. He tossed his magazine on the bedside table, flicked off the lamp, and threw himself down on his bed. He turned on his side so his back was to Harry and pulled his blanket up to his shoulder aggressively, leaving Harry confused at his friend's reaction.

Sighing, Harry took his trunk out of his pocket and returned it to its proper size, pushing it to sit on the floor at the foot of his bed. He changed into his pajamas, grabbed his last attempt at his snake carving, and climbed into bed. He stared up at the ceiling through the dark, turning his snake over in his hands absently, subtly bleeding the restless magic he could feel into the piece of wood. As he settled his excess magic and rolled the wooden snake almost hypnotically, he began to relax.

He was beginning to drift off into what he thought could have been his first peaceful sleep in months when he was startled awake by commotion downstairs. He and Ron flew up in their beds at the same time and dashed downstairs. There was a crowd in the foyer now, all chattering and moving frantically while trying to remain quiet. Bill was being supported by Mr. Weasley who was bleeding from his forehead while talking to Mrs. Weasley. Tonks was fluttering around Lupin while Moody was aggressively examining Charlie. No one seemed to be seriously injured, Bill seeming to be the worst, but it didn't stop Harry's stomach from twisting painfully.

"Bill! Bloody hell!" Ron shouted, shoving past Harry to run to his family.

"Ron!" Mrs. Weasley said. "You are supposed to be in bed."

"What happened?" Ron asked.

"Exactly what we had planned, boy, now go to bed," Moody said gruffly.

"Everyone is alright, dear," Mrs. Weasley said.

"Obviously not!" Ron exclaimed, pointing to Bill who was growing paler and limper as blood soaked into his clothes.

"That is enough," Mr. Weasley said firmly. "Go to bed, boys. We will talk about this tomorrow."

He dragged Bill into the sitting room, Fleur and Mrs. Weasley following, while the others split up to the kitchen or study. Harry was taken aback at the glare Ron gave him when the redhead turned and pushed past him on the stairs. Frowning, Harry followed Ron back to their room.

"This is all your fault!" Ron shouted as soon as Harry was in the room.

Harry blinked. "What are you talking about?"

"My family and home were attacked because of you!" Ron yelled.

Anger began to rise in Harry.

"I didn't make this plan," Harry sad. "I had nothing to do with this."

"It's all always about you!" Ron yelled. "Protecting you! Helping you! Following you! Saving you! Who cares who gets hurt as long as you're protected!"

Harry glared. "I never asked for any of that!"

"Must be nice to have the world do anything for you!" Ron yelled. "Do you even know how many people have gotten hurt because of you? How many have died? Not like you need to care since if one dies, ten more will be waiting in line."

Harry stiffened, balling his hands into fists, knowing where Ron was going. Ron stepped close so they were nearly nose to nose.

"You might not care if you kill your family, but you don't get to kill mine," Ron said lowly and angrily.

His anger spiked and his magic lashed out. Harry shoved Ron's chest and the redhead was thrown across the room, landing on his bed. Ron stared at him with wide eyes, flinching when the lightbulb in the lamp exploded.

"What is wrong with you?" Ron demanded. "Get away from me, freak!"

A crack appeared in the room's window and the air began to crackle with Harry's unstable, rushing magic.

"With pleasure," Harry ground out.

He stormed over to grab his trunk and stomped from the room, flinging the door open. He stepped into the corridor just as Mrs. Weasley came from downstairs and Hermione, Ginny, and the twins left their rooms.

"What is going on up here?" Mrs. Weasley demanded. She looked at Harry with a frown, obviously feeling the magic still rolling off him. "Harry, dear, are you alright?"

"I'm fine," Harry said shortly. "Ron's the one with the problem."

He walked around Mrs. Weasley and headed for Sirius' room. He walked in, slamming the door behind him. He heard voices begin to rise in the corridor and another wave of magic washed over the room. A click indicated the door locking and the lack of voices told him he'd silenced the room. He gazed around the room, his chest tightening with every detail he picked out that made him picture Sirius' smiling, laughing face only for it to be consumed by green light and a flowing veil.

He threw his trunk away from him, letting it thud heavily in the center of the floor. He moved to the bed just to the right of the door and sat on the floor, back against the bed. He bent his knees, draped his arms over them, and continued looking around, letting despair fill him and magic seep out of him, turning the air electric. He looked at the bedside table, and his heart clenched when he spotted a photo of teenage Marauders and the mirror. He stared at them for a long while before shutting his eyes just as tears began to pour down his cheeks. He buried his face in his knees and sobbed.

"Potter?"

The call of his name and knock on the door pulled Harry from the sleep he hadn't realized he'd fallen into. He blinked, eyes sore from tiredness and crying, and lifted his head. He cringed at the pain in his neck, back, and buttocks from sleeping sitting on the floor against the bed. He rubbed his neck, rolling his head and wincing at the pops.

"Potter, if you are alive, open this door."

Harry rolled his eyes and waved his wand at the door, muttering, "Alohomora." There was a click and he looked over his shoulder when he heard the door open. He watched Snape walk to the foot of the bed and stare down at him. "Couldn't open it yourself?"

"It is called privacy, Potter, though I forgive you for not knowing the term," Snape said and Harry turned away, facing forward again.

"Sorry," he mumbled. "What happened last night?"

"The arrangement occurred as planned," Snape said. Harry looked up at Snape again, annoyed at the vague response. Snape sighed. "Six Order members in addition to Arthur Weasley set up at the Burrow which was subsequently attacked by ten Death Eaters. Injuries were gained on both sides, the Burrow sustained fairly extensive fire damage, and two Death Eaters were captured."

Harry's face tightened at the news. "Is everyone okay?"

"Bill Weasley was the worst of it with several severe lacerations, but he is already mostly healed," Snape said. "The others are completely healed."

"Good," Harry said quietly before sighing. "I didn't want any of this."

"I am aware, but it was the decision of the Order," Snape said.

"Are you going to be in trouble with Voldemort?" Harry asked.

"I will be fine," Snape said. "Now, get downstairs. Your gaggle of redheads and Gryffindors are waiting for you."

Harry looked up at the man again, a small smirk playing on his lips. "Feeling outnumbered, Professor?"

"A commonality in my life, Potter," Snape said with a weary sigh that made Harry laugh lightly. "Go, before I levitate you down there myself."

Harry climbed to his feet and quickly changed clothes with his wand before walking around Snape to the door. Before leaving, he turned back to the professor.

"Are we still training?" Harry asked. He knew Snape had said they would continue at Grimmauld Place, but he also knew things could easily change.

"We will resume in two days," Snape said. "We will begin Occlumency as well as dueling to help with your excess magic."

"Duelling?" Harry repeated excitedly and Snape nodded. "Wait, I'm duelling you?"

"Unless you wish for another trainer," Snape said.

"Bloody hell, you're going to murder me," Harry said with a groan.

"Think of it as incentive," Snape said with a smirk before shoving Harry into the hallway. "Go eat already."

Harry chuckled and watched Snape head upstairs before going downstairs himself. As he drew closer to the kitchen, his stomach twisted more and more until he was in pain and feeling ill. He remembered his fight with Ron, the horrible things his friend had shouted. Hurt and anger boiled inside, stirring up his magic once again. He pushed it all down and walked into the kitchen, faltering slightly when the full table turned to him.

"Good morning, Harry, dear, and happy birthday," Mrs. Weasley said, coming over to hug him again. "How are you this morning?"

"Sure, because he's the one that fought Death Eaters or got thrown across the room by a crazy person last night," Ron muttered, stabbing at his sausages.

"Ronald!" Mrs. Weasley snapped while Hermione swatted Ron's arm. He just glared at his mother and Hermione, avoiding looking at Harry all together. "Sit, sit," Mrs. Weasley said and guided Harry to one of the empty chairs, across from Ron and beside Lupin. He gave a tight smile as Mrs. Weasley slid a plate full of breakfast in front of him and proceeded to slowly pick at it. Quiet conversations carried on around the table except between Harry and his friends. Ron was stonily silent and would not move his eyes from his breakfast. Hermione kept glancing between Harry and Ron, obviously unsure what to do or say.

"Professor McGonagall dropped off your letters early this morning," Mrs. Weasley said, handing envelopes to Harry, Ron, and Hermione.

Harry frowned at the weight of his letter and the odd, hard shape that seemed to be accompanying the parchment. He tore open the envelope and pulled out two pieces of parchment. One was his normal letter with the year's list of books and supplies, but the other was a short note.

Dear Mr. Potter,

Due to your years of dedication and your display of skill, I am pleased to offer you the position of Gryffindor's Quidditch Captain for the upcoming school year.

Your mother, father, and godfather would be proud.

Congratulations, Mr. Potter.

Professor M. McGonagall

Harry blinked, uncomprehendingly, and tipped over his envelope. A small gold badge clattered to the table. He stared at it, still trying to understand as well as breathe past the mention of his parents and Sirius.

"Prefect! Oh, Hermione, how wonderful!"

Harry looked away from his badge at Mrs. Weasley's exclamation, finding her examining a shiny badge while Hermione beamed with shy pride.

"What the bloody hell is this?" Ron said and Harry watched him snatch up the golden badge. "Quidditch Captain? You got Quidditch Captain?"

Harry said nothing, just staring at his friend.

"Congratulations, Harry," Tonks said with a wide smile.

"Yeah, good work," Charlie said.

"James and Sirius would be so proud and excited," Lupin said and the fist around Harry's heart squeezed harder.

"Sure," Ron sneered, tossing the badge back onto the table. "Too bad they're dead."

"Ron!" Mr. and Mrs. Weasley and Hermione snapped.

"No, don't act like it's not true," Ron said. "He breaks the rules, gets people killed, and he gets a reward. Everyone, risk your lives because he's Harry bloody Potter and the rest of us mean nothing."

Harry glowered at Ron. "I didn't ask you to go to the Ministry. I told you to stay behind actually."

"You don't have to ask. We're supposed to want to just lay down and die for you," Ron said. "My own family's done it. Cedric. Sirius."

"Ron!" Mrs. Weasley yelled.

"I didn't ask for any of it," Harry ground out.

"Next one to step up to be your replacement family best be ready to die," Ron said. "Might as well do it yourself. Want us to just line up for you?"

"Ronald!" Mrs. Weasley yelled again.

"You know it should have been you all these times, right?" Ron said.

Harry felt his magic rush away from him, and every single glass and cup on the table exploded, making people scream in shock.

"Dangerous freak!" Ron shouted.

Harry jumped to his feet as the table began to shake. "If you're so worried about dying, why are you still my friend?"

"Who said I was?" Ron said.

Harry winced at the pain. "Well, wait long enough, and I'll be gone for good. You'll be safe from me in no time."

"Good," Ron said.

Eyes burning at the rage and hatred in Ron's face, Harry kicked his chair away, grabbed the badge, and left the kitchen.

"RONALD WEASLEY!" he heard Mrs. Weasley shriek as he hurried from the room.

In the foyer, he was about to head down the corridor that led to the back door and charmed backyard when he spotted Snape standing on the first landing of the stairs. They stared at each other for several seconds before Harry broke the contact and continued outside.