Harry stared at the huge, gated, grassy backyard, charmed to exist given it was behind a townhouse in London, while turning over the Quidditch badge in his hands. It was a cloudy day, typical for London, and a perfect match for his mood. He heard the door open behind him, but he didn't react. Snape lowered himself to sit next to Harry on the step and they sat together in silence.

"Any chance you hate me enough to just kill me right now?" Harry asked dully after a long while.

"No such luck today, Mr. Potter," Snape said.

"Shame," Harry muttered, looking down at the badge in his hands. "I've never wanted anyone to die for me."

"I know."

"It is my fault that they're all dead. It should have been me."

"That we disagree on."

"Ron's right. Anyone close to me will die."

"We are at war. If anyone dies, that is the reason, not you. You do not have that much power in this world."

Harry didn't respond, unsure what to say. He frowned at the badge, swiping his thumb over it to clear a smudge absently.

"Congratulations," Snape said.

"I suppose you fought against the decision," Harry said.

"I had no part. It is solely the decision of the Head of House and headmaster," Snape said.

"If you were a part of it?" Harry asked.

"No," Snape said. "You are best for the position."

Harry finally looked at the professor, eyebrow raised. "Am I actually dead? Was that a compliment?"

"Birthday goodwill," Snape said. "It ends in twelve hours."

Harry's lips twitched and he hummed in amusement. He was turning back to the yard when Snape held out a box wrapped with a simple black bow. He took it curiously, putting his badge aside and tugging on the bow. He pulled the ribbon off and opened the box, finding two items sitting inside: a book simply titled Magical Theory and a very familiar wand. Shakily, he carefully picked up the wand, tears springing to his eyes.

"I went back to the Department of Mysteries on the Dark Lord's orders to confirm there was nothing left of the prophecy. I found Black's wand near the veil. Had the Ministry found it, it would have been destroyed," Snape explained. "Despite my personal feelings for the man, it seems like something that should be in your possession."

Harry swallowed thickly, placing the wand back into the box gingerly. "Thank you, Professor. For the book as well."

"Happy birthday, Mr. Potter," Snape said and Harry smiled down at his gift. "Your friend is incorrect. You do not deserve to die."

"You would have agreed with him the last five years," Harry said, flipping casually through his new book.

"I have never wanted you dead," Snape said. "You're a child."

Harry sighed. "I'm just tired. I wish I could choose when I die instead of waiting for Dumbledore's command. I just want something to be my choice for once." He flicked at the corner of the pages. "You know, if you killed me, you wouldn't have to worry about all the problems I cause you anymore."

"I am not going to kill you, Potter."

"Why not? No one will care if I'm gone. No one cares that I'm here."

"Because I would much prefer you have a chance to truly live," Snape said and Harry looked at him, surprised at the sentiment as well as touched. "This will all pass."

"What will I have left at the end of it all?" Harry said, looking out at the yard again, feeling lost and alone and small. "What will be left of me?"

"Strength. Bravery," Snape said. "The you waiting to live."

Harry stared at the yard as he let the professor's words wash over him, repeating them in his mind. He didn't see a future for himself so he wasn't sure he could fully believe Snape's sentiments, but a part of him wanted to. He wanted to believe he could have a life, find a family, be happy and free. It was all he'd ever wanted and he wanted to believe he could have it, that he even deserved it.

"How does your magic feel?" Snape asked after a long silence. "Have you still been doing your exercises?"

"For the most part. It felt harder to do anything the last few days considering I was coming here," Harry said honestly, feeling the ache in his chest that had taken up residence there and made it a bit harder to breathe, a bit harder to think, a bit harder to want to continue on. "I've had a couple of outbursts. It actually hurts a bit right now."

"You likely have buildup as your magic had been becoming accustomed to being used regularly," Snape said. "Come, up."

Harry looked up as Snape stood. "You're not busy?"

"I would not be here if I were," Snape said. "Up, Potter."

Harry put his gift on the step beside him, putting his Quidditch badge in the box so it didn't get lost, and got to his feet. He followed Snape out to the middle of the wide-open yard.

"So, what are we doing?" Harry asked.

"We are dueling," Snape said and Harry looked at him with wide eyes.

"I'm sorry?" Harry said.

"It is the most effective way to quickly expel a large amount of magic," Snape said. "I told you we would duel once you were here."

"Well, yeah, but I thought we'd start with like lessons or learning spells, not just jump into a duel," Harry said. "You're going to destroy me."

Snape just smirked at him.

Harry huffed. "Fine. How do I duel without a wand or incantations?"

"Think the incantations. It is very similar to non-verbal magic," Snape said.

"Which I haven't exactly learned yet," Harry interrupted and Snape scowled at him though it seemed to lack any heat.

"You can also think about your intent if you do not have a specific spell for what you wish to achieve," Snape added.

"Why do I feel like you're using this as an excuse to hex me?" Harry said and rolled his eyes when Snape smirked again, pulling his wand.

Harry shook his head, but he wasn't afraid or annoyed. Instead, he was amused and grateful to the man for getting him out of his head and being willing to help him in a way no one else seemed to be. Where everyone else had assumed he was fine or blatantly ignored that he wasn't, Snape had noticed and done something. Only a couple weeks had changed everything between them, and all because Snape had taken the time to notice him and see him. It was strange and he didn't understand it, but he was willing to accept it for the moment. He'd be lost otherwise.

He turned his focus to his magic and the professor, his magic immediately reacting to the chance to be used. Snape obviously realized he was ready for the man adjusted his stance, ready to battle. Harry took a deep breath and made the first move, swinging his hand up and in front of him while pushing his magic outwards, thinking of the Disarming Spell.

Snape deflected it easily, responding with a spell Harry didn't recognize, but felt like something offensive.

"Even without a wand, you use that damn spell," Snape said, sending a second spell Harry managed to block. "Be unpredictable. You are identifiable due to that spell."

Harry ducked a spell that felt harsh and sent a Stunner followed by a Confounding Charm. Snape stepped smoothly out of the path of one and deflected the other, immediately returning his own Stunner.

"Do not be afraid to hurt me, Potter," Snape said, slashing his wand at Harry.

The grass around Harry's feet began to grow and wrap around his ankles, climbing up his legs. He quickly sent fire at the grass, scorching it from his body.

"I don't want to hurt you," Harry said, sending a Binding Spell, "anymore," he added at Snape's raised eyebrow.

"You won't, not really, but you need to learn to be more offensive," Snape said, multiple Stinging Hexes hitting Harry.

"You won't be angry?" Harry asked.

"It will not leave training," Snape said.

Harry nodded and changed tactics. At the same time he dodged what was clearly a curse, he raised both hands in front of him, splitting his magic between them and pushing it out. Half the magic transformed into a glittery snake that rushed towards Snape while the other half formed a huge orb of blinding light. Snape sent a spell at the orb, shattering it into magical dust and sent a blast of fire through Harry's snake. The fire disturbed the snake's form, but went right through, the snake reforming. Harry blocked some of the fire, receiving a singe on his shoulder that made him hiss.

Harry pushed his snake to circle Snape, absorbing any spells cast until a white one hit and it was dispelled. Several spells were thrown at him in quick succession. He blocked two, dodged one, but received a cut on his cheek. Harry waved his hand through the air, a trail of flying keys being created and following behind. He sent the cloud of keys at Snape, encasing him in their tornado. He sent a Blasting Curse at the ground, sending dirt flying into the air. He dodged Snape's own Blasting Curse which exploded a bunch of the keys, tripping on vines that suddenly started grabbing him from the ground.

He burned the vines at the same time Snape melted the remaining keys. Another Cutting Curse hit Harry's leg, making him respond with his own, following behind a ball of fire. Snape extinguished the fire, but was hit in the upper arm by the Cutting Curse. Harry was hit by a Repelling Charm and went sliding across the ground. He jumped to his feet, throwing drops of water that he froze mid-air at the man. Snape blocked most, sending a spell that caused a spasm in Harry's leg, sending him to his knees.

Harry put his palms on the ground and fire exploded there, travelling across the yard and forming a circle around Snape, flames growing taller. Close behind, he sent ropes, slithering along the ground inside the fire, beginning to twist up one of Snape's legs. A wave of water washed away from Snape, extinguishing the fire and crashing over Harry, drenching him. A jolt of electricity had him collapse to the ground. He was flung onto his back and, arms over his head, vines crept out of the ground and wrapped around his wrists, securing him to the ground.

He slumped into the bonds, exhausted and sore. The vines released him seconds later, but he just laid there, breathing hard, as Snape walked over to him. Snape looked...ruffled and his upper sleeve was torn from the Cutting Curse that had landed, but they were the only signs that the man had just participated in a duel. Snape knelt next to him and waved his wand, instantly drying Harry off.

"Thanks," Harry said, pushing himself up with a groan. "So, I'm terrible, right?"

"No, not once you stopped holding back," Snape said. "It is a good start."

Harry smiled, pleased to not be a failure finally. "Sorry about your arm."

"Easily healed," Snape said nonchalantly.

"And me?" Harry asked somewhat cheekily. "Whatever you hit my leg with bloody hurt. Still does."

"Muscle Tightening Hex," Snape said, moving Harry's torn and burned clothes to see his injuries, and grabbing his chin to examine his cut cheek. "You will survive."

As Harry met Snape's eyes, he was sure the man meant more than surviving a few small dueling injuries.

"Well, thanks for this," Harry said. "My magic feels loads better and, honestly, it was fun."

"An interesting choice, the flying keys," Snape said and Harry chuckled.

"I was inspired by first year," Harry said. "Those bloody things were a pain."

"They were also not meant for eleven year olds," Snape said and Harry shrugged, still grinning.

Snape gave a small smirk and stood, holding out a hand to help Harry to his feet. They walked back to the back door, Harry picking up his gift from the professor. They went inside, heading to the front foyer.

"I must go," Snape said as Harry made to go upstairs. "I will be back in a couple days and we will begin Mind Magic."

Harry nodded, a little apprehensive.

"It will be different," Snape assured. "Try to enjoy the rest of your birthday."

"Yes, sir," Harry said and watched the man disappear into the sitting room, hearing the Floo. He glanced down the hall at the open kitchen, hearing muffled voices, and contemplated joining whoever was in there. Looking down at Snape's gift, he decided against it and headed up the stairs. He was nearly at the top when he realized Ron was standing there, leaning on the railing where he could see down to the foyer and a glare on his face.

"Traitor," Ron muttered as Harry passed to go to Sirius' room. He stopped at the door and turned around.

"What was that?" Harry said, tense.

"You heard me," Ron said.

"Yeah, I did," Harry said. "I'd hoped you would change it."

"Why would I do that?" Ron sneered. "You're hanging out with the resident Death Eater, acting like buddies."

"Things change," Harry said, not in the mood for this particular fight.

"They sure do," Ron said. "Go be with your Slytherin friends. At least if they die because of you, they deserve it."

Harry clenched his jaw, glaring at Ron, before shoving the door open and storming into Sirius' room. He slammed it behind him and locked it, moving to sit heavily on the bed. He sighed, sad and angry, and looked down at the box in his hands. He picked up Sirius' wand, remembering the way they'd fought together before...

Good one, James!

Harry shook his head to clear the memory and put the wand on the bedside table in front of the photo of the Marauders, moving the two-way mirror into the drawer. He put his new Quidditch badge on the table as well, smiling lightly at it. Now that his magic was settled and he wasn't in the middle of fighting with Ron, he was actually thrilled and proud to have gotten the position. Taking the book out, he made to toss the box on the floor, but pushed magic at it instead, banishing it. He had just settled against the wall and pillows to read when a vial with a tag attached popped into existence in the air in front of him. He grabbed it and read the note.

Put this in a bath before you go to sleep.

SS.

Harry smiled, warmed, and put the vial on the table. Not feeling completely alone in the terrible house, he opened his new book and began reading.

Dinner was an extraordinarily awkward affair, especially as Mrs. Weasley tried to make everyone focus on it being Harry's birthday rather than what had happened between him and Ron earlier. Everyone ate her dinner, holding semi-casual conversations even as they eyed Ron and Harry, clearly waiting for another explosion, whether yelling from Ron or magical from Harry. Most enjoyed a slice of cake while Harry received an array of gifts that he opened uncomfortably. It was mostly sweets and books with items from the twins' shop, but there were three that stood out.

Not only was Harry surprised that Moody gave him a gift in general, but he was also stunned at the gift itself. It was a dragon-hide wand holster with all kinds of protections as well as a cloak with similar charms.

From Kingsley, he received a note, telling him the man had something special to give him later at the request of Snape.

Finally, from Lupin, he received a pocket watch. He looked at the werewolf curiously.

"It is tradition for young men to be given a pocket watch on their sixteenth birthday," Lupin said. "This one is your father's, Potter heirloom. I went to Godric's Hollow a few months after Halloween and I took this. I wanted a memory, but it's yours now."

Harry looked at the gold watch again, examining the details in the embossed crest, his eyes teary. He swallowed thickly.

"Thank you," he said quietly and Lupin gave him a gentle smile, a tinge of sadness in it.

"Here you are, Harry, dear," Mrs. Weasley said, handing him an envelope. "Professor McGonagall sent OWL scores this morning as well. I didn't get a chance to give them to you at breakfast."

Harry took the envelope, glancing at Ron who was glaring at his cake. Harry gave Mrs. Weasley a tight smile and excused himself, gathering his gifts to bring back upstairs. He knew they all probably wanted him to open his scores there in the kitchen, but he couldn't do it. He couldn't listen to them all gush about his grades and his future when he didn't have one, no matter how much he wanted to believe Snape.

He pushed into Sirius' room, automatically closing the door behind him. He put his gifts on the desk in the corner, moving back to the bed with his OWLs. He laid down and levitated the envelope above him, just staring at it. It had been such a horrible year. Had he even managed to pass any of his exams?

Sighing, he grabbed the envelope from the air and ripped into in, pulling out the single, folded piece of parchment. He scanned the contents in surprise.

Dear Mr. Potter,

Below you will find the final scores for your Ordinary Wizarding Levels (OWLs) as they reflect your theoretical and practical demonstrations in the respective core courses of study. You will also see a list of extra advanced courses of study now available to you. please be aware that enrollment in additional courses is extremely limited, so ensure you decide quickly to get the courses you desire. You may choose up to two of these courses.

Scoring:

O = Outstanding                                                      P = Poor

EE = Exceeds Expectations                                   D = Dreadful

A = Acceptable                                                        T = Troll

OWL Results for Mr. Harry J. Potter:

Transfiguration = EE

Charms = EE

Potions = EE

Defense Against the Dark Arts = O

Herbology = EE

Care of Magical Creatures = EE

History of Magic = D

Astronomy = A

Divination = P

Available advanced study courses (choose up to two):

Please note that advanced study takes place outside of regular class hours as scheduled by the respective instructors.

Animagus training - Professor M. McGonagall

Dueling - Professor S. Snape & Professor F. Flitwick

Magical Theory - Professor S. Snape

Healing Magic - Professor P. Sprout & Madam P. Pomfrey

Warding - Professor M. McGonagall

Curse Breaking - Professor F. Flitwick

Harry blinked, stunned at his results. They were beyond what he'd expected, aside from Divination and History of Magic. Failing those was no surprise and no great loss. He was also surprised by the additional courses; no one had mentioned them once. However, he was intrigued and already conflicted over which ones to choose.

A knock on the door pulled him from his contemplation and he looked up as Kingsley walked in, a large box in his hands. He hadn't interacted with the man much, but enough. It had been Kingsley that helped get him out of the Ministry and back to Hogwarts while Dumbledore dealt with Fudge. It was Kingsley who had explained what he could of the veil, helping to end Harry's desperate belief that Sirius could come back. It was Kingsley who had kept checking in on Harry on the train back to London rather than just ignoring him the way most everyone else did. It was Kingsley who, while a part of the group that brought Harry back to Privet Dive, had talked to Harry before leaving, trying to gauge if Harry was okay. He hadn't been successful as Harry had refused to speak, but he appreciated the effort. He didn't know the man well, but he liked what he did know.

"Hey, kid," Kingsley said. "How'd you do?" He nodded at the letter Harry still held.

"Better than I expected considering," Harry said. "Why did no one ever mention these extra courses?"

"They're never determined until after OWLs are done," Kingsley said. "It's a whole big staff meeting to decide what to offer and from who and to what students. They have to talk about every student basically and decide what the majority could want based on the last five years."

"So, the options are personalized?" Harry said.

"Mostly," Kingsley said. "I took Dueling and Curse Breaking."

Harry looked back at his letter, once more surprised. Based on his options, Snape had to have agreed that he could be interested in and capable of such advanced magic, even before the last couple weeks.

"Anyway, this is for you," Kingsley said, setting the box he held at the foot of th ebbed. Harry sat up, looking at it curiously. "Severus requested it, but I'd already been considering giving it to you to help with everything."

"You and Snape know each other?" Harry asked, pulling at the simple blue ribbon wrapped around the box.

"As close to friends as we can be," Kingsley said. "I was one of the Aurors charged with guarding him during his trial after the first war. Kind of got to know the guy."

"So, you know he's a spy?" Harry asked and Kingsley nodded. "No one else seems to believe he's a spy."

"Did you before the Ministry?" Kingsley asked.

Harry paused with his hands on the lid of the box. His eyes flicked to the Auror and back to the box. "No, I guess not." He sighed and lifted the lid.

"He's good at what he does," Kingsley said.

"No kidding," Harry muttered and he looked into the box. He frowned at the item and then Kingsley as he pulled it out, settling it in his lap. "A Pensieve?"

"Severus told me you'll be doing Occlumency again and he asked me to get you one to help as you learn," Kingsley said. "I also wanted to give you one to try and help you cope."

"How did you get one?" Harry asked, ignoring the reference to the Ministry and Sirius. "Aren't they rare?"

Kingsley shrugged.

Harry chuckled lightly. "Well, thanks."

Kingsley smiled at him. "How are you?"

Harry looked at him, realizing no one but Snape had asked him that. Normally, he would've hated the question, but it felt different this time. He looked back down at his new Pensieve, tapping the silver edge.

"Honestly, I'm not sure," Harry admitted. "Everything is wrong and screwed up. Everything except..." he trailed off, frowning into the Pensieve's crystal surface.

"Except?" Kingsley pushed gently.

"Except Snape?" Harry said, the comment coming out more like a question. "He's been...different and it's been helping."

"A lot's changed, a lot's going on," Kingsley said. "You two aren't too different from each other."

"Feel like I'm figuring that out," Harry said. "Kind of feels too late though."

"It's never too late," Kingsley said and Harry looked up at him, slightly puzzled. "Have a good night, kid. Happy birthday."

"Thanks," Harry said and the door closed behind Kingsley, leaving him alone again.