Harry stormed down the corridor. He had no real idea of where he was going, he just ran, tears streaking down his cheeks. Finally, he found himself out by the Lake, and he sank down to the ground, oblivious to the bitter September cold.

“I’m sorry Sirius, I’m so sorry. Why did you have to leave me, Sirius? I need you so much.”

Suddenly a great storm of anger filled him and a familiar stabbing pain started up in his scar. Frantically he tried to clear his mind, but the excess of emotion was still filling his mind and his vision was blurring. The next thin he knew, he was in a darkened room. Voldemort was sitting on an ornate throne at the head of the room. As Harry watched, unable to move or turn his eyes away, he stood and walked towards a man who was lying, limbs bound, on the floor.

“Ah, what a filthy Muggle you are. However, you have given me vital information on Potter. I shall be lenient.”

The man’s eyes lit up. Voldemort cackled harshly and then continued,

“I will only play with you for a little while before I kill you. Crucio!”

Harry felt the burning pain enter him even as he watched the man writhe on the floor. The curse was consuming him, ice crushing his veins. Vaguely he could hear screaming, but wasn’t sure if it was from the man, or from him. Thrashing mentally, he fought to leave the vision, desperate for a respite from the pain.

However, it seemed that Voldemort became aware of him through his efforts.

“Ah, Potter. How nice to see you. I do hope you’re enjoying seeing this. If it wasn’t for you, he wouldn’t be here, you know.” Laughing at the horrified look Harry knew was on his own face, he shouted the words of a spell, his wand trained in the heart of the Muggle, his eyes never leaving Harry’s.

“Avada Kedavra!”

Harry awoke screaming and thrashing, desperate to get away, to vanish the sight of the man’s expression, frozen in shock and pain as the life-force left him.

Hands were holding him down and a low, soothing voice was speaking to him.

“Harry! Harry, it’s alright, calm down, it’s alright now.”

He felt very cold. Someone was supporting him from behind, he realised, someone warm, with a kind voice and gentle hands that were stroking damp strands of hair from his forehead. Tremors coursed through his body due to the pain of the curse and the cold. Whimpering slightly, he turned his head and buried it in worn robes that smelt fresh and earthy.

Remus. He realised.

“Harry, can you hear me? I’m going to take you to the Hospital Wing, alright?”

Harry suddenly felt extremely nauseous, and he spoke up in a hoarse voice,

“Professor, I’m going to be sick.”

Gentle hands immediately turned him to the side and he weakly retched. He felt himself being lifted into strong arms, his head cradled against a warm chest, and he felt blackness approaching as the movement caused him yet more pain.

Xoxoxoxoxox

When the Headmaster entered the Hospital Wing, he was greeted with the sight of Harry Potter, pale and shivering in his usual bed. Remus Lupin was standing near him, covering him up with an extra blanket. The kindly werewolf looked up as he approached. He was about to say something, when Harry stirred and gave a quiet moan. Lupin immediately turned back to his side.

“Harry? Harry, it’s time to wake up. Can you hear me?”

Harry blearily opened his eyes. “Professor Lupin?”

Remus fondly smoothed the boy’s hair. “Yes, it’s me.”

Then Harry caught sight of Professor Dumbledore.

“Professor! I have to tell you, I had a vision.”

The elderly wizard came forward and closed the curtains around the bed. “I had guessed as much, my dear boy, but, please, tell me what you saw.”

Harry quickly summarised the dream. When he told the part about him feeling the curse, he shivered again and Professor Lupin gave a gasp. Dumbledore merely looked very grave and stroked his beard.

“Thank you Harry. Remus, perhaps we should leave Harry to rest. I have much I wish to discuss with you.”

Lupin looked hesitant for a second.

“I’ll be back later, Harry. I want a serious talk with you.”

Harry nodded in resignation.

Xoxoxoxoxoxoxox

When Remus returned, he looked unusually worried, but quickly put on a reassuring smile as he saw Harry watching him.

“Harry, I have a few things to discuss earlier. Firstly, I need to talk to you about what you saw earlier, when you ran out.”

Harry’s heart sank.

“I want you to understand that Sirius’ death was not your sole responsibility”

Harry looked up in surprise. Remus’ eyes were sincere and comforting. He took Harry’s chin with his hand and forced the boy to look straight at him.

“Yes, you made a mistake. But there are many people to blame – myself, Sirius himself, Snape. Most of all, Bellatrix Lestrange and Voldemort himself. Harry, Sirius loved you and he was going mad in that house. Sooner or later he would have gone out and got himself into trouble. He would never have forgiven himself if he hadn’t gone to help you.”

Harry’s eyes were swimming with tears.

“I could’ve used the mirror… I was so stupid, I didn’t realise what it was, I swear! Please, you have to believe me! I never meant, I didn’t know…”

Remus’ expression was achingly gentle as he reached out to Harry. The boy was stiff in his embrace, but he persisted and finally Harry melted into the offered comfort. Remus rocked him slowly as Harry cried hot tears of grief, his head buried in the crook of Remus’ neck.

When he recovered, he pulled back slowly, and smiled a small, grateful smile at his Professor.

The Professor seemed to hesitate before moving, but then brought up a hand sharply in front of his pupil’s face. Harry flinched and scooted backwards, nearly toppling of the bed. An involuntary whimper came from his throat as he reflexively raised his own arms in defence. When no blame came, he relaxed his posture in shame to see Remus regarding him in disbelief.

“I’m sorry” he whispered.

“Oh, Harry. I’m not angry. When Madam Pomfrey examined you after your vision, she found the bruises and cuts. Harry, why didn’t you…”

“I got them in a fight! I um…”

“Harry, please, don’t lie to me, I know that you must’ve…”

Harry was panicking now. No-one was supposed to know! Nobody was supposed to find out how weak I am!

“No! I fell down the stairs! I’m really clumsy and kept falling over. You know, I just…”

“Harry!” Remus broke through his babbling, perceptive as always. “It’s nothing to be ashamed of! The blame lies with us entirely. You are not weak, nor do you deserve it! I knew they disliked magic, I just never thought they would go this far.”

“It’s okay, really, they weren’t that bad!”

“So it was your relatives then?”

Harry flushed. Caught out at last. Damn it all.

“Look, can we not talk about this? I’m really tired.”

Remus looked at him suspiciously.

“Look, it wasn’t a big deal. I’m fine.”

At this, Remus erupted.

“What do you mean, no big deal! You were abused, Harry – physically and verbally! No child should go through that.”

Harry looked down. “That’s the point, though. I’m not a child anymore. I should be able to stand up for myself. If I can’t defend myself against my Muggle uncle, how am I about to defeat Voldemort?”

“Harry, strength is not shown by how hard you can fight. Sometimes true bravery is shown by resistance, by the fact that you endured, that your character has stayed pure instead of descending into darkness. You have shown yourself to be better than Tom Riddle because you have risen above the hardships whereas he was weakened by them.”

Harry leant forward abruptly and pulled Remus into a hug. After a moment’s surprise, Remus wrapped his arms around the boy, and they just sat together for a while.

When Remus pulled away, he sighed slightly.

“I’m afraid, Harry, that after your vision tonight, the Headmaster agrees with me that your Occulmency lessons should resume with Professor Snape.”

For a moment there was silence. Lupin held his breath, expecting an outburst from Harry. When the boy looked up from fiddling with the bedcovers, however, he was looking uncommonly serious.

“I agree. I would love to resume my lessons and would be extremely grateful to Professor Snape. However, I doubt that he will agree to teach me again.”

Then, softly, “He sure has good enough cause to refuse.”

Remus let out a sigh of relief. “Professor Snape has already agreed, Harry. He wants you to go and see him as soon as Madam Pomfrey lets you out of her sight.”

Harry chuckled ruefully and replied without thinking.

“I guess my letter had more effect than I thought.”

Remus’ eyes narrowed.

“What letter Harry?”