Slytherin!
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When Harry finds an injured Snape on his doorstep and must hide him from the Dursleys, he has no idea that this very, very bad day will be the start of something good.
Harry and Snape are thrown together by annoying relatives, a series of strange dreams, and Voldemort's latest hunt for Harry, but their greatest challenge may well be surviving each other. This will be a long summer unless the two can find a way to work together. A slow-burn enemy-to-mentor story.
Alternate 6th summer (and part of the school year): post-OotP; ignores HBP and DH.
Takes Place: 6th summer
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Snape flavour: Canon Snape
Tags: Injured!Harry, Injured!Snape, Snape-meets-Dursleys
Categories: Teacher Snape > Trusted Mentor Snape
Membership status: Member
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Reviews by Sweartoad
Rated: T
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Warnings: Abusive Dursleys, Neglect, Violence
Chapters: 61 - Completed: Yes - Updated: 08 Mar 2021 / 30 Apr 2007
Series: None - Challenges: Battered Snape for Breakfast
Chapters: 61 - Completed: Yes - Updated: 08 Mar 2021 / 30 Apr 2007
Series: None - Challenges: Battered Snape for Breakfast
| Title: Chapter 8: Chapter 8 - Of Wizards and Muggles | 06 Sep 2007 |
| Reviewer: Sweartoad (Signed) |
- "He burrowed his head in the fabric covering the beating heart. Arms were holding him, and he felt a hand awkwardly, hesitantly, pat his back. Once. Twice."
LOL. You are so out of your depth, Snapey. And just think: first come hugs, then comes LUFF! I think tolerance should appear somewhere in there, but the order is already so mixed up so meh, whatever XD
I told you that Petunia is the manipulative one. Vernon is just stupid.
You have skyrocketed in terms of points, Snapey. Firstly because you hugged Harry (no matter how reluctantly) and secondly because you messed up the Dursley's garden XD
Harry: You have always had the maximum amount of points simply because you are Harry and because you are the device by which Snape will eventually turn into puddles of affection for XD You'll see C:
Author's Response:
Yay! Snape has more points now! He wouldn't tell you this himself, but he's secretly pleased. (Don't tell him I told you, of course. He'll deny it.)
| Title: Chapter 10: Chapter 10 - Hostility, House-elves, and Headmasters | 06 Sep 2007 |
| Reviewer: Sweartoad (Signed) |
- "Harry decided to be annoyed at her anyway."
I really do love how bratty Harry can be sometimes. After all, that's practically a teenager's main profession! Just a quick review between getting back from uni and popping off to work XD
If I'm not too tired I'll start working on the next seven chapters tonight XD
Author's Response: hehe - I like that you like bratty Harry. :) I'm not trying to make him a prat, understand, but if he were perfect, he wouldn't be any fun to write or read about!
| Title: Chapter 11: Chapter 11 - Behind Closed Doors | 09 Sep 2007 |
| Reviewer: Sweartoad (Signed) |
- "You are weak right now. Not broken. Weak. There is no shame in that. You must have time to recover.”
I wish I had a Dumbledore to say nice things and be all reassuring and see the best in me ... XD
Yeah, I totally imprisoned myself in my house when DH came out. No one was allowed in and no one was coming out XD 'Twas just me and mah book XD
Snapey - you have points for being all frank with Dumbledore, and for admitting to him that Harry has had it bad with his relatives. Plus maybe some extra points because I KNOW that you are relating with Harry XD
Harry: ... maybe you can get some points back for admitting everything to Remus after losing practically all of them for shouting at him XD
Dumbledore: You are just awesome XD
Author's Response:
:) I'm glad you're giving everyone some points in this chapter. You get points from me for leaving nice reviews!
| Title: Chapter 12: Chapter 12 - Dead Smelly Toads | 09 Sep 2007 |
| Reviewer: Sweartoad (Signed) |
- ‘sessions of consequences for daring to be alive.’
LOL. I am totally going to call detentions that from now on. Well, except for the fact that you don't get detentions when you're at uni ... but we'll think of something XD
Plus, this was the best line, in my opinion:
"Well, no other wizard, that is…but thinking of Dobby’s methods of helping him wasn’t really much comfort."
So I was reading what other people have written in their reviews, and I just realised that I am majorly not serious. Seriously XD
Author's Response:
Seriousness is highly overrated. Seriously. :P
I love to hear people's favorite lines. It makes me happy!
| Title: Chapter 13: Chapter 13 - Harry's Wheezy | 09 Sep 2007 |
| Reviewer: Sweartoad (Signed) |
- "Azkaban Prison is expected to reopen by the end of the year, under improved management and with vastly superior security measures."
Ah, propaganda. Gotta love it XD
I bet in a year's time when it opens Voldemort will be all like SURPRISE, SUCKERS! and in control.
“Yeah, but who’s gonna protect him from Sna – ow!” Ron rubbed his sore arm, eyes shooting daggers at Hermione."
I love Ron. He's always the best. Plus a lot of people seem to think he's only there for comic relief and that at the first sight of trouble he turns on Harry, but I'm glad to see he's getting his place as Harry's BFF (LOL I can't believe I just used 'bff' ... someone shoot me XD).
Author's Response: I love Ron, too! Sure, he's impulsive & such, but he's not Harry's best friend for nothing!
| Title: Chapter 14: Chapter 14 - Occlumency Tutor Wanted | 09 Sep 2007 |
| Reviewer: Sweartoad (Signed) |
- "Allow me to assure you: in direct contrast to your own mental capabilities, mine are of adequate size and fully in tact."
LOL. Snapey - 10 points for being a snarky git, and also for helping Harry while in the throes of a dream (wow, that is a really bad choice of words XD)
Harry - I feel a little bit bad for you, seeing as in the not-so-distant future you'll probably be locked up in a basement being drained of all your vital fluids and all that. Then again, my sympathy is tempered by the fact that I just know that, in some way, shape or form Snapey will come to your rescue, so really, it all works out XD (lol, a fangirl can always dream XD)
Author's Response: Will he? And will he? Hmm...we'll see soon, won't we? :) ;)
| Title: Chapter 15: Chapter 15 - An Experiment in Civility | 09 Sep 2007 |
| Reviewer: Sweartoad (Signed) |
- "Other than interpersonal relationships, of course."
See, even Harry has picked up on your distressing lack of social skills, Snapey, and we all know he's not very subtle (yeah, I know, I'm not being very generous and I know that Harry picks up on a lot of small details, but he's always been rather stupid when it comes to Snape so yeah XD)
Plus more 20-questions with Snape! I luff. (and apparently I have forgotten everything I learned about grammar and spelling at school. Ah well XD)
Here is some chocolate (with caramel if you so desire) and some chai tea. Because chai is yummy XD (and it is also what I've been snorting into whilst reading this entire chapter XD)
Author's Response:
I love writing the Q&A's, so it thrills me that ya'll seem to like reading it! YAY!
And let me tell you this...I LOVE CHAI TEA!!!!! I had to make a special trip to get some after I initially read this review, because you just started up the craving. YOU are AWESOME!!!
| Title: Chapter 16: Chapter 16 - Visions of Sugar Plums | 09 Sep 2007 |
| Reviewer: Sweartoad (Signed) |
- "His pride wouldn’t let him give in."
That whole bit is the best bit in this chapter, just because Harry is being pig-headed and an idiot and is using more upper-case letters when he speaks than I do in my reviews XD
Snapey - I'm too lazy to evaluate your performance in this chapter and convert that into points because I am very tired. Though I will give you points for being part of Harry's vision and saying you'd rather eat mouldy cabbage and beetle stew.
I'll leave off reviewing chapter 17 until tomorrow when I have had a decent injection of caffeine, otherwise you'll be subject to a review that practically defines cruel and unusual punishment XD
Author's Response:
Yes, Harry needs to learn to control those upper case letters sometimes, tsk tsk.
Caffeine...you, Sweartoad, are a reviewer after my own heart. ;)
| Title: Chapter 17: Chapter 17 - The Second Prophecy | 10 Sep 2007 |
| Reviewer: Sweartoad (Signed) |
- The answer is: 42. If you don't like that answer, then here is another one: SNAPEY WILL MELT INTO PUDDLES OF LOVE FOR HARRY, AND THEY'LL ALL LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER!!!
(insert evil laughter here)
Oh the joys of fanfiction - you can do whatever the hell you want, and no one raises an eyebrow XD
I like the whole Seer idea, btw. Very inventive XD
And Snapey gets a million points for sticking around when Harry asks (*cough*BEGS*cough* LOL) him to, and also because he now is the main character in his very own prophecy XD
Author's Response:
Aw, puddles of love? He would be so mad at you for insinuating that he could actually *gasp* melt into puddles for anyone, much less the much-loathed Harry Potter! Quick, I'll hold back Snape - You run!!!
| Title: Chapter 18: Chapter 18 - A Lesson in Being Slytherin | 10 Sep 2007 |
| Reviewer: Sweartoad (Signed) |
- "Slytherins are sorted for their positive attributes, not because their 11-year old minds have hatched evil, diabolical plans to take over the world as the next generation of Dark Lords.”
LOL. Well, most are, but I'm pretty damn sure that Voldemort was born scheming XD
And Harry totally pwns Snapey in this chapter. So I'm going to give them equal points, because Harry has (in a sort of roundabout way) employed his deeply-buried cunning, and Snape has begun to address some of his own misconceptions about Harry.
PLUS the whole "panic, relief, ANGER!!! X(" thing from Snapey was funny. Emotions totally suit you, man XD (and now I'm talking like one of those stoners from a teen movie. That, or those surfer-turtles from Finding Nemo XD)
So all in all, a rocking chapter and a very happy Sweartoad XD
Author's Response:
hehe, yes, you do have a point. If Draco Malfoy was sorted before the sorting hat even touched his head, Voldemort was probably sorted from about a mile away.