Unsorted!
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Abandoned on the streets, then placed in an orphanage, and finally adopted by a loving woman. Things are finally getting better for young Harry… or are they?
Takes Place: 1st Year
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Snape flavour: None
Tags: Adoption, Child fic, Slytherin!Harry
Categories: Teacher Snape > Trusted Mentor Snape
Membership status: Member
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Reviews by PadyandMoony
Rated: T
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Warnings: Abusive Dursleys
Chapters: 22 - Completed: No - Updated: 30 Aug 2008 / 18 Oct 2007
Series: None - Challenges: None
Chapters: 22 - Completed: No - Updated: 30 Aug 2008 / 18 Oct 2007
Series: None - Challenges: None
| Title: Chapter 12: Chapter 12 | 21 Jan 2008 |
| Reviewer: PadyandMoony (Signed) |
- Great chapter.
Harry and Severus making friends. Yay!
I hope Severus kicks Connor's butt!
Author's Response: Severus will eventually meet Connor... Stay tuned to find out how that will go! :)
| Title: Chapter 13: Chapter 13 | 28 Jan 2008 |
| Reviewer: PadyandMoony (Signed) |
- Great chapter! I'm awaiting eagerly for Snape to hex Connor though.
About Blaise, I have to confess I don't like when author's make him a girl because it gets confusing. I'm used to thinking of him as a boy. It's always good to remember when we write that most readers have tons of stories in alerts. I usually try to do things from my experience in fanfiction. There are just a few stories that I actually remember the name when the alert comes without having to read a little of the chapter. Sometimes depending on how often the author updates I even have to go back a few chapters to remind myself. So, when a story has a female Blaise it can take a while to situate myself again when I'm reading.
I don't think that's much your case because you update quite often and your stories are actually between the few that I know from just seeing the title what story I'm reading and have it fresh in my mind. But it's always good to consider how different reading fanfiction is from reading book.
If the problem is that you want a Slytherin girl that wasn't very prominent in canon there is Daphne Greengrass. I really don't remember her much from Canon apart of the sorting.
Anyway, keep up the good work and lets slip a potion in Connor's juice. What? no, I didn't say anything like that, I said lets add sugar to Connor's juice, to make it sweet, since he is such a sweet *cough*jerk*cough*, I mean person.
Author's Response:
First off, thanks for your opinion on the Blaise's gender. I still haven't decided what I want to do yet. I had thought about using Daphne, but (feel free to call me picky) I don't really like her name. And the whole Snape hexing/poisoning Connor thing? Would he ever do that? Noo... Oh wait. Yes he would! In fact, there is a little teaser on my site about the next chapter and it involves Snape meeting Connor...
| Title: Chapter 16: Chapter 16 | 30 Mar 2008 |
| Reviewer: PadyandMoony (Signed) |
- Great chapter. Loved Harry and the Goblins and how everyone thought he was Snape's son.
Author's Response: I thought it would be amusing for a rumor to spread around about Sev having a family. Thanks for reviewing!
| Title: Chapter 17: Chapter 17 | 27 Apr 2008 |
| Reviewer: PadyandMoony (Signed) |
- Great chapter. Harry being in Slytherin works well with your story and making him friends with Blaise and Susan was a great idea. His interactions with Draco will be interesting to see since they are dorm mates now.
Author's Response:
There will be a small scene between him and Draco in the next chapter. I'm sure Malfoy will realize it's smarter to be friends with Harry than enemies. Thanks for reviewing and next chapter will be up shortly!
| Title: Chapter 18: Chapter 18 | 11 May 2008 |
| Reviewer: PadyandMoony (Signed) |
- Great chapter. The confrontation with Draco was quite in character and this turn with McGonagal is very interesting.
Author's Response:
Glad you enjoyed it! Thanks again for reviewing! :)
| Title: Chapter 19: Chapter 19 | 30 May 2008 |
| Reviewer: PadyandMoony (Signed) |
- Great chapter. I loved Severus' revenge with the Dursleys and Harry sneaking out to fly!
Author's Response: Glad you liked it! Next chapter will be up soon!
| Title: Chapter 20: Chapter 20 | 28 Jun 2008 |
| Reviewer: PadyandMoony (Signed) |
- Great chapter! I liked the change on the troll scene and how Cathy is starting to doubt Connor.
Author's Response: Glad you liked it! Thanks for reviewing!
| Title: Chapter 22: Chapter 22 | 30 Aug 2008 |
| Reviewer: PadyandMoony (Signed) |
- Great chapter. I really liked how you had Snape finding Harry.
AU / Death Eaters besiege Hogwarts. A spell from Dumbledore is going astray. A cauldron explodes during potions class. And the old castle enfolds its own magic. Can some students survive the next twenty-one days?
Takes Place: 5th Year - Snape flavour: None
Tags: Adoption
Categories: Teacher Snape > Trusted Mentor Snape, Parental Snape > Guardian Snape
Takes Place: 5th Year - Snape flavour: None
Tags: Adoption
Categories: Teacher Snape > Trusted Mentor Snape, Parental Snape > Guardian Snape
Rated: 16+
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Warnings: Abusive Dursleys
Chapters: 15 - Completed: No - Updated: 20 Dec 2011 / 03 Jun 2011
Series: None - Challenges: None
Chapters: 15 - Completed: No - Updated: 20 Dec 2011 / 03 Jun 2011
Series: None - Challenges: None
| Title: Chapter 9: Day five - Friday, sixth of September | 29 Aug 2011 |
| Reviewer: PadyandMoony (Signed) |
- I really like this story. I really like how well you portray the situation they are in and their reactions.
I also liked that despite Ron being a hot head you didn't portray all Gryffindors as such like some authors who write Snape stories do. I think that's stereotyping a bit and I like that you managed to escape that mold by showing both Houses have all kinds of students.
I agree with most reviewers that you're English is indeed really good. As a non-English speaker but English writer myself I can sympathize with how hard it is to get the expressions right.
Which is why I wanted to point this out. I couldn't tell you if it's grammatically incorrect, I don't know. But I do know it sounds weird, which probably means it's not used much even if it is correct. There are two expressions you use a lot. One for time, you say things like. "They've been locked up since five days" for instance. It sounds weird. I would use something like "They've been locked up for five days."
The other was when Snape was talking to Harry about his injuries, you wrote "What is your back doing?". Sounded strange too. I would have used "How is your back doing?".
But those were the only two things that stood out, and if it wasn't because they are expressions that come up so often I probably wouldn't have noticed.
I just let you know because as I said, as a non-native English speaker myself, sometimes I make mistakes like that, usually by using an expression that makes complete sense in Portuguese but in English is weird, and I'm always thankful to my beta for pointing them out to me!
Keep up the good work and I'm also looking forward to the sequel you promised at FFnet (couldn't help myself, I went over there to read to the end. Just had to know! I loved it!)