Ravenclaw!
Severus Snape is a spy by nature and by training. As such it infuriates him when he realizes that he knows virtually nothing about the real Harry…other than the fact that Harry keeps a journal. Using his own invisibility cloak, Severus sneaks into the Gryffindor tower while the students are at the leaving feast and exchanges the journal's specially matched ever-sharp quill with a quill of his own that has been charmed to a parchment in Severus' possession so that everything Harry writes is copied to the parchment. What does Harry write, and what happens when Severus realizes that they are kindred spirits. 2010 Challenge Fest entry. Response to Pen Pals by dianehc.
Takes Place: 4th summer
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Snape flavour: None
Tags: None
Categories: Fic Fests > #11 Challenge Fest 2010, Snape Equal Status to Harry > Foes Snape and Harry, Teacher Snape > Professor Snape
Membership status: Member
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Reviews by ImUpToNoGood
Rated: T
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Warnings: Abusive Dursleys
Chapters: 1 - Completed: Yes - Updated: 13 Jul 2010 / 13 Jul 2010
Series: None - Challenges: Pen Pals
Chapters: 1 - Completed: Yes - Updated: 13 Jul 2010 / 13 Jul 2010
Series: None - Challenges: Pen Pals
| Title: Chapter 1: Pen Pals | 13 Jul 2010 |
| Reviewer: ImUpToNoGood (Signed) |
- I adore this.
This is exactly the way Snape would come to terms with Harry, slowly, with research and investigation, espionage, and Slytherin sneakiness.
Loved the last line too.
Glad that Dumbledore didn't know about the abuse. It often bothers me to read evil!Dumbles... it seems things are more complex than that. Glad you didn't take the easy way out.
K
![](<a href="http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1437486/"><img src="/fanfiction/images/ffn.gif" border=none></a>){kind=link}
An unfortunate potions accident leaves Harry free of inhibition and forced to tell the truth, no matter the consequences. Winner for Best Story in the 2010 Challenge Fest. Response to the Another Potions Accident Challenge by Ebbtide.
Takes Place: 3rd summer - Snape flavour: None
Tags: Runaway
Categories: Snape Equal Status to Harry > Foes Snape and Harry, Parental Snape > Guardian Snape, Teacher Snape > Professor Snape
Takes Place: 3rd summer - Snape flavour: None
Tags: Runaway
Categories: Snape Equal Status to Harry > Foes Snape and Harry, Parental Snape > Guardian Snape, Teacher Snape > Professor Snape
Rated: T
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Warnings: Abusive Dursleys, Profanity
Chapters: 3 - Completed: No - Updated: 09 Nov 2011 / 15 Jul 2010
Series: None - Challenges: Another Potions Accident
Chapters: 3 - Completed: No - Updated: 09 Nov 2011 / 15 Jul 2010
Series: None - Challenges: Another Potions Accident
| Title: Chapter 1: Secrets Buried | 19 Jul 2010 |
| Reviewer: ImUpToNoGood (Signed) |
- Oh! I don't want this to end! I want to see the effect the truth has on the relationships between these three. This is lovely.
One thing... sarcasm is allowed with the particular truth potion he came into contact with? There were several instances where the words he used were false, but the inflection made it sarcasm... and therefore implying the opposite.
Please write a sequel!!!
K
Author's Response:
Thanks.
Uh, I'm a little confused with that statement! LOL! It wasn't the truth, but it sounded like the truth, but it wasn't? :O
Thanks. I guess i'll have to get busy!
AU GoF. Fake-Moody kidnapped Harry before the first task. Now Voldemort is dead, Harry and Hermione are the only ones who know how he died, and the Death Eater Severus Snape has vanished without a trace. 2010 Challenge Fest entry. Response to Student Snape by Foolish Wishmaker.
Takes Place: 5th summer - Snape flavour: None
Tags: Alternate Universe
Categories: Fic Fests > #11 Challenge Fest 2010, Snape Equal Status to Harry > Comrades Snape and Harry
Takes Place: 5th summer - Snape flavour: None
Tags: Alternate Universe
Categories: Fic Fests > #11 Challenge Fest 2010, Snape Equal Status to Harry > Comrades Snape and Harry
Rated: T
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Warnings: None
Chapters: 19 - Completed: No - Updated: 16 Dec 2014 / 17 Jul 2010
Series: None - Challenges: Student Snape
Chapters: 19 - Completed: No - Updated: 16 Dec 2014 / 17 Jul 2010
Series: None - Challenges: Student Snape
| Title: Chapter 3: Chapter 3 | 20 Jul 2010 |
| Reviewer: ImUpToNoGood (Signed) |
- This is amazing! I can't wait to read more.
It is very true to the characters, and a completely reasonable extrapolation of what could have happened.
More!
Bouncing with eagerness...
K
| Title: Chapter 18: Chapter 18 | 11 Feb 2012 |
| Reviewer: ImUpToNoGood (Signed) |
- This is good. Your broken boys and girl are well drawn. Dumbledore is in character, trying so desperately to do what is "best", and failing. And failing. I love sneaky Minerva! I also like how Harry defeated Voldemort, not alone, but in his own way, and with a little/lot of help from his friends. Well, friends now.
Looking forward to reading more!
K
Following the death of Sirius, Harry isn't sure what to make of the sudden appearance of a six-year-old boy. The pair form a bond, unaware they're half-brothers, and Harry decides to take the boy to Hogwarts and hide him there. To aide the boy's education, Harry anonymously exchanges letters with Snape.
A story of a how a young boy becomes a father-figure to another while their own father is oblivious of their biological existence. But can sixteen-year-old Harry give what he himself has not gained? Can he go an entire year without being discovered? Just how far will Severus go to find the writer of those letters...Or are some things best left unknown?
Takes Place: 6th summer, 6th Year, 7th summer, 8 - Pre Epilogue (adult Harry) - Snape flavour: Canon Snape
Tags: Alternate Universe, Child fic, Kidnapped, Runaway, Sibling Addition, Snape-meets-Dursleys
Categories: Parental Snape > Biological Father Snape, Teacher Snape > Trusted Mentor Snape
A story of a how a young boy becomes a father-figure to another while their own father is oblivious of their biological existence. But can sixteen-year-old Harry give what he himself has not gained? Can he go an entire year without being discovered? Just how far will Severus go to find the writer of those letters...Or are some things best left unknown?
Takes Place: 6th summer, 6th Year, 7th summer, 8 - Pre Epilogue (adult Harry) - Snape flavour: Canon Snape
Tags: Alternate Universe, Child fic, Kidnapped, Runaway, Sibling Addition, Snape-meets-Dursleys
Categories: Parental Snape > Biological Father Snape, Teacher Snape > Trusted Mentor Snape
Rated: K+
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Warnings: Alcohol Use, Character Death, Neglect, Violence
Chapters: 33 - Completed: No - Updated: 06 Oct 2013 / 04 Mar 2011
Series: None - Challenges: None
Chapters: 33 - Completed: No - Updated: 06 Oct 2013 / 04 Mar 2011
Series: None - Challenges: None
| Title: Chapter 26: Unwelcome Distractions | 21 Jun 2011 |
| Reviewer: ImUpToNoGood (Signed) |
- I am completely enthralled by this story. While similar plots (Snape as Harry's father, Harry slowly starting to look like him) have been written before, your focus is unique. I love Toby, and love how that is making Harry consider his own life.
Your characters are completely in character, and the changes in them are slow and believable. The only point that I was unsure about was at the beginning... Harry's decision to keep Toby seemed a bit mature for a kid his age, but on the other hand, it could well have been the heedlessness that Harry has shown in the past, so it is not unbelievable.
I like the slowly changing interactions between Harry and Severus, and between Harry and Draco. It looks like they are evolving into more positive relationships, but you keep it believable by not doing it all at once. I am really curious what has changed for Draco, that has caused his apparent change of loyalties. That is a part of the story that I can't wait to read more of.
I raed through from chapter 1, so this review is on all of the chapters... there are a few things that need work:
There are places throughout the story when you reveal something that the apparent POV character would not know. We are left wondering if the POV character does indeed know this, and how. It may be that you are not being clear enough about POV shifts, or that you are using Omnicient POV but lapsing into limited third person without warning. Making POV shifts clear, using section breaks to mark a shift (* * * is sufficient), and making sure you are avoiding revealing anything in a given section that the POV character for that section would not know, would really help with this.
You also have some word choice issues, some of which are consistent enough to mention (these are in various chapters):
worse=comparative. If the word 'than' follows, use worse. A is worse than B.
worst=superlative. The worst of all. Preceded by 'the'.
than: comparative: better than, happier than
then: seqeuntial or as a result of: I did this, then I did that. (or) If I go here, then I can do this.
One time errors that stuck in my mind:
skinnier = more skinny. less skinny (not less skinnier).
tone = color
toning = musculature
(the tone of Snape's face, not the toning.
Misplacement of commas also causes confusion intermittently.
The reason I mention these issues is that I really like the story, and the issues hinder the smooth flow of it. Each time I stumble into one, I am brought up short while I try to figure out what you mean, or while my brain makes the mental correction.
Despite these few issues, I am really looking forward to reading more. Overall, an excellent read.
K
Severus thought he knew what to expect of the spawn of James Potter...until he walked into the Great Hall looking like Severus Snape.
Takes Place: 1st Year - Snape flavour: None
Tags: None
Categories: Parental Snape > Biological Father Snape
Takes Place: 1st Year - Snape flavour: None
Tags: None
Categories: Parental Snape > Biological Father Snape
Rated: T
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Warnings: None
Chapters: 10 - Completed: No - Updated: 29 Oct 2020 / 12 Oct 2012
Series: None - Challenges: None
Chapters: 10 - Completed: No - Updated: 29 Oct 2020 / 12 Oct 2012
Series: None - Challenges: None
| Title: Chapter 9: Chapter 9 | 28 Sep 2015 |
| Reviewer: ImUpToNoGood (Signed) |
- Love this story. People are behaving more rationally than in canon... Of course McGonagall would take Harry to the headmaster for permission, rather than to Wood. Of course parental approval would be needed.
Couple of typo/homonym errors in these chapters: site is a location, sight is a view; supper is a meal, super means great. Callus is the physical thing (thickening of the skin) callous means unfeeling. There were a few others like that in these chapters: not many, but they bumped me from the storyline each time.
The story is so good I kept reading, once I got myself back into it. Glad I did! Can't wait to read more!
What was Potter doing, showing up at Hogwarts looking like Snape’s son? Snape is not Happy to discover that his son Ian has an older clone in Harry Potter.
Takes Place: 1st Year - Snape flavour: Snape is Cruel
Tags: Sibling Addition
Categories: Parental Snape > Biological Father Snape
Takes Place: 1st Year - Snape flavour: Snape is Cruel
Tags: Sibling Addition
Categories: Parental Snape > Biological Father Snape
Rated: T
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Warnings: Abusive Dursleys, Character Bashing, Neglect
Chapters: 46 - Completed: No - Updated: 14 Nov 2014 / 10 May 2013
Series: None - Challenges: Real Brother
Chapters: 46 - Completed: No - Updated: 14 Nov 2014 / 10 May 2013
Series: None - Challenges: Real Brother
| Title: Chapter 17: What Cecil said | 09 Sep 2013 |
| Reviewer: ImUpToNoGood (Signed) |
- This chapter made me cry. Well done!
Glad to see that Snape is finally getting a tiny bit of a clue.
| Title: Chapter 29: Christmas | 19 Nov 2013 |
| Reviewer: ImUpToNoGood (Signed) |
- This is a mervellous chapter. The reactions are so true to the characters. I hope Harry gets back to the rest of his presents... I think Snape's feelings would be hurt if Harry did not even open it, and with Snape, hurt feelings often manifest as anger.
I loved seeing more of the context behind the visitations (Lily and James). Poor Severus, that he gets James instead of Lily. But they are right, Harry needs Lily more.
It was great seeing Severus start to develop a bit of empathy toward Harry, (correctly) imagining Harry's past Christmases... Although, the Firebolt may throw all of that out of whack.
I fear for a one step forward two steps back scenario, but hope Snape holds onto his new understanding, despite appparent evidence to the contrary.
Lovely story. I always look forward to new updates! Thanks for writing this!
K
The summer Harry turns eighteen he sleeps alone in a shed at the Burrow. Will he be fit to return to Hogwarts for a seventh year of education? What does a last year at Hogwarts have to offer in the aftermaths of Voldemort’s demise? And how will Harry cope with the Headmaster in office?
Takes Place: 7th Year - Snape flavour: None
Tags: None
Categories: Healer Snape, Teacher Snape > Professor Snape
Takes Place: 7th Year - Snape flavour: None
Tags: None
Categories: Healer Snape, Teacher Snape > Professor Snape
Rated: 16+
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Warnings: Romance/Het, Romance/Slash, Self-harm, Suicide Themes
Chapters: 47 - Completed: Yes - Updated: 24 Nov 2015 / 11 Nov 2014
Series: Spiral - Challenges: None
Chapters: 47 - Completed: Yes - Updated: 24 Nov 2015 / 11 Nov 2014
Series: Spiral - Challenges: None
| Title: Chapter 13: Chapter 13 Close | 06 Nov 2015 |
| Reviewer: ImUpToNoGood (Signed) |
- Very good chapter. I love how the plot is developing, and how the characters are each working through their grief in their own way.
One suggestion: if you are not sure about a word, try using a simpler one, or get a native English speaker for a beta. These two paragraphs caused me to stumble:
Professor McGonagall also declared that the quidditch match between Gryffindor and Ravenclaw in the afternoon was inhibited. Ginny was angry about the annulations, although everybody else felt that it was the natural thing to do.
(Inhibiting is most often for emotions, implying repressed emotions. I suggest either cancelled or postponed. Annulation is a word in chemistry meaning to form rings. Cancellation (if cancelled) or postponement or delay (if postponed) would be fine.
“It would do us all good to move outside and be forced to think about something else, instead of brooding and rummaging it all over and over again.”
Rummaging is more often for items, rather than thoughts. I think you might have meant "ruminating on it all over again." or even "going over it over and over again."
Author's Response:
Thank you - I'm glad that you point things like that out. I lived in France for a while and sometimes I get things mixed up - only because the same words exists in English I take for granted that they have the same meaning, which they don't - 'annulation' and 'inhiber/ inhibit' are examples of that. Because I believe I think I know the meaning, I don't look it up in a dictionary, which, by the way, is no guarantee that you'll end up with the right word anyhow... I might have a tendency to go for the more complicated words and I think that you're right - it will not necessarily work out the best... I would really need a native English beta, but they don't exactly grow on trees, you know (expression used in my country :-) not sure whether it exists in English, meaning they are scarce, or busy - hard to get hold of anyhow)
| Title: Chapter 16: Chapter 16 The Spiral Case Knight´s Battle Move | 24 Jan 2021 |
| Reviewer: ImUpToNoGood (Signed) |
- I’m fascinated by your storyline. You’ve got well-depicted characters that have the depth of their canon counterparts (or perhaps even more). I love Snape’s and Harry’s evolving interactions. Harry’s developing skills now that the Horcrux is gone are delightful, especially because they are unusual, but still feel authentic to the Wizarding world.
I am curious, are you not a native speaker of English? Overall, you have a good grasp of spelling and grammar, but I keep seeing word choice errors that look like someone who is not a native speaker was using a thesaurus to vary their words. For example, febrile means feverish, but only in a medical sense, whereas you used it in the figurative sense (feverish work to repair Hogwarts.) I’m also seeing words where a similar word is the correct one: an illness would affect someone, not attain them, or words that were once common but now not the norm, such as using pupil to refer to schoolchildren (even in the UK, student has become more prevalent for both school age students and university students. Pupil feels dismissive and archaic.) I also notice you using the infinitive of a verb where a gerund would be used and sometimes visa versa. (Example: “we need to prevent him from going”, rather than “we need to prevent him to go”.)
This is a delightful and engrossing story, despite the reader being occasionally jolted from the story by out of place words. I look forward to reading the rest!