Potions and Snitches
Snape and Harry Gen Fanfiction Archive

Membership status: Member
My Pet:
Penname:
Kirinin [Contact] Better be Gryffindor!
Call me: (undisclosed) Member since: 10 Jul 2006
Beta? Yes
About me:

Hi!  My name is Kirinin, and I've been writing fanfiction for over ten years, now.  My initial fandom was Ranma 1/2.  After having a lot of fun with this fandom for around five years, I decided to branch out.

My first completed Harry fic is Secret of Slytherin, which was initially on fanfiction-dot-net.  I have to say that writing and posting this story has been one of the most fun and interesting literary experiences I've had.  For one thing, the tale started off as a bedtime story, meant to be shared with someone verbally, so it had to have a certain cadence.  Then, when I initially posted it, the feedback was thoughtful and thorough - to the point that people brought up and argued issues I'd never even thought of.  Some or the reviews themselves are works of art, and I've met a lot of great people through their analyses of the story. 

It's wonderful to be able to share SoS with a new fanfiction community here, and give the story some more life.  :)

Secret of Slytherin now has a sequel called Geas of Gryffindor.  While Severus and Harry are very important characters in that tale, they are no longer its sole focus, which is why I have chosen not to post it here.  Please check it out on fanfiction.net, or on Archive of Our Own, where I am posting Secret of Slytherin and Geas of Gryffindor under the same penname.

I tend to like many if not all of the canon characters in the HP Universe, and really dislike it when an author is willing to demonize one set of characters to make the others look better.  My favorite characters to mess with are the Trio, Draco Malfoy, Severus Snape and Remus Lupin, but I'm willing to read anyone, so long as they're written thoughtfully.

As a final note, I tend to recommend stories I've enjoyed in my Author's Notes; I also have a C2 for Harry Potter fics on my fanfiction-dot-net account.  That is all.

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Reviews by Kirinin

Past Featured Story Never Say Remember by Malora starstarstarstarstar [Reviews - 434]
Thirteen-year-old Harry is forced into the body of another Harry in a parallel world, where Snape adopted him years ago. And Snape is enraged to discover that his son has been replaced by a stranger. In our world, Snape discovers a new Harry--one who sees him as a father he never wanted to be. Each Harry must learn to survive in a strange new world, and search for a way home.

Takes Place: 4th summer - Snape flavour: None
Tags: Adoption, Alternate Universe
Categories: Snape Equal Status to Harry > Foes Snape and Harry, Parental Snape > Guardian Snape
Rated: T - Warnings: None
Chapters: 24 - Completed: Yes - Updated: 02 Feb 2011 / 20 Dec 2007
Series: None - Challenges: None
Title: Chapter 19: Chapter 19: The Promises of Slytherins 03 Jul 2008
Reviewer: Kirinin (Signed)
    Yay, a new chapter!

    Now that the squee is over and done with... I loved Harry's difficulty with mode of address, especially the 'D-' at the end. His assertion that Snape is using him as a 'hobby' or to keep his parenting skills fresh was perfect: petulant and hurt and he's plainly still raw from that whole scene in the garden. It seems Harry finally understands Snape's relationship towards the other Harry, at least on a gut level. But he also isn't sure whether to trust that gut feeling, or, in fact, whether that affection transfers wholly to *him*: whether Snape sees him as some sort of copy of (or substitute for) his 'real' son, or as a boy unique in and of himself, or even as the *same* as his own child...

    It's also interesting that Harry's learning Potions with more fervor, and catching on to some of Snape's Slytherin wiles. I keep on having a mental picture of the Snape in the other universe thinking to himself, *yes, I can get along with *this* Harry, but I'm well aware that the HP I know is actually quite different...* All the while, canon!Harry is becoming more and more like Severus's son.

    Now, for the CC. I hesitate, here, because this archive is... well, not *known* for its CC: the common P&S reviewer seems to praise the best aspects of a tale without pointing to that with which they disagreed. Still, this was jarring enough that I feel like I do need to comment; and also, you seem to be an author whose writing is mature enough to stand up to a little tweaking. So.

    The action was *very* involving, but more than a bit on the slapstick side for a scene with such an ultimately serious conclusion. It seems odd that Lily would stop to laugh and comment and that Snape would stop to be embarrassed about the whole covered-in-batter bit: if I were Snape, I would be completely and utterly focussed on removing the Portkey from Harry, rather than on my own pride. However, you created a scene in which these things had to happen in order to maintain the lighthearted tone you carried through from beginning until end. Why choose such a tone for a scene in which Harry is evading capture by his worst enemy? In terms of tension, I'd say Harry's evasion of and ultimate capture by Voldemort's forces felt somewhat similar to that towards the end of Book 5, when Harry and Co. are running through the Department of Mysteries searching for Sirius. Imagine if Rowling had gone for slapstick in those scenes and you'll have an idea why this aspect of your chapter was so jarring for me.

    Don't get me wrong, still liking enormously and waiting with bated breath for every installment. And hoping you're the type who actually enjoys CC rather than indiscriminate worship. ;)

    -K

    Author's Response:

    CC is fine--I'm in a writer's group where the majority of what I get is CC.  It's a weird thing--the better I get as a writer, the more I hear about what's wrong with my writing.  ;)  But of course, this is all good--half the reason I write fanfic is to improve my skill (the other half is because it's fun).  You should have seen my action scenes before I started writing NSR: snoozeville.  But I was forced to learn how when I realized an upcoming chapter depended on good action.  So I read up on it and practiced until I wasn't falling into a coma whenever an action scene popped up. Seriously--writing this has been better than getting a creative writing degree in terms of my writing improvement.

     I wasn't sure about that "D--".  I hope readers feel that the characters have "earned" it, by this point.  I wanted it to be a tentative thing, a cry for safety, and not have Harry be all, "James who?"

     I was never happy with this chapter, but I finally got tired of staring at it, and figured I'd strung readers along far enough with the lateness of my update.  Only one scene survived from the original rough draft of this chapter, so this is like a second rough draft that never gelled to my satisfaction.

    I'm not sure how to fix the mood issue--I was going for an Indiana Jones-esque feel, where the mood is lighthearted even when the stakes are high.  I think I need to step away for a few days, and then maybe go back and re-edit.  But I appreciate your take on it.  Of all the things that were bothering me about this chapter, "too slapstick" was not something I'd considered.  I need those fresh sets of eyes for that very reason.


Title: Chapter 19: Chapter 19: The Promises of Slytherins 03 Jul 2008
Reviewer: Kirinin (Signed)
    Essentially using this to respond to your response. ;)

    "It's a weird thing--the better I get as a writer, the more I hear about what's wrong with my writing."

    The worst thing to hear after offering a story up for dissection is silence: it means the reader can't think of anything good to say, or there are so many issues they don't know where to begin. As a writer gets better, the critique tends to become more and more specific until you reach the point where they say nothing at all again... this time because they're speechless w/*joy*. :D

    "You should have seen my action scenes before I started writing NSR: snoozeville."

    You definitely carried the feeling of urgency all the way through, in spite of how I felt about the tone, which is saying something.

    "I wasn't sure about that "D--". I hope readers feel that the characters have "earned" it, by this point."

    I think Harry said it not because Snape earned it, but because he was desperate, and maybe he wouldn't have said it in other circumstances... of course, now that he's said it once, it will be far easier for him to use again...

    "I wanted it to be a tentative thing, a cry for safety..."

    That was exactly how I saw Harry's reaction, so you were dead-on.

    "I was never happy with this chapter, but I finally got tired of staring at it..."

    *sympathizes* Don't you have a beta, though? *checks* No?! Seriously? You should get a beta. As much as I adore seeing the finished product all shiny and ready, I offer up my services if you so choose.

    "I was going for an Indiana Jones-esque feel, where the mood is lighthearted even when the stakes are high."

    I.J. is great at that! It's hard to put my finger on why that didn't work for me, here; but if I had to guess I'd say that your story is generally serious with some lighthearted moments. I.J. is the other way around. Making a scene like the kidnapping of your protagonist be *funny* would probably only succeed in a story that was primarily humorous or even farcical in tone.

    "Of all the things that were bothering me about this chapter, "too slapstick" was not something I'd considered."

    What really bothered you? The Snape/Harry interaction? It came off smelling like a rose to me. :)

    "I need those fresh sets of eyes for that very reason."

    *tentatively offers up beta skills*

    -K

    Author's Response:

    As much as I like getting extra reviews, I should tell you that you can e-mail people via their profile.  Click on the "contact" link at the top of the profile, and type in the text box at the bottom of the screen.

    >The worst thing to hear after offering a story up for dissection is silence


    Oh, I know.  It's a terrible feeling to put yourself out there and be ignored.

    >As a writer gets better, the critique tends to become more and more specific until you reach the point where they say nothing at all again... this time because they're speechless w/*joy*. :D

    Ha.  If only.  I have heard writers say that when you submit your manuscript and each publisher rejects it for a different reason, that's a sign that your writing is good and you just need to find the right publishing niche.  (If they're all rejecting it for the same reason, you need to work on your craft.)

    >*sympathizes* Don't you have a beta, though? *checks* No?! Seriously? You should get a beta. As much as I adore seeing the finished product all shiny and ready, I offer up my services if you so choose.

    Cool!  I'll shoot you an e-mail and we can talk.  

    >your story is generally serious with some lighthearted moments. I.J. is the other way around.

    Hmm, good point.  But I think the structure of the chapter would fall apart if I got rid of all the funny moments in the fight.  I could tighten the tension in a few places where it's coming across as too lighthearted.

    >What really bothered you?

    Oh, I could make a list.  But not here.  E-mail.  :)


Title: Chapter 21: Chapter 21: Through the Glass 09 May 2009
Reviewer: Kirinin (Signed)
    Ah, Malora... you did it again. Though there were parts of this that moved so rapidly the scenery became hard to picture, everything else was pretty much perfect. You nailed the way that Harry feels about Snape and his mother - and the very idea that he could have lost everything that had happened to him was the perfect axe to hang over the reader's head... what he's learned being the point of the story!

    I cannot wait to see the reunion of canon!Snape and canon!Harry... more or less what I've been waiting for the whole series. Let me know if you still need beta-ing. :)

    -K

    Author's Response:

    Hi, Doll!

    Sorry for the late reply.  I just moved, and my life has been consumed with things going in and out of boxes--many, many boxes.  Not to mention the never-ending scrubbing, all in the hopes of getting back a $200 cleaning deposit. 

    Anyway, on to the fic: 
    I got similar critique on the first chapter of my novel--that it was hard to visualize.  Unfortunately, there's not too much in the writing books about that one.   I think one book on revising put it best--some authors are "taker-outers," and others are "putter-inners."  In other words, some authors throw everything into the rough draft and have to take out the filler in editing; others write a spare rough draft and have to put in more details in editing.  I'm definitely the latter, and sometimes I don't put in enough details.

    I might take you up on beta-ing again.  I'll e-mail you.


Title: Chapter 22: Chapter 22: Across the Water 17 Jan 2010
Reviewer: Kirinin (Signed)
    Hey, sweetie - drop me a line if you need beta-ing.

    (This is me kicking you in the pants.) ;)

    -K

Title: Chapter 23: Chapter 23: A Certain Slant of Light 25 May 2010
Reviewer: Kirinin (Signed)
    Much improved! I was on the edge of my (literal) seat. :)

    -K

No Difference by Attackfish starstarstarstarhalf-star [Reviews - 192]
After Harry talks to Dumbledore in Deathly Hallows, he takes a little detour to Spinner’s End, back before it was Snape’s house, back when it belonged to a woman named Eileen Prince. Snape couldn’t be angrier that Harry is his father.

Takes Place: 8 - Pre Epilogue (adult Harry) - Snape flavour: None
Tags: None
Categories: Reverse Roles > Parental Harry
Rated: T - Warnings: Alcohol Use
Chapters: 31 - Completed: Yes - Updated: 28 Sep 2008 / 15 Jan 2008
Series: No Difference - Challenges: None
Title: Chapter 11: Theoretical Study 04 May 2008
Reviewer: Kirinin (Signed)
    I have been wandering through this story up until now, but in this chapter you really hooked me.

    First of all, you've got Harry noticing the doubt and upset on Snape's features because it looks like his *own* features.

    Second, that... that *speech*. Wow. And third, Harry's sudden understanding that *he* will have to be McGonagall or Dumbledore the next time around... and finally, Harry realizing he could *become* Snape...

    You've made a number of sudden connections I as the reader hadn't, and presented them to me wrapped in a pretty bow. Thank you. :)

    -K

    Author's Response:

    I’m glad I hooked you.  I’ve been trying to imply and hint at things because I used to hate it when authors told me what connections to make, but it’s a bit of a balance I guess.

    That speech was kind of my baby for a little while.  Shape’s teaching career has been marked by great speeches, and I was worried I wasn’t up to it.  A friend of mine calls it “in which Snape wows with mathmatics”.

    I liked writing Harry putting the pieces together, and I’m glad it didn’t seem too contrived.


Title: Chapter 20: At the Stake 16 Sep 2014
Reviewer: Kirinin (Signed)
    Excellent discussion of politics, as usual. I'm continuing to enjoy this. Even after literally years away, I still remembered this story because of its unique and memorable premise, and wanted to finish it. :)

    There are a sprinkling of homonym errors throughout, but given the age of this, for all I know you're perfectly aware of them by this point. :)

    -K

    Author's Response:

    I don't know why I didn't respond to this at the time (actually I do.  My health was none too good there for a while, and by the time it was, I had forgotten about this review, sorry) Thank you so much.  This was my first ever fanfic, and I learned so much writing it, that it feels weird having people come back and complement it.

    Yeah, there are a few spelling and homonym errors, but at this point, I am way too lazy to fix them.  I might make the attempt once I'm out of school and not neck deep in the Avatar: the Last Airbender fandom.


Title: Chapter 24: Fiction and Non-Fiction 16 Sep 2014
Reviewer: Kirinin (Signed)
    This bit is brilliant. Knowledge is the only thing that can combat ignorance.

    I did read a study that said, however, that the more educated a zealot becomes, the more likely they are to become even more zealtous - because they're searching for ways to argue against what it is that they're learning. And hearing the opposite point of view over and over again makes people more stubborn rather than more receptive.

    Open-mindedness is its own virtue, connected to, but not the same as, being well-informed.

    -K

    Author's Response: Most Zealots are converts to zealotry, which is to say they grew up in familes that don't believe as they do and became disenchanted with something about the everyday world.  Malfoy is a second generation zealot, and second generation kids like him actually often do become deconverted through information.  There is usually a period where their beliefs harden, but then they pass through it and start opening up to new ideas.  This is especially true after profound shocks, as the events of the previous year must have been.  (I have my degree in the social sciences, can you tell?)

Title: Chapter 26: Spring 16 Sep 2014
Reviewer: Kirinin (Signed)
    The baby stuff here was very well done. Clearly you have some experience with children (or very strong memories of your own childhood!) because the baby-behaviour and the somber six-year-old were both pitch-perfect.

    -K

    Author's Response: I have no memories of my own childhood, and at the time not a whole lot of experience with babies.  What I did have at the time were twin nephews who I was (and still am, but now the're in grade school and they have a new baby sister, who is also enthralling) enthralled by and was quickly making up for my lack of experience by being with them every chance I got.  I was so gaga over them that I ended up deciding to become a teacher.  I was doing a lot of observing.

Title: Chapter 28: More Letters 16 Sep 2014
Reviewer: Kirinin (Signed)
    Ugh, oh god. What a horrible realization at the end!

    I like how you haven't made Harry's and Severus's relationship shift swiftly, but Harry's obstinacy in playing devil's advocate with Severus was irritating (even though quite in character). Harry was pretty sure he wasn't going to accept the invitation to join the Wizengamot, but he wanted to hear Severus's arguments so that he could reassure himself that he was correct in his decision. So he wound Severus up to watch him go - he's pretty good at manipulating people already...

    Author's Response:

    Snape can be such a spectacular you-know-what.  I mean I love him for it, but wow, he is.

    Harry is actually really good at getting what he needs out of people, especially people he doesn't trust, which he hd to be to survive the Dursleys, and I think he actually could have manipulated the Wizengamot.  I also think that Ginny's right, and it would have destroyed him, maybe not the way she thinks, but it would have emotionally wrecked him, especially after he effectively fought to maintain the status quo by defeating Voldemort.  I loved writing Harry's manipulations, because somewhere inside, Snape is recognizing them, and is in something of a mind game contest with Harry, and they're learning to understand each other by means of being awful to each other. (sigh) I enjoy it more than I should.



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