| Title: Repercussions and Recovery
| 11 Apr 2007 8:33 am
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| Reviewer: Kirinin (Signed)
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You did make us think he'd die, didn't you? But it was Lucius and Narcissa. Not as bad, but still pretty harsh and abrupt...
I do wonder why it was that Lucius helped Snape in the end. Were they really that close? Looked at from a wider perspective, Lucius was in essence holding Snape's safety higher than that of his wife or son... he had to know they would immediately become targets. Did he owe Snape? Did he suddenly have the epiphany that he was living a lie and pushing his whole family to do the same? His own story here is a yawning gap in your tale - not that you necessarily could have managed to tell his story at the same time as Harry's and Snape's.
It's strange, though, that he sacrificed so much - and, from our POV, so quickly.
-K
"...as if commenting on the decorum..." I think you mean 'decor', there; decorum is behaviour, usually tactful behaviour; decor is the way a room is decorated.
The death of both of Draco's parents in more or less the same moment is horrific. This was a very powerful, very difficult chapter.
-K
Gah! See, I don't think I got this far the first time I read this through... onto new territory now. And cliffies.
This chapter was so horrific! The condition of the Dursleys and Harry's guilt is so well-played. And... it's true that if Harry weren't around, his relatives wouldn't have had this happen to them. That doesn't make it Harry's doing (because it wasn't his intent) but... it certainly does make for a lot of angst...
-K
"...although he did believe he would do better with more information than less."
Do I get ten points?
-K
OCD-Defense-professor was a good idea. I am about to do a 5th-year rewrite and am coming up blank concerning new ways of reworking 'nasty'. In my opinion, Umbridge was pretty much the worst of the worst - you can't get much more evil than that, lack of DE associations or no.
The whole business with Snape is so miserable. I feel awful for Harry, but also bad for Snape...
-K
Hmm. It seems OOC for Malfoy to turn to fisticuffs - I'm thinking of when he swore he was going to duel Harry but really just tricked him into being out at night and sicced Filch on him. It doesn't seem like his style of nasty.
However, if you were looking to show that Malfoy's evilness has stepped up a notch - or that his courage has - or both - you've picked a good way of showing it.
-K
Just the usual comments that I love your story - Harry's dependence on Snape is really sweet and well done, and their misunderstanding here at the end of the chapter is v. good. :)
-K
I love this chapter! Snape is awkward with baby Harry, which is part of what makes it so charming, but he is still willing to comfort him for the rest of the night. Snape isn't leaping to do whatever Harry wants, but is willing to provide what Harry needs when he needs it.
The depicition of the dream was chill-inducing, partially because you go from such a warm, fuzzy scene to one of such horror - it's quite a jolt.
The only thing I'd say is that it was better to get Mrs. Weasley out of the way via Ron's injury than the way you were doing it before - by marginalizing her importance to Harry. In canon, Mrs. Weasley is the closest to a mum that Harry has. It was kind of irritating when you made *her* kind of irritating in order to bring Harry closer to Snape. This is better.
-K
| Title: Number Twelve Grimmauld Place
| 10 Apr 2007 7:47 pm
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| Reviewer: Kirinin (Signed)
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I always liked the idea of a shade of Sirius haunting Harry... even though it's not the real thing. The only thing I would say about this chapter is that there are a smattering of grammatical and spelling errors throughout, which somewhat detracts from the general awesomeness. ;)
-K
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