Potions and Snitches
Snape and Harry Gen Fanfiction Archive

Reviews For Forlorn Dream
Title: The Room in Mind 01 Aug 2010 11:18 pm
Reviewer: Dream Painter (Signed) [Report This]
    Oh, right. R.O.R. I knew that. *headdesk* Didn't I say I'm not known for my observance skills? LOL

    Poor Horris. Gosh, I hope he gets back somehow, or things get sorted out, anyway (since he is, you stated, dead).
Title: The Room in Mind 21 Apr 2007 2:04 am
Reviewer: Jan_AQ (Signed) [Report This]
    They happened.” he told her, pulling away, “this is the illusion.” Nice line. Poor Harry is so completely in a different universe. How entrancing.
Title: The Room in Mind 20 Apr 2007 6:29 am
Reviewer: Kirinin (Signed) [Report This]
    Ooooh. Very good! Cliffie...

    Actually, Hermione's explanation makes a great deal of sense. Harry's new mentality *does* isolate him from everyone he used to depend on. The only exception is Hermione herself, which almost-but-not-quite disproves that theory. However, it could be that, due to Hermione's talents, Voldemort would prefer that she defect (if? when?) Harry does. Therefore anything that makes them closer while separating them from other Gryffindors is desirable.

    That last is admittedly a bit far-fetched, but then, he's never been accused of being a very direct villain.

    Harry did know where those Potions ingredients were, as well as how to brew something rather strange that seemed to a) not kill him, and b) work. Yet if Voldemort knew the layout of Snape's tertiary labs (likely) and how to make that potion, he *could* have actually implanted those memories into Harry's mind.

    The only way to prove anything would be to supply Hermione with a truth that only the two of them know, but that *this* Hermione never told her world's Harry.

    BTW, I still hold that it's very confusing to keep track of two separate universes, neither of which are canon. This story might have even worked much better with Snape around (i.e. with AU!Harry falling into the canon Universe). While I assume you have a reason for leaving Snape behind so far, it would be much more interesting to me for canon!Snape to be faced with a potions-brewing Slytherin who believes himself to be Horris Snape sooner rather than later.

    Also I'm unaware when this story is taking place. At one point Harry thinks he looks and sounds 'twelve'. Since Harry's a bit runty, he's thirteen maybe at the most. So why is Ron jealous already and talking about Harry and Hermione needing some alone-time? Why is the DA underway? How is Sirius dead?

    This story really does have a lot of unique, intriguing elements and deserves further time and attention. However, too many little plot-bits are chipping off the sides and floating away. In admiration of your story, I still recommend a slight re-working of what you've got - before you go much further along and it becomes too late. ;)

    Happy reading and happy writing!

    -K

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