Potions and Snitches
Snape and Harry Gen Fanfiction Archive

Reviews For Forlorn Dream
Title: Sense and Nonsense 20 Apr 2007 5:59 am
Reviewer: Kirinin (Signed) [Report This]
    This is really quite interesting and intriguing so far, but I was so turned off by your first chapter concerning the beauty of death that I almost didn't hit that all-important 'next' button. Your description of Death as a Lady is crawling with hyperbole and that's why some evil person gave you *half* a chocolate frog.

    Ouch.

    This chapter is much better - though I truly hope you're not creating a superpowered!Harry... they're predictable b/c they excell in, well, all they do. But I *do* like the idea of a Harry who is particularly talented at Potions and who views Severus as his father.

    I like that this Harry is friends with Hermione as well as Draco, it seems. Too many of these stories dismiss Ron and Hermione as superfluous, despite the fact that they have each supported Harry in their own ways throughout his time at Hogwarts.

    On that note, I think it's perfectly all right that you have Ron as betraying Harry in the other world, but it would be interesting to make the point that this Ron is not *that* Ron - because this Hermione isn't your main character's Hermione, by all accounts, either. Harry notes that her attitude is quite different from what he expects. Harry's struggle to be civil to / forgive this world's Ron (because, after all, he did nothing) would be a very interesting lens through which to view Harry's character.

    And I like Ron. ;)

    I like your story, too. So far it's unique. :)

    -Kirinin

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